Oh my god, I saw a few seconds of the video for "The Way I Am," and it has a clown in it, and ah! Clowns are effing scary. Not because I'm, like, afraid of their murdering me in my sleep or because I saw It at an impressionable age or anything (I haven't seen It at all, actually), but because clowns are adults with full-on freak make-up on. Adults being balls out ridiculous, but not in the least amusing way. I don't know. Something about clowns is just not right.
However! I did discover that Ingrid Michaelson is rather cute--but definitely straight. Something about girls in glasses, man. I am weak for them. Remember the number two woman of my dreams, Miss Tina Fey? I think if Brandi Carlile's eyesight were ever to deteriorate, I might just faint.
The other night, Ryan told me that he, like, ran a list of my girl crushes for his lesbians at Simmons, and they disapproved of all of them. Katherine Heigl, the girl who made me gay, Jennifer Garner (who I forgot I even had a crush on until Ryan said he'd told them about her)--they said she looks like a horse! I think she's adorable--Kelly Clarkson (which I expected, since most people are not that impressed with her beauty. Whatever, bitches). I forget who else. I know I asked him about Tina, but I can't recall what he said. And then he said he didn't get my Brandi Carlile infatuation, and I almost stopped talking to him for the rest of my life. Hello! She is clearly the most beautiful human being ever. Ugh. I suppose I can't expect the gay mens to understand--but Mike thinks she's pretty. Anyway, maybe this is why I have such horrible luck with girls. The lesbians and I do not agree on anything. Other than Brandi Carlile--I don't need Ryan's lesbians to go crazy for her; I've seen enough lesbians go crazy for her firsthand.
My other, less important girl crushes:
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Famke Janssen
Keira Knightley
Mandy Moore, when she's a brunette
Winona Ryder
Alexis Bledel
Rachel McAdams, when she's a brunette
Rachael Ray
Is it just me? (I will understand if you don't get the Rachael Ray--oh, she was the other one. Ryan's lesbians hate her.) Do I have non-gay taste in girls? Sigh. Maybe I do, because we all know the lesbians go crazy for Angelina (and even some of the straight girls do), but I don't see it. At all. Straight girls, dykes, someone back me up on this. Please?
Girl crushes of yore:
Jewel Staite (if you even know who she is, we must be friends forever!)
Kate Winslet (if you remember her from A Kid in King Arthur's Court, you're as much of a nerd as I am!)
Sporty Spice
I feel like a loser for just bitching about retail during the Christmas season, and I even went so far as to delete some of those entries, but ugh. My life has been consumed by it.
Edited to add! Another girl crush of yore: Miss Carly Pope, who still is pretty for sure (just like Kate Winslet), but she no longer makes me crazy. And! Another girl crush of right now: Sara Ramirez, whom I can't believe I forgot, because I just talked about how she's hotter than Katherine Heigl, the girl who made me gay.
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4 comments:
I gave up a long time ago trying to make people understand what is so gorgeous about Brandi. I think you have to buy into her talent first, and that the beauty kind of is noticed afterwards. Maybe I'm wrong, but I didn't start noticing how attractive she was until after I fell in love with her music. I wouldn't say she's pretty in a stereotypical way, but I think she's great looking. In fact, my sister, who doesn't get the appeal of BCB at ALL. She said that she does not like THAT kind of music, as if it were some diseased animal or something. She saw Brandi's self-titled album the other day and thought it was a guy. Meh, whatever, she's the sexiest girl ever. My sister can continue to be ignorant :P
As for Rachel Ray... my dear child, there are few people that anger/annoy me more! I'm not even that familiar with her, but I have seen and heard enough of her forced EVOO shit to last a lifetime. You can keep her for herself! :)
I totally feel you on Tina Fey though. I love that girl too. But, once again, for me it's the scenario where I took notice after becoming obsessed with 30 Rock. Talent before beauty for me, perhaps. Now I just think she is the cutest thing ever. I love that she seems to talk out of one side of her mouth, cause well, I'm the same way.
For the record, I think it's hilarious that you love girls with glasses. I have Tina Fey glasses, which I avoid wearing at all costs. I am so f*cking myopic that it's a bit ridiculous, but I will do anything and everything to avoid wearing them.
Anyways, merry Christmas... I will go wreck havoc in the local Bath and Bodyworks (of which we have three in this city) by asking about Juniper Breeze on the 26th in your honor. And will continue to use emoticons to clutter my comment. :P :/ :)
Haha, seriously have a great Christmas Day.
Lord, I just re-read this and it sounds like a fifth grader wrote it. Sorry, once again this is why I should be banned from the computer after midnight. I still stand by the aforementioned statements, just ignore the sentence structure and grammar.
Heh, don't worry--your comment isn't any less articulate than my blog posts. The only thing fifth-grader-ish about it is the emoticons. So I'll feel free to ignore those.
I think I may agree with you about getting into Brandi's music before noticing that she's effing beautiful, because it did take a few months for me to, like, fall in love with her--as opposed to falling in love with her music. And it gets even worse as soon as you see her live. Now, I hate to speak ill of people I don't know, but your sister is clearly an idiot. Heh. Her loss, anyway. And what on earth does she mean by "THAT kind of music"? It's quality rock 'n roll that this girl and her boys play.
As for Tina, I've been in love with her for, like, five years, ever since I went to college and started watching Saturday Night Live again. And 30 Rock is so much better than "Weekend Update." I am so glad that other people watch it and love it. Also, she clearly started my thing for girls in glasses. I get upset when she doesn't wear them.
I know I'll never be able to explain Rachael Ray, but the crush did start when I was a junior in college, before she was so goddamn ubiquitous. (Do you have Dunkin' Donutses in Texas? People in New England haaaaate her Dunkin' Donuts commercials.) Plus, she makes some good food. But, yeah, that crush has chilled out some, now that she's ridiculously over-exposed.
Anyway, a very merry Christmas to you, my friend. And I bet if you asked for juniper breeze tomorrow, you'd get it, since we all have it hiding in our stock rooms now. So be careful what you wish for--that stuff is nasty.
think i found your blog searching for brandi carliles boy scout shirts :-)
just to say i agree with sporty spice, brandi carlile (am new fan), as for jewel staite, i've never so much fancied her, but i think she's really cute... and i met her last year and it made me think she's even cuter, cos she is very sweet.. also met her husband though.. boo!
am also a selective sci fi geek - whedon mostly, am currently re watching Dark angel. but i hated the film version of lion, witch and the wardrobe - the BBC here in england made a tv show back in the 80s that is just too much burned into my memory to consider anything superior to it.
anyway, interesting blog :-)
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