A little TMI, maybe

I would just like to make this clear, for my own peace of mind: I don't fall in love with girls who wear glasses because I myself wear glasses and happen to have a narcissist complex (even though both of those things may be true). I wear glasses, because contacts freak me the fuck out, and if I don't wear glasses, I look...how shall we say this? Simple. I fall in love with other girls who wear glasses because Tina Fey put a spell on my soul. There. I totally needed to get that off my chest. Also, glasses don't work for blondes. The end!

While we're talking about me, let me go on to say that I have a horrible habit of biting my fingernails. I hate it when they get long, and I don't have the patience to, like, cut them, so I just bite them. Anyway, the nail of the middle finger on my left hand was gettin' long, so I chomped it this morning, and there was, like, some fiery Tobasco sauce remnant of death lodged underneath it or something, because as soon as I chomped, I couldn't feel my tongue. However, that did not stop me from continuing the chomping until the nail was the right length. Gross, huh?

Whenever I'm alone, I sing Tim's part of the "Turpentine" harmonies. Loudly. I may or may not have scared the cat. More than once.

Now that I've been thinking about it for, like, a whole day, I kind of want to marry who- or whatever wrote that spam and thought "festive" would be a seduce-y type of adjective. I wanted to say something like "Brandi Carlile is so fucking festive, I can't stand it," but I laughed (out loud, at work) before I could even type it, so I had to present it that way, in quotes, so I could even get it out of my system.

Um, not too many thoughts today. I am all out of lesbian television observations, and I haven't talked to Allison since Sunday night. Brandi Carlile hasn't done anything new. I don't want to get all political, because I end up getting all worked up and bitter, but I will say this: vote this month, bitches! Just don't vote for Mike Huckabee. He skeeves me right out of this world.

Speaking of right out of this world, the first time I read that information about Mars and Jupiter and whatever also getting warmer, my first thought was not, "Huh. That's weird," but rather, "Oh my god. We've done so much damage we've fucked up the entire solar system." Um, not so much, I know, but you can see I have a really high opinion of the human race these days.

So I finally, like, caved and bought an actual winter coat, because I apparently live in an area of the country where it, like, gets cold for four months of the year (at least), and now it's sixty degrees outside. I don't know what kind of brain meltdown I had that let me decide to buy something with "military inspired details," but my pacifist ass still likes the coat even after I recovered from the meltdown and looked at it again. Also, I hate winter coats, because they're all big and bulky and shit, and this was definitely the most wearable. It's probably not even what any self-respecting New England-er would call a winter coat, but it is warmer than the red zip-up hoodie I've been wearing.

You know, right after I wrote that thing about glasses on blondes not doing anything for me, I almost immediately found a blonde girl in glasses. She was pumping gas beside me, and I looked up, and I was like, "Dammit!"

Um, I guess I had more thoughts than I, um, thought.