What did I tell you? If I bought a kitten, this would turn into a cat blog. I am now a crazy lesbian who likes her cat too much. At least I only have one. For now. And he's cute! So sue me.
Hey, so I finally accurately called the ending of a reality show! Of course, it was Shot at Love, so it's really nothing to be proud of, but two weeks ago, I bet the air in front of me ten bucks that Bobby would win, and the air in front of me has not paid up. That's what I get for making bets with things that are not even corporeal. So, hands up, who fell for MTV's attempt to make you think Tila suddenly changed her mind while making out with Bobby? Come on now. Not even she is that retarded. I can't believe MTV even tried. Also, she's a "singer/songwriter"? I indicate my disbelief with those quotation marks of sarcasm. Please. I believe model, but not singer/songwriter. Finally, could MTV be any more cliched? Lesbian love connection = Indigo Girls? At first, I kind of thought it was hilarious, their lack of imagination, but now I just find it gross. The Indigo Girls are too good for MTV reality trash. Of course, I still laughed all the way through "Least Complicated" last night--I don't take these things that seriously.
Some other fool across the ocean years ago
must have crashed his little airplane
If Brandi and the Indigo Girls were going to Texas, that would be a good excuse to go see Carlos--and drag him to the show. He likes the Indigo Girls a lot, though--and we played Amy Ray's solo album on Girly Sounds when it was in the add bin. And! We played a live version of "Shame on You" and totally forgot to censor that f-bomb Miss Ray drops. Whatever--I think that was when we had our radio show on, like, Sunday morning, and no one was listening. Jess told me she called him during Brandi's set at PC to get his butt down to wherever they were playing (where were they playing? the Alumni gym? Slavin lawn? I don't even know), convinced he'd love her, but I think he was just like, "Yeah, she's good." Oh, Carlos. I wonder if Josh was there. I'd think he'd have apprecianted that the girl tours with a cello player. However! Even if they were going to Texas, I kind of doubt they'd make it to El Paso--or anywhere near El Paso. Damn Texas is so huge. I'd have better luck dragging him to a show if they ended up in, like, Albuquerque. But is that any likelier than their appearing in El Paso?
Darker than night were the eyes of Felina
Wicked and evil while casting her spell
Do you know what I can't stand? (Many things, but here's just one.) When the phrase "all right" is written as one word: alright. It's not a word, people, just like "alot" is not a word. It's a phrase. Composed of two separate words. I also can't stand when people put apostrophes in plural words for no reason, like words is now word's. I hate that even more than your for you're. Seriously. Speaking of things I can't stand: why do people still use emoticons? They make me break out in hives. When I had a livejournal, my bio consisted of a quotation of a diatribe against emoticons lifted from the pages of Eats, Shoots & Leaves. Oh my god, I am such a nerd.
I don't wanna be the sober one
I don't wanna be your only one
Oh! And while we're still speaking of things I can't stand, let's move on to a lesser category: things that bug me--in songs, when a word is rhymed with itself. Avril Lavigne is the only perpetrator I can think of at the moment, because Carlos and I totally bonded over this issue while Jess made us listen to that song of hers that was on the radio senior year. I can't remember the name or any words or even the melody, but she rhymed a word with itself. And lately, it's happened in that Victoria's Secret commercial with the model babbling about the air bra or whatever the hell it is, and she rhymes air with itself. Hideous. The remedy for this is changing the word before the ending word and pronouncing them together, like they're one word that happens to rhyme with the word at the end of the preceding line. That makes it somewhat okay--because repetition can be necessary in a song or poem. I can't think of an example right now--those lines I spewed forth above don't really qualify, but they don't bug nearly as much as that Avril song or the Victoria's Secret commercial, because the repetition is necessary. Or I'm giving Brandi a pass. You decide.
I don't think most of that paragraph made any sense... Oh, well. Next bitch!
Speaking of next bitches, I bought Lizzy's album on cdbaby.com, and it's good. Weird like Lizzy--but good. Naturally, "Next Bitch" is still my fave. I miss when she would just hang around Dore, playing her guitar--once she even played Jen and me to sleep while we decided to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon. She's good peeps, Lizzy Picciallo is. Heh, and then another time, she, Carlos, Katrina, and I got baked at Katrina's house in the middle of the day, and we ate crunchy peanut butter sandwiches, and Carlos started freaking out in this way that was really hilarious, because I was too stoned to, like, decide if he was really freaking out or just being a doof. Drugs are bad for that boy.
That's not what I said
and that's not what I meant
To be honest
you lack substance
This quotes/lyrics in between paragraphs thing is probably not the new format for blog entries. It's just something I feel compelled to do right now. I have quotes and song lyrics tumbling around in my head at all times, and sometimes I just need to get them out.
I love it when snow has an ice covering, because the ground gets all smooth and shimmering, and then it's fun to, like, bust through it with your tattered Dr. Marten. It's also fun when it holds your weight, so you can walk on it gingerly, just waiting to fall through. Although that's more fun when someone's walking ahead of you, and he's the one who falls through. Whatever, people falling down is funny. I never said I went for highbrow humor. Or highbrow anything, for that matter.
We're livin' in a powder keg and givin' off sparks!
Those lyrics have nothing to do with anything, but "Total Eclipse of the Heart" is on the radio right now, and I love that line. So dramatic! You know what other song I forgot I loved? "Somebody to Love" by Queen. I heard it last night in my brother's car--my sixteen-year-old brother listens to classic rock stations. I suspect that this has something to do with Guitar Hero. (Also, is Guitar Hero hard? It sounds like the kind of video game I could get behind, but I have no sense of music timing and no finger coordination. So it's probably not hard, but it would be hard for me.) I should have asked for iTunes money for Christmas, because the way I sit at work downloading whatever song pops into my head gets expensive. (No I did not just download "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Hearing it on the radio is enough for me.)
Ever since I started bitching about the film version of The Golden Compass, people searching things related to it have stumbled upon here. I got two variations of "why did the master try to poison Lord Asriel?" and one about Mrs. Coulter and one: "who put the spyfly in the tin?" Well, to that last one, I say, intrepid googler, that that was Farder Coram. Now. Why did the Master try to poison Lord Asriel? That is a good question. Most likely because he thought that if Lord Asriel didn't set off for the North to, you know, build his bridge, he could prevent Lyra's destiny, because he loved Lyra and wanted to keep her safe. And clearly, the only way to stop Asriel is to kill him. But, um, if the alethiometer told him what was going to happen to Lyra, then it was going to happen. And it did happen, precisely because he tried to kill Lord Asriel. Oooh, fate is weird, innit?
By the way, none of you has predicted the future and told me the fate of The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass as films. I hate to say this, but I'm disappointed in all [three] of you.
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started lovin' you
I think this is in serious contention for best song title ever: "You're Pretty Good Looking (for a Girl)." I could never explain to you why I find the White Stripes' music so amazing--because I can't explain anything about music--but I love them so. Song titles like this just bolster the love some more.
If Ben Folds's audience participation bit in "Army" went head to head with Brandi and the boys' in "Turpentine," who would win? If the "Turpentine" bit went head to head with the "Not the Same" bit, Brandi and the boys would win, I think, but Ben's "Army" thing is so fun. Why is everything a competition for me?
When Canada is dead and gone, there'll be no more Celine Dion!
Forgive me if this is totally wrong, but I swear to god I heard Celine Dion singing "Feliz Navidad" on the radio yesterday, and now I'm too frightened to look it up and confirm. That song is awful enough as it is, but if Celine Dion is singing it? Shudder.
Speaking of Christmas music, though, I felt compelled to make a mix CD of songs that don't give me hives for the holidays:
1. "Welcome Christmas" - All the Whos down in Whoville
2. "Baby, It's Cold Outside" - Leon Redbone & Zooey Deschanel
3. "What's This?" - Danny Elfman (from The Nightmare Before Christmas)
4. "Donde esta Santa Claus?" - Guster
5. "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" - Barenaked Ladies & Sarah McLachlan
6. "I Saw Three Ships" - The Chieftains with Marianne Faithfull
7. "The First Noel/Mary, Mary" - Sarah McLachlan
8. "Spotlight on Christmas" - Rufus Wainwright
9. "2000 Miles" - The Pretenders
10. "Twelve Days of Christmas" - John Denver and the Muppets
11. "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" - Thurle Ravenscroft
12. "I Want an Alien for Christmas" - Fountains of Wayne
13. "All I Want for Christmas Is You" - Mariah Carey
14. "What Child Is This?" - Sarah McLachlan
15. "River" - Joni Mitchell
16. "Blue Christmas" - Bright Eyes
17. "The Heartache Can Wait" - some chick named Brandi
18. "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" - Martina Sorbara
19. "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" - Sixpence None the Richer
20. "One More Sleep 'Til Christmas" - Kermit the Frog
21. "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" - The Pretenders
Light on the Jesus, but I do still love some of the traditional songs. The best part of that Muppets' "Twelve Days of Christmas" is when they all join in for the "ba dum bum bum" after Miss Piggy wails "five goooooooold rings." I love it. (That's a good album title, right? No Hives for the Holidays? I'm a genius.)
Showing posts with label hdm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hdm. Show all posts
December 19, 2007
December 10, 2007
Book crises abound
I told Allison that the film adaptation of The Golden Compass hurt my soul, and she said, "I like that books are part of your soul. It gives you character." Snerf. She may have been making fun of me a little bit, and I may have exaggerated when I said that, but I think books are part of my soul. I certainly would not be who am I without all the books I've read. If I ever go blind, my life will be over. Um, until I learn Braille.
Well, The Golden Compass topped the box office this weekend, but it only did 26 million dollars. That's half of what it needed to do to be considered a success because of the enormous budget--allegedly: some bitch I saw on CNN the other morning said that it needed to do $50 million opening weekend. This is bad news, bears. And pretty pathetic compared to what The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and even The Chronicles of Narnia did on their various opening weekends. (I don't know why, but I was so surprised that I wasn't the only person in America dying to see The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.) His Dark Materials is a better series than all of those--except The Lord of the Rings, I guess. I mean, I love The Lord of the Rings, but Tolkein's writing is really not very accessible. Pullman's is. Rowling's is almost overly accessible. C.S. Lewis's is juuuust right. Also, the fact that I love both His Dark Materials and The Chronicles of Narnia is causing an epic struggle in my soul, because His Dark Materials is, like, a rebuttal of The Chronicles of Narnia, which Pullman called "religious propaganda." Sigh. You can't ignore the Christian themes in Narnia, but I don't know. I love it anyway. Hopefully, I can work out some way where I can love both of these series without having to fight with myself.
I'd really like to know, too, since The Golden Compass was barely hyped up (compared to these other fantasy franchises), how many people who haven't read the books actually went to see it. Mike and I both wanted to see it before even I'd read the books, but that's because we're kind of obsessed with movie trailers. And! Did the people who've read the books boycott it? God, I hope not. I know I was hard on it, but I think the movie has some merits. Maybe I am just saying this, because I want The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass, which is the best book, to be made into movies. They should have just filmed all three at once like The Lord of the Rings, but it would seem that that's the only trilogy that could have ever guaranteed that all three movies would be box office smash hits. Maybe they should have waited fifty years to make His Dark Materials, giving the nerds a real chance to get obsessed. (I don't really think that would have worked, but I just don't know what to do.)
Spoiler alert!
I wonder if the non-readers picked up on what might happen next, though, because Roger and Lyra won't stop saying, "We're in this together. Together. Togethertogethertogether" at the end of the film. I imagine most people would be like, "Hmm. Perhaps you're going to be separated," but I don't think anyone will be prepared for just how heartbreaking their separation is. I know I sure as fuck wasn't. When I was re-reading the book last week in preparation for seeing the movie, this line: "only Pantalaimon, shaking Salcilia [Roger's daemon] firmly, was able to keep Roger from shouting out and leaping up to greet his best friend, his comrade in arms, his Lyra" made me cry because now I knew what was coming. Roger would follow Lyra to hell without a second thought--and that's where she takes him, and it hurts my heart how that happens. But the best part is that she fucking follows him, eventually, in spite of the enormous pain it causes her and Pan, because Lyra is nothing if not loyal.
And, while I'm here, let me bitch about this: Mrs. Coulter telling Lyra that she's her mother irritated the piss out of me, because Mrs. Coulter never admits to being Lyra's mother (to Lyra) until The Amber Spyglass. I don't know if she even knows that Lyra knows. Clearly, I need to read the rest of the trilogy again. But anyway, I guess it's more dramatic the way it happens in the movie than just having John Faa tell Lyra, and it's nothing on my irritation scale compared to what happens next. While Mrs. Coulter is telling Lyra that she's her mother, Lyra has taken out the mother-fucking alethiometer to verify this information! What the hell? How on earth is Mrs. Coulter supposed to fall for the spyfly tin trick if you have the alethiometer in your hands right in front of her? When Mrs. Coulter tries to weasel the alethiometer away from her daughter, Lyra has it stashed away in the ceiling with her winter clothes. Because she is smart. And! Because the Master told her to keep the alethiometer secret--but most of all never to show it to Mrs. Coulter--and she does all she can to keep it away from that woman. She never, ever would have whipped it out in front of her. God, I can't believe I forgot to bitch about that until just now.
No more spoilers.
Who is doing the voiceover at the beginning of the film, by the way? Lyra as an adult? I effing hate the voiceover at the beginning of the film.
You know the thing that hooked me, though, on the book? The very beginning, when little British Lyra fucking hides in a wardrobe--and keeps the door open a crack because, of course, "it is very foolish to shut oneself up in any wardrobe." Or she wants to spy on the scholars some more, but whatever. Lyra is almost nothing like Lucy, though, but that doesn't matter. Both of their adventures begin because they've hidden in a wardrobe.
You know what I kind of want to know now? If Madeleine L'Engle had an opinion on His Dark Materials. She seems like the kind of religious person who could get behind Pullman's message, that dogmatism and oppression have got to go.
Um, more spoilers, all the way through the end of the trilogy:
Here's a thing: I've read some criticism that Pullman doesn't even broach the subject of Jesus in his retelling of Paradise Lost, and thus everything is simply too shallow (or some shit), but I would like to argue that Will and Lyra play the part of Jesus, descending into hell to free the souls trapped there. Seriously, when they're in the land of the dead, they even create a landslide, which is exactly what happened when Jesus went down there--according to Dante, anyway. Will and Lyra have conquered death, you see, just like Jesus did. SO SUCK ON THAT. They're even better than Jesus, because there's no need for a bloody fucking sacrifice--but they both make a huge sacrifice to be able to go to down to the land of the dead, just as hard, if not harder, than Jesus's giving himself up to the Roman soldiers. Then they have to make another sacrifice to keep the door out of the land of the dead open--but it's nothing compared to the first sacrifice they made. So Will and Lyra are not only Adam and Eve, but they are also the redeemers. Since there is no God in His Dark Materials, Pullman can't do a "son of God" thing, so I don't know how you can even list that as a criticism, but he does have characters who do what Jesus was sent to earth to do. Isn't that awesome, though? The characters who were viewed as the root of sin are actually the saviors of humanity. Come on! Philip Pullman, I could kiss you on the mouth. end of spoilers
Interestingly, it's not C.S. Lewis's Adam and Eve (King Frank and Queen Helen) who bring evil into brand new Narnia--it's Digory, who isn't an allegorical figure as far as I can tell. But I guess Digory still commits the original sin--then rectifies it (for a time--of course the Jesus lion has to rectify it for good a thousand years later) by picking (but not eating) an apple. Blarf. Original sin is ridiculous. However! Most of English literature has been influenced by the Bible, and if I just look at it as a bunch of stories and not the answer to life's questions, I can handle it. Most of the time. Like when Madeleine L'Engle retells the story of Noah and the flood in Many Waters--I love that. She's the greatest, Madeleine L'Engle is. Or was, I guess. Sigh.
Well, The Golden Compass topped the box office this weekend, but it only did 26 million dollars. That's half of what it needed to do to be considered a success because of the enormous budget--allegedly: some bitch I saw on CNN the other morning said that it needed to do $50 million opening weekend. This is bad news, bears. And pretty pathetic compared to what The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and even The Chronicles of Narnia did on their various opening weekends. (I don't know why, but I was so surprised that I wasn't the only person in America dying to see The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.) His Dark Materials is a better series than all of those--except The Lord of the Rings, I guess. I mean, I love The Lord of the Rings, but Tolkein's writing is really not very accessible. Pullman's is. Rowling's is almost overly accessible. C.S. Lewis's is juuuust right. Also, the fact that I love both His Dark Materials and The Chronicles of Narnia is causing an epic struggle in my soul, because His Dark Materials is, like, a rebuttal of The Chronicles of Narnia, which Pullman called "religious propaganda." Sigh. You can't ignore the Christian themes in Narnia, but I don't know. I love it anyway. Hopefully, I can work out some way where I can love both of these series without having to fight with myself.
I'd really like to know, too, since The Golden Compass was barely hyped up (compared to these other fantasy franchises), how many people who haven't read the books actually went to see it. Mike and I both wanted to see it before even I'd read the books, but that's because we're kind of obsessed with movie trailers. And! Did the people who've read the books boycott it? God, I hope not. I know I was hard on it, but I think the movie has some merits. Maybe I am just saying this, because I want The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass, which is the best book, to be made into movies. They should have just filmed all three at once like The Lord of the Rings, but it would seem that that's the only trilogy that could have ever guaranteed that all three movies would be box office smash hits. Maybe they should have waited fifty years to make His Dark Materials, giving the nerds a real chance to get obsessed. (I don't really think that would have worked, but I just don't know what to do.)
Spoiler alert!
I wonder if the non-readers picked up on what might happen next, though, because Roger and Lyra won't stop saying, "We're in this together. Together. Togethertogethertogether" at the end of the film. I imagine most people would be like, "Hmm. Perhaps you're going to be separated," but I don't think anyone will be prepared for just how heartbreaking their separation is. I know I sure as fuck wasn't. When I was re-reading the book last week in preparation for seeing the movie, this line: "only Pantalaimon, shaking Salcilia [Roger's daemon] firmly, was able to keep Roger from shouting out and leaping up to greet his best friend, his comrade in arms, his Lyra" made me cry because now I knew what was coming. Roger would follow Lyra to hell without a second thought--and that's where she takes him, and it hurts my heart how that happens. But the best part is that she fucking follows him, eventually, in spite of the enormous pain it causes her and Pan, because Lyra is nothing if not loyal.
And, while I'm here, let me bitch about this: Mrs. Coulter telling Lyra that she's her mother irritated the piss out of me, because Mrs. Coulter never admits to being Lyra's mother (to Lyra) until The Amber Spyglass. I don't know if she even knows that Lyra knows. Clearly, I need to read the rest of the trilogy again. But anyway, I guess it's more dramatic the way it happens in the movie than just having John Faa tell Lyra, and it's nothing on my irritation scale compared to what happens next. While Mrs. Coulter is telling Lyra that she's her mother, Lyra has taken out the mother-fucking alethiometer to verify this information! What the hell? How on earth is Mrs. Coulter supposed to fall for the spyfly tin trick if you have the alethiometer in your hands right in front of her? When Mrs. Coulter tries to weasel the alethiometer away from her daughter, Lyra has it stashed away in the ceiling with her winter clothes. Because she is smart. And! Because the Master told her to keep the alethiometer secret--but most of all never to show it to Mrs. Coulter--and she does all she can to keep it away from that woman. She never, ever would have whipped it out in front of her. God, I can't believe I forgot to bitch about that until just now.
No more spoilers.
Who is doing the voiceover at the beginning of the film, by the way? Lyra as an adult? I effing hate the voiceover at the beginning of the film.
You know the thing that hooked me, though, on the book? The very beginning, when little British Lyra fucking hides in a wardrobe--and keeps the door open a crack because, of course, "it is very foolish to shut oneself up in any wardrobe." Or she wants to spy on the scholars some more, but whatever. Lyra is almost nothing like Lucy, though, but that doesn't matter. Both of their adventures begin because they've hidden in a wardrobe.
You know what I kind of want to know now? If Madeleine L'Engle had an opinion on His Dark Materials. She seems like the kind of religious person who could get behind Pullman's message, that dogmatism and oppression have got to go.
Um, more spoilers, all the way through the end of the trilogy:
Here's a thing: I've read some criticism that Pullman doesn't even broach the subject of Jesus in his retelling of Paradise Lost, and thus everything is simply too shallow (or some shit), but I would like to argue that Will and Lyra play the part of Jesus, descending into hell to free the souls trapped there. Seriously, when they're in the land of the dead, they even create a landslide, which is exactly what happened when Jesus went down there--according to Dante, anyway. Will and Lyra have conquered death, you see, just like Jesus did. SO SUCK ON THAT. They're even better than Jesus, because there's no need for a bloody fucking sacrifice--but they both make a huge sacrifice to be able to go to down to the land of the dead, just as hard, if not harder, than Jesus's giving himself up to the Roman soldiers. Then they have to make another sacrifice to keep the door out of the land of the dead open--but it's nothing compared to the first sacrifice they made. So Will and Lyra are not only Adam and Eve, but they are also the redeemers. Since there is no God in His Dark Materials, Pullman can't do a "son of God" thing, so I don't know how you can even list that as a criticism, but he does have characters who do what Jesus was sent to earth to do. Isn't that awesome, though? The characters who were viewed as the root of sin are actually the saviors of humanity. Come on! Philip Pullman, I could kiss you on the mouth. end of spoilers
Interestingly, it's not C.S. Lewis's Adam and Eve (King Frank and Queen Helen) who bring evil into brand new Narnia--it's Digory, who isn't an allegorical figure as far as I can tell. But I guess Digory still commits the original sin--then rectifies it (for a time--of course the Jesus lion has to rectify it for good a thousand years later) by picking (but not eating) an apple. Blarf. Original sin is ridiculous. However! Most of English literature has been influenced by the Bible, and if I just look at it as a bunch of stories and not the answer to life's questions, I can handle it. Most of the time. Like when Madeleine L'Engle retells the story of Noah and the flood in Many Waters--I love that. She's the greatest, Madeleine L'Engle is. Or was, I guess. Sigh.
December 9, 2007
Maybe I am learning?
Well, that last post was barely articulate, huh? And perhaps I overreacted. The Neverending Story is a way worse adaptation, for real. How about I list a few things I liked about the movie, then?
The opening scene with Lyra, Roger, and the gyptian children. Lyra's story about the robe and showing how seriously these kids seem to take their wars were brilliant.
The spyfly scene: just as good as it was in the book. Suck on that, Marisa.
The environment the movie created was beautiful. I loved all the various vehicles, especially Lee's airship.
Hester. I fucking love Hester, and even though she was in the movie for five seconds, she was awesome.
Freddie Highmore did a perfect Pan voice. I kind of love this kid.
Serafina Pekkala sure was purty--and deadly. I have such a weakness for archers.
Sam Elliott is almost exactly as I pictured Lee.
I totally love the guy they picked to be Farder Coram. John Faa and Ma Costa were also well cast.
Oh! Here's something amazing: something I think the movie improved! When Lyra destroys Bolvangar in the book, she sets some flour on fire on the gas stove. In the movie, she makes the intercission machine explode. That was pretty badass--way more badass than setting flour on fire.
Here's something I couldn't stand in the movie: why on earth did Mrs. Coulter just come out and tell Lyra about the bear king's wanting a daemon? Explain that to me. No, really, do, because I can't figure it out.
More The Golden Compass and The Subtle Knife spoilers for you now:
Also, forget the fact that I just can't stand the end of the movie the way it is; I still don't understand how we're going to go from the Roger's death and Asriel and Marisa's reunion to Will in our London. There's no transition for that; that's why a whole new novel starts when we go to Will in London. The bridge can't be the transition, because it takes Asriel to his world and Lyra to Cittagazze. And Will doesn't tell Lyra anything about him--and the only thing the alethiometer tells her is that he's a murderer. (I love that, too, how she's, like, "Sweet. He's a murderer, just like my pops and Iorek Byrnison. No worries, then.") But I suppose the alethiometer could tell her more in the movie--and I suppose I would have to throw a fit about that. [end spoilers]
Mike kind of convinced me to, like, hold out hope for the other movies, but I hear that this movie is kind of tanking at the box office, so will they even make the other movies? And if they do, how will they deal with the religion thing? Satisfactorily? Doubtful. Sigh.
In a totally unrelated note, why would you cheat on Emma Thompson? That storyline of Love Actually always makes me so upset. Thank god Keira Knightley, Colin Firth, and Liam Neason's stepson are so cute.
The opening scene with Lyra, Roger, and the gyptian children. Lyra's story about the robe and showing how seriously these kids seem to take their wars were brilliant.
The spyfly scene: just as good as it was in the book. Suck on that, Marisa.
The environment the movie created was beautiful. I loved all the various vehicles, especially Lee's airship.
Hester. I fucking love Hester, and even though she was in the movie for five seconds, she was awesome.
Freddie Highmore did a perfect Pan voice. I kind of love this kid.
Serafina Pekkala sure was purty--and deadly. I have such a weakness for archers.
Sam Elliott is almost exactly as I pictured Lee.
I totally love the guy they picked to be Farder Coram. John Faa and Ma Costa were also well cast.
Oh! Here's something amazing: something I think the movie improved! When Lyra destroys Bolvangar in the book, she sets some flour on fire on the gas stove. In the movie, she makes the intercission machine explode. That was pretty badass--way more badass than setting flour on fire.
Here's something I couldn't stand in the movie: why on earth did Mrs. Coulter just come out and tell Lyra about the bear king's wanting a daemon? Explain that to me. No, really, do, because I can't figure it out.
More The Golden Compass and The Subtle Knife spoilers for you now:
Also, forget the fact that I just can't stand the end of the movie the way it is; I still don't understand how we're going to go from the Roger's death and Asriel and Marisa's reunion to Will in our London. There's no transition for that; that's why a whole new novel starts when we go to Will in London. The bridge can't be the transition, because it takes Asriel to his world and Lyra to Cittagazze. And Will doesn't tell Lyra anything about him--and the only thing the alethiometer tells her is that he's a murderer. (I love that, too, how she's, like, "Sweet. He's a murderer, just like my pops and Iorek Byrnison. No worries, then.") But I suppose the alethiometer could tell her more in the movie--and I suppose I would have to throw a fit about that. [end spoilers]
Mike kind of convinced me to, like, hold out hope for the other movies, but I hear that this movie is kind of tanking at the box office, so will they even make the other movies? And if they do, how will they deal with the religion thing? Satisfactorily? Doubtful. Sigh.
In a totally unrelated note, why would you cheat on Emma Thompson? That storyline of Love Actually always makes me so upset. Thank god Keira Knightley, Colin Firth, and Liam Neason's stepson are so cute.
December 8, 2007
I really will never learn
I have never been more disappointed in the film adaptation of a book I loved. Wait, did I say that about The Neverending Story already? Well, it's close between these two, then. Serious spoilers for both film and book versions of The Golden Compass follow. As well as spoilers for the other books in the His Dark Materials trilogy. Also, if you've seen the movie but not read the book (and you want to), please don't read any further, because the movie doesn't contain the ending of the book, and I don't want to give it away.
Okay, seriously, I even already knew that the ending to the film was wrong, but I was still shocked and outraged by what had been done when I actually saw it for myself. Because it's awful. It's just awful, what they've done to the book. This is one of those times when I wish I had seen the movie first and then been all, "I must now read the book!" because I have this serious problem, which I only became able to articulate when I took novels into film senior year (best class ever--and it was an honors credit): I cannot separate the movie from the book upon which it was based and discuss it as a separate piece of art--which it is. If I've read the book first, anyway--and, if I loved the book, it of course becomes more difficult.
And people, I love The Golden Compass. Let's start with the end, shall we? The end of the movie is everyone together in Lee's balloon, going off to save Lord Asriel. This could not be more different than the ending of the book: everyone's scattered; Roger's dead; and Lyra is totally and utterly on her own--except for Pan. I cannot believe they did not finish the story; Lord Asriel has not created his bridge; Lyra has not betrayed her best friend--what the fuck? I really don't understand how they could begin a movie with what was supposed to happen at the end of this one. Especially when the next installment begins in our world with a completely new character. And if we only find out what happened because Lyra tells Will or some shit, I will scream. This was one of the most heart-wrenching things ever: when Lyra realized just what, exactly, she had brought her father, and leaving it out just sucked any power out of the movie.
A lot of things they left out sucked out the power from the movie. Like the daemon connection--that barely came across in the movie. And, oh god, when Lyra finds Tony Makarios, and he keeps asking for his Ratter, and no one will go near him because to see a human without a daemon for them is like seeing someone without a head for us--it is so sad. And then when he dies! And Lyra scratches "Ratter" on a coin for him, trying to make sure that he and his daemon stay together in death--I totally cried. And that is not in the movie at all! When Lyra comes back with Billy (who plays the part of Tony for the film, I guess), everyone's just like, "It'll be okay, Billy. We'll get Ratter back" like seeing him without his daemon did not totally terrify them. And no! It will not be okay! He and his daemon are separated forever. Why did they leave that out? They left out the adults who'd had the intercission done, too, so we don't really know what Mrs. Coulter is trying to accomplish from just what we get in the film.
Okay, so second of all, the plot is totally out of order: in the movie, Lyra is taken to Svalbard when she's captured by the Samoyeds, which is just retarded, but I see that it had to be that way so that the movie could end the way stupid Chris Weitz wanted it to. And then when she goes to Bolvangar by herself and enters it willingly, it just makes no sense. You never really get to see just how cunning and resourceful she is, and that's a big part of why Lyra is so awesome. Anyway, since they did the bear part out of order, I guess I'll talk about how that was all wrong next.
I realize that things have to happen faster in a movie than they usually do in a book, but still, this thing with the bears happened way too fast. We didn't see any of how Iofur Rakinson (which is not the bear king's name in the movie, by the way, for no reason I can see--but I can't remember what they named him, so I'm just going to call him Iofur Rakinson) has been trying to turn the bears into humans--and that is exactly how Lyra is able to manipulate him and exactly how Iorek is able to defeat him. Because Iorek tells Lyra that is impossible to trick a bear, because bears are not like humans. But when bears act like humans, they can be tricked, Miss Lyra discovers. That is also why Iorek christens her Silvertongue--because she tricked a mother-fucking bear. He still calls her Silvertongue in the movie, but for no fucking reason, because we don't know that you cannot trick a bear. And, when he learns how Lyra has tricked Iofur, Iorek tricks him himself, pretending to be wounded to take the king off his guard--and ultimately defeating him. Also! They totally made up why Iorek was an exile--and how Iofur came to be king. Iorek never lost a single combat; he killed a bear, and that is why he was exiled. Oooh, ooh, this is also important, because it parallels him to Lord Asriel. He fought with another bear over a female and won, but the bear wouldn't back down, so Iorek killed him and was exiled. And Lord Asriel had an affair with Mrs. Coulter, and when Mr. Coulter found out and tried to kill Asriel, Asriel killed him and was exiled, basically. And Asriel and Iorek are the two male figures Lyra admires most in her life (until the very end of the novel), and these details are very important, okay? Argh.
Poor Serafina Pekkala did almost nothing in the movie, and that made me sad, but I don't feel the need to go any further than that.
I am very upset that Fra Pavell is in the movie--we don't meet him until The Subtle Knife, and then he is only given one specific job to do. And I am very upset that he tried to poison Lord Asriel, not the Master of Jordan College, because having the Master try to poison Asriel, who seems to be one of the good guys, just makes the whole thing more complex. Who is right and who is wrong? It's way too clear in the movie that the magesterium is evil, and those who oppose it are good.
Okay, so I didn't expect the religious parallels to be so evident as they are in the books, but they are utterly absent from the movie. How are they going to deal with what comes later, then? Because Lyra, Will, and Mary are ultimately recreating the story of Eve, Adam, and the serpent in the garden--and you cannot escape that. Lyra has a name that only the witches call her, and Mrs. Coulter goes through any lengths she can to learn this name, torturing witches, until one finally confesses that it is "Eve." Lyra is the second Mother Eve. Like, god damn, that's pretty serious. In the novel, Asriel tells Lyra that Mrs. Coulter and her ilk believe Dust to be the physical evidence of original sin, and that is why they want to do away with it. In the movie, Mrs. Coulter tells Lyra that a long, long time ago "some of our ancestors" made a very bad decision, and that is how Dust got into the world and started fucking everything up. Good god, how vague is that? But I guess when you're making a movie, you have to be vague, because the entire trilogy basically seems to exist to say that organized religion is a crock of shit--used by the few to keep the many submissive and weak. Which is Marxist, isn't it? And I love it. But you know that would offend all kinds of crazy bastards.
So. This was clearly a difficult movie to translate to film, and I did not expect it to be perfect, but shit, bitches, it wasn't even close. There are more things that just made me ill, but I can't think of them now. I'm sure I'll be writing about this for days.
Okay, seriously, I even already knew that the ending to the film was wrong, but I was still shocked and outraged by what had been done when I actually saw it for myself. Because it's awful. It's just awful, what they've done to the book. This is one of those times when I wish I had seen the movie first and then been all, "I must now read the book!" because I have this serious problem, which I only became able to articulate when I took novels into film senior year (best class ever--and it was an honors credit): I cannot separate the movie from the book upon which it was based and discuss it as a separate piece of art--which it is. If I've read the book first, anyway--and, if I loved the book, it of course becomes more difficult.
And people, I love The Golden Compass. Let's start with the end, shall we? The end of the movie is everyone together in Lee's balloon, going off to save Lord Asriel. This could not be more different than the ending of the book: everyone's scattered; Roger's dead; and Lyra is totally and utterly on her own--except for Pan. I cannot believe they did not finish the story; Lord Asriel has not created his bridge; Lyra has not betrayed her best friend--what the fuck? I really don't understand how they could begin a movie with what was supposed to happen at the end of this one. Especially when the next installment begins in our world with a completely new character. And if we only find out what happened because Lyra tells Will or some shit, I will scream. This was one of the most heart-wrenching things ever: when Lyra realized just what, exactly, she had brought her father, and leaving it out just sucked any power out of the movie.
A lot of things they left out sucked out the power from the movie. Like the daemon connection--that barely came across in the movie. And, oh god, when Lyra finds Tony Makarios, and he keeps asking for his Ratter, and no one will go near him because to see a human without a daemon for them is like seeing someone without a head for us--it is so sad. And then when he dies! And Lyra scratches "Ratter" on a coin for him, trying to make sure that he and his daemon stay together in death--I totally cried. And that is not in the movie at all! When Lyra comes back with Billy (who plays the part of Tony for the film, I guess), everyone's just like, "It'll be okay, Billy. We'll get Ratter back" like seeing him without his daemon did not totally terrify them. And no! It will not be okay! He and his daemon are separated forever. Why did they leave that out? They left out the adults who'd had the intercission done, too, so we don't really know what Mrs. Coulter is trying to accomplish from just what we get in the film.
Okay, so second of all, the plot is totally out of order: in the movie, Lyra is taken to Svalbard when she's captured by the Samoyeds, which is just retarded, but I see that it had to be that way so that the movie could end the way stupid Chris Weitz wanted it to. And then when she goes to Bolvangar by herself and enters it willingly, it just makes no sense. You never really get to see just how cunning and resourceful she is, and that's a big part of why Lyra is so awesome. Anyway, since they did the bear part out of order, I guess I'll talk about how that was all wrong next.
I realize that things have to happen faster in a movie than they usually do in a book, but still, this thing with the bears happened way too fast. We didn't see any of how Iofur Rakinson (which is not the bear king's name in the movie, by the way, for no reason I can see--but I can't remember what they named him, so I'm just going to call him Iofur Rakinson) has been trying to turn the bears into humans--and that is exactly how Lyra is able to manipulate him and exactly how Iorek is able to defeat him. Because Iorek tells Lyra that is impossible to trick a bear, because bears are not like humans. But when bears act like humans, they can be tricked, Miss Lyra discovers. That is also why Iorek christens her Silvertongue--because she tricked a mother-fucking bear. He still calls her Silvertongue in the movie, but for no fucking reason, because we don't know that you cannot trick a bear. And, when he learns how Lyra has tricked Iofur, Iorek tricks him himself, pretending to be wounded to take the king off his guard--and ultimately defeating him. Also! They totally made up why Iorek was an exile--and how Iofur came to be king. Iorek never lost a single combat; he killed a bear, and that is why he was exiled. Oooh, ooh, this is also important, because it parallels him to Lord Asriel. He fought with another bear over a female and won, but the bear wouldn't back down, so Iorek killed him and was exiled. And Lord Asriel had an affair with Mrs. Coulter, and when Mr. Coulter found out and tried to kill Asriel, Asriel killed him and was exiled, basically. And Asriel and Iorek are the two male figures Lyra admires most in her life (until the very end of the novel), and these details are very important, okay? Argh.
Poor Serafina Pekkala did almost nothing in the movie, and that made me sad, but I don't feel the need to go any further than that.
I am very upset that Fra Pavell is in the movie--we don't meet him until The Subtle Knife, and then he is only given one specific job to do. And I am very upset that he tried to poison Lord Asriel, not the Master of Jordan College, because having the Master try to poison Asriel, who seems to be one of the good guys, just makes the whole thing more complex. Who is right and who is wrong? It's way too clear in the movie that the magesterium is evil, and those who oppose it are good.
Okay, so I didn't expect the religious parallels to be so evident as they are in the books, but they are utterly absent from the movie. How are they going to deal with what comes later, then? Because Lyra, Will, and Mary are ultimately recreating the story of Eve, Adam, and the serpent in the garden--and you cannot escape that. Lyra has a name that only the witches call her, and Mrs. Coulter goes through any lengths she can to learn this name, torturing witches, until one finally confesses that it is "Eve." Lyra is the second Mother Eve. Like, god damn, that's pretty serious. In the novel, Asriel tells Lyra that Mrs. Coulter and her ilk believe Dust to be the physical evidence of original sin, and that is why they want to do away with it. In the movie, Mrs. Coulter tells Lyra that a long, long time ago "some of our ancestors" made a very bad decision, and that is how Dust got into the world and started fucking everything up. Good god, how vague is that? But I guess when you're making a movie, you have to be vague, because the entire trilogy basically seems to exist to say that organized religion is a crock of shit--used by the few to keep the many submissive and weak. Which is Marxist, isn't it? And I love it. But you know that would offend all kinds of crazy bastards.
So. This was clearly a difficult movie to translate to film, and I did not expect it to be perfect, but shit, bitches, it wasn't even close. There are more things that just made me ill, but I can't think of them now. I'm sure I'll be writing about this for days.
December 7, 2007
I'll never learn
This is a serious problem: "[Director Chris Weitz] stops short of the book’s actual ending in order to close on a more upbeat note, but the final fade-out seems abrupt and unfair; it’s unresolved, and there isn’t even a decent cliffhanger to entice you into the (hypothetical) next chapter." --from this review of The Golden Compass.
I have already been warned that the reviews are largely unkind, but I was still excited to see it. Now I feel sick. The ending of the book is the whole point of the entire god damn story. This book, anyway, where the whole point of the god damn story happens in the last two pages or so. Jesus Christ.
You know, I watched HBO's sneak peek of the film a few days ago, and I do remember thinking the director seemed like a giant putz, but they had interview clips with Philip Pullman! I was lulled into a false sense of security, thinking that the author had been somehow involved in the film-making--and thus approved of what had happened. I should know better than that, especially after the colossal disappointment of the film version of The Cider House Rules. John Irving wrote the screenplay himself, and it stank to high heaven. Okay, it didn't stink that bad, and that book was so long, it would have been impossible to make a movie that kept everything I loved about it in it. Still. Author involvement does not mean the movie's going to be good.
I have already been warned that the reviews are largely unkind, but I was still excited to see it. Now I feel sick. The ending of the book is the whole point of the entire god damn story. This book, anyway, where the whole point of the god damn story happens in the last two pages or so. Jesus Christ.
You know, I watched HBO's sneak peek of the film a few days ago, and I do remember thinking the director seemed like a giant putz, but they had interview clips with Philip Pullman! I was lulled into a false sense of security, thinking that the author had been somehow involved in the film-making--and thus approved of what had happened. I should know better than that, especially after the colossal disappointment of the film version of The Cider House Rules. John Irving wrote the screenplay himself, and it stank to high heaven. Okay, it didn't stink that bad, and that book was so long, it would have been impossible to make a movie that kept everything I loved about it in it. Still. Author involvement does not mean the movie's going to be good.
November 1, 2007
No more backyard rock stars howling at the moon
That damn girl and her band have another new song. Tim wrote this one. It's fucking beautiful. Instead of working right now, I'm trying to figure out lyrics. It's called "A Promise to Keep." Tim is awesome. This song reminds me, kind of, of "Hiding My Heart," which the magnificent Tim Hanseroth also wrote. You know, this girl would be so not as fun without the twins. I would still accept her by herself, because I love her, but the twins make everything amazing. Also, Josh. I love Josh.
Anyway, there's this line in the song: "I gave you the moon and the stars to keep, but you gave them back to me" that especially kills me. Seriously, it went right through my heart. Tim's words and her voice are a phenomenal combination. But let me tell you a secret: I like Tim's new songs better than hers. Don't tell her, okay? No, I totally love "Same Ol' You" and "Pride and Joy" as much as I love this one and "How These Days Grow Long." "Love Songs" and "That Year" are lovely as well, and I get a kick out of "I Write These Words," but "How These Days Grow Long" tops them all. Hooray for Tim.
Now, on to more distressing things. If the Red Sox lose Lowell and gain A-Rod, then I really don't know what I'll do. I couldn't be a Sox fan with him on the team. He's like poison. He's the best baseball player ever, blah, blah, blah, but that's not what's important to me. Mike Lowell is a great player, too, and he's all around awesome, as far as we can tell. Alex Rodriguez is a first class asshole. He belongs on the Yankees, hated not just by Sox fans, but by every other team's fans. I like when the team wins games as much as anyone, and hell yes, this World Series was fun, but I want to be able to like the team, you know? Even weirdo Manny appreciantes the fans. I'll keep him. But A-Rod is such a douche, gah. I still can't get over how he smacked Bronson Arroyo to get by him on the way to first base. Who does that? Who?
You know who will put up the money for Lowell if the Red Sox don't offer him a deal he likes? The fucking Yankees. Don't be another Damon, Mike, please. Even if Johnny pretty much crapped out after leaving the Red Sox (that's what you get, traitor). I'm going to hurl. I hate how important money is in these shenanigans. Mike Lowell deserves whatever he asks for, Theo. That is the truth. I am also happy that most of Red Sox Nation agrees with me. Keep A-Rod as far away from Boston as possible, thanks. I'd rather go another 86 years without a World Series title than have to cheer for him. I think the thing about him is that he doesn't know how to be a part of a team. This could just be me romanticizing things in Boston, but the Red Sox are a team. And I like that.
Maybe I'll just have to be an Orioles fan if this doesn't work out.
In other distressing news, have you seen this trailer for Alvin and the Chipmunks? Jeff and I were obsessed with Alvin and the Chipmunks when we were little. We must have seen that movie where they race the Chipettes around the world in hot air balloons (I know!), like, seventy-six times. I think my mom even made Jeff a shirt with a yellow 'A' on it--and we each had dolls: he, Alvin and I, Simon. (Always the nerd, I was.) But this movie looks terrible--like Alvin putting a piece of Theodore's shit in his mouth? What the hell! That's not even gross-out humor; that's just wrong. And Jason Lee as Dave? Although he does do a pretty good "Alvin!" yell. Maybe that's why he got the part. Still. It's all wrong. All, all wrong. In the movie, they look actual chipmunk-sized, but in the fabulous cartoon, they were kid-sized. Like overgrown chipmunks. I guess because this is live-action, they have to make it more realistic. That's hilarious. Singing, dancing chipmunks--let's make it more realistic. There's no way this will top the movie where they race around the globe in hot air balloons. Will I see it anyway? Maybe. But I didn't see the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, and I loved them when I was a kid.
Speaking of trailers, the latest for The Golden Compass is much more explicit in outlining the story, and I'm really not liking how reductive they seem to have made the plot. But it is only a trailer, after all. I am still crazy excited for this movie. And it comes out in a month! Hurrah. Also, the golden compass is not called the golden compass, ever, in the book. When Lyra sees it for the first time, she think it looks like a golden compass. Because it's not a compass; it's a motherfucking alethiometer. Get it right!
Anyway, there's this line in the song: "I gave you the moon and the stars to keep, but you gave them back to me" that especially kills me. Seriously, it went right through my heart. Tim's words and her voice are a phenomenal combination. But let me tell you a secret: I like Tim's new songs better than hers. Don't tell her, okay? No, I totally love "Same Ol' You" and "Pride and Joy" as much as I love this one and "How These Days Grow Long." "Love Songs" and "That Year" are lovely as well, and I get a kick out of "I Write These Words," but "How These Days Grow Long" tops them all. Hooray for Tim.
Now, on to more distressing things. If the Red Sox lose Lowell and gain A-Rod, then I really don't know what I'll do. I couldn't be a Sox fan with him on the team. He's like poison. He's the best baseball player ever, blah, blah, blah, but that's not what's important to me. Mike Lowell is a great player, too, and he's all around awesome, as far as we can tell. Alex Rodriguez is a first class asshole. He belongs on the Yankees, hated not just by Sox fans, but by every other team's fans. I like when the team wins games as much as anyone, and hell yes, this World Series was fun, but I want to be able to like the team, you know? Even weirdo Manny appreciantes the fans. I'll keep him. But A-Rod is such a douche, gah. I still can't get over how he smacked Bronson Arroyo to get by him on the way to first base. Who does that? Who?
You know who will put up the money for Lowell if the Red Sox don't offer him a deal he likes? The fucking Yankees. Don't be another Damon, Mike, please. Even if Johnny pretty much crapped out after leaving the Red Sox (that's what you get, traitor). I'm going to hurl. I hate how important money is in these shenanigans. Mike Lowell deserves whatever he asks for, Theo. That is the truth. I am also happy that most of Red Sox Nation agrees with me. Keep A-Rod as far away from Boston as possible, thanks. I'd rather go another 86 years without a World Series title than have to cheer for him. I think the thing about him is that he doesn't know how to be a part of a team. This could just be me romanticizing things in Boston, but the Red Sox are a team. And I like that.
Maybe I'll just have to be an Orioles fan if this doesn't work out.
In other distressing news, have you seen this trailer for Alvin and the Chipmunks? Jeff and I were obsessed with Alvin and the Chipmunks when we were little. We must have seen that movie where they race the Chipettes around the world in hot air balloons (I know!), like, seventy-six times. I think my mom even made Jeff a shirt with a yellow 'A' on it--and we each had dolls: he, Alvin and I, Simon. (Always the nerd, I was.) But this movie looks terrible--like Alvin putting a piece of Theodore's shit in his mouth? What the hell! That's not even gross-out humor; that's just wrong. And Jason Lee as Dave? Although he does do a pretty good "Alvin!" yell. Maybe that's why he got the part. Still. It's all wrong. All, all wrong. In the movie, they look actual chipmunk-sized, but in the fabulous cartoon, they were kid-sized. Like overgrown chipmunks. I guess because this is live-action, they have to make it more realistic. That's hilarious. Singing, dancing chipmunks--let's make it more realistic. There's no way this will top the movie where they race around the globe in hot air balloons. Will I see it anyway? Maybe. But I didn't see the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, and I loved them when I was a kid.
Speaking of trailers, the latest for The Golden Compass is much more explicit in outlining the story, and I'm really not liking how reductive they seem to have made the plot. But it is only a trailer, after all. I am still crazy excited for this movie. And it comes out in a month! Hurrah. Also, the golden compass is not called the golden compass, ever, in the book. When Lyra sees it for the first time, she think it looks like a golden compass. Because it's not a compass; it's a motherfucking alethiometer. Get it right!
August 1, 2007
Why I haven't reread Deathly Hallows yet
And I do want to, people. That one summer when I read all five Harry Potter books for the first time, I read them over and over again. I think, though, that was because I couldn't get a job that summer, so I was broke, and I was only twenty, and I had no other form of entertainment. When Half-Blood Prince came out, I was smack dab in the middle of the GNS of '05, so I read it, loaned it to Jess, and forgot about it. I think I re-read it at one point, and I kind of meant to re-read it this summer before Deathly Hallows, but I only got as far as Hermione sending canaries to attack Ron before I was, like, "Whatever, this book was not the greatest, I remember the important stuff, let me finish The Golden Compass." Which was better. And I didn't finish it until after I'd read Deathly Hallows, despite its being half the size (or less) than that behemoth. But anyway!
SPOILERS FOLLOW, beasts. You have been warned.
I haven't reread Deathly Hallows because it totally destroyed me. I resisted this stupid Harry Potter thing for so long (okay, five years), and then after I saw Prisoner of Azkaban, the book nerd inside was, like, "Um, if you enjoy these movies, you must read the books." So I did. And I couldn't stop. I couldn't! And I got so attached--to everyone but Harry. Even though I was weeping when he was talking to his dead parents and parent-figures, I still didn't really care what happened to him, specifically, just what would happen to his friends. I love his friends, and when Fred died, that was the end of me. End! Of! Me! I'd already teared up a few times before the Battle of Hogwarts, but once we lost Fred, I really just couldn't stop crying. So I can't read it again. I can't, even though there are plenty of things I missed in my haste to find out what the hell was going to happen.
Here's something I haven't said yet: I'm kind of disturbed that Harry just left the rest of the hallows where they fell. Like, what if someone finds the Resurrection Stone in the forest? It's not like no one goes in there. He could at least hide it.
Oh, and something Melissa had to point out to me: Harry and Voldemort are related, since they are allegedly both descended from a Peverell brother. Although, all those pure-blood wizard families are related to each other, blargh. Inbreeding. This is why you need the Muggle-borns, to infuse some variety into the magic gene pool.
Here's something I've never understood: Muggle-borns must be sports, right--and squibs too--so you probably wouldn't have more than one witch or wizard born to a Muggle family for several generations, right? You'd think? I'd think. But Colin Creevey's little brother was also a wizard. And Teddy Lupin was a Metamorphmagus, so obviously Jo's not really thinking about genetics. But I am! These are the kinds of things I think about, because I am queen of the nerds. Sigh.
So I also haven't re-read Deathly Hallows because I have so many other books to read that I have no time for re-reading. Except I'm totally making my way through the Little House books again, reading a few chapters before I go to sleep. Whatever, they're really good "before bed" reading. I need to finish His Dark Materials, because I love it so much it's making me insane. And it started a fight with me and Mike, because he saw the trailer for The Golden Compass, and he wants to see it, and I was, like, "Did you read the book?" which was stupid, because the answer to that question from most people is always no. Who reads anymore? Sigh. So I was teasing him about how he's illiterate or whatever, and I asked him what the last book he read was, and he couldn't remember. And I felt sad, and he got all defensive, and I was like, "Forget it! Get out of my car! Loveyabye!" I wonder if I gave him The Golden Compass if he would read it. The movie doesn't come out till December--he'd have four months.
SPOILERS FOLLOW, beasts. You have been warned.
I haven't reread Deathly Hallows because it totally destroyed me. I resisted this stupid Harry Potter thing for so long (okay, five years), and then after I saw Prisoner of Azkaban, the book nerd inside was, like, "Um, if you enjoy these movies, you must read the books." So I did. And I couldn't stop. I couldn't! And I got so attached--to everyone but Harry. Even though I was weeping when he was talking to his dead parents and parent-figures, I still didn't really care what happened to him, specifically, just what would happen to his friends. I love his friends, and when Fred died, that was the end of me. End! Of! Me! I'd already teared up a few times before the Battle of Hogwarts, but once we lost Fred, I really just couldn't stop crying. So I can't read it again. I can't, even though there are plenty of things I missed in my haste to find out what the hell was going to happen.
Here's something I haven't said yet: I'm kind of disturbed that Harry just left the rest of the hallows where they fell. Like, what if someone finds the Resurrection Stone in the forest? It's not like no one goes in there. He could at least hide it.
Oh, and something Melissa had to point out to me: Harry and Voldemort are related, since they are allegedly both descended from a Peverell brother. Although, all those pure-blood wizard families are related to each other, blargh. Inbreeding. This is why you need the Muggle-borns, to infuse some variety into the magic gene pool.
Here's something I've never understood: Muggle-borns must be sports, right--and squibs too--so you probably wouldn't have more than one witch or wizard born to a Muggle family for several generations, right? You'd think? I'd think. But Colin Creevey's little brother was also a wizard. And Teddy Lupin was a Metamorphmagus, so obviously Jo's not really thinking about genetics. But I am! These are the kinds of things I think about, because I am queen of the nerds. Sigh.
So I also haven't re-read Deathly Hallows because I have so many other books to read that I have no time for re-reading. Except I'm totally making my way through the Little House books again, reading a few chapters before I go to sleep. Whatever, they're really good "before bed" reading. I need to finish His Dark Materials, because I love it so much it's making me insane. And it started a fight with me and Mike, because he saw the trailer for The Golden Compass, and he wants to see it, and I was, like, "Did you read the book?" which was stupid, because the answer to that question from most people is always no. Who reads anymore? Sigh. So I was teasing him about how he's illiterate or whatever, and I asked him what the last book he read was, and he couldn't remember. And I felt sad, and he got all defensive, and I was like, "Forget it! Get out of my car! Loveyabye!" I wonder if I gave him The Golden Compass if he would read it. The movie doesn't come out till December--he'd have four months.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
