There are several vehicles in my apartment complex with this bumper sticker that says, "Nashua belongs to Jesus Christ." Actually, it's "NASHUA BELONGS TO JESUS CHRIST," so I always feel like they're yelling at me. I've seen these fucking bumper stickers before, but now I have to see them when I go home, and they're making me madder than usual. Often, I just laugh and say, "Please, like Jesus wants Nashua," but seriously. It's so obnoxious. Who gave Nashua to Jesus? How many non-Christians are there in this city? I don't know, but there are plenty! There's even a synagogue in Nashua!
Fuck, people. Keep your outdated beliefs to yourself already. Jesus is unable to take possession of an entire town. Why? Because he is dead. And he's not coming back. You know who else is supposed to come back at a time of great crisis? King Arthur. How many people really believe that's going to happen? It's exactly as likely as this Jesus fellow coming back to claim pitiful cities in southern New Hampshire as his own.
Amen.
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