This is a serious problem: "[Director Chris Weitz] stops short of the book’s actual ending in order to close on a more upbeat note, but the final fade-out seems abrupt and unfair; it’s unresolved, and there isn’t even a decent cliffhanger to entice you into the (hypothetical) next chapter." --from this review of The Golden Compass.
I have already been warned that the reviews are largely unkind, but I was still excited to see it. Now I feel sick. The ending of the book is the whole point of the entire god damn story. This book, anyway, where the whole point of the god damn story happens in the last two pages or so. Jesus Christ.
You know, I watched HBO's sneak peek of the film a few days ago, and I do remember thinking the director seemed like a giant putz, but they had interview clips with Philip Pullman! I was lulled into a false sense of security, thinking that the author had been somehow involved in the film-making--and thus approved of what had happened. I should know better than that, especially after the colossal disappointment of the film version of The Cider House Rules. John Irving wrote the screenplay himself, and it stank to high heaven. Okay, it didn't stink that bad, and that book was so long, it would have been impossible to make a movie that kept everything I loved about it in it. Still. Author involvement does not mean the movie's going to be good.
December 7, 2007
December 6, 2007
Try not to dress like a small town lesbian
"I ate a three musketeers bar for breakfast this morning, and this bra is held together with tape."
I love Tina Fey. In case you didn't know.
I love Tina Fey. In case you didn't know.
Don't let Phil lead you down any paths
I am obsessed with this recording of Brandi's concert in Vermont. Ever since I went to my first concert, I've been dying to get my hands on a recording of a concert I attended, and this is pretty much the best one I could have gotten. I think it probably is the best concert I've ever attended. In my life. I can't even think of what comes close. Her show with the Indigo Girls. Her show at the Avalon--which was video-recorded! That was super awesome to watch again--especially because I was drunk when I was there. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Which is why I totally only had one beer at each of the other Brandi shows I attended. Or maybe I had two at the Indigo Girls show. Whatever. That certainly did not make me drunk. I am still mad that Jody didn't request a song. I want to know what would happen if Brandi asked you if you wanted her to play something for you, and you asked for a song they hadn't been planning to play. When is that ever going to happen again? She asked you for a song! You didn't even have to drunkenly yell it out, all "Freebird!" She asked you to request a song. And you blew it. For instance, if it had been my birthday, and my annoying friend had not stopped screaming it until Brandi acknowledged us and asked if there was something she and the boys could play for me, I would have said, "Yes! Can you play 'The Clock'? Please? Pleeeeeeeease?" And then I would have gone to my old standby: "Downpour." Sigh. (PS, Brandi and boys, if you find yourself without somewhere to be on June 12, New England's lovely that time of year.)
If Brandi Carlile asked you if there was a song (of hers) she could play for you, what would you ask for?
I didn't get home from work until almost midnight, so I totally didn't watch Project Runway--I fell asleep trying to finish The Golden Compass. I need to read it again before I see the movie, and I fully intend to see the movie on Friday, with or without Michael. Oh! That is another reason I hate Christmas: Mike and I both have retail jobs, so we never effing see each other. I haven't seen him since last Friday. How bogus is that? So who wants to go see The Golden Compass tomorrow?
If Brandi Carlile asked you if there was a song (of hers) she could play for you, what would you ask for?
I didn't get home from work until almost midnight, so I totally didn't watch Project Runway--I fell asleep trying to finish The Golden Compass. I need to read it again before I see the movie, and I fully intend to see the movie on Friday, with or without Michael. Oh! That is another reason I hate Christmas: Mike and I both have retail jobs, so we never effing see each other. I haven't seen him since last Friday. How bogus is that? So who wants to go see The Golden Compass tomorrow?
December 5, 2007
I'm sciencing as fast as I can!
Brandi and the twins (and Josh and Troy) went to Mexico! What? How did we not know this? Mexicans have all the luck. (That is such a lie. I wouldn't want to live in Mexico, myself.) Come home, dammit. Your American fans need you back. Now. But Brandi says that they have plans to travel internationally next year. Bah. (I had this paragraph written in Spanish, but then I almost gave myself a brain aneurysm trying to use this Mac keyboard to make accented letters and upside down question marks, so I just translated it to English. Plus, my Spanish is rusty anyway.)
Is anyone else sick of Colbie Caillat? I can't stand this bitch.
Ten bucks says Bobby "wins" A Shot at Love.
Here is a thing that's been troubling me ever since I read it somewhere: long, long ago before they were all famous and shit, Brandi and the twins said Third Eye Blind was either one of their influences or one of their fave bands. Third Eye Blind? Haven't they been dead for ten years? And weren't they terrible in the first place? I would really expect better from those three. I really don't get why anyone would enjoy Third Eye Blind that much. My roommate freshman year, Jenna, claimed they were her favorite band. How could anyone get so worked up over Third Eye Blind to call them their favorite anything? This is also why Jess's obsession with Michelle Branch baffles me. I mean, she's fine, but she's so bland and, like, ordinary, you know? Why would you bother obsessing--one way or the other? She's not even interesting enough to inspire blind hatred. If anyone says anything like that to me about Brandi, you'd best believe I will throw a fit and list off ten reasons why she's worth freaking out over, and I imagine Jess could do that for Michelle (even if I wouldn't understand any of her reasons), but could anyone do that for Third Eye Blind?
I have to work tonight, so no Runway. Unless I stay up till one and watch it when I get home. Which I might do.
Is anyone else sick of Colbie Caillat? I can't stand this bitch.
Ten bucks says Bobby "wins" A Shot at Love.
Here is a thing that's been troubling me ever since I read it somewhere: long, long ago before they were all famous and shit, Brandi and the twins said Third Eye Blind was either one of their influences or one of their fave bands. Third Eye Blind? Haven't they been dead for ten years? And weren't they terrible in the first place? I would really expect better from those three. I really don't get why anyone would enjoy Third Eye Blind that much. My roommate freshman year, Jenna, claimed they were her favorite band. How could anyone get so worked up over Third Eye Blind to call them their favorite anything? This is also why Jess's obsession with Michelle Branch baffles me. I mean, she's fine, but she's so bland and, like, ordinary, you know? Why would you bother obsessing--one way or the other? She's not even interesting enough to inspire blind hatred. If anyone says anything like that to me about Brandi, you'd best believe I will throw a fit and list off ten reasons why she's worth freaking out over, and I imagine Jess could do that for Michelle (even if I wouldn't understand any of her reasons), but could anyone do that for Third Eye Blind?
I have to work tonight, so no Runway. Unless I stay up till one and watch it when I get home. Which I might do.
Geektastic!
I don't think I can even begin to tell you how happy it makes me the iTunes will organize albums by the year they were released, so I won't try. But seriously. It makes me so happy.
Long ago, I downloaded a beautiful program for mp3 editing so I could separate "Hiding My Heart" from "Again Today" and listen to it over and over again. Then I did it for the millions of other songs I have with secret songs at the end of them, although the only ones I can think of now are that a capella song at the end of Jagged Little Pill and the song attached to "Let Me In." Which reminds me! I should separate "Big Yellow Taxi" from "Holiday in Spain." I loved the Counting Crows' cover of "Big Yellow Taxi" until they wouldn't stop playing it on the radio. So thank god, y'all, that Brandi Carlile never gets any radio airplay anywhere in the greater Boston area, or else I might hate "The Story." BOS and the River used to play her, but I don't think they do at all anymore.
I almost forgot how much I love Margaret Cho until the other night when Carlos sent me the best text message of December 2007: "Have you come down with beaver fever?" This morning, he sent over, "I can't come when you fuck me!" which is really only funny if you've heard her say it. So I sent back "Do I have to EAT YOUR ASS to get you to mow the lawn?" How wildly inappropriate. Love it. I want to rush home and watch all her DVDs, but (maybe you heard?) I have to effing work tonight.
I have more reservations than I can tell you about this Prince Caspian film, but I just watched the trailer for it, and holy shit, it looks amazing. They clearly, clearly had their way with it to make it more exciting, but I don't know that I even care, because those four kids are the most perfect Pevensies, y'all, and Walden Media has done the best job ever of creating the world of Narnia. I am still mad that Caspian is twenty-five and swarthy, that Susan is apparently fighting in battles, and that there even is a battle in the first place, but whatever. It is sure to at least be entertaining. And if a movie ever did everything the way it was supposed to, what ever would I talk about?
Now, let's talk about this issue some more: the girls, Susan especially, participating in the fighting. On the one hand, I do enjoy that they're getting a bigger part in the story, but on the other, they don't fight, dude. Susan never fights in her life, and Lucy doesn't until she's much older, when she goes with Edmund to Archenland to defeat the invading Calormenes. But that's, like, the only positive character trait C.S. Lewis gives to Susan: she hates violence and killing--and the rotter here, y'all, is that he doesn't even spin it positively--he implies that it makes her weak and possibly even vain, when I, now, find much to be admired in the fact that she won't shoot to kill, despite her skill with a bow. Okay, everything else I want to say I have said before, so I'll just shut up now.
Long ago, I downloaded a beautiful program for mp3 editing so I could separate "Hiding My Heart" from "Again Today" and listen to it over and over again. Then I did it for the millions of other songs I have with secret songs at the end of them, although the only ones I can think of now are that a capella song at the end of Jagged Little Pill and the song attached to "Let Me In." Which reminds me! I should separate "Big Yellow Taxi" from "Holiday in Spain." I loved the Counting Crows' cover of "Big Yellow Taxi" until they wouldn't stop playing it on the radio. So thank god, y'all, that Brandi Carlile never gets any radio airplay anywhere in the greater Boston area, or else I might hate "The Story." BOS and the River used to play her, but I don't think they do at all anymore.
I almost forgot how much I love Margaret Cho until the other night when Carlos sent me the best text message of December 2007: "Have you come down with beaver fever?" This morning, he sent over, "I can't come when you fuck me!" which is really only funny if you've heard her say it. So I sent back "Do I have to EAT YOUR ASS to get you to mow the lawn?" How wildly inappropriate. Love it. I want to rush home and watch all her DVDs, but (maybe you heard?) I have to effing work tonight.
I have more reservations than I can tell you about this Prince Caspian film, but I just watched the trailer for it, and holy shit, it looks amazing. They clearly, clearly had their way with it to make it more exciting, but I don't know that I even care, because those four kids are the most perfect Pevensies, y'all, and Walden Media has done the best job ever of creating the world of Narnia. I am still mad that Caspian is twenty-five and swarthy, that Susan is apparently fighting in battles, and that there even is a battle in the first place, but whatever. It is sure to at least be entertaining. And if a movie ever did everything the way it was supposed to, what ever would I talk about?
Now, let's talk about this issue some more: the girls, Susan especially, participating in the fighting. On the one hand, I do enjoy that they're getting a bigger part in the story, but on the other, they don't fight, dude. Susan never fights in her life, and Lucy doesn't until she's much older, when she goes with Edmund to Archenland to defeat the invading Calormenes. But that's, like, the only positive character trait C.S. Lewis gives to Susan: she hates violence and killing--and the rotter here, y'all, is that he doesn't even spin it positively--he implies that it makes her weak and possibly even vain, when I, now, find much to be admired in the fact that she won't shoot to kill, despite her skill with a bow. Okay, everything else I want to say I have said before, so I'll just shut up now.
December 4, 2007
Battle of the Bands VI
L
“Let Me In”: R.E.M. vs. Save Ferris
The Decision: Okay, so this Save Ferris song is quite possibly the reason I started to love Roswell (and Katherine Heigl, the girl who made me gay), because it is playing when Isabel dreamwalks Alex for the first time and sees that he is butt-crazy in love with her—Save Ferris even actually makes an appearance in his dream! Oh, this song takes me back to the summer I turned sixteen. Love it.
Winner: Save Ferris
“Little Room”: Norah Jones vs. The White Stripes
The Decision: I don’t know; I was not enamored of Norah Jones’s new album. And this White Stripes song isn’t even a minute long. Still, it’s weird enough for me to pick it, I think.
Winner: The White Stripes
“Little Sister”: Jewel vs. Rufus Wainwright
The Decision: This is not Jewel’s best song, yo, and I love this Rufus song, especially these lyrics: “and remember that your brother is a boy.”
Winner: Rufus Wainwright
“Long Way Down”: Guster vs. Pete Yorn
The Decision: “I don’t love you, so why should I compete with other guys?” How can you top that?
Winner: Pete Yorn
M
“Magic”: Ben Folds Five vs. Ben Kweller
The Decision: Battle of the Bens! This is tough, because I love them both to pieces, but…
Winner: Ben Folds Five
“Mary Jane”: Alanis Morisette vs. The Vines
The Decision: I’m not sure why I still have this Vines CD, since I never listen to it—I do like one of the songs on there, but…it’s just so hard for me to get rid of music. Anyway, all this means it’d take a much better song to beat out something from Jagged Little Pill. Also, as a piece of trivia about me, Alanis was my very favorite singer/songwriter until I fell in love with Brandi Carlile. As a piece of trivia not about me, Brandi and Alanis have the same birthday (June 1).
Winner: Alanis Morissette
“Maybe”: Kelly Clarkson vs. Dana Glover
The Decision: This song is one of the reasons My December is my favorite album of Kelly’s—and one of the reasons I retardedly declared it the best album of 2007. And I really only bought this Dana Glover album for one song, and “Maybe” ain’t it.
Winner: Kelly Clarkson
“Milk”: Garbage vs. Kings of Leon
The Decision: Well, this is an old Garbage song, which are the best Garbage songs…but it’s not really about milk, which is a strike against it. Of course, neither is this Kings of Leon song, which means I must find a song actually about milk, dammit. Anyway, I get the chorus of this one stuck in my head all the time, and I can’t decide if that’s a point for it or against it. Oh hell. I also just found out Kings of Leon put out an album this year that I didn’t buy. I am so out of touch!
Winner: Kings of Leon
“Let Me In”: R.E.M. vs. Save Ferris
The Decision: Okay, so this Save Ferris song is quite possibly the reason I started to love Roswell (and Katherine Heigl, the girl who made me gay), because it is playing when Isabel dreamwalks Alex for the first time and sees that he is butt-crazy in love with her—Save Ferris even actually makes an appearance in his dream! Oh, this song takes me back to the summer I turned sixteen. Love it.
Winner: Save Ferris
“Little Room”: Norah Jones vs. The White Stripes
The Decision: I don’t know; I was not enamored of Norah Jones’s new album. And this White Stripes song isn’t even a minute long. Still, it’s weird enough for me to pick it, I think.
Winner: The White Stripes
“Little Sister”: Jewel vs. Rufus Wainwright
The Decision: This is not Jewel’s best song, yo, and I love this Rufus song, especially these lyrics: “and remember that your brother is a boy.”
Winner: Rufus Wainwright
“Long Way Down”: Guster vs. Pete Yorn
The Decision: “I don’t love you, so why should I compete with other guys?” How can you top that?
Winner: Pete Yorn
M
“Magic”: Ben Folds Five vs. Ben Kweller
The Decision: Battle of the Bens! This is tough, because I love them both to pieces, but…
Winner: Ben Folds Five
“Mary Jane”: Alanis Morisette vs. The Vines
The Decision: I’m not sure why I still have this Vines CD, since I never listen to it—I do like one of the songs on there, but…it’s just so hard for me to get rid of music. Anyway, all this means it’d take a much better song to beat out something from Jagged Little Pill. Also, as a piece of trivia about me, Alanis was my very favorite singer/songwriter until I fell in love with Brandi Carlile. As a piece of trivia not about me, Brandi and Alanis have the same birthday (June 1).
Winner: Alanis Morissette
“Maybe”: Kelly Clarkson vs. Dana Glover
The Decision: This song is one of the reasons My December is my favorite album of Kelly’s—and one of the reasons I retardedly declared it the best album of 2007. And I really only bought this Dana Glover album for one song, and “Maybe” ain’t it.
Winner: Kelly Clarkson
“Milk”: Garbage vs. Kings of Leon
The Decision: Well, this is an old Garbage song, which are the best Garbage songs…but it’s not really about milk, which is a strike against it. Of course, neither is this Kings of Leon song, which means I must find a song actually about milk, dammit. Anyway, I get the chorus of this one stuck in my head all the time, and I can’t decide if that’s a point for it or against it. Oh hell. I also just found out Kings of Leon put out an album this year that I didn’t buy. I am so out of touch!
Winner: Kings of Leon
December 3, 2007
Battle of the Bands V
Special snow day edition! Featuring some of the more embarrassing songs in my vast collection, plus five Brandi Carlile songs! Letters F-J!
F
“Firecracker”: Ryan Adams vs. Lisa Loeb
The Decision: Well, this is kind of unfair to Lisa, since this is my very favorite Ryan Adams song. I don’t think this man can be beaten—unless he goes up against that girl who also forces me to admit I like country music.
Winner: Ryan Adams
“Follow”: Brandi Carlile vs. Semisonic
The Decision: Oh please. This one isn’t even close—Semisonic isn’t even in the same hemisphere as this Brandi Carlile song.
Winner: Brandi Carlile
“Fool”: Blur vs. Shakira
The Decision: This is one of Shakira’s only English songs that I like. Poor Blur—they keep getting blown away. (Also, don’t judge me for the Shakira albums. I wouldn’t judge your love for Blink 182—even if I would mock it. In my head.)
Winner: Shakira
“Free”: G. Love vs. Phish vs. The Martinis
The Decision: Man, that G. Love song didn’t even rate when I listened to it. And the Martinis song is from Empire Records. But once again, I’ve been loving this Phish song since elementary school.
Winner: Phish
G
“Genius”: Kings of Leon vs. The Murmurs
The Decision: This one really isn’t tough. I think I need to get rid of these songs I ganked because they were on The L-Word.
Winner: Kings of Leon
“Ghost”: Indigo Girls vs. Phish
The Decision: Oh my god, Emily Saliers’s lyrics kill me. I’d never heard this song until I went Indigo Girls crazy in preparation for their concert in August, and thank god I did go Indigo Girls crazy, because…Christ. Not only is the emotion starkly evident in these lyrics, but she deftly uses some awesome metaphors—and even alludes to the Trojan War—and I am just in awe of her as I listen to this. Um, sorry, Trey.
Winner: Indigo Girls
“Girl”: The Beatles vs. Piney Gir
The Decision: This is another Beatles song that does nothing for me. Weird.
Winner: Piney Gir
“Glory”: Brandi Carlile vs. Liz Phair
The Decision: Phew. A rematch, much more evenly matched this time. I only recently started loving this Brandi Carlile song, but man do I love it. Oh, Liz, this song is much better than your “Closer to You,” but it’s not enough.
Winner: Brandi Carlile
“Gone”: Brandi Carlile vs. Kelly Clarkson vs. Ben Folds
The Decision: This is the one I’ve been waiting for: Brandi vs. Kelly. I’m only sorry that Ben had to participate in this—I even love his song, but not enough to put him head to head with Brandi or Kelly. So with the boy out of the way, who’s going to take this one? This is one of the only songs Brandi wrote with both of the twins, and it’s so good. Better than “Losing Heart,” which is the only other one I can think of. But I don’t know. This Kelly song gets me—it’s really good to holler along with in the car. Shit! It’s a tie, motherfuckers. I can’t pick just one. Help me. Although, from what I know of the readers of this blog, if they were to vote, it’d be Brandi. So maybe I should just give it to her? Nope. Still a tie. Or! Since Brandi and Kelly cancel each other out, it goes to Ben. Eh? What an upset.
Winner: Ben Folds
“Good Enough”: 8Stops7 vs. Lizzy Picciallo vs. Sarah McLachlan
The Decision: Oh, come on now. Only one of these songs is by a crazy lez I actually know in real life. (Or knew. I miss you, Lizzy!)
Winner: Lizzy Picciallo
H
“Hallelujah”: Ryan Adams vs. Rufus Wainwright
The Decision: Okay, so I don’t have the Leonard Cohen version of this song, and I figured I’d put Rufus’s cover into battle, because Brandi’s been seeing so much action. And until I heard Brandi’s, Rufus’s was my fave version of this song. So I think it’s safe to say, no matter who’s singing it, Leonard Cohen’s song beats Ryan Adams’s—even though I do like this one a lot, Ryan.
Winner: Rufus Wainwright
“Happy”: Brandi Carlile vs. Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
The Decision: For some reason, I really only like this Brandi Carlile song when she’s singing it in front of me—especially since the bitch she’s singing about is not, in fact, named Emily. What the hell kind of name is Amber Lee? (And for the record, I am not the only person who thought she was saying Emily, okay? Okay.)
Winner: Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
“Haunted”: Kelly Clarkson vs. Poe
The Decision: Aw, this is one of the Poe songs Tater used to play frequently on Girly Sounds, but my mp3 has been marred by some bad ripping—I think the CD I stole from Mike has seen better days. However, this is not one of Kelly’s better songs. I won’t hold the bad technology against Poe.
Winner: Poe
“Hear Me Out”: Ben Kweller vs. Frou Frou
The Decision: It’s only recently that I’ve been digging Imogen Heap, and this song is good, but I once spent an entire Easter break driving around New Hampshire, wailing along with this Ben Kweller album, and chain-smoking Camel Lights. This was before I could legally drink, obviously.
Winner: Ben Kweller
“Hey You”: No Doubt vs. Shakira
The Decision: Oooh, this is my fave English Shakira song. No joke. I love it. Sorry, Gwen.
Winner: Shakira
“Home”: Melanie C. vs. Carbon Leaf vs. Sheryl Crow
The Decision: Okay, you can feel free to judge me for owning Spice Girl solo albums. It’s moderately embarrassing. Anyway, this is really between Carbon Leaf and Sheryl Crow, because it’s embarrassing enough to admit I own this album—I’m not going to subject myself to further humiliation by saying I like this song best of these three. Anyway. None of these are my favorites, but the Carbon Leaf and Sheryl Crow ones are good. Eh.
Winner: Sheryl Crow
“Hurricane”: Bob Dylan vs. Lisa Loeb
The Decision: Oh, Lisa. I am so sorry.
Winner: Bob Dylan
I
“I Know”: Fiona Apple vs. Blur vs. Save Ferris
The Decision: Well, I think this one comes down to Blur and Save Ferris, since this is one of the only Fiona songs that I forget as soon as it’s over. And I kind of overplayed this Save Ferris song a million summers ago.
Winner: Blur
“I Wish”: Semisonic vs. Patti LaBelle, Yolanda Adams, and Fantasia Barrino
The Decision: The latter song is from the Happy Feet soundtrack (oh, god, it’s getting harder for me to expect people to take my taste in music seriously), so I think Semisonic automatically wins this one. Even though they have better songs—and this one goes on for far too long.
Winner: Semisonic
“Independence Day”: Ani DiFranco vs. Melanie C.
The Decision: Sporty Spice is never going to win one of these, okay? And certainly not against Ani DiFranco.
Winner: Ani DiFranco
J
“Jessica”: The Allman Brothers vs. Adam Green
The Decision: On the one hand, this Allman Brothers song is a classic, but it doesn’t have any words. On the other hand, this Adam Green song has words, but is weirdly about Jessica Simpson.
Winner: The Allman Brothers
“Josephine”: Tori Amos vs. Brandi Carlile
The Decision: Here we go. A battle that restores my faith in my musical taste. Do I even have to explain anything, though? Tori’s awesome, but Brandi and the twins are awesome to the billionth power. Plus, this is one of my favorite songs to hear them do live.
Winner: Brandi Carlile
F
“Firecracker”: Ryan Adams vs. Lisa Loeb
The Decision: Well, this is kind of unfair to Lisa, since this is my very favorite Ryan Adams song. I don’t think this man can be beaten—unless he goes up against that girl who also forces me to admit I like country music.
Winner: Ryan Adams
“Follow”: Brandi Carlile vs. Semisonic
The Decision: Oh please. This one isn’t even close—Semisonic isn’t even in the same hemisphere as this Brandi Carlile song.
Winner: Brandi Carlile
“Fool”: Blur vs. Shakira
The Decision: This is one of Shakira’s only English songs that I like. Poor Blur—they keep getting blown away. (Also, don’t judge me for the Shakira albums. I wouldn’t judge your love for Blink 182—even if I would mock it. In my head.)
Winner: Shakira
“Free”: G. Love vs. Phish vs. The Martinis
The Decision: Man, that G. Love song didn’t even rate when I listened to it. And the Martinis song is from Empire Records. But once again, I’ve been loving this Phish song since elementary school.
Winner: Phish
G
“Genius”: Kings of Leon vs. The Murmurs
The Decision: This one really isn’t tough. I think I need to get rid of these songs I ganked because they were on The L-Word.
Winner: Kings of Leon
“Ghost”: Indigo Girls vs. Phish
The Decision: Oh my god, Emily Saliers’s lyrics kill me. I’d never heard this song until I went Indigo Girls crazy in preparation for their concert in August, and thank god I did go Indigo Girls crazy, because…Christ. Not only is the emotion starkly evident in these lyrics, but she deftly uses some awesome metaphors—and even alludes to the Trojan War—and I am just in awe of her as I listen to this. Um, sorry, Trey.
Winner: Indigo Girls
“Girl”: The Beatles vs. Piney Gir
The Decision: This is another Beatles song that does nothing for me. Weird.
Winner: Piney Gir
“Glory”: Brandi Carlile vs. Liz Phair
The Decision: Phew. A rematch, much more evenly matched this time. I only recently started loving this Brandi Carlile song, but man do I love it. Oh, Liz, this song is much better than your “Closer to You,” but it’s not enough.
Winner: Brandi Carlile
“Gone”: Brandi Carlile vs. Kelly Clarkson vs. Ben Folds
The Decision: This is the one I’ve been waiting for: Brandi vs. Kelly. I’m only sorry that Ben had to participate in this—I even love his song, but not enough to put him head to head with Brandi or Kelly. So with the boy out of the way, who’s going to take this one? This is one of the only songs Brandi wrote with both of the twins, and it’s so good. Better than “Losing Heart,” which is the only other one I can think of. But I don’t know. This Kelly song gets me—it’s really good to holler along with in the car. Shit! It’s a tie, motherfuckers. I can’t pick just one. Help me. Although, from what I know of the readers of this blog, if they were to vote, it’d be Brandi. So maybe I should just give it to her? Nope. Still a tie. Or! Since Brandi and Kelly cancel each other out, it goes to Ben. Eh? What an upset.
Winner: Ben Folds
“Good Enough”: 8Stops7 vs. Lizzy Picciallo vs. Sarah McLachlan
The Decision: Oh, come on now. Only one of these songs is by a crazy lez I actually know in real life. (Or knew. I miss you, Lizzy!)
Winner: Lizzy Picciallo
H
“Hallelujah”: Ryan Adams vs. Rufus Wainwright
The Decision: Okay, so I don’t have the Leonard Cohen version of this song, and I figured I’d put Rufus’s cover into battle, because Brandi’s been seeing so much action. And until I heard Brandi’s, Rufus’s was my fave version of this song. So I think it’s safe to say, no matter who’s singing it, Leonard Cohen’s song beats Ryan Adams’s—even though I do like this one a lot, Ryan.
Winner: Rufus Wainwright
“Happy”: Brandi Carlile vs. Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
The Decision: For some reason, I really only like this Brandi Carlile song when she’s singing it in front of me—especially since the bitch she’s singing about is not, in fact, named Emily. What the hell kind of name is Amber Lee? (And for the record, I am not the only person who thought she was saying Emily, okay? Okay.)
Winner: Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
“Haunted”: Kelly Clarkson vs. Poe
The Decision: Aw, this is one of the Poe songs Tater used to play frequently on Girly Sounds, but my mp3 has been marred by some bad ripping—I think the CD I stole from Mike has seen better days. However, this is not one of Kelly’s better songs. I won’t hold the bad technology against Poe.
Winner: Poe
“Hear Me Out”: Ben Kweller vs. Frou Frou
The Decision: It’s only recently that I’ve been digging Imogen Heap, and this song is good, but I once spent an entire Easter break driving around New Hampshire, wailing along with this Ben Kweller album, and chain-smoking Camel Lights. This was before I could legally drink, obviously.
Winner: Ben Kweller
“Hey You”: No Doubt vs. Shakira
The Decision: Oooh, this is my fave English Shakira song. No joke. I love it. Sorry, Gwen.
Winner: Shakira
“Home”: Melanie C. vs. Carbon Leaf vs. Sheryl Crow
The Decision: Okay, you can feel free to judge me for owning Spice Girl solo albums. It’s moderately embarrassing. Anyway, this is really between Carbon Leaf and Sheryl Crow, because it’s embarrassing enough to admit I own this album—I’m not going to subject myself to further humiliation by saying I like this song best of these three. Anyway. None of these are my favorites, but the Carbon Leaf and Sheryl Crow ones are good. Eh.
Winner: Sheryl Crow
“Hurricane”: Bob Dylan vs. Lisa Loeb
The Decision: Oh, Lisa. I am so sorry.
Winner: Bob Dylan
I
“I Know”: Fiona Apple vs. Blur vs. Save Ferris
The Decision: Well, I think this one comes down to Blur and Save Ferris, since this is one of the only Fiona songs that I forget as soon as it’s over. And I kind of overplayed this Save Ferris song a million summers ago.
Winner: Blur
“I Wish”: Semisonic vs. Patti LaBelle, Yolanda Adams, and Fantasia Barrino
The Decision: The latter song is from the Happy Feet soundtrack (oh, god, it’s getting harder for me to expect people to take my taste in music seriously), so I think Semisonic automatically wins this one. Even though they have better songs—and this one goes on for far too long.
Winner: Semisonic
“Independence Day”: Ani DiFranco vs. Melanie C.
The Decision: Sporty Spice is never going to win one of these, okay? And certainly not against Ani DiFranco.
Winner: Ani DiFranco
J
“Jessica”: The Allman Brothers vs. Adam Green
The Decision: On the one hand, this Allman Brothers song is a classic, but it doesn’t have any words. On the other hand, this Adam Green song has words, but is weirdly about Jessica Simpson.
Winner: The Allman Brothers
“Josephine”: Tori Amos vs. Brandi Carlile
The Decision: Here we go. A battle that restores my faith in my musical taste. Do I even have to explain anything, though? Tori’s awesome, but Brandi and the twins are awesome to the billionth power. Plus, this is one of my favorite songs to hear them do live.
Winner: Brandi Carlile
Another book crisis
I think I've said this before, but Madeleine L'Engle is my favorite author--she has been since I was about ten, and even though she's rather spiritual, and I've become disenchanted with Christianity, her writing is not exclusionary or proselytizing in the least, and I can actually get behind her religious views sometimes, even if I'll never really share them. Plus, as I've also said before, she was an Episcopalian--so was I until I went all heathenish. Anyway, I've been rolling this around in my head for months: she includes some gay characters in her novels, and while the portrayal is ultimately positive, there's always something ugly that, like, has the possibility to cancel out the good things. For example, in A House Like a Lotus, Polly's mentor Max is a lesbian, but towards the end of the novel, we discover that Polly, like, ran away to Greece after Max possibly tried to rape her (this is a simplification--I think she was supposed to go to Greece anyway, and I think Max even paid for the trip, but whatever), and poor Polly spends the entirety of her time traveling trying to reconcile this one ugly happening with the woman she'd come to love and admire. Now, Max is dying of some painful, wasting disease, so she wasn't in her right mind when she attacked Polly, and Polly ultimately comes to terms with this at the end and calls home to talk to her, but feh. It gives me the heebes.
Next: in A Live Coal in the Sea, Mac catches his pops taking it up the butt from the parish pastor when he's, like, eight, and it rocks his parents' marriage and his relationship with his father, and when his mother is telling Camilla this, she says that Mac's grandfather abused Art when he was a kid, and maybe that's why he was susceptible to the pastor's advances--or something--and it's all sodomy is bad, kids. But then one of Mac's elementary school teachers turns out to be gay and a wonderful guy, so he shows Mac's mom--and Mac--that gay people are just as capable of loving, fulfilling relationships as straight people. So hurrah for that. But why the priest raping to balance that out? Although, now that I'm thinking about it, Madeleine's whole thing is good vs. evil, light vs. dark--everything has a counterpart, but I guess I'm just stuck on the gay part, because, you know, gay people aren't often fairly and accurately portrayed in media. And it would really kill me if my favorite author had an issue with us. I don't know. Ultimately, I think Madeleine loves the gays--because they are ultimately positive characters in her novels.
And speaking of gay crises (but on a much more superficial level), is it weird that I found most of the male models on last week's Runway more attractive than the regular girl models?
My scarf reeks of something from Bath & Body Works, but I can't for the life of me figure out what it is. It's driving me bazoo.
Next: in A Live Coal in the Sea, Mac catches his pops taking it up the butt from the parish pastor when he's, like, eight, and it rocks his parents' marriage and his relationship with his father, and when his mother is telling Camilla this, she says that Mac's grandfather abused Art when he was a kid, and maybe that's why he was susceptible to the pastor's advances--or something--and it's all sodomy is bad, kids. But then one of Mac's elementary school teachers turns out to be gay and a wonderful guy, so he shows Mac's mom--and Mac--that gay people are just as capable of loving, fulfilling relationships as straight people. So hurrah for that. But why the priest raping to balance that out? Although, now that I'm thinking about it, Madeleine's whole thing is good vs. evil, light vs. dark--everything has a counterpart, but I guess I'm just stuck on the gay part, because, you know, gay people aren't often fairly and accurately portrayed in media. And it would really kill me if my favorite author had an issue with us. I don't know. Ultimately, I think Madeleine loves the gays--because they are ultimately positive characters in her novels.
And speaking of gay crises (but on a much more superficial level), is it weird that I found most of the male models on last week's Runway more attractive than the regular girl models?
My scarf reeks of something from Bath & Body Works, but I can't for the life of me figure out what it is. It's driving me bazoo.
It's up to your knees out there
It's a snow day, but I don't go to school anymore, so I didn't get to stay home and sleep until three. No one's at work, either, so I probably should have just called out--especially since my tires are so fucking bald, I almost skidded into the car in front of me on Amherst St., freaked out, and stalled the engine trying to stop, so I had to stop in the middle of the road, turn off my car, and turn it back on. Bah.
So since I'm at work with really nothing to do, but no reason to go home now that I'm here, I might do an extra long battle of the bands entry today. Or I might just stare at the computer for six hours and possibly drool. I haven't made up my mind yet. It's days like these I really wish I hadn't taken a stand not to download television until the writers get paid for such things. Watching all those episodes of Friday Night Lights I have on the DVR but haven't gotten to yet would definitely make the day go by. Then I could watch whatever episodes of Grey's I've missed too. Damn huge corporations, refusing to fairly compensate their employees for the work they do. (By the way, Limited Brands, I need an effing raise. Or you need to stop sending us so many boxes of gift sets.)
Ugh, and then I have to go to the mall and throw around gift set boxes for four hours. Hopefully, the weather will keep people at home tonight, but people are idiots. I'd rather be at Bath & Body Works now, because I'm sure there's no one at the mall, so I could just clean up the back room, and then we could have somewhere to put the millions of boxes of shipment we're sure to get tonight. But it'll be okay, because Ally's closing, and that means it's pretzel night!
Okay, forget pretzel night, this is the best thing ever! Go, now. Go.
So since I'm at work with really nothing to do, but no reason to go home now that I'm here, I might do an extra long battle of the bands entry today. Or I might just stare at the computer for six hours and possibly drool. I haven't made up my mind yet. It's days like these I really wish I hadn't taken a stand not to download television until the writers get paid for such things. Watching all those episodes of Friday Night Lights I have on the DVR but haven't gotten to yet would definitely make the day go by. Then I could watch whatever episodes of Grey's I've missed too. Damn huge corporations, refusing to fairly compensate their employees for the work they do. (By the way, Limited Brands, I need an effing raise. Or you need to stop sending us so many boxes of gift sets.)
Ugh, and then I have to go to the mall and throw around gift set boxes for four hours. Hopefully, the weather will keep people at home tonight, but people are idiots. I'd rather be at Bath & Body Works now, because I'm sure there's no one at the mall, so I could just clean up the back room, and then we could have somewhere to put the millions of boxes of shipment we're sure to get tonight. But it'll be okay, because Ally's closing, and that means it's pretzel night!
Okay, forget pretzel night, this is the best thing ever! Go, now. Go.
December 2, 2007
Weekend update
Special Sunday edition to tell the internet two things:
Buy the new Futurama movie! You can thank me later.
Get Brandi Carlile's new song, dammit: you can find it on her myspace page. Or my myspace page for that matter. Because you know I added it as soon as I got home from work on whatever day it was that I found out she had a new song on her myspace page.
That is all.
Buy the new Futurama movie! You can thank me later.
Get Brandi Carlile's new song, dammit: you can find it on her myspace page. Or my myspace page for that matter. Because you know I added it as soon as I got home from work on whatever day it was that I found out she had a new song on her myspace page.
That is all.
November 30, 2007
Wouldn't be a blog post without Brandi Carlile or a Mean Girls reference
They seem to be building one of everything that we have in south Nashua up on Amherst Street (Target, Uno's, Staples (or is it OfficeMax?), Starbucks, Home Depot, Circuit City, Game Stop, etc.), so where is my Barnes and Noble? Or Borders. I would accept Borders.
So! I found this old version of "Downpour," my fave Brandi Carlile song, and she's playing it by herself, and I decided it needs Josh. I love it still, but it's so not as good without the cello. The way she introduced it to the audience, though, was so adorable it almost made up for the lack of cello. And it's true, what I said--I love Brandi by herself, but the twins and Josh are so necessary to complete the awesomeness. Also, even without the twins, "Throw It All Away" is so much better live.
I've been thinking for a while of making an Ultimate Brandi Carlile Band compilation CD to play for everyone at work, but there are so many songs (and so many versions of these songs) that I just can't even start anywhere. I overwhelm myself even thinking about it. Somehow, it was easier to pick one to throw onto a girls-only compilation disc. That makes no sense.
I watched the Thanksgiving episode of Gossip Girl while I was at home on my lunch break today, and it was sweet. Blake Lively and that girl who plays Blair are cute together. I don't exactly love the boy from John Tucker Must Die, though. However. I should have watched 30 Rock, but I forgot all about it. Idiot. So I read the recap on Television Without Pity, and now I really want to watch it. But I will resist the internet streaming. And if I start actually watching Gossip Girl, I'll have to read the books, but I have a feeling that's going to be a Devil Wears Prada situation, since I hate reading about rich people and all the ridiculous shit they do, but when you can see it, when it's real, and the actors are charming, then it's okay. Because you can see how they're people underneath all the shenanigans. For all I know, the novels could be just like that, but I feel like they're not. I just have this sense, you know, like ESPN or something.
So! I found this old version of "Downpour," my fave Brandi Carlile song, and she's playing it by herself, and I decided it needs Josh. I love it still, but it's so not as good without the cello. The way she introduced it to the audience, though, was so adorable it almost made up for the lack of cello. And it's true, what I said--I love Brandi by herself, but the twins and Josh are so necessary to complete the awesomeness. Also, even without the twins, "Throw It All Away" is so much better live.
I've been thinking for a while of making an Ultimate Brandi Carlile Band compilation CD to play for everyone at work, but there are so many songs (and so many versions of these songs) that I just can't even start anywhere. I overwhelm myself even thinking about it. Somehow, it was easier to pick one to throw onto a girls-only compilation disc. That makes no sense.
I watched the Thanksgiving episode of Gossip Girl while I was at home on my lunch break today, and it was sweet. Blake Lively and that girl who plays Blair are cute together. I don't exactly love the boy from John Tucker Must Die, though. However. I should have watched 30 Rock, but I forgot all about it. Idiot. So I read the recap on Television Without Pity, and now I really want to watch it. But I will resist the internet streaming. And if I start actually watching Gossip Girl, I'll have to read the books, but I have a feeling that's going to be a Devil Wears Prada situation, since I hate reading about rich people and all the ridiculous shit they do, but when you can see it, when it's real, and the actors are charming, then it's okay. Because you can see how they're people underneath all the shenanigans. For all I know, the novels could be just like that, but I feel like they're not. I just have this sense, you know, like ESPN or something.
Battle of the Bands IV
Special double edition today, because it's Friday, and there are only three E songs!
D
“Desire”: Ryan Adams vs. Zwan
The Decision: You know, I don’t really have anything to say other than this is not my fave Zwan song.
Winner: Ryan Adams
“Does He Love You?”: Kelly Clarkson & Reba McEntire vs. Rilo Kiley
The Decision: This was an awesome battle, because not only do the songs have the same title, but they’re also about the same thing. But, seriously, Reba’s song is one of the reasons I hate country music, but it’s Kelly Clarkson dueting with her, y’all, instead of Linda Davis, and I saw the music video recently, and it’s kind of awesome, because Reba blows up a yacht, containing her cheating husband and that skank Linda Davis, at the end. That’s a good way to get revenge on your cheatin’ man and his girlfriend if I ever heard one. However. We’re not comparing music videos here. And even Kelly Clarkson singing a terrible country song can’t save it. Plus, this Rilo Kiley song is good even without all my hateration of country music to buoy it up. (Did I just say “hateration”? Yes I did.) Yes, even though it has the exact same theme as Reba’s song. Whatever. Rilo Kiley did it better, making you sympathize with both the wife and the girlfriend. Plus, no country-ness!
Winner: Rilo Kiley
“Dog-Faced Boy”: Eels vs. Phish
The Decision: Well, this is one of the only Eels songs that survived my recent iTunes purge, but I’ve been partial to this Phish song since I was ten. Tough, tough, tough!
Winner: Phish
“Down”: Ben Kweller vs. Stroke 9
The Decision: You know, I’m not quite sure why I still have this Stroke 9 album (I bought it way back in…the last century possibly for that “Little Black Backpack” song, and none of the other ones were as good). And I’ve yet to hear a Ben Kweller song I didn’t like—and I even like this one a lot.
Winner: Ben Kweller
“Drive”: Dispatch vs. R.E.M.
The Decision: Oh, man, I forgot how much I liked this R.E.M. song in high school. Goodbye, Dispatch!
Winner: R.E.M.
“Dumb”: Garbage vs. Nirvana
The Decision: Feh, I think I’m over Garbage. Plus, this Nirvana song is up there for me. Dumb or happy? It’s a fine line.
Winner: Nirvana
E
“The End”: Ryan Adams & the Cardinals vs. The Beatles
The Decision: Here’s a reason I like country music—Ryan Adams and his band doing country-ish rock ‘n roll. I don’t think I’ve ever really listened to this song, but I totally dig it. I don’t know. It might be enough to beat the Beatles. (Hah—oh, that was terrible. I’m sorry.)
Winner: Ryan Adams & the Cardinals
“Everyday”: Lisa Loeb vs. Dave Matthews Band
The Decision: Bleh, I don’t like this Dave song. I might purge that whole album. I also don't like how both of them actually mean "every day" but have titled their songs "Everyday"--but I had to pick one.
Winner: Lisa Loeb
“Everything”: Lifehouse vs. Alanis Morisette
The Decision: I’m sorry, as much as I loved this Lifehouse song when I was seventeen (and I loved it), this Alanis Morisette song has lines that purposefully do not end in prepositions: “you dig everything of which I’m ashamed,” for example. No contest.
Winner: Alanis Morisette
D
“Desire”: Ryan Adams vs. Zwan
The Decision: You know, I don’t really have anything to say other than this is not my fave Zwan song.
Winner: Ryan Adams
“Does He Love You?”: Kelly Clarkson & Reba McEntire vs. Rilo Kiley
The Decision: This was an awesome battle, because not only do the songs have the same title, but they’re also about the same thing. But, seriously, Reba’s song is one of the reasons I hate country music, but it’s Kelly Clarkson dueting with her, y’all, instead of Linda Davis, and I saw the music video recently, and it’s kind of awesome, because Reba blows up a yacht, containing her cheating husband and that skank Linda Davis, at the end. That’s a good way to get revenge on your cheatin’ man and his girlfriend if I ever heard one. However. We’re not comparing music videos here. And even Kelly Clarkson singing a terrible country song can’t save it. Plus, this Rilo Kiley song is good even without all my hateration of country music to buoy it up. (Did I just say “hateration”? Yes I did.) Yes, even though it has the exact same theme as Reba’s song. Whatever. Rilo Kiley did it better, making you sympathize with both the wife and the girlfriend. Plus, no country-ness!
Winner: Rilo Kiley
“Dog-Faced Boy”: Eels vs. Phish
The Decision: Well, this is one of the only Eels songs that survived my recent iTunes purge, but I’ve been partial to this Phish song since I was ten. Tough, tough, tough!
Winner: Phish
“Down”: Ben Kweller vs. Stroke 9
The Decision: You know, I’m not quite sure why I still have this Stroke 9 album (I bought it way back in…the last century possibly for that “Little Black Backpack” song, and none of the other ones were as good). And I’ve yet to hear a Ben Kweller song I didn’t like—and I even like this one a lot.
Winner: Ben Kweller
“Drive”: Dispatch vs. R.E.M.
The Decision: Oh, man, I forgot how much I liked this R.E.M. song in high school. Goodbye, Dispatch!
Winner: R.E.M.
“Dumb”: Garbage vs. Nirvana
The Decision: Feh, I think I’m over Garbage. Plus, this Nirvana song is up there for me. Dumb or happy? It’s a fine line.
Winner: Nirvana
E
“The End”: Ryan Adams & the Cardinals vs. The Beatles
The Decision: Here’s a reason I like country music—Ryan Adams and his band doing country-ish rock ‘n roll. I don’t think I’ve ever really listened to this song, but I totally dig it. I don’t know. It might be enough to beat the Beatles. (Hah—oh, that was terrible. I’m sorry.)
Winner: Ryan Adams & the Cardinals
“Everyday”: Lisa Loeb vs. Dave Matthews Band
The Decision: Bleh, I don’t like this Dave song. I might purge that whole album. I also don't like how both of them actually mean "every day" but have titled their songs "Everyday"--but I had to pick one.
Winner: Lisa Loeb
“Everything”: Lifehouse vs. Alanis Morisette
The Decision: I’m sorry, as much as I loved this Lifehouse song when I was seventeen (and I loved it), this Alanis Morisette song has lines that purposefully do not end in prepositions: “you dig everything of which I’m ashamed,” for example. No contest.
Winner: Alanis Morisette
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