What is this, a skittle?

Oh my god, winter coats can be so warm! It was frigid outside today, and I didn't even feel it except in my face. I totally forgot. My coat, military-inspired though it may be, is super awesome. So much better than a zippered hoodie. And, you know, as much as I hate the idea of a standing army/navy/whatever, I kind of have a thing for girls in uniform. Not slutty Catholic school uniforms--I'm not a perv, and I went to Catholic school, so. Not impressed. Anyway, there's the one girl in that "the few, the proud, the Marines" commercial, and I kind of have a crush on her. And then there was this lady cop evacuating Liberty Island when we were there this summer, and I was like, "Oh. I like her," and my roommates were like, "Oh, Christ, let's go already, you big lez." (Total paraphrasing, because the good little Catholic girls don't say "oh, Christ," and it's one of my favorite interjections, especially when I'm around them. I'm an insensitive asshole, what can I say? Was that redundant? "Insensitive asshole"?)

I'm so sad since you went away.

Ugh, so I watched, like, ten minutes of American Idol yesterday, and it was so ugly. Then Liz demanded that I meet her for drinks, so I did. That was way better than the rest of American Idol. And apparently Jess is already in love with some guy who auditioned last night. I liked it better when she was in love with Hot Pants Scarnato.

Oh! The funny thing Jillian did last week was make fun of Kit Pistol! I can't remember how Kit reacted to that; I hope she wasn't all rankled. Then I would have to love her less. Runway is on toniiiiiiight, and I don't have to woooork. The less fabulous Cashmere Mafia is on tonight, too, but I still want to know what's up with Caitlin, the maybe-lesbian. I don't get Showtime, okay? This is all I get for gay girls on tv. There are never any lesbians on Project Runway. Or American Idol.

Do you say something in your comedy that Clay might be gay?

Seriously, Kelly Clarkson--no wait. Nikki McKibbin was the gayest girl on that show, but she had a kid, so... Not totally gay. I don't actually think Kelly's a lesbian, but she is a little bit gay: terrible luck with men, girlcrush on Angelina, some kind of thing for Melissa Etheridge, loves The Story... Oh! And in that video where Kelly says she's been listening to Brandi, she also says she thinks Sarah Silverman is hilarious, which is something I would not have expected from her. Kelly Clarkson is cooler than even I thought. Sarah Silverman is hilarious but also horrifying, so I go back and forth on her.

And by "Jap," I mean "Japanese."

I miss Mike. We hung out Friday night, but that's not enough. What are we doing with our lives?

I keep meaning to go to the library to get Stardust (movies at the library are free!), but it's all downtown and stuff, and when I leave work, I just want to go right home. For someone who loves books so effin' much, I probably haven't been to the library enough. I think the last time I was there was 2005, when I was reading all the Newbery-award winners. But that's because I compulsively buy books. Going to the library would be rather cheaper...

Mike Huckabee continues to horrify me. The Constitution of the United States of America should have absolutely nothing to do with what one person believes is God's word or whatever. Okay, I know there are terrifying numbers of people who agree with Mike Huckabee's beliefs about God, but those beliefs have no place in government. The right to a safe abortion cannot be denied based upon religious beliefs. Homosexuals cannot be denied the same rights as heterosexuals because somebody's stupid religion says homosexuality is a sin. They cannot be denied rights for any reason other than the reasons that heterosexuals are denied rights (committing crimes). But that's what Mike Huckabee wants to do: to amend the Constitution to take away a woman's reproductive rights and to deny gay people even the possibility of enjoying the same rights and privileges as straight people, because he thinks that's what God wants. The laws of men have nothing to do with the alleged laws of an alleged god, because in this country, everyone can believe something different about God. If Mike Huckabee even wins the nomination, we will become even closer to becoming a theocracy.

And I will move to Canada. Allison, start looking for a two-bedroom, huh?

Sorry for that awkward political rant, but ugh. This guy makes me sick to be an American.

Let's talk about girls, shall we? Except I kind of have nothing new to report. Brandi and the Indigo Girls still aren't coming to New England--neither are Kelly Clarkson and Reba McEntire, for that matter--and 30 Rock is done until the writers' strike is resolved. How much does this thing suck? Not for me or you, but for the writers, who all really, really just want to go back to work. Of course it sucks for us, too, but I am trying to think about someone other than myself for once. You know? I heard it was good for the soul. Fortunately, I have "Midnight Train to Georgia" to sustain me until Tina Fey returns to her rightful place on network television.

It was an 11:45, and I was misinformed about the time.

I haven't seen a show since Kelly at the Orpheum, and I need a concert to attend. No one I like is touring. Bah.