Who're Enrique and Ricardo?

TV sucked last night. No lesbians on Cashmere Mafia--well, not no lesbians, but, like, five seconds of lesbians, and the one lesbian scene was a hideous cliche which just made my teeth hurt. Seriously? Asking someone you've just met where she's gonna get her donor sperm? Lesbians don't act like that, christ. We're not obsessed with moving in together and starting a family and being all committed and shit; lesbians are all about immediately moving in together and getting some cats. Get it right.

That wasn't as funny as I thought it would be.

Fuckin' Ricky won a challenge last night. Fuckin' Ricky! I just want him off the show because I can't stand looking at him. He shouldn't have taken that hit for Kit--their failure was her fault--but I hate him entirely separately from that debacle. The blubbering and the stupid hats and the outlasting Kit. Okay, maybe not entirely separately. He is worse than Andrae with the meltdowns every week, jeez. I know he probably hasn't slept in a month, but keep it together, guy. Also, Christian's outfit was more interesting--uglier, but far more interesting--and Sweet P should have won. Okay? Sweet! P! In a non-Ricky note, I watched Bravo's online preview for last night's episode at work yesterday, and as soon as Victorya started talking about her mother, I was like, "So long, Victorya!" It's kind of a rip if you know who's going home before the episode even airs.

This season is so weird because I am not attached to anyone. And no one is funny like Jay or Santino. Bah. I do like Chris a lot though. But I am so done with Rami. His avant-garde look was a mess last week, too, and he was a jerk. Kit's look was a mess, but she wasn't a jerk. Kit wins! Stupid Rami. Stupid judges!

You know who else breaks my rule for blonde girls in glasses? Rachael Harris, who used to be on The Daily Show and then all those VH1 specials and has now been relegated to doing commercials for those 100 calorie snack pack things. What the hell happened? She's funny. And pretty. Put her in something other than a stupid commercial!

So that's three:
Rachael Harris
Jillian's model
that girl at the gas station

No one's hotter than Tina Fey, though.

So let's talk about books. I finished The Night Watch the other day, and I've gotta say it's, like, miles ahead of Tipping the Velvet and Fingersmith. Maybe because it doesn't take place in Victorian England, but WWII England. Aha! The twentieth century. Much better. Sarah Waters keeps getting compared to Dickens, but she has an editor, so none of her words are needless, which is my primary issue with Dickens--too many goddamn words that aren't doing anything to advance the plot or provide character insight. They're just there, being words. John Irving gets this comparison, too. John Irving and Sarah Waters are like the best of Charles Dickens, plus a lot more sex. (And by a lot more, I mean, there is sex in these novels at all.) Even better: lesbian sex. Even, even better: John Irving includes lesbian sex in his novels, too. (Not as graphically as Waters, but you know. It's there.) Two of them. I think. Anyway!

The Night Watch is told backwards, starting in 1947, then going back to 1944, then ending with the beginning of these characters' stories in 1941. This is the kind of gimmick that could drive me mad, but it's not a gimmick in Waters's hands, more of a conceit, if you will, and she uses it perfectly. It was fascinating to read a story backwards and then make all the connections and try to figure things out as you went back--and it could have very easily been seizure-inducing. This woman knows how to tell a story. Four stars.

Top ten Project Runway contestants!*
1. Uli Herzner
2. Jay McCarroll
3. Allison Kelly
4. Santino Rice
5. Daniel Vosovic (the boy did his own version of "Part of Your World" for his audition video--if he'd been a girl, that would have rocketed him to the top of this list)
6. Kara Saun
7. Austin Scarlett
8. Kit "Pistol" Scarbo
9. Chloe Dao
10. Robert Best
*This list has nothing to do with clothes, just how much I enjoyed watching them on tv.