I love women

The best thing I have ever read, and I am not even exaggerating a little tiny bit: “If the infinite blowjobs of high school were replaced with infinite cunnilingus, I think the result would be Tina Fey automatically becoming our next President. Like within a week of the new rule, this would happen. Read Lysistrata! Tell your friends! Girls of the world, it is cool! Start demanding your right to oral sex, it is awesome!”

This is from Jacob Clifton, who recaps Gossip Girl for Television Without Pity, and who I think is so awesome I should probably email him and tell him so, but for some reason I just don’t do things like that. And it would probably have been the best thing I’ve ever read even if he didn’t manage to work in Tina Fey ruling the world, because, oh my. One of my favorite parts of last week’s Gossip Girl was that when Jenny Humphrey was lying about the sexual activities she and big gay Asher had engaged in, she said, “We went to third,” and one of the bitches was like, “You went to third?” and Jenny’s like, “Oh, no. He did.” Like, yes! It is so much better if you get your boy to go down on you than if you give out blowjobs with no reciprocation. Please, please learn this, young straight women of the world.