Don't make me get the hose!

There is a man at work who looks like Bob Hoskins! Or as I like to refer to him, Mr. Smee! I am well aware that Bob Hoskins has been in many a film, but for me, he will always be Mr. Smee, in the best Peter Pan movie ever: Hook.

"I've just had an apostrophe."
"I think you mean an epiphany."
"No. ... Lightning has just struck my brain."

If anyone had cared to ask my opinion, I would have suggested him for the role of Professor Slughorn in Half-Blood Prince, but no one did, so Jim Broadbent got the job. He does have experience playing a professor, anyway.

I don't know if you noticed, but I have rather unrefined taste in films. The last Oscar-nominated movie I saw, I think, was Chicago. I don't want films that make me, like, think. I don't want films that scare me or make me sad. I want films to entertain me. If I wanted to be, like, moved or to feel any kind of emotion, I would read a book. And I do. I read books frequently. Although, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire may have made me cry--shut up, it's awful when Harry drags Cedric's body back to Hogwarts, and his dad starts freaking out. More moving, though, is when Dumbledore says, "Cedric Diggory's death will not have been in vain." I think that's the part that made actual tears come. I am such a wuss. Okay, no wait, Brokeback won some Oscars, didn't it? And that made me sad and made me think and moved me. But guess what! It was based on a short story. Which I totally read first. So that was definitely the last serious film I saw, and I totally only saw it because I love the gays. (And I totally only read the story in preparation for seeing the movie. Whatever.)

The last movie I watched was Shrek 3. There was nothing intelligent about that film, but it entertained the crap out of me. Not as good as Shrek 2, but better than Shrek. I still have not read the story that served as the basis for these films (by William Steig), but I plan to. Some day. For now, I just bought myself a whole mess of books with my jar of change money (as an early Christmas present), and I've already plowed through two of them. Only three left! Okay, so I guess five isn't really "a whole mess," but it's more than I usually buy at once. And I imagine some family member or other (who I shall love forever) will be bestowing a Barnes & Noble gift card upon me this holiday season, and so I will be able to really buy a whole mess of books. I still haven't finished with Flannery or Homer, but they are slow going, y'all. Speaking of Homer, The Simpsons Movie comes out on DVD tomorrow! Another early Christmas present to myself? Or shall I ask someone to buy it for me? Decisions, decisions.

"He's not Spider Pig anymore. He's Harry Plopper."

I have bought Christmas gifts for my brothers and for Mike. Really, that just leaves my parents, since my other friends and I don't do Christmas presents (thank god, because I am the worst at picking out things for other people). My parents are impossible to shop for, so I usually just make my dad a batch of his favorite cookies and take them to his place on Christmas morning, but my mom doesn't like cookies--or baked goods of any kind--so I'm stuck. She said she wanted a yoga mat and a yoga video, and that means I actually have to go and look for these things, because I don't know where yoga paraphernalia hang out. (Is paraphernalia plural? It looks plural, but it sounds like one of those collective nouns--information, family, data--that we treat as singular in American English. Oh, whatever. I just bored myself.) The stores I frequent do not seem to carry yoga-related things--but the stores I frequent are Bath & Body Works (because they entice me there with the promise of a whopping $8 per hour of my time!) and Barnes & Noble. And Petsmart. Which reminds me! I am out of dry kitten food. And apparently, the cat needs to eat, like, every day. So needy.

Oh! "The Heartache Can Wait" is officially released on iTunes tomorrow, and even though I already ganked the mp3, I'll buy it. I am merely borrowing this unauthorized mp3 until I can get my hands on the legit copy, because, um, it's been, like, three weeks since they recorded it, and I could not have waited that long. But I will happily fork over my dollar, because this song--and supporting the band in any way I can--is totally worth it. I really wish I were going on one of those cruises in February. Jess would have come with me if we could have swung it. But she's spending her money on a trip to Texas, and I want to buy a new computer. Or a new car. Or maybe just a new iPod. (I don't need a new iPod, but I have such an issue resisting new and shiny things.)

Jess loves it when people talk about her, so I don't think she'll mind my reposting a facebook comment she left me here:

"I just watched that Turpentine vid, and I have several comments:
1) Brandi's eyes look incredible in that vid. The way they did the lighting or something.... but yeah, good job!
2) Ewwww! Why is she with a BOY! For some reason this vid disturbs me a bit.... I mean, a BOY!? WTF!? It would have been better if it were a girl.
3) Despite the fact that it's a boy (ahhhhh, a boy! I don't verk vit da males, 'cause I usedta BE one!), I found the ending incredibly adorable."

Other than the absence of a vest comment, it's pretty much exactly what I thought when I first watched it. And instead of a Mean Girls quote, she serves up a Mrs. Doubtfire quote, which is almost as good. You should hear Jess do that line, too--she's almost as good as Robin Williams. She's a comedic genius. Anyway, then I told her the song was about Brandi's brother, and she decided it was okay that there was a boy in the video. You should also hear her sing "Follow"--amazing. Heh. Although, if you were in the Orpheum lobby before the show, you probably did hear her, because she would not stop.

I hope that when I go home, I find that At World's End and Order of the Phoenix are waiting for me, because I don't have to work tonight, and a night of movies and kitten-cuddling sounds like bliss.