Meatballs

No, I Can't Put It in Your Butt

An ode, of sorts, to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler:

Whenever things in my life seem shitty, these betches have always, always been able to make me forget my troubles for at least a few minutes.

Standing up for Hillary Clinton, ripping apart Sarah Palin, making fun of Martians, telling fart jokes, jumping around on one leg, jumping around on one leg and farting, being hot (as above), imitating Cathy from the cartoon Cathy, the existence of the film Mean Girls, making fun of the Bush twins, gayin' it up for their legions of lady fans (as above). I could probably go on, but I will not.

This might be melodramatic or whatever, but I don't know if I could deal with the things I'll have to deal with without these betches to pick me up once in a while. They're hilarious, they're smart, they're beautiful, and there's no one like them. Also, I mean, wouldn't they make the perfect comedic lesbian couple in some movie? Tina, work your magic.

In conclusion... Pit bulls don't have wallets, dang!