Showing posts with label disney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disney. Show all posts

November 18, 2009

I am beside myself!

So we have a lot of empty wallspace in our apartment, and today I was looking through allposters.com's treasure trove of Disney art, and I had several ideas for filling in the walls. I would like to buy three similarly-themed art prints, frame them, and hang them in a row somewhere. First! The villains!
Or
Allison suggested Scar when I couldn't find a print of Jafar, and I would agree with her, except Simba is ruining this print for me. And while Snow White's Wicked Queen has the worst motive of any Disney villain ever (she's jealous that her step-daughter is hotter than her--and that's it), she looks pretty effing evil in that picture. So I like it.

Next! The lovers!
Who doesn't love that shared spaghetti strand moment in Lady and the Tramp? Aw.

Third! These have no theme connecting them, but I really like them anyway!

I especially like the Sorcerer's Apprentice print, as that is my favorite incarnation of Mickey Mouse of all time.

And then this is not a print--it is a full-sized poster, and it costs twenty dollars, but I really like it. I was totally into Mickey and Minnie Mouse when I was a very little child.
What do you think, internet?

May 22, 2009

Eh, I almost deleted this

Do you know what I was thinking about earlier? Snow White and how the Wicked Queen had the worst motivation ever. She was jealous of her step-daughter's physical beauty, so she tried to kill her. What?

Cinderella's step-mother wanted her dead husband's money. Maleficent had some grudge against the king. Ursula wanted to rule Atlantica.

The Wicked Queen didn't want anyone to be prettier than her. WHAT THE FUCK?

Thus concludes this issue of bitching about things I love*.

*I hate Snow White, though. But I love Disney.

April 23, 2009

She didn't shudder at my paw

In honor of my trip to Disney World on Saturday, I have compiled a playlist of all the Disney songs in my iTunes library. I have called it "Disney Explosion!" and I am posting it here just in case any of you had any lingering feelings that I might be considered, as the kids say, "cool."

Disney Explosion!
1. Belle
2. Belle (Reprise)
3. Gaston
4. Gaston (Reprise)
5. Be Our Guest
6. Something There
7. The Mob Song
8. Beauty and the Beast
9. Circle of Life
10. I Just Can't Wait to Be King
11. Be Prepared
12. Hakuna Matata
13. Can You Feel the Love Tonight
14. Cruella de Vil
15. Arabian Nights
16. One Jump Ahead
17. Friend Like Me
18. Prince Ali
19. A Whole New World
20. Prince Ali (Reprise)
21. Yo Ho! (A Pirate's Life for Me)
22. Long Ago... (Hercules intro)
23. The Gospel Truth I/Main Titles
24. The Gospel Truth II
25. The Gospel Truth III
26. Go the Distance
27. Go the Distance (reprise)
28. One Last Hope
29. Zero to Hero
30. I Won't Say (I'm in Love)
31. A Star Is Born
32. He's a Tramp
33. Sister Suffragette
34. The Life I Lead
35. The Perfect Nanny
36. A Spoonful of Sugar
37. Pavement Artist
38. Jolly Holiday
39. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
40. Stay Awake
41. I Love to Laugh
42. A British Bank (The Life I Lead)
43. Feed the Birds (Tuppence a Bag)
44. Fidelity Fiduciary Bank
45. Chim Chim Cher-ee
46. Step in Time
47. A Man Has Dreams
48. Let's Go Fly a Kite
49. Honor to Us All
50. Reflection
51. I'll Make a Man Out of You
52. A Girl Worth Fighting For
53. Prologue
54. Carrying the Banner
55. Santa Fe
56. The World Will Know
57. Seize the Day
58. King of New York
59. High Times, Hard Times
60. Seize the Day (Chorale)
61. Santa Fe (Reprise)
62. Once and for All
63. The World Will Know (Reprise)
64. Carrying the Banner (Finale)
65. I'll Try
66. Fathoms Below
67. Daughters of Triton
68. Part of Your World
69. Under the Sea
70. Part of Your World (Reprise)
71. Poor Unfortunate Souls
72. Les Poissons
73. Kiss the Girl
74. This Is Halloween
75. Jack's Lament
76. What's This?
77. Town Meeting Song
78. Jack's Obsession
79. Kidnap the Sandy Claws
80. Making Christmas
81. Oogie Boogie's Song
82. Sally's Song
83. Poor Jack
84. Finale/Reprise
85. When She Loved Me
86. The Bells of Notre Dame
87. Out There
88. Topsy Turvy
89. God Help the Outcasts
90. Heaven's Light/Hellfire
91. A Guy Like You
92. The Court of Miracles
93. The Belles of Notre Dame (Reprise)
94. Once Upon a Dream

1-8 from Beauty and the Beast, 9-13 from The Lion King, 14 from 101 Dalmatians, 15-20 from Aladdin, 21 from Disneyland's Pirates of the Caribbean ride, 22-31 from Hercules, 32 from Lady and the Tramp, 33-48 from Mary Poppins, 49-52 from Mulan, 53-64 from Newsies, 65 from Return to Neverland, 66-73 from The Little Mermaid, 74-84 from The Nightmare Before Christmas, 85 from Toy Story 2, 86-93 from The Hunchback of Notre Dame, 94 from Sleeping Beauty

July 2, 2008

I have the film taste of an eight- to ten-year-old

With the release of Wall-E last weekend, it seems that everyone is making a list of their favorite Pixar movies. So. Here’s mine.

9. Cars
This movie is, like, almost exclusively for pre-school aged boys. (I’m all for gender equality and stuff, but I have never met a four-year-old girl obsessed with machines. They must exist, though, right? Anyway.) It’s cute and all, and it’s Pixar, so it is good, but it’s just not the best.

8. A Bug’s Life
This is the only Pixar movie I don’t own, and I’ve only seen it once, so you’d think it wouldn’t be better than Cars, but… I like movies about living things better than machines. Uh, generally. Plus, the cast of voice actors in this movie is awesome.

7. Ratatouille
Okay, I bought this without even seeing it once—I don’t know how Mike and I missed it in theaters—and it was totally worth it. The only thing is that I fell asleep in the middle, which was more a reflection on my hectic lifestyle than it was on the movie. That just means I haven’t given Ratatouille the chance to rocket up the list yet, because it is seriously sweet and hilarious. And it’s about a rat who is a gourmet cook! It’s charming. Plus, the main human character’s name is Linguini. Like, for real.

6. Toy Story 2
Everyone says the sequel is better than the original, so maybe I haven’t given the sequel a fair chance, but… It’s good—I may have even cried—but the original Toy Story still bests it for me. Still, Sarah McLachlan singing “When She Loved Me”—I’d have to be made of stone not to be moved by that. I think I should watch this one again, probably.

5. Toy Story
Okay, for years I used to wonder what my toys would do while I was at school—or away on vacation—and this movie just brought my imagination to life in the most perfect way. And when I was ten or whatever, it was hilarious. And I still love the aliens in that claw machine at the pizza place. Toy Story was brilliant. Brilliant, I say, and it still holds up for me.

4. Wall-E
Right, so this is the movie about machines I liked better than a movie about living things. You guys. It is so sweet and so funny, and oh my god. I spent the whole movie wanting to grab Mike’s hand, but I didn’t because we’re not in love in that way. So. Sweet. And the animation is mind-blowing. I am definitely going to see this one again in theaters.

3. The Incredibles
Oh my god, this movie. When it was released in theaters, I had very little interest in it, so I didn’t see it until we were in Texas in 2005 when it was on the Pay-Per-View channels, and I think we watched it almost every night, because there was nothing else on, and I never got tired of it. And, yo. I know everyone says this, but I. Love. Edna. Also, Holly Hunter is hot even when you can’t see her.

2. Monsters, Inc.
This was another Pixar movie I didn’t see until long after it was out of theaters, and I don’t know why, because it slayed me. Billy Crystal and Jennifer Tilly are generally intolerable, but they were some of the best things about this movie. It’s just brilliant and all heart-warming, and I love the Abominable Snowman.

1. Finding Nemo
If you know me, and you know my favorite classically animated Disney movie is The Little Mermaid, you shouldn’t be surprised that Finding Nemo is my favorite Pixar film. I love anything that takes place in the ocean. Love it. Plus, Finding Nemo is far and away the funniest of Pixar’s offerings, and it features Ellen Degeneres’s best performance ever, as Dory, the forgetful, golden-hearted fish. As an added bonus, Allison Janney plays a starfish. I don’t think Pixar will ever top this one.

Oh! Plus, the animated short before Wall-E, featuring an adorable bunny rabbit, is probably my favorite short of Pixar’s. I would go see Wall-E again just for that.

So. Anyone wanna weigh in? Am I the only one out there who’s seen all of Pixar’s movies?

May 22, 2008

How 'bout a girl who's got a brain? Who always speaks her mind?

Okay, so I’m sure all the ladies have heard of this “which Disney princess are you?” bananas—and maybe have even spent time thinking about it in their twenties. Ahem. Anyway, I always said I was Ariel, not for any similarities in our personalities, per se, but because I wanted to be a mermaid. When I was small, I was obsessed with the water and the ocean and all that—so much so that before I had any idea of what a scientific career might entail, I decided I wanted to be a marine biologist. Thus, Ariel.
Later, I guess I was slightly more aligned with Belle, Disney’s resident lady booknerd, but that’s about all we have in common, since she's all compassionate and into hairy men.
Plus, I still want to be Ariel. Pre legs. After she gets legs, I am so not interested in her life anymore.

Now, though, I definitely don’t relate to the princess thing at all, because they all end up with a man, and so I was like, “Who is the gayest Disney princess?”
And, while not technically a princess, the answer is, duh, Mulan. It’s not only for the cross-dressing and the kicking ass better than the boys. As I was driving home from Toronto, I was listening to some Disney soundtracks, and I was, like, struck by this line in “Reflection,” sung, of course, by Mulan: “If I were truly to be myself, I would break my family’s heart.” Now I was lucky enough not to have that struggle, and I know bringing Disney into this is cheesy and all, but that’s what a lot of young gays experience—that feeling that if they let themselves be who they are they’ll be disappointing the people they love. And Mulan’s struggle is to try to be the person her family and her traditions expect her to be—but she can’t. Even if she lets down her family, she must be who she is.
Gay. Gaygaygaygaygay. Or just a badass warrior chick, which, considering it’s Disney, is pretty much good enough.

Later, I may go on an extended jag about Disney's portrayal of women, which was actually a topic of discussion in a class I took in college, so I feel justified. Kind of.

May 21, 2008

I had it sorted

There are a lot of things to say about the film adaptation of Prince Caspian, and I won’t remember to say all of them, but… Let’s start with the things I loved--and also a spoiler warning (for the film, book, and later books in the series--mostly in my discussion of Susan).

Regina Spektor doing the closing credits song! And it was good. I love Regina.

Eddie Izzard as Reepicheep. Perfect. That’s all there is to it.
Anna Popplewell is now at least eighteen, so I don’t have to feel dirty for finding her so exquisitely lovely as Susan.
All the visual stuff is magnificent. The ruins of Cair Paravel, Miraz’s castle, Aslan’s Howe (which is so much bigger than I imagined it—and than Lewis described it, I’m pretty sure, but it’s fantastic anyway), the scene where the Hag and the Werewolf almost call the White Witch back, played much more dramatically than it was written in the novel, but still brilliant.

Georgie Henley might as well change her name to Lucy Pevensie, for serious. I am convinced no one else on earth could play that part, and I cannot wait to see The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, which remains my favorite of The Chronicles of Narnia novels.
Skandar Keynes, who was really good at playing outcast Edmund, was also really good at playing part of the family Edmund, which I was vaguely concerned about. Really, all four of the children were perfectly cast.
There’s also a fair bit of sweet sibling humor in the movie that is completely absent from the book. In fact, almost all of the books lack humor, and it is a very welcome addition to the movies. These four kids actually feel like a family on screen.
Poor Will Mosely, though, because Peter is an absolute pill in this movie. In the book, it’s Susan who won’t believe in Aslan and is generally a stick in the mud, but in the movie, that’s all on Peter, as he decides it’s his job alone to fix what’s wrong with Narnia. He will neither wait for help from Aslan, nor listen to advice from Caspian. The bickering between the two of them was one of my least favorite things about the movie—but I will say that how they just meet up and instantly get along in the novel is far too neat and tidy to be interesting. Also, I mean, I got behind Peter's message, which was something along the lines of “we can’t expect Aslan to fix things for us,” but he was just a turd about it. That’s all.

Because of the fact that the movie is structured completely differently from the novel, there has to be tension somewhere. Most of the tension in the novel comes from the Pevensies arguing about the best way to get to Caspian and whether or not Lucy has actually seen the lion. The movie creates tension in multiple ways—among the Pevensies, between Caspian and Peter, between Miraz and his men, between Miraz and Caspian—it’s all very interesting, but it’s almost nothing like the book.

I still don’t understand why the Telmarines were portrayed as a swarthy, Mediterranean race of people—because they’re originally descended from pirates? What the eff ever. Caspian’s accent drove me crazy, and Ben Barnes is TOO OLD. And kind of dull. Hopefully, he’s more interesting in the next film.
Okay, so I could probably go on about the differences between the novel and the film, but I won’t. I’ll just say the only thing I hated was the romance between Susan and Caspian. I…still say it’s not necessary, even though… Oy, there’s so much going on in my head here, but let’s say this: It's at least somewhat in accordance with her character, because Susan is the only one of the eight children who visit Narnia from our world to experience a sexual awakening (implied only), and it is (also implied only) her downfall, but since she’s been portrayed much more sympathetically in the films, I really wonder how they’re going to deal with her absence in The Last Battle, which, truth be told, is my biggest problem with these books, but whatever. Let’s get back to how she is in Prince Caspian.

The novel sees her as more annoyingly practical than ever, insisting that the children put their shoes back on after frolicking in the ocean (the things I remember...) and that Lucy couldn’t possibly have seen Aslan if the others didn’t. Also, she does a lot of whining. There’s really none of that in the movie—she won’t believe that Lucy has seen Aslan, but she’s not an ass about it—and Peter doesn’t believe her either. Only Edmund sticks up for her, because Edmund’s betrayal and redemption have made him wiser than his older siblings. But once Lucy finds the way across the gorge, she asks her little sister why she couldn’t see Aslan, instead of going on insisting that he was never there in the first place. Susan mostly keeps to herself in the film, which is different for her, but I like it a lot. She’s trying to reconcile her life in Narnia with the life she must go back to in England, and it’s hardest for her and Peter—hardest of all for Peter, as far as the movie goes—and I think, really, it’s ultimately that that causes her downfall. She struggles to leave her old life behind and accept her new one, and the only way she can find do that—later, of course—is to pretend the old life was just a game. Which is very sad for Susan. But I’m getting ahead of myself again.
Anyway, the other thing I really wanted to discuss was how much ass she kicks in the film. In the novel, she and Lucy stay out of the way of the battle, just as in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, riding in on Aslan’s back so he can finish things off, and they can watch. The movie puts Susan right in the thick of things, commanding the archers at the top of the How and fighting right alongside her brothers. I do love this, Susan getting to be part of the action, because, honestly, what is the point of being awesome at archery if you don’t get to use the skill? And Susan is the best archer in Narnia, which we get proof of in the book, but it’s not so obvious in the movie. Oh. The other part I loved was when she rode out with Lucy to see if they could find the lion, and the Telmarine soldiers caught up with them, and she jumped off the horse and stayed behind to kill the bad guys while her little sister galloped for help. Of course, she ends up being rescued by a big, strong man in the end—blech—but this is, like, light years ahead of her portrayal in the book in terms of awesomeness.
However, that was the one positive thing Susan had going for her, as I’ve said before: she doesn’t like to kill things. She does, however, hesitate to shoot the bear just like in the book, and Trumpkin is forced to kill it. The movies have made her much more likable than she ever was in the books, though, so I’ll take this version of Susan happily. Queen Susan the Gentle totally no longer fits her at all, though. I shall redub her Queen Susan the Fearless.

The only other difference between the movie and the book that I really wanted to discuss was the scene in which the White Witch almost comes back. Now, for most of the book, the Pevensies are not with Caspian—for most of the movie, they are. In the book, Caspian almost gets duped into calling on the White Witch, because he has already deliberately (with Susan’s horn) called upon Aslan and the four king and queens, but they have not come yet, and so Nikabrik tries to get him to go the Dark Arts way. In the movie, the Pevensies are there, but they’ve failed to bring any help to the Narnians—in fact, Peter’s first battle plan ended in, basically, the slaughter of a fair number of Narnian soldiers. Thus, Caspian is losing faith in the kings of old—and there’s another element: during this first battle, he learns that Miraz killed his father (why he doesn’t know that already I’m really not sure), so he gets a little bloodlusty in addition to being let down by the High King. So he succumbs kind of easily to the Hag’s plan, but when he realizes what’ll happen, that Jadis will once again be unleashed upon Narnia, he tries to stop it, and Peter comes in to stop it, but he gets caught in her snare as well, so that Edmund, the only one who really knows the Witch, has to save them from her. Again. This is a big chunk of the reason that Edmund was always my favorite in the books. After his fall, he’s learned something, and he knows what to trust to. The others, not having experienced anything like what he did, don’t have the same kind of wisdom. "Edmund [became] a graver and quieter man than Peter," after all. Anyway.
Now let’s talk about Peter. Both here and in the film version of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, he’s much more complex than he is in the books. In both books, he’s basically do-gooder Peter, without internal conflicts or any real flaws. In the first film, he is the reluctant hero, which was an interesting angle, and in Prince Caspian, there is much more going on in Peter’s own brain than there ever is in any of the books.

He’s having such a hard time readjusting to life in England after being a king that he’s getting into fights with other boys. When he returns to Narnia, it’s not his Narnia, but he will only rely on himself to put it to rights, because he is High King Peter. He fights with Caspian; he argues with Edmund; he almost falls prey to the White Witch, and he puts almost no faith in Aslan, something the Peter of the novels never would have done. As uncomfortable as it is to watch—and as little similarity as it bears to the Peter I know—this version is ultimately more interesting, because it makes Peter a flawed, human character. He is the least developed in the novels of all the siblings, and I like that the films are giving him some depth. Susan, too, gets layers instead of just one-note nagging, but even she gets to experience a mini-redemption in the novel of Prince Caspian—hard-headed and blind at first, but brought around at the end. Peter’s just always good, maybe a little misdirected at times, but always upright and true. A real wooden-headed doofus, like the princes in early Disney movies. In the movies, he’s much more than that.

And now I have just realized something. This is the first case in my entire life of the movies besting books I cherished. CHERISHED. I have to curl into a ball now and rethink my entire sense of self.

Goodnight!

April 13, 2008

I am excited about this

From this Yahoo! Movies article on up-coming Disney animated films: "Another new original fairy tale, 'The Bear and the Bow' -- an action-adventure about a royal family in rugged and mythic Scotland -- is slated to open Christmas 2011 starring the voices of Reese Witherspoon, Billy Connolly, and Emma Thompson."

Also! Apparently, all of Disney's animation projects in the works (except for two) will be made in digital 3D. They have plans for only one hand-drawn animated film, The Princess and the Frog, which makes me sad, because I am a hand-drawn animated Disney film junkie. But I also love Pixar's stuff, and I really love stuff that's in 3D. So...I'm happy they have at least one old-school animated movie in the works.

They're making Toy Story 3, which I'm sure will not be a bad movie, but is it really necessary? Is Cars 2? Sequels make me tired, but the original projects sound like they have potential, so... I'll just be sitting here, dorkily anticipating the new Disney movies.

Oh! I'm also really excited about Pixar's newest movie, Wall E., which is coming out in June. The trailer killed me.

But, anyway, a fairy tale that takes place in mythic Scotland and incorporates Emma Thompson? How could that be anything less than awesome?

March 22, 2008

Sing, sweet nightingale

Last night, I meant to go to bed early for once, but I accidentally stayed up to watch Enchanted, which, on the whole, I found entirely charming. Amy Adams is adorable. I had no idea. Also, there were a lot of references to classic animated Disney movies, beyond the obvious Snow White/Cinderella/ Sleeping Beauty stuff. For example, McDoofus and Giselle have dinner at an Italian place called Bella Notte, like the song from “Lady and the Tramp.” Also, there’s a part in one of the musical numbers where McDoofus and Giselle are in a rowboat in the pond in Central Park for no real reason other than it recalls the “Kiss the Girl” scene from The Little Mermaid. So as a Disney geek and appreciater of adorable ladies, I thoroughly enjoyed it. But as a feminist, I still had some serious issues with it.

For one, Susan Sarandon’s evil queen is obviously the coolest, most powerful character—I mean look at this:
She’s the evil queen from Snow White plus Maleficent, and she’s the greatest, but the plot is put into motion because her stepson finds his true love (allegedly), and her throne becomes threatened, so she heaves Giselle out of the world. So here we have a power mad woman upsetting the balance of things, and only a bone-headed man can restore everything. And James Marsden, while brilliantly moronic, is so. Dumb. He interprets poor Pip’s charades as messages to tell him how great he is—only becoming able to understand him at the very end, of course. But the thing that really killed it for me was at the end, when he basically catches Narissa trying to kill Giselle, and she tries to save her ass, suggesting perhaps he’s overreacting and being a bit “melodramatic,” and he replies, “I don’t know what that means.” I was like, “Really? REALLY? This idiot gets to take the place of this smart, powerful woman??” Why are smart, powerful women always evil in Disney films? Why? At least, in this instance, have another smart, powerful woman restore the balance. But Giselle is a bimbo and a half, and Nancy is hardly developed as a character, so we’re right where we were, like, eighty years ago with Snow White.

Another thing that really bothered me I guess is relatively minor, but here we go. When McDoofus tells his daughter that he’s going to ask Nancy to marry him, he tries to soften the blow by giving her a book—a book about important women in history, which, like, yay for you, McDoofus! But it is not favorably received by six-year-old Morgan, who would clearly rather read about princesses and enchantments and all that bananas. And maybe textbook-like material is not the greatest gift for a six-year-old, but I still think that book would be good for her. I mean, in this movie, you basically have the real world vs. fairy tale world, and obviously the children in the audience are going to be rooting for the world of make believe and hoping and hoping that McDoofus comes around and realizes Giselle is his one true love or whatever. So the book about important historical women gets shunted onto the “bad” side of this dichotomy, because it’s about McDoofus being boring and trying to take all the fun out of life or whatever. And it seems to show young girls that history isn’t important—that they can ignore all that, all the hard and brave and important things women have done, and go on hoping that some day their princes will come. The only thing that gave me hope here was a brief shot of Giselle reading the book on the couch before getting into it with McDoofus. Maybe Giselle can actually blend real life and fantasy for McDoofus and Morgan, making their lives more fun, but she can also help Morgan learn the important things about life. Wishful thinking since Enchanted is still a regular fairy tale. At least Giselle has her own job at the end! Hey, that’s progress, I guess.

So they, um, made a half-hearted attempt to do a more feminist retelling of a fairy tale, because Giselle has to go save McDoofus from the dragon instead of the other way around—she even uses a sword—but it is actually ultimately Pip the chipmunk who causes the dragon’s death. Which is fine, since I don’t like killing things. And the prince was rescued by the girl and her chipmunk.

It’s not enough. She still fell into an enchanted sleep that he had to wake her from!

Also, while McDoofus and Giselle have a slightly more realistic relationship, as they get to know each other a little bit (at least) before shacking up, we still have the same damned stale old fairy tale happening with Edward and Nancy. Like, okay, Giselle leaves behind a transparent shoe when she chases after the dragon to save her man, and at the end, Nancy finds it, and Edward puts it on her, and it fits, and they’re in love! They rush back to the fantasy land of Andalasia to get married. Ridiculous. It seemed that the point of this movie was to temper that archetype with at least a small strain of reality, but they totally negated that with the stupid ending. Damn, Disney, have some balls and allow some characters to be alone at the end of your movie. Oh, god, of course that’s never going to happen.

Hah, would you believe I actually really liked this movie? Because I did. I mean, I love The Little Mermaid, but it has some of the exact same problems. Oh, but there was this one stupid scene that almost made me cry, and it was mostly insignificant, but whatever. Peter Pettigrew follows Giselle and Edward to New York to try to thwart their reunion, and Pip the chipmunk figures it out, so Peter Pettigrew has to spend the rest of the movie trying to shut Pip up, and at one point, he strings Pip up by his paws using a hotel hanger, one of those with the clips for hanging up pants—each paw is stuck in a clip—so he’s just hanging there, looking kind of like he’s being crucified, and he makes a pitiful tiny animal squeak of pain, and it killed me. I mean, he escapes and everything, but that image just made me depressed. Do not cause pain and suffering to tiny animals!

Oh, also, like any good fairy tale, it has a narrator, and I was, like, “That betch sounds like Julie Andrews.” And it was! Even Julie Andrews in a tiny voiceover part can make a movie for me.

March 10, 2008

Making up for the lack of updates all at once

Here’s something that was inspired by (read: stolen from) someone’s blog on afterellen.com:

TV Characters I Would Date
Liz Lemon (3o Rock)– obviously. She’s kind of neurotic, but she’s clearly smart and funny, and oh yes, she’s actually Tina Fey. I know she already tried to be a lesbian, but whatever. This is my fantasy!

Tyra Collette (Friday Night Lights) – She is tough and badass and hot, but underneath it all, she’s still vulnerable and unsure of herself, because she’s, uh, supposed to be seventeen, and that combination just kills me. Plus, Adrienne Palicki is, like, seven feet tall (and totally older than seventeen!). Gorgeous.

Catalina (Space Cases) – My first true girlcrush, Catalina was, like, totally Jewel Staite’s preparation for being what’s her face on Firefly. I got all giddy and dorky when Ryan made me watch Serenity, like “She was all into the ship’s engines on Space Cases too!” I never actually watched all of Serenity, because that one time he tried to make me watch it, I fell asleep on Mike’s couch—and so did Mike and Ryan’s sister—but I remember that part.

Dana Fairbanks (The L Word) – Dana was my favorite character on The L Word, and I am still bitter about her death. She was such a dork, and she was so funny and sweet and cute… And I’ve always had a secret soft spot for jocks.

Faith (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) – Okay, so maybe I wouldn’t want to date Faith, really, since the girl is unstable. Maybe I’d just want to have as much sex with her as possible before she totally skipped town to kill undead things or whatever. That would be fine with me.

So two random people started following me on twitter the other day, and one of them is this bilingual dude who seems to only post, like, mushy quotations. In English and Spanish. And one of them was this: “Te quiero no por quien eres, sino por quien soy cuando estoy contigo.” Which means, “I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I’m with you.” How gross is that? And it’s not gross in the way I would usually call something like that gross. It’s gross in that that is such a self-centered thing to say. “I don’t love you because you have these special qualities that are unique to you—I love you because you make me look good.” I don’t like that; I don’t like the idea that someone is only worthwhile if they make you better. I would never want anyone to say that to me. I want to be loved for who I am, and I want to love someone for who she is and what is important to her and whether or not she’ll stay up all night watching old episodes of Futurama with me. I don’t want her to have to change me—that’s not fair to her. Am I making any sense? It’s just like that stupid “you complete me.” No! That’s not how this works. You have to be complete yourself—you cannot expect someone to validate you. That’s not fair to you or to the other person. And there’s just something so blatant about that quotation: “I don’t love you because of you, but because of me.” Hideous.

Now there’s another one up there: “The greatest hate springs from the greatest love,” which just sounds like a hacky spin on “my only love sprung from my only hate”—of which I do not approve. How do these people find me?

My dad had this ancient box set of The Lord of the Rings trilogy plus The Hobbit (and by “ancient,” I probably mean “from the ‘70s”), and that’s how I first read them, but they totally all fell apart while I was reading them, and now I have no idea what happened to them. But I loved them, because they were so old and just simple paperbacks, and they were all a different color, like The Hobbit was yellow; The Fellowship of the Ring was red; The Two Towers was green, and The Return of the King was blue. I may have mixed up the colors—but those were the colors, anyway. I kind of want that exact box set back; I have a hard cover set, but it doesn’t include The Hobbit, and I love hard cover sets for displaying things, but paperback books are the best for reading—and reading and reading until they fall apart or you give them to Allison in the hopes that she will read them already, dammit. I don’t even know how to go about finding that old box set—I wish I had an ISBN number or something. Maybe I’ll just trawl through Abebooks.

Philip Pullman wrote a story about how Lee and Iorek became friends! I am very excited to read that—I think it’ll be more interesting than Lyra’s Oxford.

I have this playlist on iTunes that I have called “Can’t Get Enough,” and it’s a somewhat fluctuating collection of songs I can listen to over and over, and it’s basically what I listen to when I’m in the car, and it consists of mostly Brandi Carlile. Still.

So this book I’m reading is part of a series of sorts of retelling of myths by ladies, and it includes The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood, which, when I first heard the title, I was hoping was a retelling of The Odyssey but with Penelope as the main character, but I was kind of thinking it would be about what Penelope did while Odysseus was away, which it basically is. Boo. I do still want to read it, though. I’ve more or less read The Odyssey, so I’m good with that one.

Another thing I stole from the afterellen blogs:

Books that have affected me deeply:
A Ring of Endless Light by Madeleine L’Engle – This is quite possibly the book I have read the most times in my entire life. I haven’t reread it in at least a year, actually, but I’m pretty sure I still have it memorized.

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott – For most of my adolescent life, I wanted to be Jo March, and I always hate the end of the book, where she decides to marry that guy. I didn’t want her to marry Laurie either—and there were certainly no suitable ladies included in this book for her to pine for, so… Spinster Jo it is! No, but really, Jo March is one of my biggest literary heroes. For sure.

The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman – Everything comes to its beautiful, heartbreaking, poignant conclusion in this book, and it is just so perfect, I can’t handle it. I love the story of Mary and the mulefa, and I’m still puzzling out exactly the significance of her character’s name being Mary in this retelling of Paradise Lost, because my brain is slow, but one day I’ll have an articulate analogy.

Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden – This is, far and away, the best lesbian-themed book I’ve read so far. It is imperfect—the dialogue sounds hardly realistic at times, but that’s not really the point. It is the sweetest coming out story I’ve found, and when I first read the scene where Liza and Annie kiss for the first time, my heart caught. It was just beautiful.

The Giver by Lois Lowry – This book is so haunting—my second favorite Newbery winner. I haven’t read it in a few years, but I think I need to again.

Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls – The only book that ever made me bawl, until Jo Rowling killed Fred Weasley, but I don’t even remember what happened at the end, except the dogs died horribly. I do not need to read this one again, thanks.

Yes! My super early Top Chef girlcrush Lisa is totally gay! Remember her? I fell in love because of the bandana? Plus! There are two other lesbians on the damn show. Three lesbians on a reality show that is actually, like, respectable! When has that even happened? Never, that’s when. I cannot wait till Wednesday.

Oh my god. I had a dream last night that the Indigo Girls were actually the surviving members of TLC—T-Boz and Chili. What the fuck was that about?

Ariel plays the role of siren in the Broadway version. A little bit. Eric hears her voice at the very beginning of the show, and instead of giving in to Grimsby's pleas and the sailors' advice to return to shore, he cries, "Follow that voice! To the ends of the earth if we have to!" I don't know how I feel about that...

March 2, 2008

Keep singing!

So apparently, Disney put The Little Mermaid on Broadway, and I obviously have to go see it now, but I bought the soundtrack on iTunes last night because I am crazy, and it was only $7.99. I haven't finished listening to the whole thing yet, but I have several things to say. This woman they found to play Ursula is no Pat Carroll. I know they don't want, like, an identical performance, because that wouldn't be very interesting--in addition to being impossible, because how can anyone top Pat Carroll's drag show in "Poor Unfortunate Souls"? However, the girl they found to play Ariel is lovely. They gave Scuttle far too large a part: he gets two songs, and they're both pretty bad. Oh, and they made the relationship between Ursula and Triton explicit: they're siblings, which is something that was meant to be included in the movie, but it got cut. I still find that odd, but I guess it explains how Ursula was once in power, and then her might makes right big brother took over. Blech. That makes me angry. One day, someone will write a story where the brother is the evil one, and the sister rules with benevolence--alone, because her husband is dead--and she and her children must defeat the evil brother who wants to bring darkness back to the kingdom. Maybe even a set of fraternal twins: a prince and princess who work together to help their mother keep their kingdom secure. I don't hate men, but Disney has far too many female villains and absolutely no female characters with any kind of political power.

Um, anyway, I still totally love The Little Mermaid, and I still totally must go to New York to see it. I missed Beauty and the Beast--I cannot miss this!

February 15, 2008

Well, you know

Okay, I have a confession to make. Despite the fact that The Little Mermaid has been my favorite Disney movie for almost twenty years, and despite the fact that I am very obnoxious about reading the source material movies are based on (if they have one), I didn't read the original story by Hans Christian Andersen until...yesterday. I really have no idea how this horrendous oversight occurred, but at least I finally rectified it. When I was doing research for my thesis on how Disney portrays gender, specifically in The Little Mermaid, I became familiar with the differences between the film and the fairy tale, but there was one article I read that said that all of Andersen's descriptive powers go to creating the undersea world, causing readers to wonder why the little mermaid would ever want to leave, which is such a lie. His descriptions of the world humans inhabit are just as beautiful as the undersea world, so whatever. The other thing I want to bring up is that I guess it's pretty accepted that ol' Hans was a closeted homo, and "The Little Mermaid" rather reflects that, and I think it is true. The little mermaid endures all kinds of pain to be accepted, but she remains an outsider. The prince falls in love with her, but he will not marry her, and that whole thing just sounded so much like two boys growing close, one longing to tell the other how he feels but unable to use his voice. Poor Hans.

As for the differences from the Disney film, well... The one that bugged the crap out of me was that in Andersen's story, it was merpeople tradition for the merchildren to visit the surface once they turned fifteen, but in the film, it is expressly forbidden--and Ariel is the only one who wants to go up there anyway. Also, the sea king is barely in the story at all, but he is a very imposing force in the film--that would have been a useful thing to know when I was writing my paper. Oh well. In the story, the sea witch and the little mermaid don't really make a bargain--I mean, she still has to give up her voice (really, her tongue, which, ewwwww), but the sea witch doesn't really seem to get anything out of this exchange, since the tongue is used to create the potion that will turn her human (interestingly, Ursula throws a disembodied tongue into her potion during "Poor Unfortunate Souls"--where did it come from?). Ursula wants Ariel in her power to use her as a bargaining tool for regaining the kingdom from Triton, but the sea witch apparently just wants to cause the little mermaid pain? I don't...know. And here's a thing I kind of discussed in my paper: Ursula is a female character who is ambitious, who wants power, and so she must be destroyed. The sea witch is just a witch--she has no designs on the kingdom; she's just a tool for the little mermaid to use--so nothing happens to her. That's a theme in Disney films: powerful women must be destroyed--Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty, the step-mother, to an extent, in Cinderella, Ursula in The Little Mermaid--hell, even Cruella DeVil in 101 Dalmatians. I forget what my conclusion was about that, but I was clearly unhappy about it.

Anyway, so "The Little Mermaid" ends with the prince marrying the wrong girl, and the way the sea witch's spell worked, the little mermaid had to either marry the prince or turn into sea foam as soon as the sun rose after the prince married another. Her sisters, to spare her this fate, go to sea witch, and she tells them that if the little mermaid will kill the prince with this knife, his blood will turn her back into a mermaid, so she can at least spend 300 years with her family before turning into sea foam. But then she cannot go through with it, and as the sun rises, she throws the knife into the sea, expecting to dissolve into nothing, but! That does not happen. Instead, she joins the spirits of the air, who spend 300 years on earth, trying to do good deeds, like sending cool breezes to the deserts or something, until they earn an immortal soul and are permitted into the kingdom of god. So hooray for that. But then it ends, like, super weirdly, with the spirits of the air telling the little mermaid that every time they blow through a house with a child in it that loves its parents, god takes a year off their 300-year sentence, but every time they blow through a house with a bratty kid, a day is added to the time they must serve. Like, what is with the admonishment for the children at the end? "Do you want the little mermaid to get to heaven? Then behave yourself!" What?

One last thing: the little mermaid ends up as a spirit of the air, as I have said, and that, my friends, is what Ariel in The Tempest is. An oblique Shakespeare reference in a Disney film! Love it. Oh, or maybe "ariel" became a generic folkloric name for a spirit of the air. Whatever! It's a Shakespeare reference if I want it to be. I also found this bizarro lesbian retelling of "The Little Mermaid," and it had more similarities to the Andersen story than the Disney film, obviously, but the mermaid's name was Ariel and the name of her "prince" was Erica, which is straight outta Disney. But the thing that made me squeal with glee was that Ariel's best friend in this weirdo story is named Caliba, which, hello, has to be the author's feminized form of Caliban. Though, uh, Ariel and Caliban were hardly friends in The Tempest. I don't care! Shakespeare references everywhere!

All right, now that I've probably alienated my three readers, let's talk about something I know we all enjoy: Tina Fey. She is set to host Saturday Night Live on the twenty-third, which will be the first time I will watch SNL since she left, because the show totally sucks without her. In my head anyway--I don't exactly know that for a fact. I do know that "Weekend Update" sucks without her, because I watched one with Seth and Amy, and it was just painful. Poor Amy--she's funnier than that. Anyway, having Tina host will be totally awesome, because I used to watch SNL, hoping she'd be in a sketch and not just "Weekend Update," and usually she was just in "Weekend Update," but as the host, she'll be in, like, every sketch! Hooray! Although, if she's not in charge of writing them, how funny will they be? Well, we shall see, shan't we? It is Tina Fey, after all. Whatever she does is awesome. I wonder how weird it will be for her, just being there to act, since I know she thinks of herself as a writer more than an actor. Even though she stars in her own show.

I watched Across the Universe with Charles last night, and only one of us fell asleep! And it totally wasn't me. That should be how I judge movies: if I can't fall asleep during my first view of it, then it gets an A. Anyway, I did like it, but when did Evan Rachel Wood start sounding exactly like Kirsten Dunst? That was unsettling. Also! Dear Prudence was totally a lez! Her intro, singing "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" longingly to some blonde cheerleader, confused me, but then she was totally in love with Sexy Sadie and ended up with Lovely Rita, the contortionist--much better than meter maid, I'd say. Heh. I think my favorite part was "Hey Jude" at the end, because I've been singing "Hey Jude" since the film ended. Oh, and "I've Just Seen a Face" in the bowling alley, because it got all crazy, with the dancing and the bowling and the lights. Wee!

So I got distracted around the time Bono's Dr. Robert showed up to sing "I Am the Walrus," and then I saw him on a psychadelic bus, and I was like, "Is he...supposed to be Ken Kesey?" And then he said something about being a navigator, which was what Kesey was called among the Merry Pranksters--The Navigator--and then he said, "You're either on the bus or off the bus," and I was like, "Okay. Definitely Kesey." And then he disappeared. That was weird. And the whole Eddie Izzard Mr. Kite thing was rather disappointing--too bizarre for me. I was all, "When did they drink the kool-aid?" I totally missed the whole acid test portion of the film, but whatever. I don't like the acid trip stuff anyway. And I figured Jojo was supposed to be Hendrix-like, but who was Sadie? I would guess Janis, but I don't know.

Anyway, it was good. I don't usually take a shine to redoing Beatles songs, but I think this worked. I almost bought the soundtrack last night, but I need to chill on the crazy iTunes purchases.

I definitely write the worst film reviews ever. God only knows how I got an A in that film class I took. Oh, right, there were books involved.

August 28, 2007

Lighter fare

I hate how Disney trivia games always include, like, eighty questions about The Great Mouse Detective. Has anyone seen this movie?

Is Kelly Clarkson only playing shows in New York? Christ, woman, there are forty-nine other states. And perhaps Canada would appreciate a visit. I know, if I were Canada, that would be the truth. Thank god I have tickets to two other sure-to-be-amazing shows, just in case Kelly lets me down again.

"Throw It All Away" is the song playing when George and Meredith have the disastrous sex. Ew! Christ. God, remember how that went nowhere? Just like George and Izzie's disastrous sex should have? Damn you, Grey's Anatomy.

Should I buy the new Rilo Kiley album? I read somewhere on the internet that it was like "70s porn r&b as imagined by indie rock hipsters" or something (apologies to the person I stole that from--for stealing it and probably mangling it), and there was definitely one iTunes clip I heard that fit that description. However! Is that bad? I can't decide. That's what it was. "Breakin' Up" is the 70s porn music, and I gave it up when Jenny Lewis sang, "Is there trouble between you and I?" Oh, me and pronouns...

Here's a thing: when white people sing in Spanish, they over-enunciate. Not that my pronunciation is ever perfect, but I also don't try to sing in Spanish. So there. That, for some reason, reminded me of crazy Diana Ross telling some American Idol kid (Gina?) to make sure she pronunciated the lyrics to her song. That was fun.

Just because I haven't talked about her yet, here's another picture of Brandi Carlile wearing a Red Sox hat. This one Jess took! At the concert I didn't get to go to, because I wasn't stalking properly, and I didn't know about it, and I had to work all night. It's the same hat from that other picture (which is from last September), so perhaps she actually does enjoy the Red Sox. Or she just really likes making her Boston fans happy. I'm okay with either of those possibilities. I think this girl is my only blog topic that gets pictures. Damn you for being so pretty, Carlile. Oh, and how short is my memory? The third thing I talked about was her song being on Grey's Anatomy. Whaaaatever.

Okay, seriously, this girl is coming to Boston on October 5, and I'm just, like, living for that day alone. Nothing in between now and then matters. I want October 5 to get here as fast as possible. Ever since her show with the Indigo Girls at Hampton Beach I have been uncontrollably obsessed.

I bought the Rilo Kiley song "Silver Lining," because it is awesome. The jury is still out on whether I should fork over the nine other dollars to get the rest of the album, though.

June 27, 2007

Sharing

Here's a slightly embarrassing factlet. (I need a word for a small fact, since I recently discovered that's not what factoid means. Suggestions?) The most played song on my iTunes is "Belle," the opening song from Disney's Beauty and the Beast. It used to be "Never Again" by Kelly Clarkson, but I deleted that when I bought the album yesterday. Now "Never Again" only has 13 spins to its name, and it can't compete with the Disney songs. Those are the songs that have the highest playcount. The first non-Disney song on the top is "Candyman." So I was obsessed with it for a while. Whatever. Next is Joni Mitchell's "A Case of You," so that's at least not embarrassing.

Speaking of Beauty and the Beast, I just finished Robin McKinley's retelling of that tale, Beauty. It was magnificent. You know, I've never read any of the sources for all the Disney movies I love, just various retellings of them. That kind of makes me ashamed. Like, I haven't even read The Little Mermaid, and I know dissecting the differences between Hans's and Walt's (or Roy's, I guess) versions will be a geek orgasm. Why haven't I read this crap yet? I have no idea.

Anyway! That paragraph was supposed to be about Robin McKinley, who is brilliant, and whom I only just discovered two years ago, during my "read all the Newbery Award-winning books" summer. Her Newbery Award winner is The Hero and the Crown, which was exactly the kind of book I love: science-fiction/fantasy-ish with an unlikely female hero. Robin McKinley has a lot of female heroes. (I guess that should be heroines, but I really, really hate distinguishing between the sexes in nouns that can easily apply to both. So, whatevs.) Even in her retelling of the Robin Hood tales, she makes Marian an outlaw with Robin's legendary archery talent, instead of just some pretty lady who sympathizes with the Saxons. And then The Hero and the Crown had a prequel, which actually follows it in chronology, but McKinley wrote it first. I don't know. Whatever. I read The Hero and the Crown first, since that was the Newbery winner, but I wonder if The Blue Sword was supposed to be read first. Or if it matters since the stories take place hundreds of years apart. Whatever! They're both awesome, and I am sad that I did not read them when I was younger.