This is an oddly specific string of keywords: "vest brandi carlile emily"--somebody used it to find my entry on the "Turpentine" video. I'm not quite sure what to make of it, but it's tickling me anyway. Also, I actually googled that string myself, and I am only the second hit. What the hell? Bitches...
Oh, also, I finally watched the "Turpentine" video again, and I can't believe I didn't realize she's barefoot in it. I love barefooted girls even more than barefooted boys. It might have been the video I initially watched, but she didn't look orange this time. Just really, really pretty. And maybe the vest is growing on me or something, but I guess it's not that bad. I think I just really couldn't resist making the Mean Girls connection. (Other Mean Girls quote that horribly comes into my head in connection with Brandi: "I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed." Even though I don't think it's so much that she's gap-toothed as that her two front teeth are crooked. Whatever! Mean Girls runs my subconscious.)
So I was pondering this the other day: I went to three shows at the Orpheum this month, and Brandi's was the only one where they didn't allow beer in the seats. At Regina and Kelly, you could drink in the theater; at Brandi, you had to finish your booze in the lobby, which was just as well, because if I'd had another giant Bud Light, I would have had to pee halfway through her set, and that would not have been allowed (by me). But I was still like, "What the fuck? Brandi Carlile fans aren't assholes." However, after reading some reports from her other shows on this tour, I'm starting to think that, for some reason, she attracts assholes, because there always seemed to be mention of some drunk or other being a total dick. In Burlington it wasn't so bad--at least around me--that drunk woman just passed out at the end, but she wasn't being annoying or anything during the show. And I'm ashamed to say that I got wasted at my first Brandi concert, but that's because Mike and I had already been drinking at the Cask 'n Flagon, and it just seemed like continuing to drink at the Avalon would be the thing to do. But we weren't annoying, and we were on the edges of the crowd, by the bar, not in anyone's way; maybe we talked to each other too loudly, but we didn't run into people or scream at the band--or pass out during "Hallelujah"--like, really. Anyway, after that show, I was, like, "What the hell was I thinking? I'm never getting drunk at a Brandi Carlile concert again." Because you miss shit when you're drunk. We had tons of fun, but I'd rather be stone cold sober for this girl.
Anyway, what the fuck, nasty drunks? Stay away from concerts where people actually wanna listen to the band. Or mostly, stay away from Brandi Carlile. Thanks.
I also got this search string: "what denomination was laura ingalls wilder"--and you know, I do not know. Some kind of Protestant. The end. But I did write that whole thing about Little House on the Prairie, but where did denomination come from? I hate talking about religion.
Songs I would die to hear Brandi Carlile cover:
"A Case of You"
"Undone--The Sweater Song"
the rest of "Bohemian Rhapsody"
"Paint It Black"
"Shelter from the Storm"
October 31, 2007
October 30, 2007
I don't even like Halloween. Allegedly.
Oh my god, do you know what I got hit with a big craving for just this minute? Those pumpkins that are just like candy corn but are shaped like pumpkins. You know? These:
Apparently, their official name is Mellowcreme Pumpkins. That sounds gross. I just call them pumpkin-shaped candy corn. Ooh, and they're so much more potent than candy corn. After I eat, like, two I want to barf, because I might as well just be pouring granulated sugar down my throat, but oh my god, they're so delicious. Right?
Oh, but do you know what is effing nasty, and for some reason, every Halloween I still eat some? So-called Indian Corn, the brown candy corn. Is the brown supposed to make it taste like chocolate? Because it tastes like ass! And every year, I go, "Ooh, candy corn. All candy corn is delicious, right?" Wrong. Oh, so very wrong. Why won't I learn my lesson, dammit? Also, even among regular candy corn, all candy corn is not delicious. Pretty much, for me, it's Brach's or nothing. Anything else is, like, hard and plasticky, but Brach's is chewy and delicious. The Goelitz people, who own Jelly Belly, make candy corn, and it is gross! They should just make a candy corn flavored jelly bean. Or would that be too weird, candy that tastes like other candy? Whatever. I would eat candy corn flavored jelly beans by the handful.
I have a problem.
Wait! I just thought of something else that's gross! During the fall of senior year, I was at...Target (?) with... Jen and/or Sarah, and I found candy corn flavored soda, and because I love candy corn, I was like, "Sweet! I have to get this!" And Jen and/or Sarah tried to talk me out of it, because they both knew it would be gross (even if they both weren't there; they both were smarter than me in this regard), but I was insistent. And oh god, it was gross. It did not taste like candy corn so much as carbonated honey and glue, which is probably what candy corn is, but it tastes much better in solid form. I had to buy a six pack, no singles, and I couldn't even finish one can. The other five sat in our fridge until Christmas. So here's another lesson I need to heed: novelty soda is never delicious. Jones's, I'm looking at you. Since, you know, you made this horrible stuff. And you have your Thanksgiving flavored sodas too. Blergh.
The can is cute, though. I was so sad that it was gross. So sad. Actually, you know, I think I popped one of these in the parking lot, got grossed out and poured it out the car window, then went home and refrigerated the other five to see if that would improve the taste. It did not, and can number two got poured down the drain. So there were really only four cans sitting in the fridge till Christmas. No one else even wanted to try it!
Apparently, their official name is Mellowcreme Pumpkins. That sounds gross. I just call them pumpkin-shaped candy corn. Ooh, and they're so much more potent than candy corn. After I eat, like, two I want to barf, because I might as well just be pouring granulated sugar down my throat, but oh my god, they're so delicious. Right?Oh, but do you know what is effing nasty, and for some reason, every Halloween I still eat some? So-called Indian Corn, the brown candy corn. Is the brown supposed to make it taste like chocolate? Because it tastes like ass! And every year, I go, "Ooh, candy corn. All candy corn is delicious, right?" Wrong. Oh, so very wrong. Why won't I learn my lesson, dammit? Also, even among regular candy corn, all candy corn is not delicious. Pretty much, for me, it's Brach's or nothing. Anything else is, like, hard and plasticky, but Brach's is chewy and delicious. The Goelitz people, who own Jelly Belly, make candy corn, and it is gross! They should just make a candy corn flavored jelly bean. Or would that be too weird, candy that tastes like other candy? Whatever. I would eat candy corn flavored jelly beans by the handful.
I have a problem.
Wait! I just thought of something else that's gross! During the fall of senior year, I was at...Target (?) with... Jen and/or Sarah, and I found candy corn flavored soda, and because I love candy corn, I was like, "Sweet! I have to get this!" And Jen and/or Sarah tried to talk me out of it, because they both knew it would be gross (even if they both weren't there; they both were smarter than me in this regard), but I was insistent. And oh god, it was gross. It did not taste like candy corn so much as carbonated honey and glue, which is probably what candy corn is, but it tastes much better in solid form. I had to buy a six pack, no singles, and I couldn't even finish one can. The other five sat in our fridge until Christmas. So here's another lesson I need to heed: novelty soda is never delicious. Jones's, I'm looking at you. Since, you know, you made this horrible stuff. And you have your Thanksgiving flavored sodas too. Blergh.
The can is cute, though. I was so sad that it was gross. So sad. Actually, you know, I think I popped one of these in the parking lot, got grossed out and poured it out the car window, then went home and refrigerated the other five to see if that would improve the taste. It did not, and can number two got poured down the drain. So there were really only four cans sitting in the fridge till Christmas. No one else even wanted to try it!
October 29, 2007
Non-Sox talk
Oh my god, these site statistics are so fun! I just discovered that it's not just people concerned about that girl's sexuality stumbling upon this blog (though that is still the number one draw, apparently. I kind of feel retarded about that now). One search was for "is meg cabot a newberry [sic] author?" And I can tell you that no, she is not. The Princess Diaries, while fun, are not winning any awards. But I'm sure you've found that information already, intrepid googler. Another one was for "baseball never ends" which was actually a title of one of my posts, possibly about the game Jess and I got to see in September. That was weird. Also, people searching "george izzie" found this place, too, thanks to my hatred of their pairing. Seriously. Make it stop. And then, the randomest: "from the mixed up files free literary unit"--I don't even remember talking about From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, but I must have. And I should have, because that is a damn fine book. And a Newbery winner as well.
Okay, so now I have to add another chapter to my neverending story "I love country music, and now I have to kill myself," which I might as well subtitle "and it's all Brandi Carlile's fault." Because it is. All her fault. She wrote a new song, like, two weeks ago, and she described it herself as a song filled with every classic country cliche she could think of. And this song? It is awesome. And in my first rant against country music, I bitched about the cliches--that they were the reason I hated it. Or I tried to--that first rant is pretty inarticulate. Like most of my rants! But that's the reason I hated country music--full of cliches. But if you're making fun of the cliches, then I love it. And it also helps if you're Brandi Carlile. But this song is "Same Ol' You"--find it on youtube.
I tried not to talk about her today, you know, but it's just not working, because I'm also having a problem. She has this song "Save All Your Goodbyes" that hasn't been released anywhere, and I had to steal it from the internet, and I would feel guilty about it, but I love it too much. Anyway, it's a great song, but I can't for the life of me figure out what she's saying in one of the lines, and I've been just mumbling through it when she gets to that part. Something about "teach us to believe the truth hmmmfmmmfuaiiis." I don't know. I could google for lyrics or whatever, but I hate those lyrics sites. The only solution is to listen to the song over and over and over again. Have you ever noticed that you'll get, like, official lyrics for a song, even in the actual liner notes, but those words are so not what the singer is singing? I don't really care what lyrics you wrote out; I want to know what you're singing. (I don't think that's ever happened with Brandi, but it's happened before--I think with Kelly Clarkson--so I usually don't trust lyrics sites or even liner notes, sometimes; I go with my ears! But my ears are failing me.) Okay, so I actually just tried to google this song, and I got nothin'. Did I hallucinate it? Is it...called something else? Are my ears so bad that I can't even get one line right? Well, great, now I have to do some real research. No dice. Here's what I have, anyway:
I know it's getting late
but I don't wanna talk about it
If you can't fall asleep
I think you should try
And we're deceived by waiting for the answers
that teach us to believe
the truth is in the [I HAVE NO IDEA]
Save all your goodbyes by leavin' me tomorrow
So you won't have to try
and I won't have to swallow
all my foolish pride until you're gone
(aah-ooooh) [I love that part]
You don't understand
This door's always open
It's not what we had planned
but we're still alive
And we can stand tall and never broken
and I can hold your hand, still by your side
Save all your goodbyes by leavin' me tomorrow
So you won't have to cry
and I won't have to swallow
all my foolish pride until you're gone
This song sounds like it belongs on The Story, but it got cut for some reason. (I heard somewhere they recorded 18 tracks and only used 14--I wish I remember where I heard that, but my mind is a sieve these days. Also, what a terrible English major I've turned out to be, unable to document any of my sources.) Why? It is lovely. Not that I could pick a song off The Story to replace with it, though. Well, I suppose I'm just greedy. And anal, because I hate having songs with no album to attach them to--it really grates on my organizational obsession. You should see my iTunes library. It's crazy.
My crazy obsessive nature has also noticed these days that Ms. Carlile has an obsession of sorts with blue eyes. Off the top of my head, I can think of four of her songs with blue eyes in the lyrics: "Fall"--'come on, blue eyes that tell me that you can't walk away'; "Tired"--'I'm tired with your blue eyes crying'; "That Year"--'you were lonesome and blue-eyed'; "Caroline"--'if I could see behind blue eyes.' And then she does that cover of "Blue Eyes Cryin' in the Rain," which I love (and which must be added to the country music suicide watch list, great). I don't know. I don't really care to try to extract the significance of this (if there even is any significance); it's just something I have noticed.
Just for kicks, "Same Ol' You":
So here you are in your borrowed car
kickin' rocks around
lookin' at your shoes
It's the same ol' you
Tell me where you been
Where you goin' to?
Where were you last night?
Boy, listen up when I'm talkin' to you
It's the same ol' you
Another lonely night with that same ol' whiskey moon [?]
It's the same ol' you when you get to drinkin'
Same ol' you when you're on the town
Same ol' you in church on Sunday
gettin' high when the sun goes down
Well, it's time I got to thinkin'
and I think I'm done with you
cuz until I get to leavin'
it's just the same ol' me, too
Your mama's gonna cry her eyes
There ain't gonna be no wedding day
What's she gonna say
when I tell her how I had no choice
Same ol' you wouldn't even raise your voice and ask me to stay
I wouldn't anyway
Well, you can keep your ring and I'll keep my daddy's name
It's the same ol' you when you get to drinkin'
Same ol' you when you're on the town
Same ol' you in church on Sunday
gettin' high when the sun goes down
Well, it's time I got to thinkin'
and I think I'm done with you
cuz until I get to leavin'
it's just the same ol' me, too
Love it. You know where she debuted this song, too? In St. Louis. I have people in St. Louis! Well, one person. I could have conceivably gone to this show and then shown up at Jen's apartment, demanding a place to sleep. If only I had planned ahead.
Okay, so now I have to add another chapter to my neverending story "I love country music, and now I have to kill myself," which I might as well subtitle "and it's all Brandi Carlile's fault." Because it is. All her fault. She wrote a new song, like, two weeks ago, and she described it herself as a song filled with every classic country cliche she could think of. And this song? It is awesome. And in my first rant against country music, I bitched about the cliches--that they were the reason I hated it. Or I tried to--that first rant is pretty inarticulate. Like most of my rants! But that's the reason I hated country music--full of cliches. But if you're making fun of the cliches, then I love it. And it also helps if you're Brandi Carlile. But this song is "Same Ol' You"--find it on youtube.
I tried not to talk about her today, you know, but it's just not working, because I'm also having a problem. She has this song "Save All Your Goodbyes" that hasn't been released anywhere, and I had to steal it from the internet, and I would feel guilty about it, but I love it too much. Anyway, it's a great song, but I can't for the life of me figure out what she's saying in one of the lines, and I've been just mumbling through it when she gets to that part. Something about "teach us to believe the truth hmmmfmmmfuaiiis." I don't know. I could google for lyrics or whatever, but I hate those lyrics sites. The only solution is to listen to the song over and over and over again. Have you ever noticed that you'll get, like, official lyrics for a song, even in the actual liner notes, but those words are so not what the singer is singing? I don't really care what lyrics you wrote out; I want to know what you're singing. (I don't think that's ever happened with Brandi, but it's happened before--I think with Kelly Clarkson--so I usually don't trust lyrics sites or even liner notes, sometimes; I go with my ears! But my ears are failing me.) Okay, so I actually just tried to google this song, and I got nothin'. Did I hallucinate it? Is it...called something else? Are my ears so bad that I can't even get one line right? Well, great, now I have to do some real research. No dice. Here's what I have, anyway:
I know it's getting late
but I don't wanna talk about it
If you can't fall asleep
I think you should try
And we're deceived by waiting for the answers
that teach us to believe
the truth is in the [I HAVE NO IDEA]
Save all your goodbyes by leavin' me tomorrow
So you won't have to try
and I won't have to swallow
all my foolish pride until you're gone
(aah-ooooh) [I love that part]
You don't understand
This door's always open
It's not what we had planned
but we're still alive
And we can stand tall and never broken
and I can hold your hand, still by your side
Save all your goodbyes by leavin' me tomorrow
So you won't have to cry
and I won't have to swallow
all my foolish pride until you're gone
This song sounds like it belongs on The Story, but it got cut for some reason. (I heard somewhere they recorded 18 tracks and only used 14--I wish I remember where I heard that, but my mind is a sieve these days. Also, what a terrible English major I've turned out to be, unable to document any of my sources.) Why? It is lovely. Not that I could pick a song off The Story to replace with it, though. Well, I suppose I'm just greedy. And anal, because I hate having songs with no album to attach them to--it really grates on my organizational obsession. You should see my iTunes library. It's crazy.
My crazy obsessive nature has also noticed these days that Ms. Carlile has an obsession of sorts with blue eyes. Off the top of my head, I can think of four of her songs with blue eyes in the lyrics: "Fall"--'come on, blue eyes that tell me that you can't walk away'; "Tired"--'I'm tired with your blue eyes crying'; "That Year"--'you were lonesome and blue-eyed'; "Caroline"--'if I could see behind blue eyes.' And then she does that cover of "Blue Eyes Cryin' in the Rain," which I love (and which must be added to the country music suicide watch list, great). I don't know. I don't really care to try to extract the significance of this (if there even is any significance); it's just something I have noticed.
Just for kicks, "Same Ol' You":
So here you are in your borrowed car
kickin' rocks around
lookin' at your shoes
It's the same ol' you
Tell me where you been
Where you goin' to?
Where were you last night?
Boy, listen up when I'm talkin' to you
It's the same ol' you
Another lonely night with that same ol' whiskey moon [?]
It's the same ol' you when you get to drinkin'
Same ol' you when you're on the town
Same ol' you in church on Sunday
gettin' high when the sun goes down
Well, it's time I got to thinkin'
and I think I'm done with you
cuz until I get to leavin'
it's just the same ol' me, too
Your mama's gonna cry her eyes
There ain't gonna be no wedding day
What's she gonna say
when I tell her how I had no choice
Same ol' you wouldn't even raise your voice and ask me to stay
I wouldn't anyway
Well, you can keep your ring and I'll keep my daddy's name
It's the same ol' you when you get to drinkin'
Same ol' you when you're on the town
Same ol' you in church on Sunday
gettin' high when the sun goes down
Well, it's time I got to thinkin'
and I think I'm done with you
cuz until I get to leavin'
it's just the same ol' me, too
Love it. You know where she debuted this song, too? In St. Louis. I have people in St. Louis! Well, one person. I could have conceivably gone to this show and then shown up at Jen's apartment, demanding a place to sleep. If only I had planned ahead.
That's right
I'm sorry, did I actually say I picked Dustin Pedroia over Mike Lowell? I have no idea what I was thinking. While it is true that I am a big fan of Mr. Rookie of the Year (and his dreamy, boyish smile), Mike Lowell is my man. My Red Sox shirt has his name on the back of it. Not Pedroia's. Now, lest you think I changed my mind or whatever once he was named World Series MVP, I actually came to my senses in the fifth inning when he slid home on Varitek's single. And then when he hit that home run. Dustin did good, but Mike Lowell was my man all season long, and I feel foolish for even thinking of forsaking him.Hey, and thank god for Bobby Kielty, huh? Comin' out of nowhere to hit that home run that ensured the win. I love shit like that. I would also like to give it up for Dice-K for those two RBIs. Love it when the pitcher bats. LOVE IT. I also love to see David Ortiz field. Love it. Seriously, I'm so not havin' this DH rule. Then you have to choose between Papi and Youk in the World Series, and I don't like it. But I'm an American League girl. Have to be.
If the Red Sox let Lowell get away, like Trot Nixon, I will cry. But how the hell can you get rid of your World Series MVP? Right? RIGHT? I hate this part of professional sports. Hate it. Ugh, and if they replace him with A-Rod, I don't know what I'll do. Is there any foundation to this rumor? Who knows? But people are always talking about the Sox getting A-Rod. I don't want him! I don't care how many home runs he hits. He's a whiny bitch, and do you remember when he slapped the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's glove trying to get to first in the '04 ALCS? Who even does that? God, that was so gross. The fuckin' NYPD had to come out to the field to restore order in Yankee Stadium after all that bullshit so the game could continue. Seriously. I don't want that douche in Boston.
Um, anyway, hurrah. It was not as exciting as 2004, but it was still quite the good time.
October 26, 2007
Um, yeah?
Aw, Mike Lowell, I am sorry I left you for Dustin Pedroia. But...I chose Dustin and I'm sticking with him. But you, my fine eyebrowed friend, are still awesome.Not as fun last night, but a win is a win, is it not? And you know, as much as I kind of want the Red Sox to lose at least two, so they can win the World Series at home, I've decided maybe it is better if they win it in Denver. I mean, in 2004, it was complete pandelirium in Boston. Can you imagine the insanity if Fenway was full? I'll pass. I'm pretty sure the insanity will hardly be any less even though there's no curse to break this year. Boston fans are nuts.
So I've discovered that a few people have come to this here blog by searching "brandi carlile" and "lesbian," which are three words that appear frequently in my ramblings, and I just find it hilarious. Are you people looking for confirmation that Brandi's a lez? Well, get away from me; I don't know her. I did write that stupid entry about the vest in which I speculated, but that was harmless--or meant to be harmless anyway. It doesn't matter who Brandi's into, hear? Whoever it is, it's not me, and that's the part that's sad. Ahem. (That was a joke, too. Just so we're clear.) Also, I wanna thank and apologize to gocolts99, whose comment I unceremoniously deleted, because I started freaking out about strangers actually reading the dumb shit I write. I'm not used to anyone actually reading my internet ramblings--but if I didn't want anyone to read them, why are they on the internet? Yeah, I don't know. I'm having some troubles with this. Anyway, thanks, gocolts, for confirming that "Turpentine" was indeed for her brother.
I hate censoring myself--and other people--but this is weirding me out. Um, go Red Sox.
Well, speaking of the Red Sox (again), I decided, with the help of Brandi fan Kelly, that Brandi wins the Carlile/Clarkson fake Red Sox fan face-off. My decision was based partly on the opinion of one other person, partly on the fact that Brandi's hat is red, and Kelly's is pink. And I really just cannot abide pink Red Sox hats. We get it, Kelly, you're a girrrrrl. Good for you. But thanks for throwing your World Series support in, anyway. I don't have any problem with bandwagon fans, unless they're former mayors of New York City.
Don't let me down
Okay! Here's a post devoid of my weird internet issues, I swear.
So I finally watched a new episode of Grey's, and it was surprisingly good. It was worth all of it to see Callie and Cristina bunking together at the end--and Cristina telling Callie that she does mind if she cleans up the slob's apartment. However, if Callie has the millions of dollars, why is she sleeping on Cristina's couch? And why did she live in the basement of the hospital? Did she and George ever move out of the hotel? Whatever. I like Callie and Cristina bonding; I like Cristina giving Izzie the cold shoulder; I like George when he's interacting with anyone but Izzie. I don't like Bailey's marriage problems, but oh well. She is still Bailey. And the chainsaw to the foot thing was more than I ever needed to see! Christ.
Seriously. Is anyone rooting for this George and Izzie pairing? Anyone? Because it is making me dry heave. I don't see anything between them. At all. I forgot, too, that Alex lived with Meredith and Izzie these days. I like that.
Also, I need to talk about this new blog I found, thanks to blogger itself. The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks. It's bangarang, because one of things that bugs me most in my life is that people seem to think quotation marks should be used to emphasize things. I even wrote an inarticulate livejournal entry on this issue way back in the dark ages of my internet writing. Quotation marks are used for two purposes: to quote something somebody else said and to indicate, basically, that something isn't what it claims to be. A "free" lunch, for example, is a lunch that claims to be free, but as we all know, there's no such thing, and so the quotation marks around free indicate that the lunch does, in fact, cost something. A free "lunch," on the other hand, is something free that isn't really lunch. It's just a bag of peanuts or something masquerading as your noontime meal. Anyway, the blog is hilarious. If you're a nerd like me, check it out.
Edited hastily to add this:
Stephen Colbert has his own flavor of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Too bad Mike hates ice cream, or I'd buy him a pint. Maybe I'll buy him a pint anyway and eat it myself, but let him keep the carton!
So I finally watched a new episode of Grey's, and it was surprisingly good. It was worth all of it to see Callie and Cristina bunking together at the end--and Cristina telling Callie that she does mind if she cleans up the slob's apartment. However, if Callie has the millions of dollars, why is she sleeping on Cristina's couch? And why did she live in the basement of the hospital? Did she and George ever move out of the hotel? Whatever. I like Callie and Cristina bonding; I like Cristina giving Izzie the cold shoulder; I like George when he's interacting with anyone but Izzie. I don't like Bailey's marriage problems, but oh well. She is still Bailey. And the chainsaw to the foot thing was more than I ever needed to see! Christ.
Seriously. Is anyone rooting for this George and Izzie pairing? Anyone? Because it is making me dry heave. I don't see anything between them. At all. I forgot, too, that Alex lived with Meredith and Izzie these days. I like that.
Also, I need to talk about this new blog I found, thanks to blogger itself. The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks. It's bangarang, because one of things that bugs me most in my life is that people seem to think quotation marks should be used to emphasize things. I even wrote an inarticulate livejournal entry on this issue way back in the dark ages of my internet writing. Quotation marks are used for two purposes: to quote something somebody else said and to indicate, basically, that something isn't what it claims to be. A "free" lunch, for example, is a lunch that claims to be free, but as we all know, there's no such thing, and so the quotation marks around free indicate that the lunch does, in fact, cost something. A free "lunch," on the other hand, is something free that isn't really lunch. It's just a bag of peanuts or something masquerading as your noontime meal. Anyway, the blog is hilarious. If you're a nerd like me, check it out.
Edited hastily to add this:
Stephen Colbert has his own flavor of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Too bad Mike hates ice cream, or I'd buy him a pint. Maybe I'll buy him a pint anyway and eat it myself, but let him keep the carton!
October 25, 2007
Boys, boys, boys
How awesome is Dustin Pedroia? Huh? Yeah. Almost as awesome as Josh Beckett. I really can't decide which one I love more. Seriously. Just for the first inning alone. That is how you start the World Series, bitches. Although, I think I'll let Jess have Josh. Pedroia is my official imaginary husband. (Um, sorry, Mike Lowell. You know I love you. But, um...Pedroia's cuter?)I have to say, though, that these Fox announcers suck rocks. They kept misspeaking--like, one said "Colorado" when they meant "Cleveland," and then later, one (same one? I don't know) said that Red Sox had overcome a 3-1 deficit against the Angels, and like, um, the Angels series was only best out of five, so that wasn't even possible, and also the ALCS just happened. Red Sox and Indians. You idiots. Hot damn, do I miss Don Orsillo. And you too, Remy.
Also? Red Sox Nation does not want, nor do we need, your support, Giulani. So fuck off.
October 24, 2007
I wanna remember you just like this
Okay, I have, like, a million things to say about the Kelly Clarkson concert, and hopefully I can remember them all. Let's start with this: not as good as Brandi. But still quite entertaining. I mean, I should have known these two girls put on completely different shows, but I was just so used to, you know, the musicians just playin' their instruments and singing. Kelly Clarkson concerts are more of a spectacle, with backup singers and projector screens and all kinds of crazy lighting. And while that is quite enjoyable, I really do prefer the more minimalist approach to a show, and I really wish Kelly would do a tour where it's just her and her band, because her voice is awesome, and it kind of gets lost, sometimes, in all the extra craziness on stage. But anyway. Good times.
I went to the show fully expecting her to make me eat the words of my last blog, and she had me up until she brought in Jesus, in introducing "Up to the Mountain." I was so ruffled I even remember the exact words she said: "I grew up in church, so this is gonna be churchy--so don't be afraid of Jesus. Just let him in." And I was, like, "Oh. My. Fuck." Is that necessary? Leave Jesus out of it, lady. Like, okay, I have no problem if Jesus is your bag--truly--but stop, stop, stop trying to get other people to feel about Jesus the way you do. (This is not really directed at Kelly--what she said was pretty harmless, but it's just a thing that I can't stand.) I am actually kind of a fan of Jesus myself, but not in a "he's the key to your eternal salvation" way--in a "dude knew how to treat people way." But anyway, the show was so fun that I kind of got over it, but it rankled me for the whole song, which is actually quite a beautiful song, from Patty Griffin.
Okay, now that the bitching's out of the way, let's continue shall we? All of the things I wanted to happen at Brandi's Boston concert that didn't happened at Kelly Clarkson: standing throughout the show, crazy audience participation, and Boston Red Sox hat wearing. Oh yes. Kelly put on a pink one, backwards, for "Since U Been Gone." Adorable. And one of her backup singers wore the regular navy blue one. Also, she talked about the World Series at the beginning of her show, and apparently she sang the national anthem with Aerosmith (or she did "God Bless America" and Aerosmith did the national anthem?) for one of the games in 2004? How did I miss this? You know I was watching the World Series in 2004. Oh well. She said she totally became a Red Sox fan after that. I'm taking that with a mother-fucking grain of salt, but I think she said that she and her brother come out to games every once in a while. I could have hallucinated that, but whatever. Kelly knows how to pander to the Boston audiences, Brandi. Jon McLaughlin, her opener, did too--wearing a Sox t-shirt despite being from Indiana.
I was sitting behind this family with two adorable moppet boys, who couldn't have been older than six and four, and we were right in front of the stage, and it was loud, but the littler one fell asleep about halfway through. So cute. The audience was rather more diverse than the audiences at the shows I've been attending these days. I only saw two lesbians. But many more gay dudes--in couples or with herds of hags. There were also a lot of straight girls together in pairs, and they were the ones who went craziest for her. I don't get you, straight girls. And then there were moms and daughters, which was sweet. The mom in the row in front of me was totally digging the show, even more than her daughter. That made me smile.
Her bassist was awesome, tall and bald, so I couldn't help comparing him to Phil (Phil won), but he sang along with the choruses to "Behind These Hazel Eyes" and "Never Again" without a mic, and I realized that's fun even when it's not Brandi Carlile doing it. Also, he was kind of scary-looking. He looked a little bit like Voldemort. And he wore shoes. So of course Phil won.
The highlight for me, as usual, was "Addicted," which remains my favorite Kelly Clarkson song. I think it might actually be her favorite Kelly Clarkson song, too. She killed it, and the audience lost its collective mind. I did prefer the way she did it back in '05, though, when she just sang it a capella. Or at least the beginning of it was a capella. That was awesome.
Oh my god! I totally forgot the best part. After...some song--"Be Still"?--she disappeared behind the curtain and came back for "Miss Independent" wearing a black vest. Serious. It was cut girlier than Brandi's, and she just threw it on over the blue shirt she was already wearing, and she didn't button it or anything, but. Y'all. Black vest. What is that about? There's a picture I have of her, in profile, and with the vest, she looks kind of dykey. Something about vests just screams lesbian. Kelly, however, is not a lesbian. No matter how much I kind of wish she was.
Here's another thing that bugged at this concert: the crowd was too fucking loud. When she did just her simple songs, like "Be Still," people kept screaming and ruining it--making it hard to hear her voice. And, people, Kelly Clarkson is all about that voice. That is what makes her awesome. So shut up and listen to it! I am getting old and cranky!
So I was closer to the stage than I was at Brandi, and that kind of made me sad about Brandi, but I went to Vermont and remedied that, and anyway, I was close enough that I could pretend I could actually make eye contact with Kelly Clarkson, and just the illusion of that made me happy. (I still love her, y'all. In case you didn't pick up on that.)
Kelly is cute and sweet and goofy, and I fell in love with her again just watching her bounce around the stage and talk to the audience about how she was sweating like crazy, because once again, the Orpheum was fucking stifling. Not as bad as Brandi, but bad. I guess because it was still so warm outside? But it kind of feels like there's no fucking ventilation in the theater.
My other highlight, besides "Addicted" and the Red Sox hat, was that she actually performed "Chivas"--and told the story of how she wrote it, smashed, on bar napkins after running into someone she didn't want to see--on that night made infamous on youtube when she got drunk and decided to sing some Guns 'n Roses. And she just laughed about it, like, "Okay, we all do dumb shit when we're drunk." The audience loved it. I loved it. Because I love fun drunks. She actually said, "I was at this bar, and I was inebriated--that means drunk--" and everyone was already howling, because she was talking about drinking, but I just died that she had to explain the meaning of inebriated.
She opened the show with "One Minute," which is the only song on My December I don't like, but she was bouncin' around and having so much fun that I couldn't not love it. I also don't like "Because of You," mostly because it got played to death, but I sang along dutifully with the rest of the crowd, because Kelly eats that shit up. Also, when she was talking about the song, she mentioned how she got to re-record it with Reba McEntire, who is one of her "idols"--she said it with the air quotes--and then she supplied her own rimshot, and no one was really listening, because they were all going crazy in anticipation for the song or something, but I died laughing. Number one, because she's still hung up on being the American Idol (poor girl), and number two, she supplied her own rim shot for a lame joke. If you can even call it a joke. Adorable!
While we're talking about Kelly Clarkson songs I don't like, let me tell you about "Breakaway." First of all, that song title should be two words, because it is a two-part verb. Like "Walk Away." Second, I hate that song. I hate it like I hate "A Moment Like This." It's so lame. And cheesy. And even when she does it live, I kind of can't stand it. But I sang along anyway, because that is what you do at a Kelly Clarkson concert.
Her hair was short and blonde, which means that in those pictures where she has the long, wavy brown hair, she's wearing a weave (weeds), shoo. Blah. I don't like it when she's blonde. I much prefer pretty brunette Kelly Clarkson. But the length of her hair was cute. I approve of that. That was also why I didn't buy a tour t-shirt. In the pictures, it was so obvious her hair was fake, I wasn't feelin' it. Not worth the $35. She had a cute brown hooded sweatshirt that I would have bought had it not been $60. Sixty dollars! Brandi's was $35. Dammit, Kelly Clarkson, you're too famous.
So here's a thing I realized when I was driving home last night: my Kelly Clarkson obsession comes and goes in waves. Like, it was crazy after she won Idol, so crazy that I went to see From Justin to Kelly in the theater. Possibly more than once. Then it kind of waned until she put out Breakaway, and I couldn't stop listening to that for months, and then it kind of waned again until August '05 when Katy and I decided to go on up to Manchester and see if we could get tickets the night of the show. And we did! And the show was awesome! (I miss Katy.) Then I made my dad get me tickets to her summer of '06 show for a graduation present, and I got totally obsessed again, and the obsession didn't really abate until...um, I fell in love with Brandi Carlile. Which happened gradually, because it didn't happen right after her show in Boston, because I was still hyped up about Kelly's new album coming out in a month (I think?), and then it didn't happen right after the Hampton Beach show--it was happening before that--but it was after that that I decided I definitely liked her better than Kelly. So, anyway, I've decided that were it not for this crazy Brandi Carlile thing, I'd have fallen crazy in love with Kelly again after last night and been all, "I need to see her again immediately!" like I was after the other two concerts. Now that emotion is reserved for Ms. Carlile. She has most definitely earned it, because when I saw her again immediately after one concert, she was even better. Believe it.
Oh! I forgot the second best part. She was barefoot, like she always is, but I never love it any less.
Ahem, anyway, Kelly Clarkson pictures are up. Enjoy, beeyotches.
I went to the show fully expecting her to make me eat the words of my last blog, and she had me up until she brought in Jesus, in introducing "Up to the Mountain." I was so ruffled I even remember the exact words she said: "I grew up in church, so this is gonna be churchy--so don't be afraid of Jesus. Just let him in." And I was, like, "Oh. My. Fuck." Is that necessary? Leave Jesus out of it, lady. Like, okay, I have no problem if Jesus is your bag--truly--but stop, stop, stop trying to get other people to feel about Jesus the way you do. (This is not really directed at Kelly--what she said was pretty harmless, but it's just a thing that I can't stand.) I am actually kind of a fan of Jesus myself, but not in a "he's the key to your eternal salvation" way--in a "dude knew how to treat people way." But anyway, the show was so fun that I kind of got over it, but it rankled me for the whole song, which is actually quite a beautiful song, from Patty Griffin.
Okay, now that the bitching's out of the way, let's continue shall we? All of the things I wanted to happen at Brandi's Boston concert that didn't happened at Kelly Clarkson: standing throughout the show, crazy audience participation, and Boston Red Sox hat wearing. Oh yes. Kelly put on a pink one, backwards, for "Since U Been Gone." Adorable. And one of her backup singers wore the regular navy blue one. Also, she talked about the World Series at the beginning of her show, and apparently she sang the national anthem with Aerosmith (or she did "God Bless America" and Aerosmith did the national anthem?) for one of the games in 2004? How did I miss this? You know I was watching the World Series in 2004. Oh well. She said she totally became a Red Sox fan after that. I'm taking that with a mother-fucking grain of salt, but I think she said that she and her brother come out to games every once in a while. I could have hallucinated that, but whatever. Kelly knows how to pander to the Boston audiences, Brandi. Jon McLaughlin, her opener, did too--wearing a Sox t-shirt despite being from Indiana.
I was sitting behind this family with two adorable moppet boys, who couldn't have been older than six and four, and we were right in front of the stage, and it was loud, but the littler one fell asleep about halfway through. So cute. The audience was rather more diverse than the audiences at the shows I've been attending these days. I only saw two lesbians. But many more gay dudes--in couples or with herds of hags. There were also a lot of straight girls together in pairs, and they were the ones who went craziest for her. I don't get you, straight girls. And then there were moms and daughters, which was sweet. The mom in the row in front of me was totally digging the show, even more than her daughter. That made me smile.
Her bassist was awesome, tall and bald, so I couldn't help comparing him to Phil (Phil won), but he sang along with the choruses to "Behind These Hazel Eyes" and "Never Again" without a mic, and I realized that's fun even when it's not Brandi Carlile doing it. Also, he was kind of scary-looking. He looked a little bit like Voldemort. And he wore shoes. So of course Phil won.
The highlight for me, as usual, was "Addicted," which remains my favorite Kelly Clarkson song. I think it might actually be her favorite Kelly Clarkson song, too. She killed it, and the audience lost its collective mind. I did prefer the way she did it back in '05, though, when she just sang it a capella. Or at least the beginning of it was a capella. That was awesome.
Oh my god! I totally forgot the best part. After...some song--"Be Still"?--she disappeared behind the curtain and came back for "Miss Independent" wearing a black vest. Serious. It was cut girlier than Brandi's, and she just threw it on over the blue shirt she was already wearing, and she didn't button it or anything, but. Y'all. Black vest. What is that about? There's a picture I have of her, in profile, and with the vest, she looks kind of dykey. Something about vests just screams lesbian. Kelly, however, is not a lesbian. No matter how much I kind of wish she was.
Here's another thing that bugged at this concert: the crowd was too fucking loud. When she did just her simple songs, like "Be Still," people kept screaming and ruining it--making it hard to hear her voice. And, people, Kelly Clarkson is all about that voice. That is what makes her awesome. So shut up and listen to it! I am getting old and cranky!
So I was closer to the stage than I was at Brandi, and that kind of made me sad about Brandi, but I went to Vermont and remedied that, and anyway, I was close enough that I could pretend I could actually make eye contact with Kelly Clarkson, and just the illusion of that made me happy. (I still love her, y'all. In case you didn't pick up on that.)
Kelly is cute and sweet and goofy, and I fell in love with her again just watching her bounce around the stage and talk to the audience about how she was sweating like crazy, because once again, the Orpheum was fucking stifling. Not as bad as Brandi, but bad. I guess because it was still so warm outside? But it kind of feels like there's no fucking ventilation in the theater.
My other highlight, besides "Addicted" and the Red Sox hat, was that she actually performed "Chivas"--and told the story of how she wrote it, smashed, on bar napkins after running into someone she didn't want to see--on that night made infamous on youtube when she got drunk and decided to sing some Guns 'n Roses. And she just laughed about it, like, "Okay, we all do dumb shit when we're drunk." The audience loved it. I loved it. Because I love fun drunks. She actually said, "I was at this bar, and I was inebriated--that means drunk--" and everyone was already howling, because she was talking about drinking, but I just died that she had to explain the meaning of inebriated.
She opened the show with "One Minute," which is the only song on My December I don't like, but she was bouncin' around and having so much fun that I couldn't not love it. I also don't like "Because of You," mostly because it got played to death, but I sang along dutifully with the rest of the crowd, because Kelly eats that shit up. Also, when she was talking about the song, she mentioned how she got to re-record it with Reba McEntire, who is one of her "idols"--she said it with the air quotes--and then she supplied her own rimshot, and no one was really listening, because they were all going crazy in anticipation for the song or something, but I died laughing. Number one, because she's still hung up on being the American Idol (poor girl), and number two, she supplied her own rim shot for a lame joke. If you can even call it a joke. Adorable!
While we're talking about Kelly Clarkson songs I don't like, let me tell you about "Breakaway." First of all, that song title should be two words, because it is a two-part verb. Like "Walk Away." Second, I hate that song. I hate it like I hate "A Moment Like This." It's so lame. And cheesy. And even when she does it live, I kind of can't stand it. But I sang along anyway, because that is what you do at a Kelly Clarkson concert.
Her hair was short and blonde, which means that in those pictures where she has the long, wavy brown hair, she's wearing a weave (weeds), shoo. Blah. I don't like it when she's blonde. I much prefer pretty brunette Kelly Clarkson. But the length of her hair was cute. I approve of that. That was also why I didn't buy a tour t-shirt. In the pictures, it was so obvious her hair was fake, I wasn't feelin' it. Not worth the $35. She had a cute brown hooded sweatshirt that I would have bought had it not been $60. Sixty dollars! Brandi's was $35. Dammit, Kelly Clarkson, you're too famous.
So here's a thing I realized when I was driving home last night: my Kelly Clarkson obsession comes and goes in waves. Like, it was crazy after she won Idol, so crazy that I went to see From Justin to Kelly in the theater. Possibly more than once. Then it kind of waned until she put out Breakaway, and I couldn't stop listening to that for months, and then it kind of waned again until August '05 when Katy and I decided to go on up to Manchester and see if we could get tickets the night of the show. And we did! And the show was awesome! (I miss Katy.) Then I made my dad get me tickets to her summer of '06 show for a graduation present, and I got totally obsessed again, and the obsession didn't really abate until...um, I fell in love with Brandi Carlile. Which happened gradually, because it didn't happen right after her show in Boston, because I was still hyped up about Kelly's new album coming out in a month (I think?), and then it didn't happen right after the Hampton Beach show--it was happening before that--but it was after that that I decided I definitely liked her better than Kelly. So, anyway, I've decided that were it not for this crazy Brandi Carlile thing, I'd have fallen crazy in love with Kelly again after last night and been all, "I need to see her again immediately!" like I was after the other two concerts. Now that emotion is reserved for Ms. Carlile. She has most definitely earned it, because when I saw her again immediately after one concert, she was even better. Believe it.
Oh! I forgot the second best part. She was barefoot, like she always is, but I never love it any less.
Ahem, anyway, Kelly Clarkson pictures are up. Enjoy, beeyotches.What's she gonna say?
Okay, I've been trying to resist the urge to do this all day, but I can't help it.
Who looks cuter pretending to be a Red Sox fan?
The girl from Washington?
Or the girl from Texas?
All right, internet, if you're out there, and you have an opinion hit me with it. I can't make up my mind.
Oh, ps, I didn't take that picture of Brandi. Some other beautiful human did. Thanks, beautiful human!
Who looks cuter pretending to be a Red Sox fan?
The girl from Washington?
Or the girl from Texas?All right, internet, if you're out there, and you have an opinion hit me with it. I can't make up my mind.
Oh, ps, I didn't take that picture of Brandi. Some other beautiful human did. Thanks, beautiful human!
October 23, 2007
I say these things so I can sleep at night
And now it is time, once again, for an overly dramatic post! (This one, though, is not about books.)
Oh my god, I can't believe I forgot about this until just now, because now I can't really remember the specifics (dammit), but, y'all. You know how I feel about the misuse of apostrophes (which is getting worse, I think). I saw a sign for something somewhere, and on this sign, a verb had an apostrophe in it. Like, it was just the singular form of the verb, not a contraction or anything. With an apostrophe. Like "write's" or something. What. The. Fuck!
Does anyone read anymore? I blame that on the nation's tenuous grasp on the English language. No one knows how to use punctuation. Also, I think on that sign, they didn't use an apostrophe when they should have, in a possessive or something. Blargh. It made me so angry at the time, that sign, that I turned purple and could barely tell Mike what I had just seen, and then I must have repressed it. Because it was awful! Like nipple hair or Rachael Ray's face*!
Dammit, I really wish I could remember where that came from, so I could go back and document it and post it all over the internet, because this madness has got to stop!
*Actually, I kind of love Rachael Ray. That was just something from Drawn Together.
Oh my god, I can't believe I forgot about this until just now, because now I can't really remember the specifics (dammit), but, y'all. You know how I feel about the misuse of apostrophes (which is getting worse, I think). I saw a sign for something somewhere, and on this sign, a verb had an apostrophe in it. Like, it was just the singular form of the verb, not a contraction or anything. With an apostrophe. Like "write's" or something. What. The. Fuck!
Does anyone read anymore? I blame that on the nation's tenuous grasp on the English language. No one knows how to use punctuation. Also, I think on that sign, they didn't use an apostrophe when they should have, in a possessive or something. Blargh. It made me so angry at the time, that sign, that I turned purple and could barely tell Mike what I had just seen, and then I must have repressed it. Because it was awful! Like nipple hair or Rachael Ray's face*!
Dammit, I really wish I could remember where that came from, so I could go back and document it and post it all over the internet, because this madness has got to stop!
*Actually, I kind of love Rachael Ray. That was just something from Drawn Together.
October 22, 2007
Things I need to remember
"She looks like one of those fish that has eyes on both sides of its flat self (a flounder, to be specific). She reminds me of Ann Coulter, which means that she probably smells like one of those fish that has eyes on both sides of its flat self, as well." --FourFour
"Last time I checked, we're in the United States. And in the United States, we clearly speak English. That language I don't understand, and therefore it makes me angry." --Kelly's mom
"I had no idea that you ate food at brunch; I was always given to understand that brunch was some kind of French term for 'we're drinking in the morning.' This is fascinating. I do enjoy a nice egg dish with my alcoholism." --Jacob
Rerip that Semisonic song "Gone to the Movies." It's been fucked up for, like, eight years. Christ.
Stop asking questions you don't really want answers to, because no matter how rhetorical they sound in your head, people will always try to answer them. Not that I don't appreciate the effort, people--I'd rather just save you that effort, because...it's wasted on this ungrateful girl.
Re-rip Goldfly, because the audio is really bizarre on all the tracks and has also been that way for, like, eight years.
Fraggle Rock, season three, is out on DVD. Purchase that bad boy.
"Last time I checked, we're in the United States. And in the United States, we clearly speak English. That language I don't understand, and therefore it makes me angry." --Kelly's mom
"I had no idea that you ate food at brunch; I was always given to understand that brunch was some kind of French term for 'we're drinking in the morning.' This is fascinating. I do enjoy a nice egg dish with my alcoholism." --Jacob
Rerip that Semisonic song "Gone to the Movies." It's been fucked up for, like, eight years. Christ.
Stop asking questions you don't really want answers to, because no matter how rhetorical they sound in your head, people will always try to answer them. Not that I don't appreciate the effort, people--I'd rather just save you that effort, because...it's wasted on this ungrateful girl.
Re-rip Goldfly, because the audio is really bizarre on all the tracks and has also been that way for, like, eight years.
Fraggle Rock, season three, is out on DVD. Purchase that bad boy.
The Chippendales dancers are gay. They're gaaaaaaaaay.
Okay, I know by now this is old news, but I don't blog on the weekends, bitches. Anyway, Dumbledore is gay. Gay! He fell in love with Grindelwald! And while it's, like, really nice to know that Jo is aware of the existence of the gays, it's kind of crappy that this is an after-the-fact revelation. Like, "Now that the books are over I can tell you that one of my characters was gay--and you had no idea!" What is the point of that, exactly? To have a secretly gay character? Though I have no idea how Dumbledore's preference for dudes would have even come up--and it would have needlessly added to an already overstuffed story. I don't know. What am I trying to say? I like that Dumbledore is gay; I just wish it was something known about him that just didn't matter, you know? But I can just see Ron freaking out about it, can't you? He would be all, "Harry, Dumbledore likes blokes. What if that's why he wants to do private lessons with you?" Because, as much as I love him, Ron is kind of an asshole. And Hermione would freak out about how Dumbledore would never do something so inappropriate, and Harry would be kind of uncomfortable for a while, but he would soon see that Dumbledore's sexuality has absolutely nothing to do with his capacity to be a teacher/mentor/fighter of evil--or with his obvious fondness for young Mr. Potter. And then perhaps all the tiny children who read Harry Potter could see that gay people are just as awesome and normal as (or more awesome and normal than--or maybe I'm just biased) straight people.
But it totally wouldn't have fit into the narrative, because those books are already jam-packed with a million other mostly useless bits of trivia. Anyway, hurrah for the existence of gay wizards. That's what I'm trying to say.
In other news: the Red Sox are awesome. Josh Beckett and I may have to become Mormons so I can marry my other imaginary straight boyfriend, Dustin Pedroia. If I ever write a love song, Dustin, I think I'll write it about you. Also, Kevin Youkilis is amazing, and even if Coco Crisp can't hit, he can make some sweet catches out there in center field. I'm still sad, though, that my imaginary straight ex-boyfriend Trot Nixon was on the wrong team this time. (We had to break up when he moved to Cleveland--the distance was too much. So was the fact that he was no longer on the Red Sox.) His replacement, J.D. Drew, finally earned his keep, though, with that grand slam Saturday night. That was pretty sweet. Not sweet enough for me to like him more than Trot, though. Oh no.
But it totally wouldn't have fit into the narrative, because those books are already jam-packed with a million other mostly useless bits of trivia. Anyway, hurrah for the existence of gay wizards. That's what I'm trying to say.
In other news: the Red Sox are awesome. Josh Beckett and I may have to become Mormons so I can marry my other imaginary straight boyfriend, Dustin Pedroia. If I ever write a love song, Dustin, I think I'll write it about you. Also, Kevin Youkilis is amazing, and even if Coco Crisp can't hit, he can make some sweet catches out there in center field. I'm still sad, though, that my imaginary straight ex-boyfriend Trot Nixon was on the wrong team this time. (We had to break up when he moved to Cleveland--the distance was too much. So was the fact that he was no longer on the Red Sox.) His replacement, J.D. Drew, finally earned his keep, though, with that grand slam Saturday night. That was pretty sweet. Not sweet enough for me to like him more than Trot, though. Oh no.
Leave me where I am
Do you want to know a dumb thing that I did? I did it right here on this blog, but I feel the need to call attention to it now. In the throes of fangirl geekdom, I proclaimed Kelly Clarkson's new record the best album of 2007, with apologies to the White Stripes (Icky Thump is good, people). Do you know which album of 2007 is better than both My December and Icky Thump combined? I'll let you guess. Take your time. I'll tell you if you're right tomorrow. Right now, I have to go feel like an idiot some more for completely forgetting that this album came out in 2007. Sigh.
Tell me an old story
Kelly Clarkson's at the Orpheum tonight, and I'm trying to get excited, but I'm kind of failing. Once again, I must say, "What the fuck, Brandi Carlile?" Seriously, she's ruined all other live performers for me. Also, she totally stole Kelly's place in my heart back in August--I think before I even saw her in Hampton Beach. So at that point, I'd only seen her live once--and Kelly twice--and she just bashed Kelly right off the first place pedestal of Emily's Imaginary Girlfriends. I think I'm kind of blech about this show because at least half of the audience is going to be eight-year-old girls. Out late on a school night! For shame, parents.
Now I'm kind of embarrassed that I, like, loved Kelly Clarkson so much because of the teeny bopper aspect. She's still got an amazing voice, and I still think she's quite beautiful, but at the end of the day, she is a pop star. But why is that bad? What is my problem? The girl puts on a good show, but after the American Idol concert, I'm just kind of cringing in anticipation of all the children flailing around the Orpheum. I have never seen children at the Orpheum. It will be weird. Also, oh my god, eight-year-old girls shriek like there's no tomorrow, and that shit will echo and reverberate all around the theater, and I will want to die. What was I thinking? Though, if I didn't have tickets, I'd be like, "Why didn't I get tickets? What is my problem? How can I miss Kelly Clarkson?"
Okay, so really, what is my problem? I know what my problem is, actually. Starts with b, ends with e, and is two words long.
So obviously, The Story is the album of the year, but at the time that I wrote that thing about My December's being album of the year, I still liked Kelly better than Brandi. Foolish. I'm mostly just mad I forgot about The Story in thinking of other good albums of 2007 that Kelly's could best. I was also all up in a twist, because everyone seemed to be panning Kelly's album, and I totally loved it. Best album to date from this girl. But not better than The Story. I mean, come on.
Now I'm kind of embarrassed that I, like, loved Kelly Clarkson so much because of the teeny bopper aspect. She's still got an amazing voice, and I still think she's quite beautiful, but at the end of the day, she is a pop star. But why is that bad? What is my problem? The girl puts on a good show, but after the American Idol concert, I'm just kind of cringing in anticipation of all the children flailing around the Orpheum. I have never seen children at the Orpheum. It will be weird. Also, oh my god, eight-year-old girls shriek like there's no tomorrow, and that shit will echo and reverberate all around the theater, and I will want to die. What was I thinking? Though, if I didn't have tickets, I'd be like, "Why didn't I get tickets? What is my problem? How can I miss Kelly Clarkson?"
Okay, so really, what is my problem? I know what my problem is, actually. Starts with b, ends with e, and is two words long.
So obviously, The Story is the album of the year, but at the time that I wrote that thing about My December's being album of the year, I still liked Kelly better than Brandi. Foolish. I'm mostly just mad I forgot about The Story in thinking of other good albums of 2007 that Kelly's could best. I was also all up in a twist, because everyone seemed to be panning Kelly's album, and I totally loved it. Best album to date from this girl. But not better than The Story. I mean, come on.
October 19, 2007
Did it give you vaccination?
Ew. Do you know how gross it is for me to hear Brandi Carlile sing a love song with a guy? Especially the guy from Train? But for some reason, I can't stop listening to this "Pirate on the Run" song. At least half of the reason is the title. I...love pirates (even if this guy is only a metaphorical pirate and not the eye-patch, peg-leg kind. It is kind of fun to pretend he is. And then Brandi's the fortune-telling gypsy with the bandanna around her head and the spangly jewelry--okay, that's weird, and I need to stop). Of course the other half of the reason is that no matter what words are coming out of her mouth, I...can't not listen to Brandi Carlile sing.
And I even actually tried this week. I tried to go back to putting my whole iTunes collection (5551 songs!) on shuffle, but iTunes kept playing Brandi Carlile (perhaps because I have 188 Brandi Carlile songs--more than any other iTunes artist, even The Beatles), and I was like, well, why resist. Right? So here we are, Friday morning, I'm listening to Brandi sing about pirates and make fun of Phil. Also! I love when she talks about the Indigo Girls, because, sometimes, she ends up saying my naaaaaame. (I am a dooorrrk.)
I also tried this week to write blog posts that had nothing to do with this girl, but I think I only wrote...four. And one of them was three sentences about the Red Sox (about whom she only ever pretended to care, and no I'm not still upset about that or anything). Oh, by the way! What did I tell you? My imaginary straight boyfriend Josh Beckett kept us in it! I kind of want to imaginarily hetero-marry him now. And I don't care, y'all, I still love Dustin Pedroia, and I'm sad that Coco hasn't gotten a hit, but I do kind of love Jacoby these days. But it makes me sad that Trot Nixon is on the Indians. I miss you, Trot.
Here's a thing that has nothing to do with Brandi Carlile or the Red Sox: I hate Pink, but I love that song "U + UR Hand" just for the line "It's just you and your hand tonight." (I refuse to repeat the title the way Pink spells it, because augh! Doing it once gave me a rash!) I guess I just love pop culture references to masturbation. Also, that's such a slam to a guy, I feel--no one's goin' home with you but your hand, because you suck! Mwahahaha. Ahem. Also, I hate Pink, like I said, but I love that Indigo Girls' song "Rock 'n Roll Heaven's Gate," on which she sings, like, the background responses to Amy Ray's lines. Like, what's up, Emily? Why couldn't you have just sung that stuff? Or anyone but Pink! That other girl you had on your album, for example. What was her name? Okay, so she did do it live with them, and it was much improved by the subtraction of Pink and the addition of Brandi (and the boys!), and I should really try to find the live version. I'll have to youtube somethin' fierce when I get out from under the office firewall.
Look at that. I guess that did, in fact, end up having something to with Brandi Carlile.
Do you know what I hate about my sneakers? I have to untie them to put them back on. Not to take them off. Just to put them back on, because I can never manage to wriggle into them if they're tied. And if I tie them loosely, they fall off my feet. Possibly because they are too big. Curse you, Chuck Taylor, and your bizarro sizing. And curse me and my laziness for not trying them on in the store and then also not returning them because that's a pain in the ass. (I don't think I've ever returned anything in my life, and now that I have to do it at work for bitchy people who bought the wrong soap scent, I don't think I ever will.) That's my favorite thing about sandals, no tying necessary. They come on and off with ease. Also, no socks required. I hate socks. But I hate wearing sneakers without socks more than that. But these sneakers are bright red, and I love bright red things. I built my own pair of Chuck Taylors on the Converse website, blue with red stitching, but they cost $60 or some shit. Maybe when these red ones fall apart, I'll spring for the custom built pair. Size eight. Not eight and a half. I learned my lesson there.
And I even actually tried this week. I tried to go back to putting my whole iTunes collection (5551 songs!) on shuffle, but iTunes kept playing Brandi Carlile (perhaps because I have 188 Brandi Carlile songs--more than any other iTunes artist, even The Beatles), and I was like, well, why resist. Right? So here we are, Friday morning, I'm listening to Brandi sing about pirates and make fun of Phil. Also! I love when she talks about the Indigo Girls, because, sometimes, she ends up saying my naaaaaame. (I am a dooorrrk.)
I also tried this week to write blog posts that had nothing to do with this girl, but I think I only wrote...four. And one of them was three sentences about the Red Sox (about whom she only ever pretended to care, and no I'm not still upset about that or anything). Oh, by the way! What did I tell you? My imaginary straight boyfriend Josh Beckett kept us in it! I kind of want to imaginarily hetero-marry him now. And I don't care, y'all, I still love Dustin Pedroia, and I'm sad that Coco hasn't gotten a hit, but I do kind of love Jacoby these days. But it makes me sad that Trot Nixon is on the Indians. I miss you, Trot.
Here's a thing that has nothing to do with Brandi Carlile or the Red Sox: I hate Pink, but I love that song "U + UR Hand" just for the line "It's just you and your hand tonight." (I refuse to repeat the title the way Pink spells it, because augh! Doing it once gave me a rash!) I guess I just love pop culture references to masturbation. Also, that's such a slam to a guy, I feel--no one's goin' home with you but your hand, because you suck! Mwahahaha. Ahem. Also, I hate Pink, like I said, but I love that Indigo Girls' song "Rock 'n Roll Heaven's Gate," on which she sings, like, the background responses to Amy Ray's lines. Like, what's up, Emily? Why couldn't you have just sung that stuff? Or anyone but Pink! That other girl you had on your album, for example. What was her name? Okay, so she did do it live with them, and it was much improved by the subtraction of Pink and the addition of Brandi (and the boys!), and I should really try to find the live version. I'll have to youtube somethin' fierce when I get out from under the office firewall.
Look at that. I guess that did, in fact, end up having something to with Brandi Carlile.
Do you know what I hate about my sneakers? I have to untie them to put them back on. Not to take them off. Just to put them back on, because I can never manage to wriggle into them if they're tied. And if I tie them loosely, they fall off my feet. Possibly because they are too big. Curse you, Chuck Taylor, and your bizarro sizing. And curse me and my laziness for not trying them on in the store and then also not returning them because that's a pain in the ass. (I don't think I've ever returned anything in my life, and now that I have to do it at work for bitchy people who bought the wrong soap scent, I don't think I ever will.) That's my favorite thing about sandals, no tying necessary. They come on and off with ease. Also, no socks required. I hate socks. But I hate wearing sneakers without socks more than that. But these sneakers are bright red, and I love bright red things. I built my own pair of Chuck Taylors on the Converse website, blue with red stitching, but they cost $60 or some shit. Maybe when these red ones fall apart, I'll spring for the custom built pair. Size eight. Not eight and a half. I learned my lesson there.
October 18, 2007
I'm alone with my music and my tv
You know who else is really pretty? Sara Ramirez, from Grey's Anatomy. Prettier than Katherine Heigl, even, who holds the distinction of being the girl who got me to realize I was... kinda gay. When I was sixteen, and she was Isabel Evans on Roswell. Anyway! Sara Ramirez. Smokin'.
However. I can't watch Grey's Anatomy anymore. It's so fucking stupid, this George-Callie-Izzie triangle. And I still don't get how Meredith's father abandoned her when she was five, and she somehow has a half-sister who's only a year behind her in medical training. Did it take Meredith five extra years to finish med school? I blame all this on Marti Noxon, the woman who ruined Buffy, getting involved with this show sometime last year. She ruins everything.
But seriously, this George and Izzie thing is so stupid. Even if Callie weren't in the picture, I'd still hate it. George and Izzie are friends! Why can't straight men and straight women ever be friends on television? There always has to be some sort of awkward sexual thing, and that is retarded. Last season, I decided that if Bailey, Addison, Callie, and Cristina had their own show, it would probably be the best show on television. I really liked the scenes with just Callie and Addison, especially. Also, I used to love Izzie, because, you know, Katherine Heigl made me gay, but she was fun, too. Now she's just a stupid, spineless shrew. When she killed Denny, I was kind of like, "whuuuuuh?" but she redeemed herself a bit, somehow, and then she just got retarded about George and Callie, and it sucked. I don't like having to hate Katherine Heigl! This happened on Roswell, too--she was awesome in the first season, and then she slowly began to suck bigger and bigger rocks until she got married in the third season (and possibly graduated high school early or something) at the age of...well, nineteen at the oldest. Ridiculous! I pretty much stopped watching Roswell after Tess killed Alex, but I was vaguely aware of what happened in the third season, thanks to Ryan's entirely obsessive nature. And the fact that I couldn't quite let go of Isabel.
Aw, I really used to like Grey's--I even bawled like a baby during that three-part episode when Meredith died. That was so emotionally manipulative on purpose, but sometimes I don't care, and I just roll with it, and I cry, because sometimes you need to cry. Like when Beth dies in Little Women--you always need to cry when that happens. Unless it's the movie. I mean, no one loves Claire Danes more than I do, but she...didn't make me cry when she died. Winona Ryder kind of made me cry when she realized Beth was dead. Once or twice. Also, Winona Ryder as Jo March is really, really, really pretty, which is one of those things that bugs, because she had to be all, "I'm so plain, and I cut off all my hair, which was the only thing that was not hideous about me," and, like, you're Winona Ryder. Shut up. I know that was essential to Jo March as a character or whatever, but it's kind of a crock when your visual representation of Jo March is Winona Ryder. But you can't have plain people playing leading roles in Hollywood. That only happens in BBC adaptations of Jane Eyre. Or whoever did that one with Timothy Dalton.
Now onto something entirely different! At work last night, Liza told me that some dude came into the store looking for a girl with glasses "who said she was a lesbian." And I was, like, "What! I haven't been going around telling people, 'I work at Bath & Body Works, and also I'm a big dyke.'" Then I thought it might have been somebody Mike and I met at the 3, but...I don't talk to the people Mike and I meet at the 3 about myself. And then Liza said the dude said he met this girl (or the girl told him she worked) at one of those temporary Halloween stores somewhere in Nashua. So it was definitely not me he was looking for. Plus, apparently, a lot of lesbians work at the Salem B&BW, so maybe this mystery bespectacled lez works in Salem. Anyway. That was weird.
Is anyone watching Gossip Girl? That girl who was in the Pants movie and was not as pretty when sharing the screen with America Ferrerra and Alexis Bledel looks really pretty in previews. And I never like blondes (unless they're Katherine Heigl). It looks like The O.C. East Coast style, and I don't have any time to watch tv, but maybe it would be entertaining? And it has a pretty girl in it? And apparently it was based on some books? I like books. I really should watch those episodes of Friday Night Lights I haven't seen. And I'm totally not watching Top Model, and my DVR is not recording 30 Rock (!) despite the fact that I've set up a series recording for it. That is making me very angry. Maybe tonight, when I get home from work, Chuck and I will watch some tv. Maybe I'll even watch those episodes of Grey's I haven't seen, because Sara Ramirez is hot, and the latest one has Edward Hermann on it! Woo.
However. I can't watch Grey's Anatomy anymore. It's so fucking stupid, this George-Callie-Izzie triangle. And I still don't get how Meredith's father abandoned her when she was five, and she somehow has a half-sister who's only a year behind her in medical training. Did it take Meredith five extra years to finish med school? I blame all this on Marti Noxon, the woman who ruined Buffy, getting involved with this show sometime last year. She ruins everything.
But seriously, this George and Izzie thing is so stupid. Even if Callie weren't in the picture, I'd still hate it. George and Izzie are friends! Why can't straight men and straight women ever be friends on television? There always has to be some sort of awkward sexual thing, and that is retarded. Last season, I decided that if Bailey, Addison, Callie, and Cristina had their own show, it would probably be the best show on television. I really liked the scenes with just Callie and Addison, especially. Also, I used to love Izzie, because, you know, Katherine Heigl made me gay, but she was fun, too. Now she's just a stupid, spineless shrew. When she killed Denny, I was kind of like, "whuuuuuh?" but she redeemed herself a bit, somehow, and then she just got retarded about George and Callie, and it sucked. I don't like having to hate Katherine Heigl! This happened on Roswell, too--she was awesome in the first season, and then she slowly began to suck bigger and bigger rocks until she got married in the third season (and possibly graduated high school early or something) at the age of...well, nineteen at the oldest. Ridiculous! I pretty much stopped watching Roswell after Tess killed Alex, but I was vaguely aware of what happened in the third season, thanks to Ryan's entirely obsessive nature. And the fact that I couldn't quite let go of Isabel.
Aw, I really used to like Grey's--I even bawled like a baby during that three-part episode when Meredith died. That was so emotionally manipulative on purpose, but sometimes I don't care, and I just roll with it, and I cry, because sometimes you need to cry. Like when Beth dies in Little Women--you always need to cry when that happens. Unless it's the movie. I mean, no one loves Claire Danes more than I do, but she...didn't make me cry when she died. Winona Ryder kind of made me cry when she realized Beth was dead. Once or twice. Also, Winona Ryder as Jo March is really, really, really pretty, which is one of those things that bugs, because she had to be all, "I'm so plain, and I cut off all my hair, which was the only thing that was not hideous about me," and, like, you're Winona Ryder. Shut up. I know that was essential to Jo March as a character or whatever, but it's kind of a crock when your visual representation of Jo March is Winona Ryder. But you can't have plain people playing leading roles in Hollywood. That only happens in BBC adaptations of Jane Eyre. Or whoever did that one with Timothy Dalton.
Now onto something entirely different! At work last night, Liza told me that some dude came into the store looking for a girl with glasses "who said she was a lesbian." And I was, like, "What! I haven't been going around telling people, 'I work at Bath & Body Works, and also I'm a big dyke.'" Then I thought it might have been somebody Mike and I met at the 3, but...I don't talk to the people Mike and I meet at the 3 about myself. And then Liza said the dude said he met this girl (or the girl told him she worked) at one of those temporary Halloween stores somewhere in Nashua. So it was definitely not me he was looking for. Plus, apparently, a lot of lesbians work at the Salem B&BW, so maybe this mystery bespectacled lez works in Salem. Anyway. That was weird.
Is anyone watching Gossip Girl? That girl who was in the Pants movie and was not as pretty when sharing the screen with America Ferrerra and Alexis Bledel looks really pretty in previews. And I never like blondes (unless they're Katherine Heigl). It looks like The O.C. East Coast style, and I don't have any time to watch tv, but maybe it would be entertaining? And it has a pretty girl in it? And apparently it was based on some books? I like books. I really should watch those episodes of Friday Night Lights I haven't seen. And I'm totally not watching Top Model, and my DVR is not recording 30 Rock (!) despite the fact that I've set up a series recording for it. That is making me very angry. Maybe tonight, when I get home from work, Chuck and I will watch some tv. Maybe I'll even watch those episodes of Grey's I haven't seen, because Sara Ramirez is hot, and the latest one has Edward Hermann on it! Woo.
Reachin' out
Christ, I almost forgot. The Red Sox are almost out of it. Tonight is our last chance. Let's not go down without a fucking fight, Boston. If anyone can keep us in it, my imaginary straight boyfriend Josh Beckett can.
October 17, 2007
If my dreams will allow
Okay, so I had the weirdest dream sometime this morning, in between Chuck's waking me up and my alarm's going off. I think. I never really share my dreams, but this one has been bugging me all day, so maybe if I blog it, I'll exorcise it and go back to my relatively undisturbed existence.
Anyway, I don't remember all the deets, but here's the basic premise: There's some kind of party going on at my house, specifically in my basement, which is the part of the house I inhabit, and while this party is going on, I have to get Charles Wallace to the vet for an appointment at 6:30. So for some reason, I'm in the car with my brother, and he's driving, and then I can't remember for the life of me where the vet is, because it's just moved from the place where it's been all my life to some new location. Of course. So I tell Tommy to turn around, so I can look the place up on the internet and get directions, and there's this, you know, dance party going on in my basement, so it's very difficult for me to use the computer and all, and then. Oh, and then. Brandi Carlile is there, like she's just one of my friends, and she keeps bugging me so that I cannot look up this place on the internet, and then I realize that it's seven o'clock, and I have totally failed to get my cat to the vet, because Brandi Carlile wouldn't let me use the internet, and I feel utterly defeated and like, "What the fuck, Brandi Carlile?" Then that nonsense is gone, and I'm upstairs talking to somebody, Sarah I think, about how I couldn't get Chuck to the vet, and I go, "You know what it's like down there, and that's where my computer is, and, ugh, Brandi kept bugging me"--like, really, I would even remember I had a cat if Brandi Carlile were in my basement. I was so mad at myself for even having that subconscious thought when I woke up this morning. Anyway, then that mess disappears, and I'm suddenly outside by a pool with Abby from work, bemoaning the fact that I always fall for girls who are either straight or involved with somebody, and Brandi got included in this list, because apparently she was still my friend, and I had this knowledge that she was, like, gay-married to some betch (which is apparently my subconscious's biggest fear). Then the house party turns into some kind of mother-daughter bonding party, only the Devil is there (without a mother or a daughter...), and I don't like the tone she's using to talk to my mother, so I yell at her, saying something like, "I know you have no problem talking to your employees like they're brain damaged, but you could show a little respect when you're talking to my mother," and she gives some kind of flip, sarcastic retort and walks away, but I chase her and say something about her sarcasm being really professional, and then my alarm went off, and I was like, "What. The fuck."
Seriously, that was horrible. That was the only time Brandi Carlile has ever made an appearance in a dream of mine, and it sucked! And the Devil was there! Like, way to make it suck worse!
Maybe I really do need to quit Bath & Body Works.
Anyway, I don't remember all the deets, but here's the basic premise: There's some kind of party going on at my house, specifically in my basement, which is the part of the house I inhabit, and while this party is going on, I have to get Charles Wallace to the vet for an appointment at 6:30. So for some reason, I'm in the car with my brother, and he's driving, and then I can't remember for the life of me where the vet is, because it's just moved from the place where it's been all my life to some new location. Of course. So I tell Tommy to turn around, so I can look the place up on the internet and get directions, and there's this, you know, dance party going on in my basement, so it's very difficult for me to use the computer and all, and then. Oh, and then. Brandi Carlile is there, like she's just one of my friends, and she keeps bugging me so that I cannot look up this place on the internet, and then I realize that it's seven o'clock, and I have totally failed to get my cat to the vet, because Brandi Carlile wouldn't let me use the internet, and I feel utterly defeated and like, "What the fuck, Brandi Carlile?" Then that nonsense is gone, and I'm upstairs talking to somebody, Sarah I think, about how I couldn't get Chuck to the vet, and I go, "You know what it's like down there, and that's where my computer is, and, ugh, Brandi kept bugging me"--like, really, I would even remember I had a cat if Brandi Carlile were in my basement. I was so mad at myself for even having that subconscious thought when I woke up this morning. Anyway, then that mess disappears, and I'm suddenly outside by a pool with Abby from work, bemoaning the fact that I always fall for girls who are either straight or involved with somebody, and Brandi got included in this list, because apparently she was still my friend, and I had this knowledge that she was, like, gay-married to some betch (which is apparently my subconscious's biggest fear). Then the house party turns into some kind of mother-daughter bonding party, only the Devil is there (without a mother or a daughter...), and I don't like the tone she's using to talk to my mother, so I yell at her, saying something like, "I know you have no problem talking to your employees like they're brain damaged, but you could show a little respect when you're talking to my mother," and she gives some kind of flip, sarcastic retort and walks away, but I chase her and say something about her sarcasm being really professional, and then my alarm went off, and I was like, "What. The fuck."
Seriously, that was horrible. That was the only time Brandi Carlile has ever made an appearance in a dream of mine, and it sucked! And the Devil was there! Like, way to make it suck worse!
Maybe I really do need to quit Bath & Body Works.
Sometimes it feels like the walls are closing in
I just became overwhelmed by a craving for chocolate milk and Smartfood Popcorn, which I think is up there in my bizarre cravings list. Luckily, both are in the house, so I satisfied that craving right quick.
Working at Bath & Body Works sucks, and I don't care who knows it. Besides the managerial... issues, I just hate having two jobs. I have no free time, no days off, no time to see Mike or Charles Wallace or even to watch all the television on my DVR. Why am I doing this? For the measly $100 every two weeks? It's beginning to be so not worth it. The only thing is that, with the exception of one person who is, like, ruining it for everyone, I love the people who work there. When I'm actually at work, as long as that one person isn't there, I kind of have a blast, but... There are so many other things I would rather be doing. You know? More than anything these days, I hate having to work on the weekends.
However, the responsible side of me is telling me to stick it our through Christmas, so I can at least make some money, and then quit.
Working at Bath & Body Works sucks, and I don't care who knows it. Besides the managerial... issues, I just hate having two jobs. I have no free time, no days off, no time to see Mike or Charles Wallace or even to watch all the television on my DVR. Why am I doing this? For the measly $100 every two weeks? It's beginning to be so not worth it. The only thing is that, with the exception of one person who is, like, ruining it for everyone, I love the people who work there. When I'm actually at work, as long as that one person isn't there, I kind of have a blast, but... There are so many other things I would rather be doing. You know? More than anything these days, I hate having to work on the weekends.
However, the responsible side of me is telling me to stick it our through Christmas, so I can at least make some money, and then quit.
October 16, 2007
Warning! Cat blog!
You know what sucks about having a pet? Cleaning up after it. I hate cleaning up after things. I totally want to spend $200 on a frickin' Roomba, so I don't have to vacuum ever again. But yeah. I definitely have to go home tonight and clean up after Charles Wallace. And me. I leave his empty food cans just sitting on the counter downstairs, and of course the litterbox has to be emptied, and blah, blah, blah. I also have to do laundry, but since the laundry doesn't stink up the basement like the litterbox can (and I still have clean underwear!), that will take a backseat. A wicked backseat.
Also, these days, he's been howling at night, waking me up every two hours, and I cannot abide that. Yesterday I couldn't even get out of bed until 8:10, and thus I lost my opportunity to shower before work, and that was gross. He's such a whiner. And he's not like a kid, who will shut up if you ignore him long enough. Oh no. He has howling stamina. So if he howls, you have to pay attention to him, or he will legit howl all night long. Blargh. If only cute animals weren't nocturnal.
Anyway, despite all these horrible inconveniences, the little guy's worth it. I think I'll keep him around for a while. I mean, you'd have to have a heart of cold, dead marble to get rid of this little guy, right?
Also, these days, he's been howling at night, waking me up every two hours, and I cannot abide that. Yesterday I couldn't even get out of bed until 8:10, and thus I lost my opportunity to shower before work, and that was gross. He's such a whiner. And he's not like a kid, who will shut up if you ignore him long enough. Oh no. He has howling stamina. So if he howls, you have to pay attention to him, or he will legit howl all night long. Blargh. If only cute animals weren't nocturnal.
Anyway, despite all these horrible inconveniences, the little guy's worth it. I think I'll keep him around for a while. I mean, you'd have to have a heart of cold, dead marble to get rid of this little guy, right?
October 15, 2007
The DJ is asleep
Last night, Jess and I returned to the Orpheum to see Regina Spektor, who we both love, but who seemed to suffer from performing only a week after Brandi (and A Fine Frenzy, with whom Jess is now completely obsessed--almost as bad as I am with Brandi). I mean, Regina was fantastic, but I was still kinda like, well... Brandi was better. Plus, our seats weren't as good, and my pictures didn't come out as well. And also, not Brandi.
The Orpheum is a bizarro place for a show, I have decided. It made Regina crazy nervous, too. She forgot the words to "On the Radio" and messed up the piano intro for "Flowers," but then she got it under control. And was awesome. But the Orpheum is weird, because no matter where you are, you can hear everything, and it was super quiet in between her songs, too. We were further back from the stage, beneath the mezzanine seats, and I just felt kind of awkward. Fortunately, it was not as crazy hot as it was last Friday, but it still got kind of uncomfortably warm in there.
Okay, so despite the fact that she is not Brandi Carlile, Regina Spektor is a lot of fun to see live. She did a bunch of my fave songs of hers, beginning with "On the Radio." And she did an awesome version of "Poor Little Rich Boy," during which she played piano and percussion on a wooden chair--at the same time. It was just her and her piano, too, and I was trying to remember if she'd had a band when she'd played at the Avalon, and I think she did. Have a band. Also, she didn't talk in between songs at all, unless she wanted to share the name of a song. She talked during the songs, when she'd mess up, which was fun, and then I got to thinking about other people I've seen live, and I think Brandi is pretty much the most talkative performer I have ever seen. Which I love. It was weird, I remember now, because when she opened for the Indigo Girls, she babbled as usual, but then the Indigo Girls didn't talk at all. Except to bring her back onstage with them. And to say thanks for comin' out and stuff. But Brandi always has a story, and I can't get enough of them.
See? I can't stop comparing every live show I've ever seen to Brandi. Which means Kelly Clarkson is going to crash and burn next Tuesday. And she's even up there in the category of awesome live performers. But Brandi wins, y'all, Brandi wins.
Anyway, back to Regina. She killed, and the audience lost their effing minds, and the audience sounded so much louder than they had at Brandi's show, and I think Regina sold the place out, but Brandi didn't. It also could have been our seats made me more susceptible to crowd noise, I don't know. Also, the show seemed to go by really fast. Like, when she left the stage before the encore, I was like, "Really? Didn't she only play, like, eight songs?" But she played more than eight songs, I promise. She did a bangarang version of "Hotel Song," which is my favorite song from Begin to Hope, with Only Son, the fool who opened for her. He did some hipster version of beat-boxing, and she was clearly having a blast, and I totally dug it. This also marks the fourth show in a row I've been to where the opener came out and sang with the headliner. I don't think I'd ever even seen that before Brandi did it with the Indigo Girls. I think I love it. As long as the opener's good. And Only Son was okay, but he did a good job for Regina, and that is what matters.
"Fidelity" sounds much better live, and I will never get tired of hearing "Samson." But when it was over, I was just kind of like, "Yeah, that was cool." Not like, "I must now drive three hours to see her again." But... No, it was fun. I just wish I'd seen her before Brandi--or, like, a month later. Then I think I would have been more into it.
Also, I think I like watching bands live better than just, you know, the one performer, because bands will play off of each other and have fun, and if the band is having fun, the audience has fun, and if you're just up there by yourself, kinda nervous, it's kinda weird for the audience. Maybe that's what it was? But it has to be a band band, not just, you know, a solo artist who has a touring band. Or maybe it's just that I cannot let go of Brandi Carlile and her band. Maybe I need help. The exception to this rule, I've just realized, is Ben Folds, but he's never nervous, and he talks to the audience and gets them to sing his back-up harmonies, too. He's fun. But not nearly as pretty as Brandi.
Pictures are here. There aren't that many, not only because Regina is also not as pretty as Brandi, but because I couldn't get very many good ones. Or maybe any good ones. Oh well.
The Orpheum is a bizarro place for a show, I have decided. It made Regina crazy nervous, too. She forgot the words to "On the Radio" and messed up the piano intro for "Flowers," but then she got it under control. And was awesome. But the Orpheum is weird, because no matter where you are, you can hear everything, and it was super quiet in between her songs, too. We were further back from the stage, beneath the mezzanine seats, and I just felt kind of awkward. Fortunately, it was not as crazy hot as it was last Friday, but it still got kind of uncomfortably warm in there.
Okay, so despite the fact that she is not Brandi Carlile, Regina Spektor is a lot of fun to see live. She did a bunch of my fave songs of hers, beginning with "On the Radio." And she did an awesome version of "Poor Little Rich Boy," during which she played piano and percussion on a wooden chair--at the same time. It was just her and her piano, too, and I was trying to remember if she'd had a band when she'd played at the Avalon, and I think she did. Have a band. Also, she didn't talk in between songs at all, unless she wanted to share the name of a song. She talked during the songs, when she'd mess up, which was fun, and then I got to thinking about other people I've seen live, and I think Brandi is pretty much the most talkative performer I have ever seen. Which I love. It was weird, I remember now, because when she opened for the Indigo Girls, she babbled as usual, but then the Indigo Girls didn't talk at all. Except to bring her back onstage with them. And to say thanks for comin' out and stuff. But Brandi always has a story, and I can't get enough of them.
See? I can't stop comparing every live show I've ever seen to Brandi. Which means Kelly Clarkson is going to crash and burn next Tuesday. And she's even up there in the category of awesome live performers. But Brandi wins, y'all, Brandi wins.
Anyway, back to Regina. She killed, and the audience lost their effing minds, and the audience sounded so much louder than they had at Brandi's show, and I think Regina sold the place out, but Brandi didn't. It also could have been our seats made me more susceptible to crowd noise, I don't know. Also, the show seemed to go by really fast. Like, when she left the stage before the encore, I was like, "Really? Didn't she only play, like, eight songs?" But she played more than eight songs, I promise. She did a bangarang version of "Hotel Song," which is my favorite song from Begin to Hope, with Only Son, the fool who opened for her. He did some hipster version of beat-boxing, and she was clearly having a blast, and I totally dug it. This also marks the fourth show in a row I've been to where the opener came out and sang with the headliner. I don't think I'd ever even seen that before Brandi did it with the Indigo Girls. I think I love it. As long as the opener's good. And Only Son was okay, but he did a good job for Regina, and that is what matters.
"Fidelity" sounds much better live, and I will never get tired of hearing "Samson." But when it was over, I was just kind of like, "Yeah, that was cool." Not like, "I must now drive three hours to see her again." But... No, it was fun. I just wish I'd seen her before Brandi--or, like, a month later. Then I think I would have been more into it.
Also, I think I like watching bands live better than just, you know, the one performer, because bands will play off of each other and have fun, and if the band is having fun, the audience has fun, and if you're just up there by yourself, kinda nervous, it's kinda weird for the audience. Maybe that's what it was? But it has to be a band band, not just, you know, a solo artist who has a touring band. Or maybe it's just that I cannot let go of Brandi Carlile and her band. Maybe I need help. The exception to this rule, I've just realized, is Ben Folds, but he's never nervous, and he talks to the audience and gets them to sing his back-up harmonies, too. He's fun. But not nearly as pretty as Brandi.
Pictures are here. There aren't that many, not only because Regina is also not as pretty as Brandi, but because I couldn't get very many good ones. Or maybe any good ones. Oh well.
October 12, 2007
I'm so sad since you went away
Y'all! Thanks to the growth of my obsession (and those fine folks at againtoday.com), I have found a recording of Brandi's cover of "I've Just Seen a Face" in which she gets all the words right. All of 'em. Even the tenses--she says "is" instead of "were," just like Paul. And the quality is bangarang. It's kind of comforting to know I'm not the only Brandi spaz out there in the universe. Also, I think Mike likes her more than Jess does. I just don't get Jess... (Props to worldfalls.com for the Brandi bootlegs, too.)
Speaking of covers, she does this one of Ray LaMontagne's "Burn," which just totally slays me. The lyrics are kind of melodramatic and crazy, but she totally sells it, and it almost made me cry at the Y yesterday. (Whatever, I'm emotional sometimes, bitches.) Also, I think I can only listen to Ray LaMontagne's songs when a girl covers them. Miss Clarkson did a sweet cover of "Shelter" that I totally love. But I totally don't love him. At all.
God, I can't stop. I'm still high from last weekend. Or going through withdrawal. I can't decide. (I know those things are complete opposites, but shut up. My emotions are complex.)
Speaking of covers, she does this one of Ray LaMontagne's "Burn," which just totally slays me. The lyrics are kind of melodramatic and crazy, but she totally sells it, and it almost made me cry at the Y yesterday. (Whatever, I'm emotional sometimes, bitches.) Also, I think I can only listen to Ray LaMontagne's songs when a girl covers them. Miss Clarkson did a sweet cover of "Shelter" that I totally love. But I totally don't love him. At all.
God, I can't stop. I'm still high from last weekend. Or going through withdrawal. I can't decide. (I know those things are complete opposites, but shut up. My emotions are complex.)
October 10, 2007
We don't all fall down
Forgive me, but I can't stop, because some beautiful, beautiful human taped the whole Vermont show and then torrented it last night, so now I'm listening to it, and it has reminded me of a thing. (Mad props to vanark for the recording and the sharing and the generally being awesome. If I had seen you there, I would have hugged you. And scared you, probably.)
Every single show, before they do "Folsom Prison Blues," Brandi goes, "[City]? Do you mind if we get a little bit country on you?" Boston? Burlington? (She, however, did not say "Hampton Beach? Do you mind..." Just "Do you mind..." But that's okay. I forgive her, because seriously. Hampton Beach is laaaame.) Anyway, it's adorable. I think she actually said, "Burlington, Vermont? Do you mind..." Like the whole thing, city and state, which I just find funny, because it sounds like a first name/last name thing. But there are a million Burlingtons in this country, so you have to specify. There's only one Boston, though (that matters).
Also, at some point, some lesbian yelled, "I love you, Brandi!" (like, surprise), and then after "Have You Ever," this same lesbian yelled, "I still love you!" which is the one Brandi heard, and she was like, "What? You still love me? Despite the fact that my band has mustaches, is that what you mean?" It was hilarious. For me, anyway. And Brandi was laughing. So there.
Oh, she was picking on Phil all night. Before "Turpentine," she was, like, "I'm gonna ask you all to sing along with me. But you gotta do it loud! Trust me, you'll like it. Let me lead you down this path. ... Don't let Phil lead you down any paths." And they were both giggling. Which you cannot hear on this recording, obv, but I saw the whole thing, and it cracked me up. Also, now it kind of makes me sad, the way she says, "You gotta do it loud!" Because Boston totally let her down. The Boston show was so weird, because obviously, everyone was going crazy for her, and she was awesome, but it was so quiet in between songs, it made her nervous, and then everyone totally punked out on the "Turpentine" harmonies, which I did not expect. At least Vermont cooperated and made Brandi feel better. Also, I am totally singing on this recording. Awesome. (Can't hear it or anything, but I know I'm in there, badly doing Brandi's part.) Everyone always laughs when we get to Phil's part, because his is the highest. It's fun. Good thing the shows are always almost entirely female.
She said something on Sunday too, about this being her favorite kind of show--she clearly feels much more comfortable in the nightclub/bar atmosphere. And I like that better, too. But when people do nightclub/bar performances in Boston, they do them at the Avalon, and the show has to end at ten because it turns into a dance club some indeterminate time after ten. And that sucks. And is what happened when Brandi performed at the Avalon. She loved it, I loved it, but it ended too early. Regina, too, when she was at the Avalon, even made a comment about how if they didn't have to turn the place into a hip nightclub, she'd play all night for us, because seriously, no one shows love like a Boston crowd at the Avalon. Stupid Avalon.
Anyway, I get the feeling that the Orpheum totally freaked her out. But she saw how Boston loved her, and I think that's what matters, right?
So in Vermont, some lez kept screaming, "It's Jody's birthday!" and Brandi finally heard her and was very sweet and wished Jody a happy birthday, and then she asked if there was anything Jody wanted them to play for her. And Jody blew it! I don't know what happened, but I heard Brandi say, "Oh now you've got nothing to say!" And then she listened and said, "Okay, in a bit, all right?" or something. Like, what the eff, Jody? If Brandi Carlile asked me if there was a song she and the boys could play for my birthday, I would be like, "Yes! I have a list. Here." Okay, not really, but I would at least try to request a song not on the setlist. I would be like, "Yes, can you play 'Over You'? Or 'The Clock'? Oh! Or 'Fall'? Or, um, 'Downpour.'" Because "Downpour" was not on the setlist, and it is my favorite Brandi song, and she would at least mos' def remember how to play it. Who knows if she would have actually played an extra song, but I would have at least tried. Way to drop the ball, Jody.
Boston pictures are cleaned up a bit, finally. Not as good as the Vermont ones, but I got more of the band in Boston. And a few of Tiffany, who came out after I gave up taking pictures in Vermont.
Every single show, before they do "Folsom Prison Blues," Brandi goes, "[City]? Do you mind if we get a little bit country on you?" Boston? Burlington? (She, however, did not say "Hampton Beach? Do you mind..." Just "Do you mind..." But that's okay. I forgive her, because seriously. Hampton Beach is laaaame.) Anyway, it's adorable. I think she actually said, "Burlington, Vermont? Do you mind..." Like the whole thing, city and state, which I just find funny, because it sounds like a first name/last name thing. But there are a million Burlingtons in this country, so you have to specify. There's only one Boston, though (that matters).
Also, at some point, some lesbian yelled, "I love you, Brandi!" (like, surprise), and then after "Have You Ever," this same lesbian yelled, "I still love you!" which is the one Brandi heard, and she was like, "What? You still love me? Despite the fact that my band has mustaches, is that what you mean?" It was hilarious. For me, anyway. And Brandi was laughing. So there.
Oh, she was picking on Phil all night. Before "Turpentine," she was, like, "I'm gonna ask you all to sing along with me. But you gotta do it loud! Trust me, you'll like it. Let me lead you down this path. ... Don't let Phil lead you down any paths." And they were both giggling. Which you cannot hear on this recording, obv, but I saw the whole thing, and it cracked me up. Also, now it kind of makes me sad, the way she says, "You gotta do it loud!" Because Boston totally let her down. The Boston show was so weird, because obviously, everyone was going crazy for her, and she was awesome, but it was so quiet in between songs, it made her nervous, and then everyone totally punked out on the "Turpentine" harmonies, which I did not expect. At least Vermont cooperated and made Brandi feel better. Also, I am totally singing on this recording. Awesome. (Can't hear it or anything, but I know I'm in there, badly doing Brandi's part.) Everyone always laughs when we get to Phil's part, because his is the highest. It's fun. Good thing the shows are always almost entirely female.
She said something on Sunday too, about this being her favorite kind of show--she clearly feels much more comfortable in the nightclub/bar atmosphere. And I like that better, too. But when people do nightclub/bar performances in Boston, they do them at the Avalon, and the show has to end at ten because it turns into a dance club some indeterminate time after ten. And that sucks. And is what happened when Brandi performed at the Avalon. She loved it, I loved it, but it ended too early. Regina, too, when she was at the Avalon, even made a comment about how if they didn't have to turn the place into a hip nightclub, she'd play all night for us, because seriously, no one shows love like a Boston crowd at the Avalon. Stupid Avalon.
Anyway, I get the feeling that the Orpheum totally freaked her out. But she saw how Boston loved her, and I think that's what matters, right?
So in Vermont, some lez kept screaming, "It's Jody's birthday!" and Brandi finally heard her and was very sweet and wished Jody a happy birthday, and then she asked if there was anything Jody wanted them to play for her. And Jody blew it! I don't know what happened, but I heard Brandi say, "Oh now you've got nothing to say!" And then she listened and said, "Okay, in a bit, all right?" or something. Like, what the eff, Jody? If Brandi Carlile asked me if there was a song she and the boys could play for my birthday, I would be like, "Yes! I have a list. Here." Okay, not really, but I would at least try to request a song not on the setlist. I would be like, "Yes, can you play 'Over You'? Or 'The Clock'? Oh! Or 'Fall'? Or, um, 'Downpour.'" Because "Downpour" was not on the setlist, and it is my favorite Brandi song, and she would at least mos' def remember how to play it. Who knows if she would have actually played an extra song, but I would have at least tried. Way to drop the ball, Jody.
Boston pictures are cleaned up a bit, finally. Not as good as the Vermont ones, but I got more of the band in Boston. And a few of Tiffany, who came out after I gave up taking pictures in Vermont.
October 9, 2007
Things I forgot to say
In Boston, when she went to the piano (I think), some fool yelled, "Yodel!" and she totally parroted it back, which I thought was hilarious. But then she did do the yodeling from "Cowboy's Sweetheart" much later--during her encore I think--while they were having technical difficulties. And it was fun. I kind of love that. It's not just Jewel who yodels, y'all. Somebody else yodeled at some concert I went to--someone I didn't expect to. It was either Regina Spektor or Kelly Clarkson. What do you think?
In Vermont, while Mike and I were listlessly waiting for the show to start, he said something about betwixt being a fun word, with which I immediately agreed, and then I tried to use it in a sentence, but I couldn't come up with anything, so I said, "What are we betwixt?" And he said, "We are betwixt a hot lesbian and a smelly fat dude," which was true. And it made me laugh.
Also! In a moment of personal triumph, I actually talked to the pretty girl standing next to me. For like five seconds. About Josh. And then she somehow got pushed closer to the stage. The end. Actually, not, because, um, this girl was really pretty, and I got like temporarily obsessed, and while she was still standing beside me, she started talking to two random girls about Allison, telling them she was from California, because they were standing behind her, wondering where she was from. Which was how my conversation with her had started, too--I just said something like, "Josh? Josh Josh?" (like, to myself--because I talk to myself; I can't help it) because some lesbians had yelled his name and waved, and there he was, standing up at the top of the stairs to the backstage area. And the girl next to me was, like, "He's their cellist," and I was, like, "Yeah, I know," and I realized that sounded kind of bitchy, so I said, "I didn't believe them at first," and she even continued this, saying she thought she'd recognized him, but she'd never yell up to him like the lesbians did. I told her I'd never do that either. And that was the end of the conversation. But I am telling you this story, because when I am standing around, unable not to listen to other people's conversations, I answer all their questions in my head, just like this girl was doing--except she was actually answering questions outside of her head. So she's a know-it-all just like me, just with 100% less crippling shyness. Also, the weird thing was that she looked familiar, like I'd seen her at the Boston show--or maybe at the Hampton Beach show with the Indigo Girls. Which is possible, I suppose.
Anyway, now that I sound even crazier, I'll leave you with this:
The Vermont pictures are up, rotated and captioned, with the crappier ones weeded out.
In Vermont, while Mike and I were listlessly waiting for the show to start, he said something about betwixt being a fun word, with which I immediately agreed, and then I tried to use it in a sentence, but I couldn't come up with anything, so I said, "What are we betwixt?" And he said, "We are betwixt a hot lesbian and a smelly fat dude," which was true. And it made me laugh.
Also! In a moment of personal triumph, I actually talked to the pretty girl standing next to me. For like five seconds. About Josh. And then she somehow got pushed closer to the stage. The end. Actually, not, because, um, this girl was really pretty, and I got like temporarily obsessed, and while she was still standing beside me, she started talking to two random girls about Allison, telling them she was from California, because they were standing behind her, wondering where she was from. Which was how my conversation with her had started, too--I just said something like, "Josh? Josh Josh?" (like, to myself--because I talk to myself; I can't help it) because some lesbians had yelled his name and waved, and there he was, standing up at the top of the stairs to the backstage area. And the girl next to me was, like, "He's their cellist," and I was, like, "Yeah, I know," and I realized that sounded kind of bitchy, so I said, "I didn't believe them at first," and she even continued this, saying she thought she'd recognized him, but she'd never yell up to him like the lesbians did. I told her I'd never do that either. And that was the end of the conversation. But I am telling you this story, because when I am standing around, unable not to listen to other people's conversations, I answer all their questions in my head, just like this girl was doing--except she was actually answering questions outside of her head. So she's a know-it-all just like me, just with 100% less crippling shyness. Also, the weird thing was that she looked familiar, like I'd seen her at the Boston show--or maybe at the Hampton Beach show with the Indigo Girls. Which is possible, I suppose.
Anyway, now that I sound even crazier, I'll leave you with this:
The Vermont pictures are up, rotated and captioned, with the crappier ones weeded out.
October 8, 2007
Like the wind in a canyon
Oh, god. What a weekend. It's taken me till today to realize what happened to me--and for that ache that happens when something is so awesome I can't handle it to come. I looked at the pictures I took in Vermont last night and nearly burst out crying. People. Brandi Carlile is so beautiful. And I was four people back from the stage. I've never been that close before. Also, I got a guitar pick. Oh yes. She kept throwing them, like, right at me, and I could not for the life of me get my hands on one, but when the show was over, I picked one up off the floor in front of my feet. Seriously. She was throwing them at me.
Anyway, I have a lot to say, and I'm not sure if I can get it out, but well, let's start with Boston. First of all, it was fucking hot in the Oprheum--no climate control whatsoever, and everyone was sweating, so of course, of course Brandi came out in that disgusting vest with nothing underneath it. And she was most likely not wearing a bra either. And even though I hate that vest, she looked, um, kind of hot (in the figurative sense, as well as the literal sense--everyone was literally lookin' hot that night)... However! I didn't really pay attention to that after a while, but it was fun to be able to see her total nerd tattoos in person.
Okay, so the Orpheum kind of sucks, and here is why: seats. And everyone wanted to sit down through the whole show, and some ass yelled at me for standing up, and I hate that! I totally remember that happening now, at the other concerts I'd been to there. It totally freaked Brandi out, too, playing in a setting like that, where everyone was just sitting quietly, waiting on her. She was much more comfortable last night, in the tiny club with people talking in between her songs. In between songs at the Orpheum, you could hear a pin drop, and it kind of freaked me out too.
But Brandi was great, natch, and the crowd was totally givin' her love, so much that it seemed to overwhelm her a little bit--but Boston always does that, to everyone. And one of the highlights of the night was the end of "Love Songs," which she sang as, "If I ever write a love song, Boston... I think I'll write it about you." Obviously, we all went ape shit for that. And she sounded fucking fantastic at the piano.
Now, before I get into the concert for real, I just need to say: no Red Sox talk whatsoever. She is a fake fan. Allison of A Fine Frenzy, the opener, was the one who mentioned the Red Sox, and she is from California--and has never pretended to be a Red Sox fan. Sigh. Of course, she didn't really say anything about being interested in the Red Sox, just that people in Boston had been complimenting her uber red hair, and she just thought she was lookin' rather nice that day until someone pointed out that the red hair makes her seem like a Sox fan. (Maybe Brandi pointed it out. That would make me feel better. But I should stop creating these fantasies for myself.) But I totally forgot about that until just now, because oh my god, it so doesn't even matter.
Okay, here we go: they opened the show with the ending harmonies from "Love Songs"--even Josh!--and then busted into "My Song," which was a fantastic way to get things going. I really love that song--and the ending harmonies in "Love Songs" are my favorite part of that song. Then it was "Wasted," and then my memory kind of loses track of the order of things, but whatever. It was all awesome.
Here are my most memorable moments: "How These Days Grow Long," obviously, which they managed to do unplugged even in the theater, and it was mind-blowing. I cannot even tell you how much I love that song, how much I love how Brandi and the twins come right up to the edge of the stage to sing it (it was even better in Vermont when I was even closer to the stage, but we'll get to that in a minute).
Phil was barefoot, which was awesome, and I tried to get a picture of his bare feet, but we'll see. I still haven't looked at all of them yet, because I took 280 of them. Whatever. I love Brandi and the twins.
I did Tim's "Turpentine" harmonies this time (last time I was in Brandi's section), and they were easier for me. For some reason, the Orpheum was kind of not havin' the audience participation thing, so we spent a while on the harmonies, and Brandi even had to sing, "I know you can sing it louder, Boston." That was a bit disappointing, but it was fun that she sang that, you know, in "Turpentine" time. But I still love doing that. Ben Folds does that. The Indigo Girls fans were much more game for the "Turpentine" harmonies than the fools at the Orpheum.
Every time I hear "Pride and Joy," I love it a million times more. And this time it was fantastic, all rocked out and amazing, and Josh got this kickass cello solo for the finale, which was just amazing. I totally love Josh now, too.
It was Gibb Droll's last show with the band for this tour, and he totally went out with an explosion. He shredded all night long on his guitars, and even played with his teeth during "Folsom Prison Blues" (I think. Christ, it was so crazy, I can't even remember what song it was). Brandi died; the audience lost their shit. It was fantastic.
One of my other favorite moments was when Brandi introduced "Closer to You" just by saying something like, "This is a song we wrote when we got signed" or something, and everyone cheered, and she was, like, "Aw, that's how I know my stories are getting old. When y'all know what song it is without my even saying anything remotely related to the song." It's cool, though; we just love that song, Brandi. And your stories. She told a good story about her family's music history and how, when the buzz about her started, her great-grandmother gave her her great-grandfather's fancy honky tonk guitar-thing (I am total musical instrument dunce)--but she can't play it, so Gibb did, for "Happy," and it was great.
During the encore, Brandi brought out her sister Tiffany to sing "Calling All Angels," and the crowd lost its mind, because oh y'all. Two Carliles for the price of one. I'd heard them do this before, because I have an mp3 of their performance in Seattle, but it was so great to see them sing together live. Tiffany's voice is, um, nothing like her sister's, really, but still awesome, and they sounded beautiful together. Except Tiffany seemed kind of nervous, but whatever. Rabid lesbians can be kind of scary. That was actually the performance of the night for me, I think--that was the song I was singing in my head as Jess and I waited for the T at Park Street.
Their fake last song, as always, was "The Story," and I noticed (with glee) that people started cheering in anticipation for her freakout at the final "all of these lines." I mean, that is the best part of the song. They did it in Vermont, too. I loved it. And I love that, when she first did it for the recording of the album, it was totally unintentional, and now it's the focal point of the song. She's amazing.
The only complaint I could possibly make (Somebody is playing "Tragedy" right now! Probably Brianna, with her Grey's Anatomy mix CDs) is that instead of "I Write These Words," they did "Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road" with A Fine Frenzy, which was lovely, yes, but I really wanted to hear "I Write These Words." Oh well.
During the encore, we were finally "allowed" to stand up, but when Brandi started to play "That Year," which is a sad, sad song, everyone sat down, and she kind of leaned over, like she was trying to see where everyone had gone, with this cute little smirk on her face, and I died. Beautiful.
She had us all singing along for "What Can I Say," and she and the twins let us take over for one of the choruses, which I always love for some reason, and I think the bands love it too, when the audience knows their song and wants to sing it out loud. Brandi definitely likes it.
At this show, I got a sweatshirt and a signed poster specifically for the show at the Orpheum. And what is she wearing in that poster? The vest.
And now, Vermont! Where some awesome fool totally yelled "Nice vest!" when she came out, and I couldn't help laughing. She wears that thing all the time--and I am not the only one who's noticed that--but this time she was wearing a long-sleeve button-up shirt under it, and it looked much better than it does with nothing or a t-shirt under it. Anyway! Enough with the vest.
So I dragged Mike all the way to Burlington on a Sunday, and we didn't get home until two this morning, and Vermont as a place was a total drag, but for the two hours we got to watch Brandi, it was all worth it. At least for me. He had fun, but he was totally exhausted when we got home. Hopefully, he lives through work today. Also, we were wicked close to the stage, so I kept, like, watching Brandi's eyes, and a few times, she seemed to be looking right at me, but then I realized she was totally looking at Mike and the stupid mohawk he had Josh shave into his head on Saturday night. And possibly trying to figure out if he was a girl. Two lesbians told him they totally loved his hair, and I think they were both surprised when he turned around, and they saw he was a dude. Heh, heh. I told him he looked like a lesbian when he did it on Saturday. But only from far away--and until he opens his mouth. I mean, there are some manly lesbos out there, but Mike definitely has boy voice.
Anyway, onto the show! They played mostly the same songs, except they did "Cannonball" instead of "Closer to You," which was fun, because the twins do some good Indigo Girls background vocals on that one. It was still more awesome to see her sing it live with the actual Indigo Girls, though. Even though I totally love the twins.
The boys in the band all had these ridiculous mustaches (except Tim for some reason), and Brandi lost her shit towards the end of "Wasted" when she saw Phil's mustache over his pursed lips, singing the "doot doot" part. She was laughing and could barely finish the song, and then when she did, she kind of dropped to the floor to try to compose herself. It was totally adorable. The mustache looked okay on Josh and the drummer (whose name I forget--Todd? Sorry, guy! You're a good drummer, but you're not Josh or a twin, and you didn't play the guitar with your teeth, so I forgot your name), but it looked retarded on Phil with his bald head. Good on Tim for staying away from the mustache. But Phil was barefoot again, so even with the mustache, I totally loved him.
Then, later, she introduced "Have You Ever" by saying that Phil wrote it, naked, and then she said, "I know you don't want to picture him that way right now, but he's very handsome" or something, and she winked at him. Then she said, "He looks a little bit like he'd hurt puppies right now [with the mustache] or something," and he tried to be offended, but he cracked up. I like how they tease each other--like Mike and I do.
While I'm speaking of the mustaches, I'll tell this story totally out of order, but whatever. When Allison and her boys of A Fine Frenzy came out for "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," she said something to Brandi about her hair looking really nice, and Brandi said Tiffany fixed it, and then Allison turned to the crowd and said, "Doesn't she look pretty?" and like, hello, the lesbians totally agreed. Brandi told her she looked pretty her own self, and then some lesbian yelled, "So does Phil!" That was fab. Phil was like, "Call off your dogs, Carlile--stop picking on me," but he loved it.
Here's a thing I discovered that I love: Brandi sings while she adjusts her mic stand and tunes her guitars in between songs. She did that last night, anyway, and I imagine she does it usually, but I've never been close enough to hear it. She sang a bit of "What Can I Say" and "Bohemian Rhapsody," and I just ate it up. She also did that thing where she sings when it's not her turn, just with her face away from the mic, and I could hear it this time because I was so close. I love that about her. Love it.
Speaking of "Bohemian Rhapsody" she played it last night as her intro to "Love Songs," and I almost tried to get it on video, but I decided I'd rather sing along instead. Worth it. It was so fun, and "Love Songs" sounded really good, and oh, lord, I just love her.
Tiffany was back again, and I think the crowd in Vermont went even crazier for her than the Boston crowd did, but she looked much less uncomfortable. After their song, Brandi said her sister puts her to shame, and then she said her brother, too, is an unbelievable singer, and, like, I believe the Carliles are a very musical family, and I am sure Jay (I think that's what she said his name was) has a lovely voice, but come on, Brandi. I don't think she knows how fucking powerful her voice is. It's killer. But then if she did know, she wouldn't really be Brandi. Anyway, the point of that lead-in was that someone then asked where he was, and she said he was at home with his new baby. And then Aunt Brandi totally started gushing, "Her name's Caroline, and she is so cute," and everyone awwed, and it was sweet. She claimed she was making a lullaby CD for her niece, said she put "Have You Ever" on it, and she's working on "Hush, Little Baby," and then she sang a bit of it, all countryfried and Brandi'd, and I totally loved it. The other lesbians did, too, I'm sure. I don't know if that lullaby CD thing is for truth, but I would totally buy it. And maybe play it for Jacob. (Oh! I have a new cousin, Jacob Tanner [last name omitted--it's not the same as mine]. We'll talk about him later. Maybe when I finally meet him.)
Oh, so "How These Days Grow Long" is even better when you're right up in front of the stage, and Brandi and Tim can totally see you lip-syncing along. Um, maybe. They could have, anyway, if they had looked (and I feel like Tim, at least, did see me...maybe), because I love that song, and I could not help myself. Plus, they came right up to the edge of the stage, of course, and I could see even better just how pretty this girl is--but also that she was totally wearing make-up. Whatever, it wasn't anything overdone, and it suited her, and whatever, again. I'll just tell myself Tiffany did it.
When they did "The Story," the Vermont people went so crazy that Brandi just stopped and let us take over for one of the "I was made for you"s--the first one, I think. This crowd was much better at the audience participation thing. She also made sure she got everyone clapping along for "Folsom Prison," which she did in Boston, too, and I just loved watching her stalk the stage and look out over the crowd, to make sure everyone had her hands going. She's such fun to watch.
The only thing that bugged about this show was how shoved together everyone got, so I couldn't get any decent pictures of Tim or Josh. But I have a few good ones of my main man Phil--and quite a few of that girl who sings with them, so can't complain too much.
Also, I got a guitar pick. Boo-yah.
Anyway, I have a lot to say, and I'm not sure if I can get it out, but well, let's start with Boston. First of all, it was fucking hot in the Oprheum--no climate control whatsoever, and everyone was sweating, so of course, of course Brandi came out in that disgusting vest with nothing underneath it. And she was most likely not wearing a bra either. And even though I hate that vest, she looked, um, kind of hot (in the figurative sense, as well as the literal sense--everyone was literally lookin' hot that night)... However! I didn't really pay attention to that after a while, but it was fun to be able to see her total nerd tattoos in person.
Okay, so the Orpheum kind of sucks, and here is why: seats. And everyone wanted to sit down through the whole show, and some ass yelled at me for standing up, and I hate that! I totally remember that happening now, at the other concerts I'd been to there. It totally freaked Brandi out, too, playing in a setting like that, where everyone was just sitting quietly, waiting on her. She was much more comfortable last night, in the tiny club with people talking in between her songs. In between songs at the Orpheum, you could hear a pin drop, and it kind of freaked me out too.
But Brandi was great, natch, and the crowd was totally givin' her love, so much that it seemed to overwhelm her a little bit--but Boston always does that, to everyone. And one of the highlights of the night was the end of "Love Songs," which she sang as, "If I ever write a love song, Boston... I think I'll write it about you." Obviously, we all went ape shit for that. And she sounded fucking fantastic at the piano.
Now, before I get into the concert for real, I just need to say: no Red Sox talk whatsoever. She is a fake fan. Allison of A Fine Frenzy, the opener, was the one who mentioned the Red Sox, and she is from California--and has never pretended to be a Red Sox fan. Sigh. Of course, she didn't really say anything about being interested in the Red Sox, just that people in Boston had been complimenting her uber red hair, and she just thought she was lookin' rather nice that day until someone pointed out that the red hair makes her seem like a Sox fan. (Maybe Brandi pointed it out. That would make me feel better. But I should stop creating these fantasies for myself.) But I totally forgot about that until just now, because oh my god, it so doesn't even matter.
Okay, here we go: they opened the show with the ending harmonies from "Love Songs"--even Josh!--and then busted into "My Song," which was a fantastic way to get things going. I really love that song--and the ending harmonies in "Love Songs" are my favorite part of that song. Then it was "Wasted," and then my memory kind of loses track of the order of things, but whatever. It was all awesome.
Here are my most memorable moments: "How These Days Grow Long," obviously, which they managed to do unplugged even in the theater, and it was mind-blowing. I cannot even tell you how much I love that song, how much I love how Brandi and the twins come right up to the edge of the stage to sing it (it was even better in Vermont when I was even closer to the stage, but we'll get to that in a minute).
Phil was barefoot, which was awesome, and I tried to get a picture of his bare feet, but we'll see. I still haven't looked at all of them yet, because I took 280 of them. Whatever. I love Brandi and the twins.
I did Tim's "Turpentine" harmonies this time (last time I was in Brandi's section), and they were easier for me. For some reason, the Orpheum was kind of not havin' the audience participation thing, so we spent a while on the harmonies, and Brandi even had to sing, "I know you can sing it louder, Boston." That was a bit disappointing, but it was fun that she sang that, you know, in "Turpentine" time. But I still love doing that. Ben Folds does that. The Indigo Girls fans were much more game for the "Turpentine" harmonies than the fools at the Orpheum.
Every time I hear "Pride and Joy," I love it a million times more. And this time it was fantastic, all rocked out and amazing, and Josh got this kickass cello solo for the finale, which was just amazing. I totally love Josh now, too.
It was Gibb Droll's last show with the band for this tour, and he totally went out with an explosion. He shredded all night long on his guitars, and even played with his teeth during "Folsom Prison Blues" (I think. Christ, it was so crazy, I can't even remember what song it was). Brandi died; the audience lost their shit. It was fantastic.
One of my other favorite moments was when Brandi introduced "Closer to You" just by saying something like, "This is a song we wrote when we got signed" or something, and everyone cheered, and she was, like, "Aw, that's how I know my stories are getting old. When y'all know what song it is without my even saying anything remotely related to the song." It's cool, though; we just love that song, Brandi. And your stories. She told a good story about her family's music history and how, when the buzz about her started, her great-grandmother gave her her great-grandfather's fancy honky tonk guitar-thing (I am total musical instrument dunce)--but she can't play it, so Gibb did, for "Happy," and it was great.
During the encore, Brandi brought out her sister Tiffany to sing "Calling All Angels," and the crowd lost its mind, because oh y'all. Two Carliles for the price of one. I'd heard them do this before, because I have an mp3 of their performance in Seattle, but it was so great to see them sing together live. Tiffany's voice is, um, nothing like her sister's, really, but still awesome, and they sounded beautiful together. Except Tiffany seemed kind of nervous, but whatever. Rabid lesbians can be kind of scary. That was actually the performance of the night for me, I think--that was the song I was singing in my head as Jess and I waited for the T at Park Street.
Their fake last song, as always, was "The Story," and I noticed (with glee) that people started cheering in anticipation for her freakout at the final "all of these lines." I mean, that is the best part of the song. They did it in Vermont, too. I loved it. And I love that, when she first did it for the recording of the album, it was totally unintentional, and now it's the focal point of the song. She's amazing.
The only complaint I could possibly make (Somebody is playing "Tragedy" right now! Probably Brianna, with her Grey's Anatomy mix CDs) is that instead of "I Write These Words," they did "Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road" with A Fine Frenzy, which was lovely, yes, but I really wanted to hear "I Write These Words." Oh well.
During the encore, we were finally "allowed" to stand up, but when Brandi started to play "That Year," which is a sad, sad song, everyone sat down, and she kind of leaned over, like she was trying to see where everyone had gone, with this cute little smirk on her face, and I died. Beautiful.
She had us all singing along for "What Can I Say," and she and the twins let us take over for one of the choruses, which I always love for some reason, and I think the bands love it too, when the audience knows their song and wants to sing it out loud. Brandi definitely likes it.
At this show, I got a sweatshirt and a signed poster specifically for the show at the Orpheum. And what is she wearing in that poster? The vest.
And now, Vermont! Where some awesome fool totally yelled "Nice vest!" when she came out, and I couldn't help laughing. She wears that thing all the time--and I am not the only one who's noticed that--but this time she was wearing a long-sleeve button-up shirt under it, and it looked much better than it does with nothing or a t-shirt under it. Anyway! Enough with the vest.
So I dragged Mike all the way to Burlington on a Sunday, and we didn't get home until two this morning, and Vermont as a place was a total drag, but for the two hours we got to watch Brandi, it was all worth it. At least for me. He had fun, but he was totally exhausted when we got home. Hopefully, he lives through work today. Also, we were wicked close to the stage, so I kept, like, watching Brandi's eyes, and a few times, she seemed to be looking right at me, but then I realized she was totally looking at Mike and the stupid mohawk he had Josh shave into his head on Saturday night. And possibly trying to figure out if he was a girl. Two lesbians told him they totally loved his hair, and I think they were both surprised when he turned around, and they saw he was a dude. Heh, heh. I told him he looked like a lesbian when he did it on Saturday. But only from far away--and until he opens his mouth. I mean, there are some manly lesbos out there, but Mike definitely has boy voice.
Anyway, onto the show! They played mostly the same songs, except they did "Cannonball" instead of "Closer to You," which was fun, because the twins do some good Indigo Girls background vocals on that one. It was still more awesome to see her sing it live with the actual Indigo Girls, though. Even though I totally love the twins.
The boys in the band all had these ridiculous mustaches (except Tim for some reason), and Brandi lost her shit towards the end of "Wasted" when she saw Phil's mustache over his pursed lips, singing the "doot doot" part. She was laughing and could barely finish the song, and then when she did, she kind of dropped to the floor to try to compose herself. It was totally adorable. The mustache looked okay on Josh and the drummer (whose name I forget--Todd? Sorry, guy! You're a good drummer, but you're not Josh or a twin, and you didn't play the guitar with your teeth, so I forgot your name), but it looked retarded on Phil with his bald head. Good on Tim for staying away from the mustache. But Phil was barefoot again, so even with the mustache, I totally loved him.
Then, later, she introduced "Have You Ever" by saying that Phil wrote it, naked, and then she said, "I know you don't want to picture him that way right now, but he's very handsome" or something, and she winked at him. Then she said, "He looks a little bit like he'd hurt puppies right now [with the mustache] or something," and he tried to be offended, but he cracked up. I like how they tease each other--like Mike and I do.
While I'm speaking of the mustaches, I'll tell this story totally out of order, but whatever. When Allison and her boys of A Fine Frenzy came out for "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," she said something to Brandi about her hair looking really nice, and Brandi said Tiffany fixed it, and then Allison turned to the crowd and said, "Doesn't she look pretty?" and like, hello, the lesbians totally agreed. Brandi told her she looked pretty her own self, and then some lesbian yelled, "So does Phil!" That was fab. Phil was like, "Call off your dogs, Carlile--stop picking on me," but he loved it.
Here's a thing I discovered that I love: Brandi sings while she adjusts her mic stand and tunes her guitars in between songs. She did that last night, anyway, and I imagine she does it usually, but I've never been close enough to hear it. She sang a bit of "What Can I Say" and "Bohemian Rhapsody," and I just ate it up. She also did that thing where she sings when it's not her turn, just with her face away from the mic, and I could hear it this time because I was so close. I love that about her. Love it.
Speaking of "Bohemian Rhapsody" she played it last night as her intro to "Love Songs," and I almost tried to get it on video, but I decided I'd rather sing along instead. Worth it. It was so fun, and "Love Songs" sounded really good, and oh, lord, I just love her.
Tiffany was back again, and I think the crowd in Vermont went even crazier for her than the Boston crowd did, but she looked much less uncomfortable. After their song, Brandi said her sister puts her to shame, and then she said her brother, too, is an unbelievable singer, and, like, I believe the Carliles are a very musical family, and I am sure Jay (I think that's what she said his name was) has a lovely voice, but come on, Brandi. I don't think she knows how fucking powerful her voice is. It's killer. But then if she did know, she wouldn't really be Brandi. Anyway, the point of that lead-in was that someone then asked where he was, and she said he was at home with his new baby. And then Aunt Brandi totally started gushing, "Her name's Caroline, and she is so cute," and everyone awwed, and it was sweet. She claimed she was making a lullaby CD for her niece, said she put "Have You Ever" on it, and she's working on "Hush, Little Baby," and then she sang a bit of it, all countryfried and Brandi'd, and I totally loved it. The other lesbians did, too, I'm sure. I don't know if that lullaby CD thing is for truth, but I would totally buy it. And maybe play it for Jacob. (Oh! I have a new cousin, Jacob Tanner [last name omitted--it's not the same as mine]. We'll talk about him later. Maybe when I finally meet him.)
Oh, so "How These Days Grow Long" is even better when you're right up in front of the stage, and Brandi and Tim can totally see you lip-syncing along. Um, maybe. They could have, anyway, if they had looked (and I feel like Tim, at least, did see me...maybe), because I love that song, and I could not help myself. Plus, they came right up to the edge of the stage, of course, and I could see even better just how pretty this girl is--but also that she was totally wearing make-up. Whatever, it wasn't anything overdone, and it suited her, and whatever, again. I'll just tell myself Tiffany did it.
When they did "The Story," the Vermont people went so crazy that Brandi just stopped and let us take over for one of the "I was made for you"s--the first one, I think. This crowd was much better at the audience participation thing. She also made sure she got everyone clapping along for "Folsom Prison," which she did in Boston, too, and I just loved watching her stalk the stage and look out over the crowd, to make sure everyone had her hands going. She's such fun to watch.
The only thing that bugged about this show was how shoved together everyone got, so I couldn't get any decent pictures of Tim or Josh. But I have a few good ones of my main man Phil--and quite a few of that girl who sings with them, so can't complain too much.
Also, I got a guitar pick. Boo-yah.
October 4, 2007
Broken promises add up
So I've been vibrating with anticipation all week, because tomorrow (tomorrow!) is the kickoff of my Brandi Carlile weekend. Miraculously, the week has totally flown by--it's already Thursday, y'all, and tomorrow night, I will be watching the girl I can't stop talking about perform right in front of my face. And I'll be doing it all again on Sunday, in Vermont. But apparently, stupid Liz rejected my request for Sunday off, and now I'm scheduled to work, and she's in effing Ohio, so I can't make her fix it. I don't know what to do, because the Devil will not take kindly to my telling her I can't work, because I'm probably one of two people scheduled to work that day (and she's a giant bitch). Whatever! I'm so done with that job, I don't care if she fires me. (But she can't afford to fire me, because I am awesome, and Christmas is coming, and if she does fire me, I'll just go work for Bruce in Manchester, so there.) I just don't know if I should wait till Sunday and call out or try to fix this. If only Ally were working tonight. She always takes care of these things for me. I keep getting scheduled outside of my availability, and if I am actually not doing anything else, I will go to work anyway, but this time, fuck it. I'm going to Vermont to see Brandi Carlile; I am not working at Bath & Body Works.
She's in New York right now. That's pretty close. She wore that Boy Scouts shirt at the concert last night--which brings me to my other dilemma. Do I bring my camera? It says right on the tickets "no cameras," but everyone's been taking pictures at her other shows, and the Orpheum, as far as I know, has no strict camera policy. I've only been there twice, but I don't even remember Jess, Katy, whoever getting their bags searched. Perhaps it's different now. It sucks that I'll be without my car in Boston, because if they won't let me in with a camera, I'll be fucked. When we were in Manchester, and Jess was denied entrance to the AI show with her camera, we could just go back and throw it in my car. No such luck in the big city. Maybe if I hide it in my bra...
She's in New York right now. That's pretty close. She wore that Boy Scouts shirt at the concert last night--which brings me to my other dilemma. Do I bring my camera? It says right on the tickets "no cameras," but everyone's been taking pictures at her other shows, and the Orpheum, as far as I know, has no strict camera policy. I've only been there twice, but I don't even remember Jess, Katy, whoever getting their bags searched. Perhaps it's different now. It sucks that I'll be without my car in Boston, because if they won't let me in with a camera, I'll be fucked. When we were in Manchester, and Jess was denied entrance to the AI show with her camera, we could just go back and throw it in my car. No such luck in the big city. Maybe if I hide it in my bra...
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