Resistance is futile

All right, I caved. I have become a lesbian cliche in a new way.

I have a crush on Katee Sackoff.

Things I notice

Look at this picture!
This is the new intern who's totally going to ruin Callie and Hahn's romance. She looks like Regina George, and she totally has Ariel's voice in that seashell around her neck!

See? Evil!

A list

1. New England Aquarium & Union Oyster House
2. batting cages (locate indoor ones in New Hampshire)
3. Zoolander
4. meatballs
5. Julie Andrews
6. Battlestar Galactica
7. unwise purchases at certain clothing and/or lotion stores

Items will be added as needed. Hopefully, nothing needs be subtracted. Suggestions welcome.

Why I shouldn't ever know what's coming on a television show

Oh, good, Callie's still running around on Hahn. It would be one thing if she were upfront with the fact that she's still sleeping with Sloane, but Erica has no idea.

And it is going to crush her when she finds out.

And then she's going to bang that new intern.

Stupid!

So let her be a lesibaaaaaaan

Wait, wait, wait. Callie's the one who was bad at going down, and Erica was the one who enjoyed the sex?

HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?

Unless Callie wasn't necessarily...bad...she just felt weird about the whole thing? Or Erica has never had sex with anyone before? Like, really! She cannot be this dumb. She can't!

Also, if you feel weird about, you know, your head in between another lady's legs, take it slow. Start with fingers! There are so many ways to have sex. Sheesh.

And! Going to Sloane for a demonstration? That is so fucking weird. I mean, even if he were another lady, it's still weird, because Callie is still having sex with someone so she can have better sex with Erica.

That's weird. And I just hope Erica doesn't find out about it. Because she will not react well, even if they are taking things slow and, you know, not going steady. She hates Sloane, and the girl she likes is still sleeping with him!

Oh. She is going to find out.

However! The lesbians got to have inappropriate sex in the on-call room! Just like everyone else. So yay for equal opportunity unprofessionalism.

But mostly yay for Sara Ramirez in a bra.

I am at my wits' end with this woman

I read a thing on the internet the other day that said Sarah Palin actually asked women to vote for McCain because he picked a lady as his vice president, and Obama didn't. Really? REALLY? First of all, that's just as sexist as Joe Biden telling dudes to vote for Obama, because McCain's got a little lady on his ticket. Oh yes it is. Secondly, so what if Obama didn't pick Hillary Clinton as his vice president? That has no bearing whatsoever on his opinion of women. For whatever reason, he and his advisers decided Hillary Clinton was not the right vice presidential candidate, and I would bet my next seven paychecks that her gender had nothing to do with it.

As a matter of fact, I would say (boldly) that Senator Obama has a much higher opinion of women than you do, Governor. He would not strip us of our reproductive rights, and he would not support a Constitutional Amendment to prevent us from marrying each other. He also supports equal pay for equal work, which your running mate does not. And I am not one hundred percent positive on this, because I've not heard him say it, but I would bet seven more paychecks that he would never support legislation requiring rape victims to pay for their own rape kits.

How can you say a vote for McCain is a vote for women? How?

Nits, picked

Oh, boogers. The recapper at Television Without Pity makes a good point: How on earth could Hahn fail to pick up on Callie's utter terrifiedness about getting serious? Heart surgeons are supposed to be smart! And I know she made that confession about being socially awkward and weird (which made me fall in love with her), but unless she has, like, Asperger's she should be able to see that Callie has some extreme reservations about getting intimate with a lady. Even though Callie's the one who made the move in the first place...

Though that happens on tv all the time, doesn't it? A character has hesitations, and it's made obvious to the audience, but whoever the character's interacting with is totally oblivious.

Oh well. All this unlikeliness made the restaurant scene possible, so I will overlook it. But, you know, still complain about it.

Because if I can't pick apart the things I like, then why bother liking them? I have a terrible habit of, like, looking for things to criticize, even in things I love. Like Grey's. Or musical retellings of novels. Or, you know, Brandi Carlile's dubious intelligence. The only thing I've never done this with is, uh, 30 Rock.

I LOVE YOU TINA FEY.

Below the Mason-Dixon Line...of your pants!

So. Last night was madness. I kind of got discouraged with the baseball game, so I started watching Grey's, only checking in at the commercials and getting more discouraged. All the magic happened after Grey's anyway.

But let's talk about Grey's, because I really have no words for the baseball. Except. This is how it's done in Boston. Unbelievable comebacks in the ALCS and then sweeping the World Series. But first! One game at a time. And I still believe Josh Beckett can get it done. Yes I do. Last year's ALCS MVP will not let us down.

Okay. Grey's. I already forced Allison to listen to a crazed rant about how they don't give the lesbians enough screen time, like, at all, so...I'll drop that and talk about how much I love Hahn. Like, really. Before we even get into the gay stuff, let's talk about how she threatened to cut Meredith's heart out of her chest with a steak knife. Oh hell yes she did. I watched that three times, which means I may have liked it even more than the gay stuff.

But not really. Because Hahn was so damn adorable last night, asking Callie out on a date in this manner: "restaurant, candelight, bottle of wine...at the end of the night I try to take your clothes off." That's exactly how I think! Although I unfortunately have never asked a girl out this way. When I get my next opportunity, you bet I will! I don't really get why Callie is so neurotic about all this, though. I mean, I understand being a little anxious about what happens when the clothes come off, but... You're not there yet! Worry about that when you get there! But then it does allow Hahn to be all sweet and calm her down, and the way Callie looks at her after she reassures her... Oh man. It's so perfect.

And then mooning over Callie in the elevator and just bein' so sweet the whole time. And once again, these are two people who can actually talk to each other when they're having doubts or feeling anxious or whatever. Callie spends the episode freaking out, but she eventually spills, and Erica listens to her and reassures her. And that is when Callie realizes that Dr. Hahn is perfect!

I am going to be so mad when they break up.

Also, as much as I love Dr. Hahn, it still must be said: no one will ever, ever, ever be more awesome than Dr. Bailey. The end.

Lost

Last year, when the Red Sox were in this exact situation, down 3-1 in the ALCS, Josh Beckett had the ball for the do or die game 5, and I had no doubts whatsoever that he would keep them in it. Josh Beckett has failed twice this post-season. Like, spectacularly. And it's not even him with the ball this time. I don't know what to do.

Back to back World Series wins would be fantastic. You know the last time that happened? 1915 and 1916. Although, at least it has happened in Red Sox history, I suppose. Losing to the Rays would be kind of embarrassing, despite the fact that they're clearly on fire this year. Still. They were the worst team in Major League Baseball last season, and Boston was, ostensibly, the best. You know, since they won the World Series.

Worst of all, it seems like the fans just don't care this year. I am beginning to include myself in this. I don't know. The curse is gone, and now we're all complacent? It's just baseball? Boston is not a town that says, "It's just baseball."

Fix it, Daisuke.

Spooked

Forgive me for this rant, but all the news that supporters of Proposition 8 are gaining ground has really freaked me out. Like, really.

I don't personally know anyone who lives in California, except my dad's younger sister, but I'm not sure how to broach the subject with her--however I am hopeful she's opposed to Proposition 8. Anyway, I am almost more worried about whether or not California--the alleged haven of liberal hippies--amends their constitution to ban the gay marriages it just legalized than I am about whether or not Sarah (motherfucking) Palin becomes this country's first female vice president.

Listen. The California Supreme Court's decision on gay marriage was, like, fucking landmark, okay? Because it equated a person's sexuality with her race or gender or religion. Just as the governments of this country cannot discriminate against people based on those things, neither can they discriminate against people based upon their sexuality. That's what the legality of gay marriage is about: stamping out discrimination against one group of people for something that is as unchangeable as race or gender--and as little of the government's business as religious beliefs.

I just do not understand how, in this country, where one of our most prized founding documents proclaims all men created equal, there are so many fucking people who think it's perfectly fine--no, not just fine, but necessary--to make sure certain American citizens are relegated to permanent second-class status. This is not about whether you think butt sex is a sin. This is not about the "sanctity of marriage." That doesn't exist--and it never has. Why are we pretending that marriage is sacred? That people don't cheat and divorce and all that? I mean, ideally, sure, marriages are supposed to be lifelong and monogamous, but that is just not the reality, and it never has been. Humans are fallible. So that argument, as I am the child of divorced parents, too, really chaps my ass. All of these arguments are strictly religious--it's not the government's business how you have sex or whether you're faithful to your spouse, so--I don't know--shut up! This is not about forcing churches to marry two dudes or two ladies. That's the great thing about this country--you can believe in whatever you want to believe in. You, as a private citizen. But the government of the United States of America (and its individual state governments) can only believe in one thing: equal rights, privileges, and responsibilities for every, single one of its law-abiding citizens. Every. Single. One.

Marriage is not something that can only exist between a man and a woman. Marriage is for any two consenting adults who have decided to make a lifelong commitment to each other. And if a government awards special rights and responsibilities for heterosexual couples who make that choice then it absolutely must accord those same rights to homosexual couples who make the same choice.

That's all there is to it.

So let's go, California. Shoot down Proposition 8, and keep the gay rights movement moving forward instead of seventy-billion steps backward.

PS: Congratulations, Connecticut!

Red Sox ranting

That is it, internet. Josh Beckett and I are so over. I mean, I could forgive the rocky start against the Angels--he'd been injured; he hadn't pitched in a while--but this mess Saturday night against the Rays? Eight earned runs? That is not Josh Beckett pitching. And it certainly is not Josh Beckett post-season pitching. Thank god Daisuke was on fire Friday night. Thank god Jon Lester is pitching today. And I sure do hope Wakefield's knuckleball is workin' tomorrow. I'd rather not have Josh Beckett pitch game 6 at Tropicana Field. Yeah. I don't want that at all.

I am super, super bummed my imaginary husband Mike Lowell has that effed-up hip keeping him off the ALCS roster. But oh I am so happy that my new imaginary boyfriend Dustin Pedroia smashed himself out of his post-season hitting slump. Two fucking home runs! Too bad they ultimately went to waste.

I must be honest, internet--I am kind of shocked the Red Sox are doing this well. Something is just not right about this team--all the injuries, I guess, are spooking me. Plus, it'll be hard to win the World Series with only two reliable starting pitchers.

Joshua Patrick Beckett, you get your act together right now!

Getting back into television

So I didn't say anything about the premiere of Grey's, because...I had other things on my mind, and there weren't nearly enough of the lesbians. However, I adored the way Hahn snapped Callie out of her self-doubt free-fall during the hypothermia therapy thing. They're good for each other.

This week was, like, so much better, mostly because there were a bunch of scenes showing the doctors, you know, interacting like friends again. Like at the lunch table when Alex smacks Cristina to test her pain threshold and then does it to Izzie in the elevator. And Callie throwing grapes at Sloane for teasing Erica! I love it all! Oh, and then when Cristina and Callie are bonding over their new apartment, and Izzie loses her mind. Like, it kind of sucks to be Izzie, but Callie and Cristina's faces were so hilarious. Plus, the way Izzie told her about the apartment was so vague, I don't blame Cristina for thinking that Izzie was doing her a favor. It's kind of retarded that she didn't just say, "Hey, I found this place, I need a roommate, what do you think?" But it allowed for that funny scene at the bar, so hooray! Plus, Izzie's not homeless, so I don't have to feel bad!

The good thing about the lesbians these days is that they are talking to each other. Erica freaks out about Sloane, and Callie tells her why he knows. She freaks out about Callie telling him things, tells Callie she doesn't understand it, so Callie explains. How mother-effin' mature! I really like that the only functional relationship on this show is the gay one. I give it two more weeks tops before it falls apart.

Sometimes I hate you, Grey's Anatomy.

Lesbians and language--my two greatest loves

Hey, lesbians, you know that scene in But I'm a Cheerleader when Graham and Megan finally kiss? (By the way, doesn't anyone else think Graham's root should be the fact that her parents named her Graham?) And they're all fighting, because Megan freaked out about seeing Sinead grope Graham, and blah blah, and Graham goes, "You want me to do what I want?" And Megan says, "I could care less!" And then kissing! And it's supposed to be the big romantic climax, right?

Every time I hear her say, "I could care less!" I get taken right out if. I can't even focus on the girlkissing!

It's "couldn't care less," because if you could care less, my friend, that means you at least care a little. But if you can't care less, why then, you simply don't care! Right, Pierre?

Angry and boring part eleventy thousand

Here are some totally boring pet peeves of mine:

I hate whatever fool decided that numerals in titles of things precede the letter A when lists of titles are being alphabetized. That is ridiculous. The numerals always have a corresponding lettered form, you know? So. The 40-Year-Old Virgin goes where, children? Where does it go?

With the Fs. Next.

I also hate the notion that anyone would alphabetize their collection of books by title. Like, no. It has to be organized alphabetically by author. What a mess it would be otherwise! Um, mostly this bugs me because whenever I log in to librarything, my collection is organized by title, and the titles that have numbers in them are first, and then I have to fix it myself. Stupid! You would think the one place that could get this right is a website full of crazy-ass booknerds. Sigh.

OMG, did you know that if you google "since you went away" grey's anatomy song my stupid blog is the first thing that comes up? Just in case my stupid blog didn't help you find your answer, intrepid googler from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, (sometimes I love Canada) the song's "What Can I Say" by Brandi Carlile. You're welcome! Wee!

You can literally register to vote while you're pooping

HollywoodDeclaresThemselves
by declareyourself

Look, I could register to vote on November 4 if I had to, because New Hampshire is crazy, but apparently, the rest of the states in this fine nation have deadlines. So hop to. Register. Vote. This country is a disaster, and the only way we have to fix it is voting. So let's go. Let's make some god damn changes.

There is one thing I hate more than Republicans: outright apathy toward our country's, toward the world's future.

Also, Sarah Silverman made me laugh, like, three times in this video, so I had to post it, since I'm pretty sure the three people who read this are all set for November 4. Also, is Tobey Maguire's head too big for his body or what?

Not as good as Fenway, but I'll take it

Oh, internet! I finally got to see a Blue Jays game! Their last home game of the season, in fact! I have impeccable timing, and I decided to show up in Toronto on the exact day the Blue Jays were finishing their season. So I insisted that Allison take me to the Rogers Centre, and she was very obliging, and she didn't even yell at me when I got up to get the beer and then realized I'd spent more of my Canadian Monopoly money than I'd realized because of course I bought a super sweet hat with the old Jays logo on it as soon as we entered the dome. (It's so weird to watch a baseball game in a dome, by the way. Even with the roof open, it feels like you're inside--in fact, what it reminded me of was the University of Syracuse's gym where I got to see two games of the men's NCAA tournament a million years ago.) But it was so fun--I sure do love watchin' a baseball game in real life. And now I've been to one tenth of all the Major League Baseball stadiums!

Even better? The Jays totally murdalized the Yankees. Suck it, Yankees.