So I have mono. I blame Melissa and that carton of fried rice she let me finish. I totally forgot she'd had mono earlier in the spring. And apparently mono can be contagious for up to eighteen months after your symptoms are gone! MADNESS. Also, I read this thing that suggested waiting six months until you open mouth kiss someone. That's also madness. Good thing I don't have anyone around here to open mouth kiss, I suppose.
Anyway, this mono has effectively ruined my summer. I had some fun things planned for the next few weeks, and I don't think I can really do any of them. Maybe the Pirates marathon if I'm feeling up to it. But those rickety roller coasters at Canobie Lake probably wouldn't be good for my spleen. And forget that trip to see my grandparents and my baby cousin--I can't give old people and infants mono. Good grief. Though, I would probably have to open mouth kiss them all to spread it, it's better not to take chances, I'm thinking. Maybe I can see them at Christmas. Jake will be so big by then! Oh, god, listen to me, gushing about babies. But he is the cutest, you guys. The cutest.
Probably one of the worst things about this disease is that it makes you tired all the time, right, but I can't sleep. Every time I doze off, I wake up like an hour later with my mouth all dry, because my sinuses are clogged, and I can't breathe. Plus, it's hard to fall asleep in the first place because my tonsils are so swollen it hurts to swallow, and I don't know if you know this, but you swallow all the time, even when you're trying to fall asleep. Or at least I do.
The weird thing is that my doctor kept telling me "no contact sports!" I was like, "Yeah, okay, I'm not in high school; my sports playing days are over." By "no contact sports," did she mean "no sex"? Since mono is known as the kissing disease, I would think that sex would be implicitly off the table. Don't need to spell it out for me. Even euphemistically.
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