Let's talk about Sarah Palin, shall we?

I don't even know if I can get this all out, but, like... What a ri-god-damn-diculous choice for vice president. I was watching The Daily Show last night, and they had an actual clip of this woman saying something like, "I wish I could comment on all this vice president talk, but I can't really say anything until someone tells me what it is the vice president does."

Seriously?

Okay, so we have this issue here that a lot of Hillary supporters don't want to vote for Obama, so maybe it would seem like kind of a good idea for McCain to pick a woman as his running mate. The thing about Hillary supporters, though, that the Republicans don't get is that they're not behind Hillary because she is a lady. They're behind Hillary because she is Hillary. Plus! He could not have picked a woman who is more politically opposite. I mean, she's anti-choice, pro-drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (the governor of Alaska, people, wants to rape her own state), pro-NRA, and she's a creationist. She has nothing in common with Hillary Clinton except reproductive organs. Which was basically the point they made on The Daily Show.

How condescending is that, by the way? There are a block of voters who want a woman in the White House--we'll just pick a woman! Any woman will do! Oh! The best thing on The Daily Show was Samantha Bee's final word on the VP selection: "McCain knows that women don't vote with the big head--they vote with the little hood."

Not to mention she hasn't even been governor of Alaska for two years, and McCain's whole attack on Obama is that he doesn't have enough experience to lead the country. If you're running on experience, how smart is it to pick a second-in-command who's still wet behind the ears? It would seem that by picking this woman, McCain has totally doomed his chances, but... This country is terrifying.

But, really, there have to be other Republican women who have more experience than Palin. Why on earth did he pick her? There is nothing whatsoever to recommend her. You've already secured the religious right, Republicans. Do you really need someone who believes in teaching creationism in public schools on your ticket?

Listen. This woman cannot be our first female anything. And John McCain is old, people--what if he were to die in office? If Sarah Palin became the first female President of the United States of America, I would move to France. That's right, France. Because America hates France. Or maybe Spain. Just beacuse it would be easier to be somewhere I speak the language.

I hate that I have to bash this woman, too, because this country needs more women in high political office, but I mean... I can't just support her because of that. She is everything I hate about Republicans. How can a woman be anti-choice? (I can understand a woman being anti-abortion, but how can she deny other women the right to make that decision for themselves? How?) How can the governor of Alaska support destroying the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge? How can a mother of four oppose gun control?

Also. People keep saying she looks like Tina Fey! Stop comparing her to Tina Fey! Tina Fey would be a much better first female vice president!

If Barack Obama is not the next President of the United States, I do not know what will become of me.