Bogus review of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind:
I don't like Jim Carrey. Or Kirsten Dunst. Or Elijah Wood. And Mark Ruffalo was such a weiner. I actually fell asleep for ten minutes at the beginning. Yet I persevered because Kate Winslet is so pretty, and it's fun to listen to her talk with an American accent. Why do you think I've seen Titanic more than once? I have a real crush on her again now.
I really liked how everything played out in Joel's head, but I couldn't find it in me to care, to even want Joel and Clementine to be able to work it out. I blame this on Jim Carrey, because I did care about Clementine. I just wanted to steal her. Hellooooo, she works at Barnes & Noble and, you know, looks like Kate Winslet. What more could I want from a woman?
I'm not the only one who knew that the movie started after both their memories had been erased, right? I don't know if that was supposed to be obvious, because I fell asleep once the opening credits started rolling, so I'm not quite sure how we got into Joel's head, except that he found out Clementine had erased him, so he wanted to erase her (but I knew that going in). Anyway, the fact that the name Clementine had no associations whatsoever for Joel made it clear that he'd erased everything that had anything to do with her. No one is that cut off from the world.
Okay, so maybe if I hadn't fallen asleep, I'd have found a way to connect with this movie. But it mostly seemed like a fancy conceit without real characters to keep me interested. Like Adaptation--that had some really good acting in it, too, but, like, I didn't care. I really can't articulate it any better than that. Boo on me.
Anyway, that girl whose name I never seem to be able to remember has another new song! Whee! I spent all last night listening to it thanks to the lovely people at againtoday.com--and even worked out the lyrics myself, like, immediately. It's so good! I just don't know who wrote this one. It doesn't sound like Tim, so I'd say it's Brandi's--and for the first time, I totally love a lot of the words. Here:
"Avenue of Second Starts"
Icicles are fallin’ down
from the rooftops
of the tiny town
Behind the glass
(A winter land)
(Silent storms) in the palm of your hand
Tell me how can this be
I’m stuck inside a game in which I know I’ll only lose
I’ve never felt so free,
but I’ve never been so blue
I’m lost inside your love, and there is nothing I can do
Maybe we can meet again
On the avenue of second starts
And we have to fall in love because we both have broken hearts
Maybe it’s just a dream
that we’ll never live to see come true
But you’re out here by my side,
and I’m already missin’ you
Bicycles
Spinning wheels
Spinning round
That’s how I feel
The carnival
has moved away,
and all that’s left
are thoughts of you, night and day
Tell me how can this be
I’m lost inside a game in which I know I’ll only lose
I’ve never felt so free
but I’ve never been so blue
I’m lost inside your love, and there is nothing I can do
Maybe we can hitch a ride
to a faraway distant land
We can watch the clouds roll by
and write our names into the sand
Maybe if we close our eyes
we can let our souls run free
and meet behind the stars
in some other galaxy
Tell me how can this be
Tell me how can this be
I’m stuck playin’ a game in which I know I’ll only lose
I’ve never felt so free,
and I’ve never been so blue
I’m lost inside your eyes, and there is nothing I can do
I know this is epically nerdtastic, but "and meet behind the stars/in some other galaxy" made me think of Bastian meeting the Childlike Empress for real after the destruction of Fantastica. Whatever! I don't remember how it looked in the movie, because I have repressed the movie, but "behind the stars/in some other galaxy" calls up my mental picture of their meeting quite nicely. Any. Way.
Katherine Heigl, the girl who made me gay, no longer has any effect on me. Do you know how much I do not want to see 27 Dresses? And I watched some bad movies this girl did, just because I loved her. Bride of Chuckie, My Father the Hero, Wish Upon a Star--okay, I still kind of love Wish Upon a Star. And I mean, first season Isabel Evans will always and forever be awesome, but present-day Katherine Heigl, girl who made me gay though she is, is pretty much dead to me.
Now, the fact that she made me gay does not mean she was my first girlcrush--she was just the first girlcrush that made me, um, rethink some things. First real girlcrush? Jewel Staite, when I was eleven, and she had rainbow-colored hair. How gay is that? I keep forgetting that all the Whedon nerds know who she is now, because she was in Firefly and Serenity, but to me, she will always be Catalina, from Saturn's moon Titan, who had an invisible (not imaginary) friend named Suzee. It was totally bogus, too, when Jewel Staite got a job on the Disney Channel and left Space Cases to have Suzee take her place in some kind of dimensional exchange. Boo. Of course, I watched Flash Forward like it was my job, but she ended up falling in love with her boy best friend Tucker (Ben Foster!) at the end of the series, which I just haaaaaaate. I think even Sam and Clarissa had some kind of weird, but mercifully brief, romance thing. Did Alex and Ray? God, I hope not. I can't remember. Oh, oh! Before she realizes how she feels about Tucker, Becca (Jewel's character) dates a grotsky Ryan Gosling! I think that's why I can't stand him to this day. Anyway, back to the boy/girl best friend romance disasters: Pete and Ellen did it; even Zack and Jessie had that stupid episode where they were doing Snow White and decided they actually liked each other. The worst one, though: Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable actually start dating. (Shut up, I love cartoons.) You know how I feel about Georgie and Izzie. It happened in that stupid teen movie Whatever It Takes with Shane West and Marla Sokoloff, too. It happens in a lot of stupid teen movies, but that's the one that sprang most readily to mind. I only like stories about falling in love with your best friend when both best friends are girls. That's not yet quite enough of a cliche--only because it doesn't happen in mainstream media. But it's rather a large lesbian cliche.
Anyway, that was not supposed to devolve into a bitter rant against straight entertainment, but really. Girls can be friends with guys without sex getting the way. Why can't anyone accept that?
Oy, I can't believe I'm doing this--it seems so gauche--but I just found a blog post on afterellen.com about the character archetypes of Little Women being represented in television shows featuring gangs of women, and you know I was all over that, but I kind of faded out when I she mentioned "Southern hospitality" as an aspect of the book. I don't know what it is about books that take place during the Civil War (but I will blame Gone with the Wind), but they seem to call up an image of the South, rather than the land of us harsh Yankees, but come on, people. The bulk of Little Women takes place in Concord, Massachusetts (the rest of it takes place in New York City and parts of France). Then this got me: the blogger said Jo sold her hair for her sisters, which not so much. Jo sold her hair to take care of her father, to "mak[e] Father comfortable and bring him home" when he fell ill in Washington during the war. I mean, I do appreciate the idea of this post, but it makes me nuuuuuts when people can't get details like that right.
Okay, so the interesting thing was that the point of this article was that you can apply the Little Women characters: beautiful, maternal Meg; tomboyish Jo; shy Beth; vain, artistic Amy, to many of the female gangs on tv. The ones she used as examples, I can't comment on, because I've not seen the shows (The Facts of Life, Golden Girls, something else), but she did say towards the end that Sex and the City and even Cashmere Mafia could fit into this mold. So first I tried Sex and the City and immediately decided that Charlotte would be Beth and Carrie, Amy, but I was rather puzzled as to what to do with Samantha and Miranda. In the end, I decided Sam would be Jo and Miranda, Meg, because Samantha is bold and forthright and all that, like my dear Jo, and well, Miranda is more maternal than Samantha is, anyway. Miranda really doesn't fit as Meg. I'm not pleased.
Cashmere Mafia was even harder. I would put Zoe as Meg, because she kind of is what I imagine Meg would be in the twenty-first century, trying to be a working mom extraordinaire. Then I lost it. Caitlin would be Amy, maybe, because she kind of gets treated like a younger sister by the other girls--and she looks like Amy would have looked--and Mia could be Jo, brash and bold and not afraid to get into it with men. But Juliet is not Beth. None of them is Beth. Not even close.
Perhaps this is so hard for me because I have more than just a vague idea of these characters, having read the book and its sequels a million times. They don't match up to any other characters closely enough for me. So, conclusion: I don't buy it. Interesting theory, though. Very interesting.
I like Margaret Cho's theory on girl gangs better: "and then there's the ho." You know, you have one smart one, one nice one, and...then there's the ho. I think she used Charlie's Angels for that theory, but I cannot comment on that either, because I have not seen the television show. The movie, however... Cameron's the nice one, Lucy's the smart one, and Drew's the ho? I guess that works. It works for Sex and the City: Miranda's the smart one, Charlotte's the nice one, and Samantha's the ho. Carrie, as lovely as Sarah Jessica Parker seems, is...blech. Mia's the smart one, Zoe's the nice one, and Caitlin's the ho. Juliet is excluded, because I don't like her. Look! It even works for Little Women: Jo's the smart one, Meg (and Beth--but she dies) is the nice one, and Amy's the ho! "Look around, which one are you?"
January 31, 2008
January 30, 2008
Crank
Do you know what's bogus? I signed up for Netflix, because I have realized that there are a lot of movies I've never seen, and I don't have a Blockbuster card, and the library never has what I want anyway--and, oh, this story actually has two bogus parts. Okay, part number one: they allegedly shipped my first two movies on Friday, and I didn't get them until yesterday. They said I should have gotten them on Saturday--or Monday, by the latest. Boo. Part number two: part of the Netflix subscription involves being able to watch some of their movies online, which would be uberperfect for those days when work is slow. Like...today. I didn't have high expectations of this service going in, but I have discovered that you can't even try to play Netflix movies on a Mac because of Apple's digital distribution software or some shit. Booooooo.
Anyway, I watched Stardust last night, finally, and I loved Claire Danes in it, but that was about it. Many a liberty was taken with Neil Gaiman's original story, so that now I have to read it again, because I was having a hard time remembering how things really happened. But it was a fun movie. Yes. It was.
It was fuh-reezing in here this morning, and Charles had kept me up all night whining and clawing at my feet, so I was miserable for the better half of the day. Then I went home at lunch to eat some mashed potatoes and take a ten-minute nap, and now I feel much better. I'm still not awake, but I feel better. I need a longer nap and a Brandi Carlile concert stat. Depressingly, only one of those will be available to me in three hours. Listening to the Burlington bootleg is not good enough anymore. Withdrawal is excruciating.
I am still bummed. That squirrel on a stapler is not making me feel better. Neither is listening to or staring at Brandi Carlile. Somebody fix me! Bah! Oh, wait, I have the cure: Tina. Fey. Later, internet.
Anyway, I watched Stardust last night, finally, and I loved Claire Danes in it, but that was about it. Many a liberty was taken with Neil Gaiman's original story, so that now I have to read it again, because I was having a hard time remembering how things really happened. But it was a fun movie. Yes. It was.
It was fuh-reezing in here this morning, and Charles had kept me up all night whining and clawing at my feet, so I was miserable for the better half of the day. Then I went home at lunch to eat some mashed potatoes and take a ten-minute nap, and now I feel much better. I'm still not awake, but I feel better. I need a longer nap and a Brandi Carlile concert stat. Depressingly, only one of those will be available to me in three hours. Listening to the Burlington bootleg is not good enough anymore. Withdrawal is excruciating.
I am still bummed. That squirrel on a stapler is not making me feel better. Neither is listening to or staring at Brandi Carlile. Somebody fix me! Bah! Oh, wait, I have the cure: Tina. Fey. Later, internet.
Best google search ever!
Ready? Ready???
"john milton lost paradise ix boob"
Like, what? I can only imagine this intrepid googler in Krakow, Poland, meant to type "book," but he or she did not! And so I just laughed my ass off for five minutes. If only there were boobs in Paradise Lost--then I might have been interested in it. Well, Eve's naked for a while there, but no one talks about her boobs. Boo.
For some reason, this keyword string took my Polish friend to the list of books I read last year, which is probably the only time I mentioned Paradise Lost--maybe I mentioned it in one of those Golden Compass entries, but whatever. I did not, however, read a book with the word "boob" in the title, which, now that I think about it, is really a glaring omission on my part. I shall have to make up for it this year!
"john milton lost paradise ix boob"
Like, what? I can only imagine this intrepid googler in Krakow, Poland, meant to type "book," but he or she did not! And so I just laughed my ass off for five minutes. If only there were boobs in Paradise Lost--then I might have been interested in it. Well, Eve's naked for a while there, but no one talks about her boobs. Boo.
For some reason, this keyword string took my Polish friend to the list of books I read last year, which is probably the only time I mentioned Paradise Lost--maybe I mentioned it in one of those Golden Compass entries, but whatever. I did not, however, read a book with the word "boob" in the title, which, now that I think about it, is really a glaring omission on my part. I shall have to make up for it this year!
January 29, 2008
Skip this one
Let's talk about something I discovered today: ItsDeductible tax-related software, from Intuit. It's bundled into TurboTax or something, but whatever--that's not the point. I don't care to discuss this product as a product; I want to talk about its name. First of all, what is up with shoving two words together to make one word? I find this convention ridiculously stupid, and it is all over the software world. Second--and this is my real problem--the apostrophe in it's has been eliminated. The way this is written, you're left waiting for the conclusion. Its deductible what? Donations? Socks? Coffee filters? WHAT? Here, this is what I mean: "He filed the company's taxes; he should have been aware of its deductible charitable donations." What Intuit means, though, is "it is deductible"--it's some tool that helps you keep track of your donations for tax-filing time. But that's not what the name actually says. Boo.
Um, sorry for that boringness, but that name really bugged the shit out of me. It was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak, in all of the apostrophe abuse I've been seeing everywhere these days. The apostrophe is my pet punctuation cause, because people abuse it and discard it so carelessly.
Okay, so I am a whackjob, getting all worked about the helpless apostrophe like it's an abandoned kitten, but this is why I'm a professional proofreader, people.
G-d damn it, these stupid bags of chocolate gelt are so hard to get open. Never mind peeling the foil off of them.
I know I've talked about this before, but seriously, you guys. I hate Pink. Hate herrrr. That stupid song that I totally can't think of the name of right now, but is not the one about telling the guy the only action he's gonna get tonight is from Handgela, was on the Semi-Annual Sale CD at the good old BBW, so I had to listen to it all the time. It's a terrible song! Horrible! Someone kill it! "Big Girls Don't Cry" was also on that CD, and I wanted to die every time I heard it. I don't know what happened to that after hours CD that had Kelly, Regina, and Brandi on it, but I really wish we could just play that all the time. There was no Fergie on that one. There might have been Pink, though. Small price to pay to be able to belt "The Story" at work.
Um, sorry for that boringness, but that name really bugged the shit out of me. It was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak, in all of the apostrophe abuse I've been seeing everywhere these days. The apostrophe is my pet punctuation cause, because people abuse it and discard it so carelessly.
Okay, so I am a whackjob, getting all worked about the helpless apostrophe like it's an abandoned kitten, but this is why I'm a professional proofreader, people.
G-d damn it, these stupid bags of chocolate gelt are so hard to get open. Never mind peeling the foil off of them.
I know I've talked about this before, but seriously, you guys. I hate Pink. Hate herrrr. That stupid song that I totally can't think of the name of right now, but is not the one about telling the guy the only action he's gonna get tonight is from Handgela, was on the Semi-Annual Sale CD at the good old BBW, so I had to listen to it all the time. It's a terrible song! Horrible! Someone kill it! "Big Girls Don't Cry" was also on that CD, and I wanted to die every time I heard it. I don't know what happened to that after hours CD that had Kelly, Regina, and Brandi on it, but I really wish we could just play that all the time. There was no Fergie on that one. There might have been Pink, though. Small price to pay to be able to belt "The Story" at work.
Things I just realized
Jesus Christ, that's three pictures today I said are my favorites of Brandi ever. I am mental. Completely mental.
Back when I took my mom to see Brandi and the Indigo Girls, my mom said Brandi looked like Lindsay Lohan, which I totally forgot about until today. God damn, I should buy her some glasses.
I want to go swimming. Anyone have an indoor pool?
Back when I took my mom to see Brandi and the Indigo Girls, my mom said Brandi looked like Lindsay Lohan, which I totally forgot about until today. God damn, I should buy her some glasses.
I want to go swimming. Anyone have an indoor pool?
Tuesday afternoon blues
I'm feelin' despondent again--but I think it's just because I've gotten less than ten hours of sleep in the past two days--so I wanted to share my favorite picture of Brandi with the world (and keep the post up this time). I might also be feelin' low because I'm listening to "Boys Don't Cry," which I love, but listening to it always breaks my heart a little.
This is another one snagged from againtoday.com, originally uploaded by Rachel, so it's totally not mine. I love it for many reasons: the hat, the crazily tattered jeans, and the Abercrombie boys' sweater. If I could pull off that hat, I would totally wear that exact outfit. (Tim and Gibb are in the original picture, but I cropped them out because they are just not as pretty as Brandi.)
Actually, this might not be my very favorite picture of her, but it's near the top. My favorite is probably that first picture I blogged of her, way back in August when I first admitted to the world that she totally makes me crazy (in the best of ways).
This is another one snagged from againtoday.com, originally uploaded by Rachel, so it's totally not mine. I love it for many reasons: the hat, the crazily tattered jeans, and the Abercrombie boys' sweater. If I could pull off that hat, I would totally wear that exact outfit. (Tim and Gibb are in the original picture, but I cropped them out because they are just not as pretty as Brandi.)Actually, this might not be my very favorite picture of her, but it's near the top. My favorite is probably that first picture I blogged of her, way back in August when I first admitted to the world that she totally makes me crazy (in the best of ways).
January 28, 2008
Cielo y mar
That stupid crush was--as they always are--even stupider than I wanted to think it was.
It's sad, but true.
I hate working late. I would like to take this opportunity to blame Eric Gagne for the fact that I didn't leave Bath & Body Works until 12:15 this morning. Frickin' Gagne. I did, however, keep myself entertained by singing the best songs from The Little Mermaid and making Abbie crazy.
All you're going to be is one of the next bitches.
I get these fits where I just keep skipping everything iTunes plays even if I, like, love the song. Next, next, next, neeeeeeexxxxxxxxtttttttt. Until, of course, iTunes picks the one girl in all the world I cannot skip. Sometimes that takes a long time; sometimes it takes half a second. Oh, iTunes, you are so fickle.
And that's what would have happened if I'd invented the finglonger.
Handbrake is the greatest program ever written, people. I have ripped almost all my Futurama DVDs onto my iMac, and it was so easy! I can't believe I was so violently anti-Mac less than a year ago. I just wish I had, like, a 12TB hard drive so I could rip all of my DVDs onto it. I love the idea of being able to watch whatever you want whenever you want just by pointing a remote at your computer. No need to get up and put in discs! No need to figure out which box and which disc the time skips episode of Futurama is on. I am so lazy!
You didn't tell me you were taking me to a gay bar!
Mike and I went to the one gay bar in all of New Hampshire on Saturday for the first time in, like, two months, and we had such fun. We drank Bud Lights, didn't talk to anyone but the bartenders, and made fun of people all night long. That's the reason we go there in the first place, to make fun of all the gays trying too hard. And the unfortunate-looking people. Because Mike and I are the hottest, coolest, smartest gay people in New Hampshire. Just so you know. Also, we played pool, and I finally kicked his ass! Twice. Is that ice? Hi-yah!
Ahem. No, I mean, we do make fun of people, and we're jackasses, but I mean, I imagine people make fun of us too, so I don't really feel bad about it. We also spent some of the night making fun of each other. If you can't laugh at yourself (and other people!), then what is the point of anything?
Now I would like to take this opportunity to bemoan the state of the gay community in New Hampshire. The people who go out, anyway, are all...eeesh. I was in the bathroom at one point, and all the girls in there were dressed like little baby gangstas, talking about how they did too many drugs in high school to remember anything and how they didn't even graduate, and one of them had a baby, and I don't think any of them were even wearing "You can serve me alcohol" wristbands. That just made me sick. Druggies and dropouts and teenage moms. Come on! I know shit happens, but why can't you finish high school? And if you didn't finish high school, why would you go around bragging about it? Wouldn't you at least get your GED so you could get a job?
Even the girls who aren't bragging about dropping out of high school and being high all the time still dress like little gansters and pop their collars and generally make me unable to look at them. Where are the lesbians who wear flannel shirts and boys' t-shirts and clothes that fit??? This is why I only fall for straight girls. And also why I need to get out of New Hampshire. Which sucks because I like it here. And I don't do well with change--though I have gotten much better about that since my sophomore year of college.
Oh! Also? The one gay bar in all of New Hampshire attracts the ugliest drag queens I have ever seen. Nothing like Patrick Swayze.
Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!
Mike won't see Sweeney Todd with me because he is a wuss. I did not know this. I mean, he made me watch Silent Hill, which totally fuckin' freaked me out, and he can't go see Sweeney Todd? Jess! When are we going to see it? He also had issues with Kill Bill, the violence of which is so over the top, I can't believe it would bother anyone. My mom loved Kill Bill, and she does not go for that crap. I don't go for that crap either, but seriously, watching Lucy Liu scamper across the table to wallop that guy's head off was one of the most amazing movie experiences of my life. That is part of the reason that Cashmere Mafia makes me sad. The other part is, of course, the dicking around they're doing with this lesbian storyline. Stupid network television. No one's ever a lesbian for more than six episodes.
Now I get why award shows are important:
How mother-fucking amazing is that woman? (Thanks to afterellen.com for that bit of beautifulness.) I also like how Chandra Wilson and Jane Krakowski both seem so excited for Ms. Fey. Beautiful.
It's sad, but true.
I hate working late. I would like to take this opportunity to blame Eric Gagne for the fact that I didn't leave Bath & Body Works until 12:15 this morning. Frickin' Gagne. I did, however, keep myself entertained by singing the best songs from The Little Mermaid and making Abbie crazy.
All you're going to be is one of the next bitches.
I get these fits where I just keep skipping everything iTunes plays even if I, like, love the song. Next, next, next, neeeeeeexxxxxxxxtttttttt. Until, of course, iTunes picks the one girl in all the world I cannot skip. Sometimes that takes a long time; sometimes it takes half a second. Oh, iTunes, you are so fickle.
And that's what would have happened if I'd invented the finglonger.
Handbrake is the greatest program ever written, people. I have ripped almost all my Futurama DVDs onto my iMac, and it was so easy! I can't believe I was so violently anti-Mac less than a year ago. I just wish I had, like, a 12TB hard drive so I could rip all of my DVDs onto it. I love the idea of being able to watch whatever you want whenever you want just by pointing a remote at your computer. No need to get up and put in discs! No need to figure out which box and which disc the time skips episode of Futurama is on. I am so lazy!
You didn't tell me you were taking me to a gay bar!
Mike and I went to the one gay bar in all of New Hampshire on Saturday for the first time in, like, two months, and we had such fun. We drank Bud Lights, didn't talk to anyone but the bartenders, and made fun of people all night long. That's the reason we go there in the first place, to make fun of all the gays trying too hard. And the unfortunate-looking people. Because Mike and I are the hottest, coolest, smartest gay people in New Hampshire. Just so you know. Also, we played pool, and I finally kicked his ass! Twice. Is that ice? Hi-yah!
Ahem. No, I mean, we do make fun of people, and we're jackasses, but I mean, I imagine people make fun of us too, so I don't really feel bad about it. We also spent some of the night making fun of each other. If you can't laugh at yourself (and other people!), then what is the point of anything?
Now I would like to take this opportunity to bemoan the state of the gay community in New Hampshire. The people who go out, anyway, are all...eeesh. I was in the bathroom at one point, and all the girls in there were dressed like little baby gangstas, talking about how they did too many drugs in high school to remember anything and how they didn't even graduate, and one of them had a baby, and I don't think any of them were even wearing "You can serve me alcohol" wristbands. That just made me sick. Druggies and dropouts and teenage moms. Come on! I know shit happens, but why can't you finish high school? And if you didn't finish high school, why would you go around bragging about it? Wouldn't you at least get your GED so you could get a job?
Even the girls who aren't bragging about dropping out of high school and being high all the time still dress like little gansters and pop their collars and generally make me unable to look at them. Where are the lesbians who wear flannel shirts and boys' t-shirts and clothes that fit??? This is why I only fall for straight girls. And also why I need to get out of New Hampshire. Which sucks because I like it here. And I don't do well with change--though I have gotten much better about that since my sophomore year of college.
Oh! Also? The one gay bar in all of New Hampshire attracts the ugliest drag queens I have ever seen. Nothing like Patrick Swayze.
Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!
Mike won't see Sweeney Todd with me because he is a wuss. I did not know this. I mean, he made me watch Silent Hill, which totally fuckin' freaked me out, and he can't go see Sweeney Todd? Jess! When are we going to see it? He also had issues with Kill Bill, the violence of which is so over the top, I can't believe it would bother anyone. My mom loved Kill Bill, and she does not go for that crap. I don't go for that crap either, but seriously, watching Lucy Liu scamper across the table to wallop that guy's head off was one of the most amazing movie experiences of my life. That is part of the reason that Cashmere Mafia makes me sad. The other part is, of course, the dicking around they're doing with this lesbian storyline. Stupid network television. No one's ever a lesbian for more than six episodes.
Now I get why award shows are important:
How mother-fucking amazing is that woman? (Thanks to afterellen.com for that bit of beautifulness.) I also like how Chandra Wilson and Jane Krakowski both seem so excited for Ms. Fey. Beautiful.
January 26, 2008
As it is I'll dream of her tonight
Okay, I had the weirdest dream this morning. It involved Brandi and the boys playing a show in my basement and all kinds of other bananas. First, my basement was apparently connected to this night club that my dad owned (what? I haven't lived with my dad for ten years), and that's where the show was taking place, and I seemed to know in the dream that they were opening for the Indigo Girls, but there was practically no one in the audience, and I just busted in, late, from the house side of the basement and stood right in front. Then Brandi's dog was following me around, and I guess the show was over, because Brandi started following both of us, and she was wearing this Red Sox t-shirt and a backwards Red Sox hat (which was just adorable), and I was like, "Nice shirt, Brandi," and in reply she said something about getting those two modes of transportation started, which made perfect sense to me in the dream, but now I have no idea what the hell that could have meant. Then she and her dog disappeared, and I was like, "Hey, wait, what the hell?" And then I found her working at some kind of Home Depot-ish place, wearing an apron and a nametag that bore the name of the girl I have a stupid crush on at Bath & Body Works, and I was like, "You are not her. You don't even work here. What're you doin', Carlile?" (I apparently felt like I knew her well enough to call her by her last name.) She just smiled at me, all flirty, and went to help customers, and I was all dressed in my BBW garb for some reason, despite being at Home Depot, and then I must have woken up, because there was no resolution to this at all.
The weirdest part was having Brandi and the boys in the basement. And the club part basically looked like an unfinished basement, and at one point, I was just hanging from a pole that was supporting the ceiling (we had those in the basement of our first house in Nashua), and it was just bizarre. I retold all that really crappily, but dreams are impossible to retell because they have no narrative structure whatsoever. That drives me crazy.
The weirdest part was having Brandi and the boys in the basement. And the club part basically looked like an unfinished basement, and at one point, I was just hanging from a pole that was supporting the ceiling (we had those in the basement of our first house in Nashua), and it was just bizarre. I retold all that really crappily, but dreams are impossible to retell because they have no narrative structure whatsoever. That drives me crazy.
January 25, 2008
Ferg-breath!
Okay, I lied. I got inspired. But I'm not taking down the squirrel. He's so small! And he's sitting on a stapler!
Nickelodeon shows I miss:
Space Cases
Invader Zim
Salute Your Shorts
The Secret World of Alex Mack
All That before all the cast changes
Clarissa Explains It All
Wild 'n Crazy Kids
Doug
The Adventures of Pete & Pete
You Can't Do That on Television--I barely remember this one, because it was on when I was really young, but it was classic.
Are You Afraid of the Dark? would send me into fits of hyperimagination, and I wouldn't be able to sleep for days, but I imagine if I were to revisit any of those episodes now, I would find them embarrassingly not terrifying. And what the fuck was that show that involved Marc Summers and pies in the face? What Would You Do?! Thanks, imdb. That show was superdumb, too. Also, I did not like Hey, Dude! or Ren & Stimpy, except for the Log song. Oh, also, also, back a million years ago, Nickelodeon used to show ancient reruns of Dennis the Menace and Lassie on weekend afternoons, and that was always the most disappointing thing ever. I could never watch those.
Everything on Nickelodeon used to be so charmingly odd, but now it's all, like, sanitized versions of WB teen dramas. No one is weird. No one has a little brother with the same name and a tattoo of a flamenco dancer on his arm. No one's name is Ferguson. None of the theme songs includes the word 'fart.' And Sam and Clarissa did the ladder into the bedroom window thing looooooong before Dawson and Joey. And it was never creepy, so there. I totally loved Sam's little theme music for whenever the ladder banged against the house and up he climbed, too.
Stupid Comcast used to have a stupid channel where they showed a bunch of old Nickelodeon game shows: GUTS, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Figure It Out (which suuuuucked), Get the Picture, Double Dare, etc., but then The N went twenty-four/seven (which would be sweet if all they showed was Degrassi and South of Nowhere and all those other cheesy teen soaps, but every damn time I turn it on, it's The Fresh Prince of Bel Air or Kenan and Kel--and I've seen every episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air already, and Kenan and Kel is stupid) and took over channel 224, which had previously been Nickelodeon Games and Sports (or whatever the eff it was called).
Speaking of Degrassi and South of Nowhere, new episodes are supposed to start soon, and all I can say is that there had better well be a lot more girlkissing on South of Nowhere. It's the only show on all of television with a teenage lesbian character, and she doesn't get to kiss anyone. And she's so cute! But she kind of has tragic taste in girls.
I am trying to get a piece of Chinese food out from between my teeth with a paperclip. It's not workin' out so well. And I get the feeling that a paperclip is not a teeth-cleaning tool approved by four out of five dentists.
Nickelodeon shows I miss:
Space Cases
Invader Zim
Salute Your Shorts
The Secret World of Alex Mack
All That before all the cast changes
Clarissa Explains It All
Wild 'n Crazy Kids
Doug
The Adventures of Pete & Pete
You Can't Do That on Television--I barely remember this one, because it was on when I was really young, but it was classic.
Are You Afraid of the Dark? would send me into fits of hyperimagination, and I wouldn't be able to sleep for days, but I imagine if I were to revisit any of those episodes now, I would find them embarrassingly not terrifying. And what the fuck was that show that involved Marc Summers and pies in the face? What Would You Do?! Thanks, imdb. That show was superdumb, too. Also, I did not like Hey, Dude! or Ren & Stimpy, except for the Log song. Oh, also, also, back a million years ago, Nickelodeon used to show ancient reruns of Dennis the Menace and Lassie on weekend afternoons, and that was always the most disappointing thing ever. I could never watch those.
Everything on Nickelodeon used to be so charmingly odd, but now it's all, like, sanitized versions of WB teen dramas. No one is weird. No one has a little brother with the same name and a tattoo of a flamenco dancer on his arm. No one's name is Ferguson. None of the theme songs includes the word 'fart.' And Sam and Clarissa did the ladder into the bedroom window thing looooooong before Dawson and Joey. And it was never creepy, so there. I totally loved Sam's little theme music for whenever the ladder banged against the house and up he climbed, too.
Stupid Comcast used to have a stupid channel where they showed a bunch of old Nickelodeon game shows: GUTS, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Figure It Out (which suuuuucked), Get the Picture, Double Dare, etc., but then The N went twenty-four/seven (which would be sweet if all they showed was Degrassi and South of Nowhere and all those other cheesy teen soaps, but every damn time I turn it on, it's The Fresh Prince of Bel Air or Kenan and Kel--and I've seen every episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air already, and Kenan and Kel is stupid) and took over channel 224, which had previously been Nickelodeon Games and Sports (or whatever the eff it was called).
Speaking of Degrassi and South of Nowhere, new episodes are supposed to start soon, and all I can say is that there had better well be a lot more girlkissing on South of Nowhere. It's the only show on all of television with a teenage lesbian character, and she doesn't get to kiss anyone. And she's so cute! But she kind of has tragic taste in girls.
I am trying to get a piece of Chinese food out from between my teeth with a paperclip. It's not workin' out so well. And I get the feeling that a paperclip is not a teeth-cleaning tool approved by four out of five dentists.
Takin' my sweet time today
Look, look! It's a squirrel on a stapler!
(snagged from cuteoverload.com)
Okay, that's really all I have for today. I updated three times yesterday, and I am out of thoughts. Well, thoughts that are appropriate to broadcast on the internets, anyway. So for today, January 25, enjoy the teeny squirrel on the office supplies.
(snagged from cuteoverload.com)Okay, that's really all I have for today. I updated three times yesterday, and I am out of thoughts. Well, thoughts that are appropriate to broadcast on the internets, anyway. So for today, January 25, enjoy the teeny squirrel on the office supplies.
January 24, 2008
Who're Enrique and Ricardo?
TV sucked last night. No lesbians on Cashmere Mafia--well, not no lesbians, but, like, five seconds of lesbians, and the one lesbian scene was a hideous cliche which just made my teeth hurt. Seriously? Asking someone you've just met where she's gonna get her donor sperm? Lesbians don't act like that, christ. We're not obsessed with moving in together and starting a family and being all committed and shit; lesbians are all about immediately moving in together and getting some cats. Get it right.
That wasn't as funny as I thought it would be.
Fuckin' Ricky won a challenge last night. Fuckin' Ricky! I just want him off the show because I can't stand looking at him. He shouldn't have taken that hit for Kit--their failure was her fault--but I hate him entirely separately from that debacle. The blubbering and the stupid hats and the outlasting Kit. Okay, maybe not entirely separately. He is worse than Andrae with the meltdowns every week, jeez. I know he probably hasn't slept in a month, but keep it together, guy. Also, Christian's outfit was more interesting--uglier, but far more interesting--and Sweet P should have won. Okay? Sweet! P! In a non-Ricky note, I watched Bravo's online preview for last night's episode at work yesterday, and as soon as Victorya started talking about her mother, I was like, "So long, Victorya!" It's kind of a rip if you know who's going home before the episode even airs.
This season is so weird because I am not attached to anyone. And no one is funny like Jay or Santino. Bah. I do like Chris a lot though. But I am so done with Rami. His avant-garde look was a mess last week, too, and he was a jerk. Kit's look was a mess, but she wasn't a jerk. Kit wins! Stupid Rami. Stupid judges!
You know who else breaks my rule for blonde girls in glasses? Rachael Harris, who used to be on The Daily Show and then all those VH1 specials and has now been relegated to doing commercials for those 100 calorie snack pack things. What the hell happened? She's funny. And pretty. Put her in something other than a stupid commercial!
So that's three:
Rachael Harris
Jillian's model
that girl at the gas station
No one's hotter than Tina Fey, though.
So let's talk about books. I finished The Night Watch the other day, and I've gotta say it's, like, miles ahead of Tipping the Velvet and Fingersmith. Maybe because it doesn't take place in Victorian England, but WWII England. Aha! The twentieth century. Much better. Sarah Waters keeps getting compared to Dickens, but she has an editor, so none of her words are needless, which is my primary issue with Dickens--too many goddamn words that aren't doing anything to advance the plot or provide character insight. They're just there, being words. John Irving gets this comparison, too. John Irving and Sarah Waters are like the best of Charles Dickens, plus a lot more sex. (And by a lot more, I mean, there is sex in these novels at all.) Even better: lesbian sex. Even, even better: John Irving includes lesbian sex in his novels, too. (Not as graphically as Waters, but you know. It's there.) Two of them. I think. Anyway!
The Night Watch is told backwards, starting in 1947, then going back to 1944, then ending with the beginning of these characters' stories in 1941. This is the kind of gimmick that could drive me mad, but it's not a gimmick in Waters's hands, more of a conceit, if you will, and she uses it perfectly. It was fascinating to read a story backwards and then make all the connections and try to figure things out as you went back--and it could have very easily been seizure-inducing. This woman knows how to tell a story. Four stars.
Top ten Project Runway contestants!*
1. Uli Herzner
2. Jay McCarroll
3. Allison Kelly
4. Santino Rice
5. Daniel Vosovic (the boy did his own version of "Part of Your World" for his audition video--if he'd been a girl, that would have rocketed him to the top of this list)
6. Kara Saun
7. Austin Scarlett
8. Kit "Pistol" Scarbo
9. Chloe Dao
10. Robert Best
*This list has nothing to do with clothes, just how much I enjoyed watching them on tv.
That wasn't as funny as I thought it would be.
Fuckin' Ricky won a challenge last night. Fuckin' Ricky! I just want him off the show because I can't stand looking at him. He shouldn't have taken that hit for Kit--their failure was her fault--but I hate him entirely separately from that debacle. The blubbering and the stupid hats and the outlasting Kit. Okay, maybe not entirely separately. He is worse than Andrae with the meltdowns every week, jeez. I know he probably hasn't slept in a month, but keep it together, guy. Also, Christian's outfit was more interesting--uglier, but far more interesting--and Sweet P should have won. Okay? Sweet! P! In a non-Ricky note, I watched Bravo's online preview for last night's episode at work yesterday, and as soon as Victorya started talking about her mother, I was like, "So long, Victorya!" It's kind of a rip if you know who's going home before the episode even airs.
This season is so weird because I am not attached to anyone. And no one is funny like Jay or Santino. Bah. I do like Chris a lot though. But I am so done with Rami. His avant-garde look was a mess last week, too, and he was a jerk. Kit's look was a mess, but she wasn't a jerk. Kit wins! Stupid Rami. Stupid judges!
You know who else breaks my rule for blonde girls in glasses? Rachael Harris, who used to be on The Daily Show and then all those VH1 specials and has now been relegated to doing commercials for those 100 calorie snack pack things. What the hell happened? She's funny. And pretty. Put her in something other than a stupid commercial!
So that's three:
Rachael Harris
Jillian's model
that girl at the gas station
No one's hotter than Tina Fey, though.
So let's talk about books. I finished The Night Watch the other day, and I've gotta say it's, like, miles ahead of Tipping the Velvet and Fingersmith. Maybe because it doesn't take place in Victorian England, but WWII England. Aha! The twentieth century. Much better. Sarah Waters keeps getting compared to Dickens, but she has an editor, so none of her words are needless, which is my primary issue with Dickens--too many goddamn words that aren't doing anything to advance the plot or provide character insight. They're just there, being words. John Irving gets this comparison, too. John Irving and Sarah Waters are like the best of Charles Dickens, plus a lot more sex. (And by a lot more, I mean, there is sex in these novels at all.) Even better: lesbian sex. Even, even better: John Irving includes lesbian sex in his novels, too. (Not as graphically as Waters, but you know. It's there.) Two of them. I think. Anyway!
The Night Watch is told backwards, starting in 1947, then going back to 1944, then ending with the beginning of these characters' stories in 1941. This is the kind of gimmick that could drive me mad, but it's not a gimmick in Waters's hands, more of a conceit, if you will, and she uses it perfectly. It was fascinating to read a story backwards and then make all the connections and try to figure things out as you went back--and it could have very easily been seizure-inducing. This woman knows how to tell a story. Four stars.
Top ten Project Runway contestants!*
1. Uli Herzner
2. Jay McCarroll
3. Allison Kelly
4. Santino Rice
5. Daniel Vosovic (the boy did his own version of "Part of Your World" for his audition video--if he'd been a girl, that would have rocketed him to the top of this list)
6. Kara Saun
7. Austin Scarlett
8. Kit "Pistol" Scarbo
9. Chloe Dao
10. Robert Best
*This list has nothing to do with clothes, just how much I enjoyed watching them on tv.
Bork! Bork!
So I was looking at the contestant bios for the new season of Top Chef, because clearly no one on this season of Runway is holding my attention. (Stop being so weird, Jillian.) Stop playing Ashlee Simpson songs, radio! Sorry. Sorry. Um, right, Top Chef.
The point of this entry was to say this:
How cute is Lisa?
I think it's the bandanna that really does it for me. I don't know why, but I totally love a girl in a bandanna. Example two:
I wish I had a bigger picture of this, but I cannot find one. Sad.
Anyway! Back to Lisa, potential Top Chef. According to afterellen.com, she's totally gay! And she's from Canada. Canadians are so cute.
Top Chef is weird, because it's about cooking and judging the cooking, and how can you have favorites based on the food? You can't eat it. So I usually go for the fun people and/or pretty girls. This past season had none of the above! Except for CJ--he was kind of fun. And Brian was weird. But no pretty girls! (Casey is only generically pretty, so whatev.) Second season, I was totally in love with Elia until she turned into a douche. First season, I just thought LeAnn was totally awesome, and Dave was somehow amusing, even though he cried just as much as Ricky does. Oh well. I never said I wasn't a hypocrite. And if I did, then I'm also a liar.
The point of this entry was to say this:
How cute is Lisa?
I think it's the bandanna that really does it for me. I don't know why, but I totally love a girl in a bandanna. Example two:
I wish I had a bigger picture of this, but I cannot find one. Sad.
Anyway! Back to Lisa, potential Top Chef. According to afterellen.com, she's totally gay! And she's from Canada. Canadians are so cute.
Top Chef is weird, because it's about cooking and judging the cooking, and how can you have favorites based on the food? You can't eat it. So I usually go for the fun people and/or pretty girls. This past season had none of the above! Except for CJ--he was kind of fun. And Brian was weird. But no pretty girls! (Casey is only generically pretty, so whatev.) Second season, I was totally in love with Elia until she turned into a douche. First season, I just thought LeAnn was totally awesome, and Dave was somehow amusing, even though he cried just as much as Ricky does. Oh well. I never said I wasn't a hypocrite. And if I did, then I'm also a liar.
Frantic update!
Kit Pistol wears glasses when sketching!
(thanks, Sunny.)
Hello! Did I even watch this show? Kit was supposed to be my favorite. That brings the blonde girls in glasses total up to four:
Kit Pistol
Rachael Harris
Jillian's model
mysterious gas station girl
Which is, absurdly enough, higher than my brunette girls in glasses total of three:
Tina Fey
that girl at Bath & Body Works I have a stupid crush on
Kelly Clarkson, at times
Of course, the redheads in glasses in the shortest list:
Ingrid Michaelson
We can probably leave mysterious gas station girl off the list, because I'll never see her again, but she is the one who made me catch myself in my lie.
Wow. I feel ridiculously shallow.
(thanks, Sunny.)Hello! Did I even watch this show? Kit was supposed to be my favorite. That brings the blonde girls in glasses total up to four:
Kit Pistol
Rachael Harris
Jillian's model
mysterious gas station girl
Which is, absurdly enough, higher than my brunette girls in glasses total of three:
Tina Fey
that girl at Bath & Body Works I have a stupid crush on
Kelly Clarkson, at times
Of course, the redheads in glasses in the shortest list:
Ingrid Michaelson
We can probably leave mysterious gas station girl off the list, because I'll never see her again, but she is the one who made me catch myself in my lie.
Wow. I feel ridiculously shallow.
January 23, 2008
Going overboard
Um, I have a problem.
Top ten fruits!
1. pineapples
2. McIntosh apples
3. blueberries
4. blackberries
5. strawberries
6. oranges
7. raspberries
8. watermelons
9. cantaloupes
10. pomegranates
Top ten fast food items!
1. Cheesy Gordita Crunch (Taco Bell)
2. waffle fries (Chick-Fil-A)
3. hash browns (McDonald's)
4. egg and cheese croissant sandwich (Dunkin' Donuts)
5. hash browns (Burger King)
6. chicken sandwich (Chick-Fil-A)
7. beef supreme chalupa (Taco Bell)
8. classic double with cheese (Wendy's)
9. chicken nuggets (Chick-Fil-A)
10. Mint cookies 'n creme milkshake (Chick-Fil-A)
Top ten most disgusting vegetables!
1. peas (out of the pod)
2. mushrooms
3. asparagus
4. brussles sprouts
5. lima beans
6. cauliflower
7. kidney beans
8. beets
9. squash
10. turnips
I wanted to include olives, but I think they're a fruit. I effing hate olives.
Just to show you that I'm balanced:
Top ten least disgusting vegetables!*
1. corn
2. potatoes (potatoes are a vegetable for this exercise)
3. broccoli
4. carrots
5. peas (in the pod)
6. onions
7. peppers
8. tomatoes (tomatoes are also a vegetable for this exercise)
9. celery
10. cucumbers
*It was actually easier to come up with this list than the most disgusting list.
Top ten soundtrack albums!
1. Legally Blonde: The Musical
2. Shrek 2
3. Rent (Broadway version)
4. Chicago (film version)
5. The Little Mermaid
6. Juno
7. I Am Sam
8. The Sound of Music (film version)
9. The Nightmare Before Christmas
10. Brokeback Mountain
And now some edits:
Top ten songs!
1. Carey - Joni Mitchell
2. Down with Disease - Phish
3. Downpour - Brandi Carlile
4. Least Complicated - Indigo Girls
5. Addicted - Kelly Clarkson
6. Hotel Song - Regina Spektor
7. Polyester Bride - Liz Phair
8. Michelle - The Beatles
9. The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson
10. Heavy Metal Drummer - Wilco
Honorable mentions: I've Just Seen a Face - The Beatles; Right Through You - Alanis Morissette; The Ghost of Corporate Future - Regina Spektor
Top ten Brand Carlile songs!
1. Downpour
2. The Clock
3. Closer to You
4. Somewhere Along the Way
5. Hiding My Heart
6. How These Days Grow Long
7. A Promise to Keep
8. My Song
9. Room for Me
10. The Story
Honorable mentions: Fall Apart Again, Late Morning Lullaby, Pride and Joy, Have You Ever
I find it entirely charming how Brandi used to introduce "My Song" by saying, "Now we're gonna go ahead and bring the rock." Adorable.
Last night, I watched 10 Things I Hate About You, because dead Heath Ledger bummed me out, and he's funny in this one. So is Allison Janney. Whatever happened to Larisa Oleynik? I miss you, Alex Mack. I can't decide if I think Julia Stiles is pretty. Gabrielle Union should not play a ditz--that's beneath her. Joey Gordon-Levitt (or, probably Joseph Gordon-Levitt, I'm sure he prefers now) will always be the kid from Angels in the Outfield.
Top ten fruits!
1. pineapples
2. McIntosh apples
3. blueberries
4. blackberries
5. strawberries
6. oranges
7. raspberries
8. watermelons
9. cantaloupes
10. pomegranates
Top ten fast food items!
1. Cheesy Gordita Crunch (Taco Bell)
2. waffle fries (Chick-Fil-A)
3. hash browns (McDonald's)
4. egg and cheese croissant sandwich (Dunkin' Donuts)
5. hash browns (Burger King)
6. chicken sandwich (Chick-Fil-A)
7. beef supreme chalupa (Taco Bell)
8. classic double with cheese (Wendy's)
9. chicken nuggets (Chick-Fil-A)
10. Mint cookies 'n creme milkshake (Chick-Fil-A)
Top ten most disgusting vegetables!
1. peas (out of the pod)
2. mushrooms
3. asparagus
4. brussles sprouts
5. lima beans
6. cauliflower
7. kidney beans
8. beets
9. squash
10. turnips
I wanted to include olives, but I think they're a fruit. I effing hate olives.
Just to show you that I'm balanced:
Top ten least disgusting vegetables!*
1. corn
2. potatoes (potatoes are a vegetable for this exercise)
3. broccoli
4. carrots
5. peas (in the pod)
6. onions
7. peppers
8. tomatoes (tomatoes are also a vegetable for this exercise)
9. celery
10. cucumbers
*It was actually easier to come up with this list than the most disgusting list.
Top ten soundtrack albums!
1. Legally Blonde: The Musical
2. Shrek 2
3. Rent (Broadway version)
4. Chicago (film version)
5. The Little Mermaid
6. Juno
7. I Am Sam
8. The Sound of Music (film version)
9. The Nightmare Before Christmas
10. Brokeback Mountain
And now some edits:
Top ten songs!
1. Carey - Joni Mitchell
2. Down with Disease - Phish
3. Downpour - Brandi Carlile
4. Least Complicated - Indigo Girls
5. Addicted - Kelly Clarkson
6. Hotel Song - Regina Spektor
7. Polyester Bride - Liz Phair
8. Michelle - The Beatles
9. The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson
10. Heavy Metal Drummer - Wilco
Honorable mentions: I've Just Seen a Face - The Beatles; Right Through You - Alanis Morissette; The Ghost of Corporate Future - Regina Spektor
Top ten Brand Carlile songs!
1. Downpour
2. The Clock
3. Closer to You
4. Somewhere Along the Way
5. Hiding My Heart
6. How These Days Grow Long
7. A Promise to Keep
8. My Song
9. Room for Me
10. The Story
Honorable mentions: Fall Apart Again, Late Morning Lullaby, Pride and Joy, Have You Ever
I find it entirely charming how Brandi used to introduce "My Song" by saying, "Now we're gonna go ahead and bring the rock." Adorable.
Last night, I watched 10 Things I Hate About You, because dead Heath Ledger bummed me out, and he's funny in this one. So is Allison Janney. Whatever happened to Larisa Oleynik? I miss you, Alex Mack. I can't decide if I think Julia Stiles is pretty. Gabrielle Union should not play a ditz--that's beneath her. Joey Gordon-Levitt (or, probably Joseph Gordon-Levitt, I'm sure he prefers now) will always be the kid from Angels in the Outfield.
Superfluous
All right, Twitter is busted, so here are my thoughts of the right now:
Jillian's model is a babe when she's waiting around for Jillian to finish her clothes. Wearin' her glasses.
I miss Kit.
Jillian's model is a babe when she's waiting around for Jillian to finish her clothes. Wearin' her glasses.
I miss Kit.
January 22, 2008
Lists!
This one's for Sunny, since it's her fault I'm thinking in this manner these days.
Okay, I did the favorite books, so let's go for my ten favorite films. I already tried to do twenty a few days ago--I imagine this list will look different. Oh, these lists are all subject to change any time I see/hear/read something new. They're a strange mix of my favorites of all time and my favorites of right now.
Top ten films!
1. Wayne's World
2. Mean Girls
3. Clueless
4. The Little Mermaid
5. Kill Bill
6. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
7. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
8. But I'm a Cheerleader
9. Romy & Michele's High School Reunion
10. Lilo & Stitch
Honorable mentions: A League of Their Own, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Top ten musicians/bands!
1. I'm going to let you guess the number one.
2. Alanis Morissette
3. Joni Mitchell
4. Liz Phair
5. Regina Spektor
6. Kelly Clarkson
7. Rufus Wainwright
8. Ben Folds
9. Ben Kweller
10. Wilco
Honorable mentions: Indigo Girls, Guster, and The White Stripes
Top ten albums!
1. The Story (Brandi Carlile)
2. Blue (Joni Mitchell)
3. Jagged Little Pill (Alanis Morissette)
4. Hoist (Phish) [the first album I ever bought--on cassette!]
5. Rubber Soul (The Beatles)
6. Whip-Smart (Liz Phair)
7. Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (Wilco)
8. MTV Unplugged in New York (Nirvana)
9. Soviet Kitsch (Regina Spektor)
10. My December (Kelly Clarkson)
Honorable mentions: Despite Our Differences (Indigo Girls), Elephant (The White Stripes), Revolver (The Beatles)
Top ten songs!
1. Carey - Joni Mitchell
2. Down with Disease - Phish
3. Downpour - Brandi Carlile
4. Least Complicated - Indigo Girls
5. Addicted - Kelly Clarkson
6. Polyester Bride - Liz Phair
7. Michelle - The Beatles
8. Baby Jesus - Regina Spektor
9. The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson
10. Heavy Metal Drummer - Wilco
Honorable mentions: I've Just Seen a Face - The Beatles; Right Through You - Alanis Morissette; The Ghost of Corporate Future - Regina Spektor
Top ten Brand Carlile songs!
1. Downpour
2. The Clock
3. Closer to You
4. Somewhere Along the Way
5. Hiding My Heart
6. How These Days Grow Long
7. A Promise to Keep
8. My Song
9. Have You Ever
10. The Story
Honorable mentions: Fall Apart Again, Late Morning Lullaby, Pride and Joy
And just to keep all the lists one place...
Top ten novels!
1. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
2. Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
3. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
4. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis
5. A Ring of Endless Light by Madeleine L'Engle
6. Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden
7. The Cider House Rules by John Irving
8. Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury
9. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkein
10. The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman
Honorable mentions: Spindle's End by Robin McKinley, The Neverending Story by Michael Ende
I would make more, but I've run out of ideas. Oh wait.
Top ten television shows!
1. My So-Called Life
2. 30 Rock
3. Futurama
4. Jeopardy!
5. Friday Night Lights
6. Project Runway
7. Gilmore Girls
8. Roswell (first season only)
9. South Park
10. Fraggle Rock
That reminds me: on Sunday, Martha asked me about Project Runway, and I was like, "Yeah, I've been watching it, and I am bitter about the dismissal of Kit," but then she wanted to keep discussing it, and I was like, "Shut up! There's a football game on." How rude of me. But, I mean, that Patriots game was making my brain short circuit.
I also got this weird myspace spam today, from some girl who was like, "I see you like Carrie Underwood, here's where you can listen to her new album online" or something, and I was like "What! Carrie Underwood? How dare you!" I fucking hate Carrie Underwood. That was not festive at all.
Okay, I did the favorite books, so let's go for my ten favorite films. I already tried to do twenty a few days ago--I imagine this list will look different. Oh, these lists are all subject to change any time I see/hear/read something new. They're a strange mix of my favorites of all time and my favorites of right now.
Top ten films!
1. Wayne's World
2. Mean Girls
3. Clueless
4. The Little Mermaid
5. Kill Bill
6. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
7. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
8. But I'm a Cheerleader
9. Romy & Michele's High School Reunion
10. Lilo & Stitch
Honorable mentions: A League of Their Own, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Top ten musicians/bands!
1. I'm going to let you guess the number one.
2. Alanis Morissette
3. Joni Mitchell
4. Liz Phair
5. Regina Spektor
6. Kelly Clarkson
7. Rufus Wainwright
8. Ben Folds
9. Ben Kweller
10. Wilco
Honorable mentions: Indigo Girls, Guster, and The White Stripes
Top ten albums!
1. The Story (Brandi Carlile)
2. Blue (Joni Mitchell)
3. Jagged Little Pill (Alanis Morissette)
4. Hoist (Phish) [the first album I ever bought--on cassette!]
5. Rubber Soul (The Beatles)
6. Whip-Smart (Liz Phair)
7. Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (Wilco)
8. MTV Unplugged in New York (Nirvana)
9. Soviet Kitsch (Regina Spektor)
10. My December (Kelly Clarkson)
Honorable mentions: Despite Our Differences (Indigo Girls), Elephant (The White Stripes), Revolver (The Beatles)
Top ten songs!
1. Carey - Joni Mitchell
2. Down with Disease - Phish
3. Downpour - Brandi Carlile
4. Least Complicated - Indigo Girls
5. Addicted - Kelly Clarkson
6. Polyester Bride - Liz Phair
7. Michelle - The Beatles
8. Baby Jesus - Regina Spektor
9. The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson
10. Heavy Metal Drummer - Wilco
Honorable mentions: I've Just Seen a Face - The Beatles; Right Through You - Alanis Morissette; The Ghost of Corporate Future - Regina Spektor
Top ten Brand Carlile songs!
1. Downpour
2. The Clock
3. Closer to You
4. Somewhere Along the Way
5. Hiding My Heart
6. How These Days Grow Long
7. A Promise to Keep
8. My Song
9. Have You Ever
10. The Story
Honorable mentions: Fall Apart Again, Late Morning Lullaby, Pride and Joy
And just to keep all the lists one place...
Top ten novels!
1. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
2. Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
3. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
4. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis
5. A Ring of Endless Light by Madeleine L'Engle
6. Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden
7. The Cider House Rules by John Irving
8. Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury
9. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkein
10. The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman
Honorable mentions: Spindle's End by Robin McKinley, The Neverending Story by Michael Ende
I would make more, but I've run out of ideas. Oh wait.
Top ten television shows!
1. My So-Called Life
2. 30 Rock
3. Futurama
4. Jeopardy!
5. Friday Night Lights
6. Project Runway
7. Gilmore Girls
8. Roswell (first season only)
9. South Park
10. Fraggle Rock
That reminds me: on Sunday, Martha asked me about Project Runway, and I was like, "Yeah, I've been watching it, and I am bitter about the dismissal of Kit," but then she wanted to keep discussing it, and I was like, "Shut up! There's a football game on." How rude of me. But, I mean, that Patriots game was making my brain short circuit.
I also got this weird myspace spam today, from some girl who was like, "I see you like Carrie Underwood, here's where you can listen to her new album online" or something, and I was like "What! Carrie Underwood? How dare you!" I fucking hate Carrie Underwood. That was not festive at all.
January 21, 2008
Take it away
First! An important internet poll: tattoos--hot or not?
Second! I hate working on holidays!
Third! That Patriots game was ugly, and Tom Brady had better well stop playing like he thinks he's Drew Bledsoe, as Martha's bf Adam so aptly noted.
My dad said if the Giants won yesterday, he was going to find some way to Arizona. I don't really think that's true, but I kind of really hope it is, because I would totally make him take me with him.
I love Wes Welker--he's so tiny compared to everyone else on the team. Like tiny, little Dustin Pedroia. So cute. So good at sports. (I'm still gay, shut up.)
My favorite thing about my new computer (one of my favorite things, anyway) is this Front Row thing, which allows you to access your entire media library with a remote, so you can play music or watch an episode of 30 Rock or a movie without even having to sit down at the computer. It's like the iMac is a tv. Now I want to rip all my DVDs even more than I did before, but I will run out of hard drive space so fast. Then I'd have this entire media library right at my fingertips; I could watch movies without having to put a DVD into anything. It would be so cool! Like I live in the future! Instead of the past, which is where I frequently find myself.
Friday Night Lights kind of sucks this season, and that is making me sad. All the other good television has come to an end, and that is super sad. I have so much nothing to watch that I actually watched the first two episodes of season 5 of The L-Word, and they were not good. Bah.
I don't know why I continue to own the soundtrack to the movie version of Rent.
The movie poster for The Eye, that remake of a Japanese horror movie starring Jessica Alba (...right), is even more horrifying than the poster for whatever that other one was I found terrifying, about your cell phone killing you or whatever. One Missed Call! Anyway, The Eye's poster has a close-up of a pair of eyes (actually Jessica Alba's? I cannot tell) with a hand coming out over the bottom lid of the left-hand eye. So. Creepy. That is another movie I shall never seen in a billion, trillion years.
What a disjointed blog entry. I apologize. My brain is on the fritz. I need a nap. And a blanket. It's freezing in here.
Second! I hate working on holidays!
Third! That Patriots game was ugly, and Tom Brady had better well stop playing like he thinks he's Drew Bledsoe, as Martha's bf Adam so aptly noted.
My dad said if the Giants won yesterday, he was going to find some way to Arizona. I don't really think that's true, but I kind of really hope it is, because I would totally make him take me with him.
I love Wes Welker--he's so tiny compared to everyone else on the team. Like tiny, little Dustin Pedroia. So cute. So good at sports. (I'm still gay, shut up.)
My favorite thing about my new computer (one of my favorite things, anyway) is this Front Row thing, which allows you to access your entire media library with a remote, so you can play music or watch an episode of 30 Rock or a movie without even having to sit down at the computer. It's like the iMac is a tv. Now I want to rip all my DVDs even more than I did before, but I will run out of hard drive space so fast. Then I'd have this entire media library right at my fingertips; I could watch movies without having to put a DVD into anything. It would be so cool! Like I live in the future! Instead of the past, which is where I frequently find myself.
Friday Night Lights kind of sucks this season, and that is making me sad. All the other good television has come to an end, and that is super sad. I have so much nothing to watch that I actually watched the first two episodes of season 5 of The L-Word, and they were not good. Bah.
I don't know why I continue to own the soundtrack to the movie version of Rent.
The movie poster for The Eye, that remake of a Japanese horror movie starring Jessica Alba (...right), is even more horrifying than the poster for whatever that other one was I found terrifying, about your cell phone killing you or whatever. One Missed Call! Anyway, The Eye's poster has a close-up of a pair of eyes (actually Jessica Alba's? I cannot tell) with a hand coming out over the bottom lid of the left-hand eye. So. Creepy. That is another movie I shall never seen in a billion, trillion years.
What a disjointed blog entry. I apologize. My brain is on the fritz. I need a nap. And a blanket. It's freezing in here.
January 19, 2008
High nerd factor
Fly-by-night weekend blog update:
After years of outright Apple hatred, I finally caved, threw my principles out the window, and bought an iMac. It's lovely. I can't even handle it. It's almost better to watch tv on than an actual television. Like, right now, for example, I am watching the first season of 30 Rock, and it's totally awesome.
There was something else I wanted to say, but, like, 30 Rock is too funny. And Tina Fey is too pretty. And... the end!
Oh, wait, I remember. And I can't believe that I've waited so long to tell this story to the internet. For the first time in my life, I gave away a book. Seven books, actually. Seven of my favorite books, even. I know! I don't really know how I was able to let them go. Perhaps the fact that I also have them in hard cover helped. But Allison said she'd never read The Chronicles of Narnia and that she wanted them, so I just got up and threw her my paperback box set, because well... if someone wants to read a book that I have, I can't hang onto it, apparently. Hearing that someone wants to read makes me less materialistic.
Now, I just need Allison to tell me that she's reading them.
Also, I really don't need two copies of the same seven books, do I.
Also, also, in this episode that I am watching right now, Liz Lemon goes on a date with the guy who plays Miranda Otto's idiot cheating husband on Cashmere Mafia. And then finds out he's her cousin. Ewwww. I liked the balding guy with the Japanese pie watch better.
Hey, Seth!
After years of outright Apple hatred, I finally caved, threw my principles out the window, and bought an iMac. It's lovely. I can't even handle it. It's almost better to watch tv on than an actual television. Like, right now, for example, I am watching the first season of 30 Rock, and it's totally awesome.
There was something else I wanted to say, but, like, 30 Rock is too funny. And Tina Fey is too pretty. And... the end!
Oh, wait, I remember. And I can't believe that I've waited so long to tell this story to the internet. For the first time in my life, I gave away a book. Seven books, actually. Seven of my favorite books, even. I know! I don't really know how I was able to let them go. Perhaps the fact that I also have them in hard cover helped. But Allison said she'd never read The Chronicles of Narnia and that she wanted them, so I just got up and threw her my paperback box set, because well... if someone wants to read a book that I have, I can't hang onto it, apparently. Hearing that someone wants to read makes me less materialistic.
Now, I just need Allison to tell me that she's reading them.
Also, I really don't need two copies of the same seven books, do I.
Also, also, in this episode that I am watching right now, Liz Lemon goes on a date with the guy who plays Miranda Otto's idiot cheating husband on Cashmere Mafia. And then finds out he's her cousin. Ewwww. I liked the balding guy with the Japanese pie watch better.
Hey, Seth!
January 18, 2008
You're part of something good
I went to the beach last night just because I could, and it felt good to be outside, even in the biting cold. The beach smells different in the winter; the salt and sand smells are muted. By the cold? I don't know. But it was fun. I wandered around down by the water, singing "Have You Ever" out loud because no one was around, and looking for starfish. Mike claims he and Laura found frozen starfish on the beach in the winter once, but I still don't believe him. I tried to take some pictures, but it was way too dark for any of them to come out well. But! I posted them to flickr anyway.
I'll just have to go back during daylight hours. Maybe then I'll even polar bear it. But probably not. I am much more of a wuss these days than I was when I was a kid. I hate getting older. If you check out the larger size of this picture, you can see the ocean better. I liked those rocks up on the beach; I climbed them a little, but they were slippery, and I kept putting my hands in my pockets because it was cold and losing my balance. They're completely covered at high tide. I love the beach at low tide. I love the beach at night. I vow to go there more often this summer. Fuck work.
And just because, this is what my cat was doing when I got home from work the other night:
I'll just have to go back during daylight hours. Maybe then I'll even polar bear it. But probably not. I am much more of a wuss these days than I was when I was a kid. I hate getting older. If you check out the larger size of this picture, you can see the ocean better. I liked those rocks up on the beach; I climbed them a little, but they were slippery, and I kept putting my hands in my pockets because it was cold and losing my balance. They're completely covered at high tide. I love the beach at low tide. I love the beach at night. I vow to go there more often this summer. Fuck work.
And just because, this is what my cat was doing when I got home from work the other night:
January 17, 2008
Let's go to the beach tonight with a bottle of wine
Oh my god, tv sucked last night. First, Kit Pistol got booted from the runway totally unfairly. I hate Ricky. I was totally gutted, just like when Allison got booted last year. Then I was, like, "Uh, it's just a reality television program. Get over it." But still! I was sad. Kit was the only one I loved. She was my Allison and my Uli, and now she's gone.
Second, still not enough Caitlin on Cashmere Mafia and not nearly enough lesbian action. And next week she meets a guy! Why do I bother?
I think I want to go to the beach tonight. It's supposed to snow, but not till after midnight I think. Still, I haven't been up there this winter, and my toes need a good dose of frostbite. I wanted to go with Mike, but he has class tonight. School ruins everything. However! I did get to make a new playlist for this pilgrimage. Behold:
Solitary winter beach jaunt mix:
1. You Turn Me On I'm a Radio - Joni Mitchell
2. Have You Ever - Brandi Carlile
3. The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson
4. And Your Bird Can Sing - The Beatles
5. Supernova - Liz Phair
6. Little Perennials - Indigo Girls
7. Carbon Monoxide - Cake
8. Bang Bang - Dispatch
9. Surf Wax America - Weezer
10. Rebel Prince - Rufus Wainwright
11. Toes - Norah Jones
12. There's a Girl - The Ditty Bops
13. Midnight Train to Georgia - The Cast of 30 Rock
14. All I Want Is You - Barry Louis Polisar
15. Hotel Song - Regina Spektor
16. Troubled Times - Fountains of Wayne
17. Fairytale - Sarah Bareilles
18. Can I Have a Kiss - Kelly Clarkson
19. Black Wave - The Shins
20. Gonna Make You Love Me - Ryan Adams
21. Chordless - Jess Kaps
22. Blood Roses - Tori Amos
23. Spider Pig - Hans Zimmer
24. No creo - Shakira
25. Kathleen - Josh Ritter
26. Better Son/Daughter - Rilo Kiley
27. Fairy Godmother Song - Jennifer Saunders
28. The Luckiest - Ben Folds
29. Wading in the Velvet Sea - Phish
30. Melissa - The Allman Brothers Band
31. Doth I Protest Too Much - Alanis Morissette
32. Tenderly - Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem
33. Comfortable - John Mayer
34. You're Pretty Good Looking (for a Girl) - The White Stripes
35. Every Day I Love You Less and Less - Kaiser Chiefs
36. Handle with Care - Jenny Lewis
37. On My Way - Ben Kweller
38. Paper Bag - Fiona Apple
39. My Guitar - Jump, Little Children
40. Red Oyster Cult - Guster
41. Friend of the Devil - Counting Crows
42. Last of Days - A Fine Frenzy
43. Garden of Delights - Lisa Loeb
That should last me. Half of the point of going on a roadtrip is picking out the music to go with you. I know this is a lame roadtrip, but I love the beach at night, and I love the beach in the winter, and I am done with watching tv at night. Bah.
Last night I had a dream about the stupid girl I have a hopeless crush on these days, and it was so weird, because it involved my grandparents living in an apartment at the end of the mall by JC Penney, except JC Penney is in the middle of the mall, and Bath & Body Works looked all wrong, and I left one of my shoes behind in my grandparents' apartment (just one) and had to go back to get it. But as we were walking to work, the girl took my hand, and I was just happy. I hate waking up from dreams like that. I don't know if the girl even still works at Bath & Body Works; I haven't seen her in two weeks. Sigh.
I got bit by a list-making bug, so just in case any of you out there in the internet were curious, here are my ten favorite books, ever, at this moment:
1. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
2. Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
3. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
4. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis
5. A Ring of Endless Light by Madeleine L'Engle
6. Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden
7. The Cider House Rules by John Irving
8. Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury
9. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkein
10. The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman
Almost made the list:
Spindle's End by Robin McKinley
The Neverending Story by Michael Ende
I am so excited for Prince Caspian I can't even tell you. I love this shit. There are barely any blatant Christian themes in this one, but Susan is such a pill in the book it makes me sad. I can't see a way around "everyone sees the lion but Susan the pill and Trumpkin the skeptic," but I think the movie lets her redeem herself, which the book does not. I love The Chronicles of Narnia, but I have so many issues with the books. Maybe that's part of the reason I love it--you know I love to pick things apart, and there is ample ammo for bitching in these seven books.
Second, still not enough Caitlin on Cashmere Mafia and not nearly enough lesbian action. And next week she meets a guy! Why do I bother?
I think I want to go to the beach tonight. It's supposed to snow, but not till after midnight I think. Still, I haven't been up there this winter, and my toes need a good dose of frostbite. I wanted to go with Mike, but he has class tonight. School ruins everything. However! I did get to make a new playlist for this pilgrimage. Behold:
Solitary winter beach jaunt mix:
1. You Turn Me On I'm a Radio - Joni Mitchell
2. Have You Ever - Brandi Carlile
3. The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson
4. And Your Bird Can Sing - The Beatles
5. Supernova - Liz Phair
6. Little Perennials - Indigo Girls
7. Carbon Monoxide - Cake
8. Bang Bang - Dispatch
9. Surf Wax America - Weezer
10. Rebel Prince - Rufus Wainwright
11. Toes - Norah Jones
12. There's a Girl - The Ditty Bops
13. Midnight Train to Georgia - The Cast of 30 Rock
14. All I Want Is You - Barry Louis Polisar
15. Hotel Song - Regina Spektor
16. Troubled Times - Fountains of Wayne
17. Fairytale - Sarah Bareilles
18. Can I Have a Kiss - Kelly Clarkson
19. Black Wave - The Shins
20. Gonna Make You Love Me - Ryan Adams
21. Chordless - Jess Kaps
22. Blood Roses - Tori Amos
23. Spider Pig - Hans Zimmer
24. No creo - Shakira
25. Kathleen - Josh Ritter
26. Better Son/Daughter - Rilo Kiley
27. Fairy Godmother Song - Jennifer Saunders
28. The Luckiest - Ben Folds
29. Wading in the Velvet Sea - Phish
30. Melissa - The Allman Brothers Band
31. Doth I Protest Too Much - Alanis Morissette
32. Tenderly - Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem
33. Comfortable - John Mayer
34. You're Pretty Good Looking (for a Girl) - The White Stripes
35. Every Day I Love You Less and Less - Kaiser Chiefs
36. Handle with Care - Jenny Lewis
37. On My Way - Ben Kweller
38. Paper Bag - Fiona Apple
39. My Guitar - Jump, Little Children
40. Red Oyster Cult - Guster
41. Friend of the Devil - Counting Crows
42. Last of Days - A Fine Frenzy
43. Garden of Delights - Lisa Loeb
That should last me. Half of the point of going on a roadtrip is picking out the music to go with you. I know this is a lame roadtrip, but I love the beach at night, and I love the beach in the winter, and I am done with watching tv at night. Bah.
Last night I had a dream about the stupid girl I have a hopeless crush on these days, and it was so weird, because it involved my grandparents living in an apartment at the end of the mall by JC Penney, except JC Penney is in the middle of the mall, and Bath & Body Works looked all wrong, and I left one of my shoes behind in my grandparents' apartment (just one) and had to go back to get it. But as we were walking to work, the girl took my hand, and I was just happy. I hate waking up from dreams like that. I don't know if the girl even still works at Bath & Body Works; I haven't seen her in two weeks. Sigh.
I got bit by a list-making bug, so just in case any of you out there in the internet were curious, here are my ten favorite books, ever, at this moment:
1. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
2. Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
3. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
4. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis
5. A Ring of Endless Light by Madeleine L'Engle
6. Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden
7. The Cider House Rules by John Irving
8. Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury
9. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkein
10. The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman
Almost made the list:
Spindle's End by Robin McKinley
The Neverending Story by Michael Ende
I am so excited for Prince Caspian I can't even tell you. I love this shit. There are barely any blatant Christian themes in this one, but Susan is such a pill in the book it makes me sad. I can't see a way around "everyone sees the lion but Susan the pill and Trumpkin the skeptic," but I think the movie lets her redeem herself, which the book does not. I love The Chronicles of Narnia, but I have so many issues with the books. Maybe that's part of the reason I love it--you know I love to pick things apart, and there is ample ammo for bitching in these seven books.
January 16, 2008
What is this, a skittle?
Oh my god, winter coats can be so warm! It was frigid outside today, and I didn't even feel it except in my face. I totally forgot. My coat, military-inspired though it may be, is super awesome. So much better than a zippered hoodie. And, you know, as much as I hate the idea of a standing army/navy/whatever, I kind of have a thing for girls in uniform. Not slutty Catholic school uniforms--I'm not a perv, and I went to Catholic school, so. Not impressed. Anyway, there's the one girl in that "the few, the proud, the Marines" commercial, and I kind of have a crush on her. And then there was this lady cop evacuating Liberty Island when we were there this summer, and I was like, "Oh. I like her," and my roommates were like, "Oh, Christ, let's go already, you big lez." (Total paraphrasing, because the good little Catholic girls don't say "oh, Christ," and it's one of my favorite interjections, especially when I'm around them. I'm an insensitive asshole, what can I say? Was that redundant? "Insensitive asshole"?)
I'm so sad since you went away.
Ugh, so I watched, like, ten minutes of American Idol yesterday, and it was so ugly. Then Liz demanded that I meet her for drinks, so I did. That was way better than the rest of American Idol. And apparently Jess is already in love with some guy who auditioned last night. I liked it better when she was in love with Hot Pants Scarnato.
Oh! The funny thing Jillian did last week was make fun of Kit Pistol! I can't remember how Kit reacted to that; I hope she wasn't all rankled. Then I would have to love her less. Runway is on toniiiiiiight, and I don't have to woooork. The less fabulous Cashmere Mafia is on tonight, too, but I still want to know what's up with Caitlin, the maybe-lesbian. I don't get Showtime, okay? This is all I get for gay girls on tv. There are never any lesbians on Project Runway. Or American Idol.
Do you say something in your comedy that Clay might be gay?
Seriously, Kelly Clarkson--no wait. Nikki McKibbin was the gayest girl on that show, but she had a kid, so... Not totally gay. I don't actually think Kelly's a lesbian, but she is a little bit gay: terrible luck with men, girlcrush on Angelina, some kind of thing for Melissa Etheridge, loves The Story... Oh! And in that video where Kelly says she's been listening to Brandi, she also says she thinks Sarah Silverman is hilarious, which is something I would not have expected from her. Kelly Clarkson is cooler than even I thought. Sarah Silverman is hilarious but also horrifying, so I go back and forth on her.
And by "Jap," I mean "Japanese."
I miss Mike. We hung out Friday night, but that's not enough. What are we doing with our lives?
I keep meaning to go to the library to get Stardust (movies at the library are free!), but it's all downtown and stuff, and when I leave work, I just want to go right home. For someone who loves books so effin' much, I probably haven't been to the library enough. I think the last time I was there was 2005, when I was reading all the Newbery-award winners. But that's because I compulsively buy books. Going to the library would be rather cheaper...
Mike Huckabee continues to horrify me. The Constitution of the United States of America should have absolutely nothing to do with what one person believes is God's word or whatever. Okay, I know there are terrifying numbers of people who agree with Mike Huckabee's beliefs about God, but those beliefs have no place in government. The right to a safe abortion cannot be denied based upon religious beliefs. Homosexuals cannot be denied the same rights as heterosexuals because somebody's stupid religion says homosexuality is a sin. They cannot be denied rights for any reason other than the reasons that heterosexuals are denied rights (committing crimes). But that's what Mike Huckabee wants to do: to amend the Constitution to take away a woman's reproductive rights and to deny gay people even the possibility of enjoying the same rights and privileges as straight people, because he thinks that's what God wants. The laws of men have nothing to do with the alleged laws of an alleged god, because in this country, everyone can believe something different about God. If Mike Huckabee even wins the nomination, we will become even closer to becoming a theocracy.
And I will move to Canada. Allison, start looking for a two-bedroom, huh?
Sorry for that awkward political rant, but ugh. This guy makes me sick to be an American.
Let's talk about girls, shall we? Except I kind of have nothing new to report. Brandi and the Indigo Girls still aren't coming to New England--neither are Kelly Clarkson and Reba McEntire, for that matter--and 30 Rock is done until the writers' strike is resolved. How much does this thing suck? Not for me or you, but for the writers, who all really, really just want to go back to work. Of course it sucks for us, too, but I am trying to think about someone other than myself for once. You know? I heard it was good for the soul. Fortunately, I have "Midnight Train to Georgia" to sustain me until Tina Fey returns to her rightful place on network television.
It was an 11:45, and I was misinformed about the time.
I haven't seen a show since Kelly at the Orpheum, and I need a concert to attend. No one I like is touring. Bah.
I'm so sad since you went away.
Ugh, so I watched, like, ten minutes of American Idol yesterday, and it was so ugly. Then Liz demanded that I meet her for drinks, so I did. That was way better than the rest of American Idol. And apparently Jess is already in love with some guy who auditioned last night. I liked it better when she was in love with Hot Pants Scarnato.
Oh! The funny thing Jillian did last week was make fun of Kit Pistol! I can't remember how Kit reacted to that; I hope she wasn't all rankled. Then I would have to love her less. Runway is on toniiiiiiight, and I don't have to woooork. The less fabulous Cashmere Mafia is on tonight, too, but I still want to know what's up with Caitlin, the maybe-lesbian. I don't get Showtime, okay? This is all I get for gay girls on tv. There are never any lesbians on Project Runway. Or American Idol.
Do you say something in your comedy that Clay might be gay?
Seriously, Kelly Clarkson--no wait. Nikki McKibbin was the gayest girl on that show, but she had a kid, so... Not totally gay. I don't actually think Kelly's a lesbian, but she is a little bit gay: terrible luck with men, girlcrush on Angelina, some kind of thing for Melissa Etheridge, loves The Story... Oh! And in that video where Kelly says she's been listening to Brandi, she also says she thinks Sarah Silverman is hilarious, which is something I would not have expected from her. Kelly Clarkson is cooler than even I thought. Sarah Silverman is hilarious but also horrifying, so I go back and forth on her.
And by "Jap," I mean "Japanese."
I miss Mike. We hung out Friday night, but that's not enough. What are we doing with our lives?
I keep meaning to go to the library to get Stardust (movies at the library are free!), but it's all downtown and stuff, and when I leave work, I just want to go right home. For someone who loves books so effin' much, I probably haven't been to the library enough. I think the last time I was there was 2005, when I was reading all the Newbery-award winners. But that's because I compulsively buy books. Going to the library would be rather cheaper...
Mike Huckabee continues to horrify me. The Constitution of the United States of America should have absolutely nothing to do with what one person believes is God's word or whatever. Okay, I know there are terrifying numbers of people who agree with Mike Huckabee's beliefs about God, but those beliefs have no place in government. The right to a safe abortion cannot be denied based upon religious beliefs. Homosexuals cannot be denied the same rights as heterosexuals because somebody's stupid religion says homosexuality is a sin. They cannot be denied rights for any reason other than the reasons that heterosexuals are denied rights (committing crimes). But that's what Mike Huckabee wants to do: to amend the Constitution to take away a woman's reproductive rights and to deny gay people even the possibility of enjoying the same rights and privileges as straight people, because he thinks that's what God wants. The laws of men have nothing to do with the alleged laws of an alleged god, because in this country, everyone can believe something different about God. If Mike Huckabee even wins the nomination, we will become even closer to becoming a theocracy.
And I will move to Canada. Allison, start looking for a two-bedroom, huh?
Sorry for that awkward political rant, but ugh. This guy makes me sick to be an American.
Let's talk about girls, shall we? Except I kind of have nothing new to report. Brandi and the Indigo Girls still aren't coming to New England--neither are Kelly Clarkson and Reba McEntire, for that matter--and 30 Rock is done until the writers' strike is resolved. How much does this thing suck? Not for me or you, but for the writers, who all really, really just want to go back to work. Of course it sucks for us, too, but I am trying to think about someone other than myself for once. You know? I heard it was good for the soul. Fortunately, I have "Midnight Train to Georgia" to sustain me until Tina Fey returns to her rightful place on network television.
It was an 11:45, and I was misinformed about the time.
I haven't seen a show since Kelly at the Orpheum, and I need a concert to attend. No one I like is touring. Bah.
January 15, 2008
Vested
I was called to revisit that post where I displayed pictures of Brandi and Kelly in Red Sox hats this morning, so now I feel compelled to post pictures of them both wearing black vests:
I'm not even going to ask who looks better, because it's clearly Brandi once again. I just...have no ammunition for blogging today, and sometimes I just like to put pictures of pretty girls up on the internet. Even though both of these are already on my flickr page. Whatever.
All I need now is Tina Fey in a black vest. Not that I really want to see that. It would just complete my collection. Tina Fey in a Red Sox hat would be better. Actually... I am pretty sure Liz Lemon wore a black vest in that episode when she was "dating" Gretchen Thomas. Yeah, because she walked into Jack's office the morning after her blind date, and I was like, "Cripes. She's dressed like Brandi Carlile." Buttoned shirt, black vest, black pants, black Chuck Taylor-ish shoes:
"Those shoes are definitely bicurious."
I'm not even going to ask who looks better, because it's clearly Brandi once again. I just...have no ammunition for blogging today, and sometimes I just like to put pictures of pretty girls up on the internet. Even though both of these are already on my flickr page. Whatever.All I need now is Tina Fey in a black vest. Not that I really want to see that. It would just complete my collection. Tina Fey in a Red Sox hat would be better. Actually... I am pretty sure Liz Lemon wore a black vest in that episode when she was "dating" Gretchen Thomas. Yeah, because she walked into Jack's office the morning after her blind date, and I was like, "Cripes. She's dressed like Brandi Carlile." Buttoned shirt, black vest, black pants, black Chuck Taylor-ish shoes:
"Those shoes are definitely bicurious."January 14, 2008
I could be centerfield
So I was almost half an hour late for work today, not because of the snow, but because I couldn't find my iPod. I know getting to work on time should be more important than finding my iPod, but I can't face the day without that thing by my side. Driving to work without it would have been a nightmare.
My brother's stupid school canceled classes last night, so he was all doin' a little dance and shit, and clearly I'm just jealous, because never again will snow mean that I don't have to get up early in the morning. Working for a living ruins everything. I used to love the snow. Now I hate it. Also, I miss sleeping. I can't go to bed early--I just can't--and I can't sleep late, because I even work on the weekends. Bah.
I also hate snow days, because my mom always calls me at work in the middle of the day to tell me what she's making for dinner, like, that's nice, Ma. Really, I'm just bitter and jealous some more, and she's making chili and corn bread, which is, like, my favorite. I have a million favorites, but chili and corn bread is super good on a cold, snowy day.
Mike and Shannon just got the cutest new tiny kittens ever. They are so small. They're only, like, eight weeks old, and I'd never seen such a baby kitten in person before. Charles Wallace was twelve weeks old when I got him, because that's when the Humane Society puts kittens up for adoption, and he was a titan compared to these tiny things. The weird thing is that they've had these cats for a week, and they don't have names yet. Exactly half of the fun of getting a new pet is getting to name it. Actually, this fraction increases the less interactive the pet. Like, almost the entire reason for getting a fish is to get to name it something fun. Like, I named my first beta fish Hamlet, because I had a hermit crab named Horatio, and then when Hamlet basically committed suicide, I named his replacement Fortinbras. Did I mention I was a nerd? And that I took two semesters of Shakespeare in college? And not just because Dr. Lynch, Shakespeare professor extraordinaire, was awesome. Also, when I had a whole mess of goldfish, I named them, like, Meatwad, Pudge, Gil, Stewie, Jimmy, and Tina. For real.
How about that weekend of football upsets, huh? I was convinced that the Patriots would be playing the Colts next weekend, but it is not to be! Suck it, Peyton! Even though I hate the Cowboys (I guess I lied when I said I don't really hate any of the other NFL teams), I was convinced they would make Eli cry; I can't believe he didn't blow it. Oh, sadly, the Seahawks could not upset the Packers, and obviously, no one is going to beat the Patriots. All y'all who hate on the Pats just because they're good can suck it, okay? Do you know how long they sucked? Basically since they were the Boston Patriots until 2001. So let New England have their fun! This is going to be just like 2004, with the World Series and the Super Bowl going to New England, but it's going to be even bettah, because the Pats will be undefeated. Suck on that, Miami Dolphins of '72.
Okay, so maybe Tom Brady is kind of a dick. Whatever, at least he's not as goddamn ubiquitous as Peyton Manning. And, god, did you see the roughing-up of my main man Wes Welker during the Jacksonville game? There were all kinds of bullshit penalties on the Patriots during that game (at home!), and Welker had a goose egg on his head from face-masking and other kinds of unnecessary roughness, and no one did anything. Bitches. Also, that controversial first quarter touchdown pass after David Garrard was already down set the Bostonians I was watching the game with into fits. Fits! I was like, "Yeah, Belichick should have challenged that, but what're you gonna do?" It's not like they were gonna lose.
You know, I forgot I loved watching football, because I was working all the time last year, and I was never even home for a game. Good thing I scaled back this year. Baseball is much more accessible, because it's on all the time. I think it's time for black-market organ-selling so I can go to more than two Red Sox games this year. Also, I think I should make Sarah take me to a Nationals game, so I can slowly move closer to my goal of seeing a game in all the MLB stadiums. And then Allison will have to take me to see the Blue Jays. She will. And then I'll take her to see Brandi Carlile, and we'll be even. Then my dad will take me to Yankee Stadium, and I will root for whoever they're playing, but I will not wear any Red Sox paraphernalia, because I'm not that much an idiot. And then I'll have to go to Shea--or did they destroy that already? Is Pedro Martinez still on the Mets? I'm so out of touch with the National League. I guess a game in Philadelphia and a game in Pittsburgh could also be doable. Then I'll have to look into some serious traveling. I really wanna go to Wrigley Field, and I also want to see the Brewers play just because they're the beer team, and I like their uniforms. National League! The California teams don't appeal to me, but I'll have to go sometime. My dad went to wherever the Giants play, and he said it was all swanky and huge and stuff, and eh. That is not what I look for in a baseball stadium. Everything is going to fall short of Fenway, obviously, but, you know, Camden Yards was pretty nice. I also really wanna go to Seattle, and a Mariners game sounds like as good an excuse as any. (Also an acceptable excuse to fly across the country: Brandi Carlile concert. Shocking, I know.) But all this will have to wait until I'm rich. Sigh.
Oh! This is the last year for Yankee Stadium and Shea! I think a baseball pilgrimage to NYC is in order. So New York City, D.C., Toronto, Philadelphia, and Pittsburgh. That would bring my grand total of baseball stadiums (stadia!) up to eight. Woot. My aunt lives near San Francisco (ish), but I think I might have a hard time getting her to take me to a Giants game. Well, I could always go by myself. I'm a creepy loner like that. I could potentially swing a trip to Maryland on Memorial Day weekend again this year, provided that Sarah feels like hosting me, and the Nats are playing at home that whole weekend, and tickets on StubHub are starting at $14. $14! Jesus god, it is painful to be a Red Sox fan sometimes. I would imagine that means we could probably just buy tickets from the Nats themselves like we did for the Orioles. That is such a novelty to me. And! They're playing the Brewers that weekend. I just love the idea of the Brewers, even though I know absolutely nothing about them. If I wanted to see the Nationals in Houston (though...why? Well, I have to see a game in Houston eventually. It would just be more fun (and infinitely more expensive) if I were to go see the Red Sox), tickets start at $6! $6! Do you even get a seat for six dollars? Standing room at Sox games definitely costs more than six bucks. (Do other stadiums even have standing room tickets?) That is madness. To see the Red Sox in Houston would cost at least $87 right now (for those seats that are going for six dollars when the Nationals will be there, plus airfare and accommodations and ballpark beer). Stupid Red Sox. Astros-Yankees tickets are more expensive, though, as I thought they would be--haha! To see the Red Sox at Fenway on my birthday would cost at least $73 (for a bleacher seat--blech). Stupid Red Sox. I wouldn't change a thing about them, though.
Tickets to see the Nationals at Shea Stadium start at $5! Five. Dollars. I had no idea. This touring the baseball stadiums of the country thing is sounding somewhat more affordable. It would be even more affordable if I made it a road trip, but I can't take all that time off of work. Stupid work. Ruins everything. What would make it the most affordable, though, is if I went with my dad. He said he wanted to see a game in every stadium in the country too, without my bringing it up, even. So I'm hoping we'll go to Yankee Stadium this summer, even though he's already been there. I don't think he's been to Shea Stadium, so hopefully we can knock that one off too.
Look at me, getting all worked up about baseball in January. Whatever, I love it. I need a new Red Sox hat. Mine is all sun-bleached and stained with something unidentifiable, and it's just ugly.
My brother's stupid school canceled classes last night, so he was all doin' a little dance and shit, and clearly I'm just jealous, because never again will snow mean that I don't have to get up early in the morning. Working for a living ruins everything. I used to love the snow. Now I hate it. Also, I miss sleeping. I can't go to bed early--I just can't--and I can't sleep late, because I even work on the weekends. Bah.
I also hate snow days, because my mom always calls me at work in the middle of the day to tell me what she's making for dinner, like, that's nice, Ma. Really, I'm just bitter and jealous some more, and she's making chili and corn bread, which is, like, my favorite. I have a million favorites, but chili and corn bread is super good on a cold, snowy day.
Mike and Shannon just got the cutest new tiny kittens ever. They are so small. They're only, like, eight weeks old, and I'd never seen such a baby kitten in person before. Charles Wallace was twelve weeks old when I got him, because that's when the Humane Society puts kittens up for adoption, and he was a titan compared to these tiny things. The weird thing is that they've had these cats for a week, and they don't have names yet. Exactly half of the fun of getting a new pet is getting to name it. Actually, this fraction increases the less interactive the pet. Like, almost the entire reason for getting a fish is to get to name it something fun. Like, I named my first beta fish Hamlet, because I had a hermit crab named Horatio, and then when Hamlet basically committed suicide, I named his replacement Fortinbras. Did I mention I was a nerd? And that I took two semesters of Shakespeare in college? And not just because Dr. Lynch, Shakespeare professor extraordinaire, was awesome. Also, when I had a whole mess of goldfish, I named them, like, Meatwad, Pudge, Gil, Stewie, Jimmy, and Tina. For real.
How about that weekend of football upsets, huh? I was convinced that the Patriots would be playing the Colts next weekend, but it is not to be! Suck it, Peyton! Even though I hate the Cowboys (I guess I lied when I said I don't really hate any of the other NFL teams), I was convinced they would make Eli cry; I can't believe he didn't blow it. Oh, sadly, the Seahawks could not upset the Packers, and obviously, no one is going to beat the Patriots. All y'all who hate on the Pats just because they're good can suck it, okay? Do you know how long they sucked? Basically since they were the Boston Patriots until 2001. So let New England have their fun! This is going to be just like 2004, with the World Series and the Super Bowl going to New England, but it's going to be even bettah, because the Pats will be undefeated. Suck on that, Miami Dolphins of '72.
Okay, so maybe Tom Brady is kind of a dick. Whatever, at least he's not as goddamn ubiquitous as Peyton Manning. And, god, did you see the roughing-up of my main man Wes Welker during the Jacksonville game? There were all kinds of bullshit penalties on the Patriots during that game (at home!), and Welker had a goose egg on his head from face-masking and other kinds of unnecessary roughness, and no one did anything. Bitches. Also, that controversial first quarter touchdown pass after David Garrard was already down set the Bostonians I was watching the game with into fits. Fits! I was like, "Yeah, Belichick should have challenged that, but what're you gonna do?" It's not like they were gonna lose.
You know, I forgot I loved watching football, because I was working all the time last year, and I was never even home for a game. Good thing I scaled back this year. Baseball is much more accessible, because it's on all the time. I think it's time for black-market organ-selling so I can go to more than two Red Sox games this year. Also, I think I should make Sarah take me to a Nationals game, so I can slowly move closer to my goal of seeing a game in all the MLB stadiums. And then Allison will have to take me to see the Blue Jays. She will. And then I'll take her to see Brandi Carlile, and we'll be even. Then my dad will take me to Yankee Stadium, and I will root for whoever they're playing, but I will not wear any Red Sox paraphernalia, because I'm not that much an idiot. And then I'll have to go to Shea--or did they destroy that already? Is Pedro Martinez still on the Mets? I'm so out of touch with the National League. I guess a game in Philadelphia and a game in Pittsburgh could also be doable. Then I'll have to look into some serious traveling. I really wanna go to Wrigley Field, and I also want to see the Brewers play just because they're the beer team, and I like their uniforms. National League! The California teams don't appeal to me, but I'll have to go sometime. My dad went to wherever the Giants play, and he said it was all swanky and huge and stuff, and eh. That is not what I look for in a baseball stadium. Everything is going to fall short of Fenway, obviously, but, you know, Camden Yards was pretty nice. I also really wanna go to Seattle, and a Mariners game sounds like as good an excuse as any. (Also an acceptable excuse to fly across the country: Brandi Carlile concert. Shocking, I know.) But all this will have to wait until I'm rich. Sigh.
Oh! This is the last year for Yankee Stadium and Shea! I think a baseball pilgrimage to NYC is in order. So New York City, D.C., Toronto, Philadelphia, and Pittsburgh. That would bring my grand total of baseball stadiums (stadia!) up to eight. Woot. My aunt lives near San Francisco (ish), but I think I might have a hard time getting her to take me to a Giants game. Well, I could always go by myself. I'm a creepy loner like that. I could potentially swing a trip to Maryland on Memorial Day weekend again this year, provided that Sarah feels like hosting me, and the Nats are playing at home that whole weekend, and tickets on StubHub are starting at $14. $14! Jesus god, it is painful to be a Red Sox fan sometimes. I would imagine that means we could probably just buy tickets from the Nats themselves like we did for the Orioles. That is such a novelty to me. And! They're playing the Brewers that weekend. I just love the idea of the Brewers, even though I know absolutely nothing about them. If I wanted to see the Nationals in Houston (though...why? Well, I have to see a game in Houston eventually. It would just be more fun (and infinitely more expensive) if I were to go see the Red Sox), tickets start at $6! $6! Do you even get a seat for six dollars? Standing room at Sox games definitely costs more than six bucks. (Do other stadiums even have standing room tickets?) That is madness. To see the Red Sox in Houston would cost at least $87 right now (for those seats that are going for six dollars when the Nationals will be there, plus airfare and accommodations and ballpark beer). Stupid Red Sox. Astros-Yankees tickets are more expensive, though, as I thought they would be--haha! To see the Red Sox at Fenway on my birthday would cost at least $73 (for a bleacher seat--blech). Stupid Red Sox. I wouldn't change a thing about them, though.
Tickets to see the Nationals at Shea Stadium start at $5! Five. Dollars. I had no idea. This touring the baseball stadiums of the country thing is sounding somewhat more affordable. It would be even more affordable if I made it a road trip, but I can't take all that time off of work. Stupid work. Ruins everything. What would make it the most affordable, though, is if I went with my dad. He said he wanted to see a game in every stadium in the country too, without my bringing it up, even. So I'm hoping we'll go to Yankee Stadium this summer, even though he's already been there. I don't think he's been to Shea Stadium, so hopefully we can knock that one off too.
Look at me, getting all worked up about baseball in January. Whatever, I love it. I need a new Red Sox hat. Mine is all sun-bleached and stained with something unidentifiable, and it's just ugly.
January 11, 2008
I don't drink hot liquids of any kind. That's the devil's temperature.
I finally watched an episode of Grey's when it aired, and I love Callie again! Mostly because she looked really pretty last night! And for the way she yelled at George. For some reason, though, on my tv, everyone looked like they had jaundice, but my stupid brother, home from college for a whole fucking month, has been hogging the HD tv since he got here. He fucked up my recording of Cashmere Mafia too, because of course the HD tv is the only one with the DVR. And there was more girlkissing! He sucks.
Anyway, they already did this Bailey's baby in peril storyline, and I do not like that Bailey has to have problems at home just because she's the awesomest surgeon who ever awesomed. No one on this show can have a relationship except for Meredith and Cristina. Theirs is the only one that works, and it is also the best one on the show. Meredith is whiny, but I seem to like her more than most people, but I will always and forever love Cristina. I also love how everyone in the hospital (that we know) loves Bailey so much that they're all freaking out about her baby. I love that Cristina loves Bailey so much that she finally became human and took care of Tuck when Hahn wouldn't let her in the OR. It was the perfect--and only--time for Cristina to act like Izzie.
I hate the way Derek treats Meredith, but I love his friendship with Bailey. Mostly, I just love Bailey.
I go back and forth on Hahn; I kind of love her friendship with Callie, but I do not love that she told Mark, "Yeah, I'd fuck you if we didn't work together." No. Don't give him anything, woman. Sheesh. Also, do not cross Miranda Bailey. The end. Goodnight.
So how awesome was 30 Rock last night? Tina Fey drunkenly singing "You Oughta Know" might be the highlight of the history of television. And then the group sing of "Midnight Train to Georgia," which was even perfecter because Gladys Knight showed up at the end to tell them to shut the hell up so she could take a nap. Tina Fey is the most brilliant woman ever.
Okay, so I know I pretty much had a geek orgasm all over Special Topics in Calamity Physics yesterday, but later that day I was devouring it, and Marisha Pessl used impact as a verb when she really meant affect--or have an impact on. Impact as a verb has a very specific meaning; it is not a synonym for affect, and I have made it my crusade as proofreader to eliminate this word in everything I read for work. So in order to continue to read this novel with so much promise, I crossed out "impact"with a pencil and wrote "affect" and continued on with my life.
Here is what the OED (which I can still access online with my PC ID!) gives as the number one definition for impact as a verb: "To press closely into or in something; to fix firmly in; to pack in." A third definition is, "To come forcibly into contact with a (larger) body or surface." That's all you get, okay? When you want to say something had an impact on something else, say that. Or use affect. Next!
Okay, so once again I have proven I have no principles, because I broke down and watched Cashmere Mafia online. Sorry, writers. I need some lesbian entertainment. I still won't buy DVDs though. I swear. Anyway. Miranda Otto and Lucy Liu are much better with deadly weapons in their paws. I need to watch Kill Bill and that one when Eowyn kills that thing that no man can kill, because she ain't no man, bitches! (Two Towers, right? I really wish she hadn't stupidly pined after Aragorn, but you never get truly perfect female heroes in stories written by men. At least she's badasseder than Arwen. Can we talk about how much I hate Liv Tyler? And how much I clearly need to read the books again? But that would be an undertaking and a half. It took me, the book nerd, three years to get through the trilogy, and most of that time was spent on The Fellowship of the Ring. This parenthetical is now longer than the rest of the paragraph.) Caitlin remains the best character (and not just because she's the maybe gay one)--she's also the only one who's ever funny. The girlkissing on the this show is really tame, and Caitlin gets a rather disproportionate amount of screen time. Sigh. Allison thinks the lesbian (Alicia, I think her name is) looks like Charisma Carpenter. I still don't see it, except for the hair. Maybe. Anyway, Caitlin needs an episode to focus on her. Also, Lucy Liu's old boss, Grant, was, like, the worst gay executive ever. Bah. I do like how tight all four of them are, though; those were always my favorite parts of Sex and the City, when all four them were together.
So apparently, Emily was the eighth most popular baby name for girls in 2007, and while it is true that Emily is a ridiculously popular name, at least it is not a fad name. There are a million women named Emily in every generation. Yell "Emily!" in Bath & Body Works, and you will get the attention of your five-year-old, me, and somebody's grandmother. That happens all the time, too: someone yells my name at work, and they're only talking to me half the time. The other times, it's some exasperated caregiver trying to wrangle an unruly child. (For the record, I was the least unruly child ever, but now I'm a huge pain in the ass, so I respond to the yelling.)
Anyone who can get me an mp3 of the cast of 30 Rock's "Midnight Train to Georgia" will win my everlasting love and devotion. Um, sorry that's all I have to offer.
Anyway, they already did this Bailey's baby in peril storyline, and I do not like that Bailey has to have problems at home just because she's the awesomest surgeon who ever awesomed. No one on this show can have a relationship except for Meredith and Cristina. Theirs is the only one that works, and it is also the best one on the show. Meredith is whiny, but I seem to like her more than most people, but I will always and forever love Cristina. I also love how everyone in the hospital (that we know) loves Bailey so much that they're all freaking out about her baby. I love that Cristina loves Bailey so much that she finally became human and took care of Tuck when Hahn wouldn't let her in the OR. It was the perfect--and only--time for Cristina to act like Izzie.
I hate the way Derek treats Meredith, but I love his friendship with Bailey. Mostly, I just love Bailey.
I go back and forth on Hahn; I kind of love her friendship with Callie, but I do not love that she told Mark, "Yeah, I'd fuck you if we didn't work together." No. Don't give him anything, woman. Sheesh. Also, do not cross Miranda Bailey. The end. Goodnight.
So how awesome was 30 Rock last night? Tina Fey drunkenly singing "You Oughta Know" might be the highlight of the history of television. And then the group sing of "Midnight Train to Georgia," which was even perfecter because Gladys Knight showed up at the end to tell them to shut the hell up so she could take a nap. Tina Fey is the most brilliant woman ever.
Okay, so I know I pretty much had a geek orgasm all over Special Topics in Calamity Physics yesterday, but later that day I was devouring it, and Marisha Pessl used impact as a verb when she really meant affect--or have an impact on. Impact as a verb has a very specific meaning; it is not a synonym for affect, and I have made it my crusade as proofreader to eliminate this word in everything I read for work. So in order to continue to read this novel with so much promise, I crossed out "impact"with a pencil and wrote "affect" and continued on with my life.
Here is what the OED (which I can still access online with my PC ID!) gives as the number one definition for impact as a verb: "To press closely into or in something; to fix firmly in; to pack in." A third definition is, "To come forcibly into contact with a (larger) body or surface." That's all you get, okay? When you want to say something had an impact on something else, say that. Or use affect. Next!
Okay, so once again I have proven I have no principles, because I broke down and watched Cashmere Mafia online. Sorry, writers. I need some lesbian entertainment. I still won't buy DVDs though. I swear. Anyway. Miranda Otto and Lucy Liu are much better with deadly weapons in their paws. I need to watch Kill Bill and that one when Eowyn kills that thing that no man can kill, because she ain't no man, bitches! (Two Towers, right? I really wish she hadn't stupidly pined after Aragorn, but you never get truly perfect female heroes in stories written by men. At least she's badasseder than Arwen. Can we talk about how much I hate Liv Tyler? And how much I clearly need to read the books again? But that would be an undertaking and a half. It took me, the book nerd, three years to get through the trilogy, and most of that time was spent on The Fellowship of the Ring. This parenthetical is now longer than the rest of the paragraph.) Caitlin remains the best character (and not just because she's the maybe gay one)--she's also the only one who's ever funny. The girlkissing on the this show is really tame, and Caitlin gets a rather disproportionate amount of screen time. Sigh. Allison thinks the lesbian (Alicia, I think her name is) looks like Charisma Carpenter. I still don't see it, except for the hair. Maybe. Anyway, Caitlin needs an episode to focus on her. Also, Lucy Liu's old boss, Grant, was, like, the worst gay executive ever. Bah. I do like how tight all four of them are, though; those were always my favorite parts of Sex and the City, when all four them were together.
So apparently, Emily was the eighth most popular baby name for girls in 2007, and while it is true that Emily is a ridiculously popular name, at least it is not a fad name. There are a million women named Emily in every generation. Yell "Emily!" in Bath & Body Works, and you will get the attention of your five-year-old, me, and somebody's grandmother. That happens all the time, too: someone yells my name at work, and they're only talking to me half the time. The other times, it's some exasperated caregiver trying to wrangle an unruly child. (For the record, I was the least unruly child ever, but now I'm a huge pain in the ass, so I respond to the yelling.)
Anyone who can get me an mp3 of the cast of 30 Rock's "Midnight Train to Georgia" will win my everlasting love and devotion. Um, sorry that's all I have to offer.
January 10, 2008
A vision of the everchanging view
So I watched Project Runway when it aired last night because, thanks to Kaeli, we got out of work early, but I wasn't really paying attention. Maybe because I hate prom dresses. And girls in high school. And Christian. Of course he thinks prom is tacky and awful. (It is, but whatever.)
Of course Kevin had that floppy surfer boy haircut when he was in high school.
Of course Sweet P went to Catholic school.
Of course Chris is a drag queen. Of course! Even though I kind of hate drag queens, it all makes sense for him. And those costumes were quite something to behold.
Of course they kept shit-stirrer Christian over actually-talented Kevin. Have you seen this show (or any reality competition program) before? Do you remember when Santino's outfit for Kara was falling apart on then runway, but they still sent Uncle Nick home? Not that I really care about Kevin, and Christian seems somewhat more self-aware than I gave him credit for, but that dress was a mess. Well, so was Kevin's.
Where the hell was Kit Pistol? I don't like how she's fading into the middle of the pack. What even did her dress look like? Her prom picture frightened me, because she looked so normal, and she was a "prom princess," whatever that is. Is that like runner up to prom queen? I don't know if we even did a prom queen/king thing at my high school. That reminds me! I have a story to tell about Carrie. But that'll be later. I did enjoy how she said she'd be prom king, and Chris could be prom queen. She's the greatest.
I loved how Christian was like, "I was best dressed at my prom," and Chris was like, "According to you? Or did you actually vote on it?" (I think it was Chris. Whoever it was, hooray for you! That was hilarious.)
Jillian said something funny (but I can't remember what it was), and I was like, "Finally!" Maybe now I can like her for real. Even though I don't remember what she said. Maybe next week she'll finally be awesome. She's getting close.
The one thing that made me crazy was that Tim Gunn had to be all, "Don't give up, Christian, come on." Like you would expect anything other from the master teacher, but seriously, Christian, you're a grown man (even if you don't look like one). Don't act like such a baby. And don't blame your issues on that child you were working with. If your dress is fug, it's your own fault. However, I'll cut you a little bit of slack, because being on reality television cannot be easy, and it's the people who don't have meltdowns of some kind who frighten me.
Okay, so anyway, I was out with some Bath & Body Works people the other night, and I made some reference to Carrie, and both of them were like, "Whuh?" And I was like, "You know, Carrie, the movie?" And one of them was like, "Is that the one with the pig's blood?" And I was like, "Yeah." Come on! How can you not know Carrie? I hate horror films and Stephen King, but Carrie is amazing. Even if you haven't seen it, you should just, like, know it, because it is an important pop culture film.
Wait! Maybe not everyone on earth is a pop culture nerd? Just me and my nerdy friends? I refuse to believe it.
So I got to see Katy and Jess last Friday, which was awesome, because I hadn't seen either of them in a year, and they were two of my best friends in high school, and it was good just to hang out with them again. Anyway, Jess recommended a book to me, and I was like, "Oh yeah! I forgot I have a friend who reads for fun!" (That is sad, how out of touch I've fallen with these people, but whatever. I'm working on it.) Also, Jess and I were never reading the same books at the same time, so we never really had a discussion about them, except that one New Year's Eve at Josh's house where we had a brilliant, slightly drunken conversation about Like Water for Chocolate. So, anyway, I got so excited that I ran out to Borders last night in between jobs and bought it: Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl. I've only read the first chapter, and I already love it. The book is set up like an intro to lit syllabus; the table of contents is titled "Required Reading," and each chapter is a work of literature. There are thirty-two chapters, and I have only read ten of the works (two of them are Shakespeare plays). That made me immeasurably sad, because they're all English-major type works. Of course one of them is one of the myriad Charles Dickens books I haven't read. Which ones have I read, you ask? A Christmas Carol, Great Expectations, Hard Times, A Tale of Two Cities, and Our Mutual Friend. I have a theory about why I hate Charles Dickens other than the overriding "I hate everything written in the 19th century except things that were written by Louisa May Alcott and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and maybe The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," but that is another story and shall be told another time. At least I won't have a shortage of books to read. Ever.
Of course Kevin had that floppy surfer boy haircut when he was in high school.
Of course Sweet P went to Catholic school.
Of course Chris is a drag queen. Of course! Even though I kind of hate drag queens, it all makes sense for him. And those costumes were quite something to behold.
Of course they kept shit-stirrer Christian over actually-talented Kevin. Have you seen this show (or any reality competition program) before? Do you remember when Santino's outfit for Kara was falling apart on then runway, but they still sent Uncle Nick home? Not that I really care about Kevin, and Christian seems somewhat more self-aware than I gave him credit for, but that dress was a mess. Well, so was Kevin's.
Where the hell was Kit Pistol? I don't like how she's fading into the middle of the pack. What even did her dress look like? Her prom picture frightened me, because she looked so normal, and she was a "prom princess," whatever that is. Is that like runner up to prom queen? I don't know if we even did a prom queen/king thing at my high school. That reminds me! I have a story to tell about Carrie. But that'll be later. I did enjoy how she said she'd be prom king, and Chris could be prom queen. She's the greatest.
I loved how Christian was like, "I was best dressed at my prom," and Chris was like, "According to you? Or did you actually vote on it?" (I think it was Chris. Whoever it was, hooray for you! That was hilarious.)
Jillian said something funny (but I can't remember what it was), and I was like, "Finally!" Maybe now I can like her for real. Even though I don't remember what she said. Maybe next week she'll finally be awesome. She's getting close.
The one thing that made me crazy was that Tim Gunn had to be all, "Don't give up, Christian, come on." Like you would expect anything other from the master teacher, but seriously, Christian, you're a grown man (even if you don't look like one). Don't act like such a baby. And don't blame your issues on that child you were working with. If your dress is fug, it's your own fault. However, I'll cut you a little bit of slack, because being on reality television cannot be easy, and it's the people who don't have meltdowns of some kind who frighten me.
Okay, so anyway, I was out with some Bath & Body Works people the other night, and I made some reference to Carrie, and both of them were like, "Whuh?" And I was like, "You know, Carrie, the movie?" And one of them was like, "Is that the one with the pig's blood?" And I was like, "Yeah." Come on! How can you not know Carrie? I hate horror films and Stephen King, but Carrie is amazing. Even if you haven't seen it, you should just, like, know it, because it is an important pop culture film.
Wait! Maybe not everyone on earth is a pop culture nerd? Just me and my nerdy friends? I refuse to believe it.
So I got to see Katy and Jess last Friday, which was awesome, because I hadn't seen either of them in a year, and they were two of my best friends in high school, and it was good just to hang out with them again. Anyway, Jess recommended a book to me, and I was like, "Oh yeah! I forgot I have a friend who reads for fun!" (That is sad, how out of touch I've fallen with these people, but whatever. I'm working on it.) Also, Jess and I were never reading the same books at the same time, so we never really had a discussion about them, except that one New Year's Eve at Josh's house where we had a brilliant, slightly drunken conversation about Like Water for Chocolate. So, anyway, I got so excited that I ran out to Borders last night in between jobs and bought it: Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl. I've only read the first chapter, and I already love it. The book is set up like an intro to lit syllabus; the table of contents is titled "Required Reading," and each chapter is a work of literature. There are thirty-two chapters, and I have only read ten of the works (two of them are Shakespeare plays). That made me immeasurably sad, because they're all English-major type works. Of course one of them is one of the myriad Charles Dickens books I haven't read. Which ones have I read, you ask? A Christmas Carol, Great Expectations, Hard Times, A Tale of Two Cities, and Our Mutual Friend. I have a theory about why I hate Charles Dickens other than the overriding "I hate everything written in the 19th century except things that were written by Louisa May Alcott and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and maybe The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," but that is another story and shall be told another time. At least I won't have a shortage of books to read. Ever.
Crazy merchandising
Oh my god! I forgot the best thing about my fly-by-night trip to Borders: Golden Compass Pez! I bought Iorek, because he is the best. They also had Iofur (whose name in the movie I still do not know), Pan, and Mrs. Coulter's daemon (who does not have a name--he's a creepy little bastard). Check it:
So, um, since nobody else seems to have bought any of this Golden Compass merchandise, I am getting more and more sure that no one will want to spend the money to make The Subtle Knife. I am sad. I am also sad that I still have no one to talk about how they ruined the book with. (That is a horrible sentence, but I don't feel like fixing it. Blerg.)
But Iorek Byrnison Pez! I love Pez! I used to have a Pez t-shirt! And then it developed holes in the armpits, and I had to discard it. Sad day that was.
So, um, since nobody else seems to have bought any of this Golden Compass merchandise, I am getting more and more sure that no one will want to spend the money to make The Subtle Knife. I am sad. I am also sad that I still have no one to talk about how they ruined the book with. (That is a horrible sentence, but I don't feel like fixing it. Blerg.)
But Iorek Byrnison Pez! I love Pez! I used to have a Pez t-shirt! And then it developed holes in the armpits, and I had to discard it. Sad day that was.
January 9, 2008
Jumble, jumble all at my house
Hillary Clinton is not perfect, but I voted for her, because I am desperate for this country to have a female president--and I firmly believe that if anyone can handle being this fucked-up country's first female president, Hillary Rodham Clinton can. I would not vote for just any lady--I'm not insane. As an added bonus, my grandparents (all four of them) hate her! Bwa! I would not be too disappointed, though, if Barack were to ultimately win the nomination, because this country needs a first black president, too. At this point in this disaster, any Democrat will do, but Hillary and Barack are both lookin' good to me. Time to put power in the hands of someone other than a rich white dude.
Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee both terrify me, so I guess I would have to actually say that John McCain is the least odious Republican candidate. And then I will have to take a shower. Blech. But I feel confident, with the way New Hampshire has been going these days, that it'll never be a red state again. Or at least not this November. That was mortifying, when we were the one island of red in a sea of blue in 2000. I was too young to vote, and I felt impotent. It sucked.
I won't even get into how angry I was to see the fact that Hillary got choked up for a brief second while talking to voters made headlines. Seriously.
The Red Sox are playing the Orioles on my birthday, which is a Thursday this year, at 1:35 pm, at home. Bleacher seats are already $73 on StubHub. This is the one downside to winning the World Series, I suppose. But that's the only thing I want for my birthday this year, tickets to that game. And the day off, obviously, but that'll be much easier to secure than Red Sox tickets.
I have listened to "Downpour" at least 306 times--more, obviously, because one, I haven't synced my iPod with iTunes lately, and two, that doesn't even count how many times I've listened to the actual CD of The Story. The count is also so high because I have seven different versions of "Downpour." The one from Easy Street Records is my fave. Why, yes, I'm listening to "Downpour" right now. How ever did you guess?
What? I haven't talked about my crazy obsession with Brandi Carlile for a while.
Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee both terrify me, so I guess I would have to actually say that John McCain is the least odious Republican candidate. And then I will have to take a shower. Blech. But I feel confident, with the way New Hampshire has been going these days, that it'll never be a red state again. Or at least not this November. That was mortifying, when we were the one island of red in a sea of blue in 2000. I was too young to vote, and I felt impotent. It sucked.
I won't even get into how angry I was to see the fact that Hillary got choked up for a brief second while talking to voters made headlines. Seriously.
The Red Sox are playing the Orioles on my birthday, which is a Thursday this year, at 1:35 pm, at home. Bleacher seats are already $73 on StubHub. This is the one downside to winning the World Series, I suppose. But that's the only thing I want for my birthday this year, tickets to that game. And the day off, obviously, but that'll be much easier to secure than Red Sox tickets.
I have listened to "Downpour" at least 306 times--more, obviously, because one, I haven't synced my iPod with iTunes lately, and two, that doesn't even count how many times I've listened to the actual CD of The Story. The count is also so high because I have seven different versions of "Downpour." The one from Easy Street Records is my fave. Why, yes, I'm listening to "Downpour" right now. How ever did you guess?
What? I haven't talked about my crazy obsession with Brandi Carlile for a while.
January 8, 2008
A little TMI, maybe
I would just like to make this clear, for my own peace of mind: I don't fall in love with girls who wear glasses because I myself wear glasses and happen to have a narcissist complex (even though both of those things may be true). I wear glasses, because contacts freak me the fuck out, and if I don't wear glasses, I look...how shall we say this? Simple. I fall in love with other girls who wear glasses because Tina Fey put a spell on my soul. There. I totally needed to get that off my chest. Also, glasses don't work for blondes. The end!
While we're talking about me, let me go on to say that I have a horrible habit of biting my fingernails. I hate it when they get long, and I don't have the patience to, like, cut them, so I just bite them. Anyway, the nail of the middle finger on my left hand was gettin' long, so I chomped it this morning, and there was, like, some fiery Tobasco sauce remnant of death lodged underneath it or something, because as soon as I chomped, I couldn't feel my tongue. However, that did not stop me from continuing the chomping until the nail was the right length. Gross, huh?
Whenever I'm alone, I sing Tim's part of the "Turpentine" harmonies. Loudly. I may or may not have scared the cat. More than once.
Now that I've been thinking about it for, like, a whole day, I kind of want to marry who- or whatever wrote that spam and thought "festive" would be a seduce-y type of adjective. I wanted to say something like "Brandi Carlile is so fucking festive, I can't stand it," but I laughed (out loud, at work) before I could even type it, so I had to present it that way, in quotes, so I could even get it out of my system.
Um, not too many thoughts today. I am all out of lesbian television observations, and I haven't talked to Allison since Sunday night. Brandi Carlile hasn't done anything new. I don't want to get all political, because I end up getting all worked up and bitter, but I will say this: vote this month, bitches! Just don't vote for Mike Huckabee. He skeeves me right out of this world.
Speaking of right out of this world, the first time I read that information about Mars and Jupiter and whatever also getting warmer, my first thought was not, "Huh. That's weird," but rather, "Oh my god. We've done so much damage we've fucked up the entire solar system." Um, not so much, I know, but you can see I have a really high opinion of the human race these days.
So I finally, like, caved and bought an actual winter coat, because I apparently live in an area of the country where it, like, gets cold for four months of the year (at least), and now it's sixty degrees outside. I don't know what kind of brain meltdown I had that let me decide to buy something with "military inspired details," but my pacifist ass still likes the coat even after I recovered from the meltdown and looked at it again. Also, I hate winter coats, because they're all big and bulky and shit, and this was definitely the most wearable. It's probably not even what any self-respecting New England-er would call a winter coat, but it is warmer than the red zip-up hoodie I've been wearing.
You know, right after I wrote that thing about glasses on blondes not doing anything for me, I almost immediately found a blonde girl in glasses. She was pumping gas beside me, and I looked up, and I was like, "Dammit!"
Um, I guess I had more thoughts than I, um, thought.
While we're talking about me, let me go on to say that I have a horrible habit of biting my fingernails. I hate it when they get long, and I don't have the patience to, like, cut them, so I just bite them. Anyway, the nail of the middle finger on my left hand was gettin' long, so I chomped it this morning, and there was, like, some fiery Tobasco sauce remnant of death lodged underneath it or something, because as soon as I chomped, I couldn't feel my tongue. However, that did not stop me from continuing the chomping until the nail was the right length. Gross, huh?
Whenever I'm alone, I sing Tim's part of the "Turpentine" harmonies. Loudly. I may or may not have scared the cat. More than once.
Now that I've been thinking about it for, like, a whole day, I kind of want to marry who- or whatever wrote that spam and thought "festive" would be a seduce-y type of adjective. I wanted to say something like "Brandi Carlile is so fucking festive, I can't stand it," but I laughed (out loud, at work) before I could even type it, so I had to present it that way, in quotes, so I could even get it out of my system.
Um, not too many thoughts today. I am all out of lesbian television observations, and I haven't talked to Allison since Sunday night. Brandi Carlile hasn't done anything new. I don't want to get all political, because I end up getting all worked up and bitter, but I will say this: vote this month, bitches! Just don't vote for Mike Huckabee. He skeeves me right out of this world.
Speaking of right out of this world, the first time I read that information about Mars and Jupiter and whatever also getting warmer, my first thought was not, "Huh. That's weird," but rather, "Oh my god. We've done so much damage we've fucked up the entire solar system." Um, not so much, I know, but you can see I have a really high opinion of the human race these days.
So I finally, like, caved and bought an actual winter coat, because I apparently live in an area of the country where it, like, gets cold for four months of the year (at least), and now it's sixty degrees outside. I don't know what kind of brain meltdown I had that let me decide to buy something with "military inspired details," but my pacifist ass still likes the coat even after I recovered from the meltdown and looked at it again. Also, I hate winter coats, because they're all big and bulky and shit, and this was definitely the most wearable. It's probably not even what any self-respecting New England-er would call a winter coat, but it is warmer than the red zip-up hoodie I've been wearing.
You know, right after I wrote that thing about glasses on blondes not doing anything for me, I almost immediately found a blonde girl in glasses. She was pumping gas beside me, and I looked up, and I was like, "Dammit!"
Um, I guess I had more thoughts than I, um, thought.
January 7, 2008
Girls 'n sports--have I mentioned that I'm gay?
So I watched the premiere of Cashmere Mafia last night after all the football and another viewing of The Simpsons Movie, because, hello, lesbians! Despite the fact that it looked like a less amusing Sex and the City, and even my brother was like, "Yeah, like this has never been done before" I continued to watch, because I knew for a fact there would be girlkissing in the premiere. And Caitlin, the character who is figuring out she may be gay, is definitely the best character--and Alicia, the girl she falls for, is beautiful. So two very enthusiastic thumbs up for that.
Okay, it took me five years, because I was watching this show going, "That redhead looks...familiar..." And then Allison was like, "I liked Miranda Otto," and I was like, "Which one was she?" And she was like, "The one whose husband was cheating on her." And I was like, "Ohhh." And then five years later I was like, "Miranda...Otto... Fucking shit, Eowyn!" Eowyn should not be being female cuckolded, bitches. She should be chopping off bastards' heads. Or balls. Because the thing is, when the other three decided to sit her down and tell her that one of them had seen her husband making out with some ho on the street, I was like, "Yeah, she already knows." And I was not okay with that. That's not the kind of behavior I will ever support, tolerating your man's infidelity because you're too afraid to be without him. Especially because these women are all rich MBAs. Come on. Juliet (I just remembered her character's name) is perfectly capable of existing without a cheating husband. I will also never support revenge sex, because that's just gross. Caitlin was right when she said, disgusted, "How can you stay with him?" even though she backtracked immediately, because she didn't want to make her friend feel worse. Juliet's speech to her husband, though, at that fancy dinner, had the beginnings of awesomeness, because it made him panic, but when he said, "What can I do? Tell me what to do" or whatever, she should have said, "Pack a fucking bag. You have twenty-four hours to get out of my house." Then it would have been awesome, because that is what he deserves. And I hope that, instead of going through with her revenge sex plan, she, with the support of her three best friends, finds the courage to leave this scumbag. Eowyn would never put up with that kind of behavior, god dammit.
Anyway, it's not really the same as Sex and the City, but the music sounded exactly the goddamn same. And ever since Tom Everett Scott was the good guy in That Thing You Do!, he's been gross in everything else I've seen him in. So, anyway, I think I'll watch it. Mostly for the lesbians. Like always.
Speaking of lesbians, I read the afterellen.com recaps of season 4 of The L-Word (which are brilliant, by the way), and it sounds like it was indeed markedly better than the second and third seasons, and season 5 premiered last night and all, and Jennifer Beals and Laurel Holloman are really pretty, so maybe I can give this show another chance? I just really hate Jenny. A lot. And I'm still bitter about the death of Dana. Like maybe if anyone had spent more than five seconds dealing with it, it would have been okay, but it's like she was never there in the first place. Like she got erased, and no one gives her a second thought. That's not okay. Because Dana was me, y'all. In the very beginning of the first season, when she's all, "I have a thing for this girl, but I can't tell if she's gay, and I can't talk to her" and blahblahblah. That is my life! What is not my life, though, is the fact that the girl was gay and totally into Dana. Sigh.
Speaking of football, Eli Manning never looks like he knows what he's doing, and I don't even remember what happened in the Chargers/Titans game except that the Chargers won, so we play Jacksonville on Saturday. The best game was the Steelers/Jaguars game. That game killed me. What killed me even more, though, was the Buccaneers' stadium, which featured a pirate ship with air cannons that were set off when the Bucs scored--or even got close to scoring. This is the reason that I was upset that they lost--not enough pirate ship air cannon shooting. I clearly must watch more football--except how often would I even get to see a Bucs home game, living in New England? Maybe I should just go to Tampa. I think they even had seats in the pirate ship. That may be even cooler than sitting on the Green Monster.
Despite the fact that I have seen neither of the Terminator movies--Ryan tried to force me to watch T2, but I, like, fell asleep or something--I am contemplating watching The Sarah Connor Chronicles, because Lena Headey is so hot. Right after I saw Imagine Me & You, I was consumed with one of my brief hot 'n heavy girlcrushes. I even watched The Cave, so into her was I. (That movie also featured Piper Perabo! But was exponentially worse than their lesbian movie. I also only like Piper Perabo when she's into girls.) But then that kind of dwindled away (this may or not have coincided with the growing of my crazy Brandi Carlile crush), so that I didn't even see 300 when it finally came out. Is that movie even worth seeing? My brothers love it, which is always a warning sign. The only movies we all seem to agree on are the Judd Apatow films. And I only really liked Superbad, but the others are certainly watchable.
In summary and conclusion: Sarah Connor Chronicles--yea or nay? 300--yea or nay? Lena Headey--as hot as I think she is?
Okay, it took me five years, because I was watching this show going, "That redhead looks...familiar..." And then Allison was like, "I liked Miranda Otto," and I was like, "Which one was she?" And she was like, "The one whose husband was cheating on her." And I was like, "Ohhh." And then five years later I was like, "Miranda...Otto... Fucking shit, Eowyn!" Eowyn should not be being female cuckolded, bitches. She should be chopping off bastards' heads. Or balls. Because the thing is, when the other three decided to sit her down and tell her that one of them had seen her husband making out with some ho on the street, I was like, "Yeah, she already knows." And I was not okay with that. That's not the kind of behavior I will ever support, tolerating your man's infidelity because you're too afraid to be without him. Especially because these women are all rich MBAs. Come on. Juliet (I just remembered her character's name) is perfectly capable of existing without a cheating husband. I will also never support revenge sex, because that's just gross. Caitlin was right when she said, disgusted, "How can you stay with him?" even though she backtracked immediately, because she didn't want to make her friend feel worse. Juliet's speech to her husband, though, at that fancy dinner, had the beginnings of awesomeness, because it made him panic, but when he said, "What can I do? Tell me what to do" or whatever, she should have said, "Pack a fucking bag. You have twenty-four hours to get out of my house." Then it would have been awesome, because that is what he deserves. And I hope that, instead of going through with her revenge sex plan, she, with the support of her three best friends, finds the courage to leave this scumbag. Eowyn would never put up with that kind of behavior, god dammit.
Anyway, it's not really the same as Sex and the City, but the music sounded exactly the goddamn same. And ever since Tom Everett Scott was the good guy in That Thing You Do!, he's been gross in everything else I've seen him in. So, anyway, I think I'll watch it. Mostly for the lesbians. Like always.
Speaking of lesbians, I read the afterellen.com recaps of season 4 of The L-Word (which are brilliant, by the way), and it sounds like it was indeed markedly better than the second and third seasons, and season 5 premiered last night and all, and Jennifer Beals and Laurel Holloman are really pretty, so maybe I can give this show another chance? I just really hate Jenny. A lot. And I'm still bitter about the death of Dana. Like maybe if anyone had spent more than five seconds dealing with it, it would have been okay, but it's like she was never there in the first place. Like she got erased, and no one gives her a second thought. That's not okay. Because Dana was me, y'all. In the very beginning of the first season, when she's all, "I have a thing for this girl, but I can't tell if she's gay, and I can't talk to her" and blahblahblah. That is my life! What is not my life, though, is the fact that the girl was gay and totally into Dana. Sigh.
Speaking of football, Eli Manning never looks like he knows what he's doing, and I don't even remember what happened in the Chargers/Titans game except that the Chargers won, so we play Jacksonville on Saturday. The best game was the Steelers/Jaguars game. That game killed me. What killed me even more, though, was the Buccaneers' stadium, which featured a pirate ship with air cannons that were set off when the Bucs scored--or even got close to scoring. This is the reason that I was upset that they lost--not enough pirate ship air cannon shooting. I clearly must watch more football--except how often would I even get to see a Bucs home game, living in New England? Maybe I should just go to Tampa. I think they even had seats in the pirate ship. That may be even cooler than sitting on the Green Monster.
Despite the fact that I have seen neither of the Terminator movies--Ryan tried to force me to watch T2, but I, like, fell asleep or something--I am contemplating watching The Sarah Connor Chronicles, because Lena Headey is so hot. Right after I saw Imagine Me & You, I was consumed with one of my brief hot 'n heavy girlcrushes. I even watched The Cave, so into her was I. (That movie also featured Piper Perabo! But was exponentially worse than their lesbian movie. I also only like Piper Perabo when she's into girls.) But then that kind of dwindled away (this may or not have coincided with the growing of my crazy Brandi Carlile crush), so that I didn't even see 300 when it finally came out. Is that movie even worth seeing? My brothers love it, which is always a warning sign. The only movies we all seem to agree on are the Judd Apatow films. And I only really liked Superbad, but the others are certainly watchable.
In summary and conclusion: Sarah Connor Chronicles--yea or nay? 300--yea or nay? Lena Headey--as hot as I think she is?
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