Book crises abound

I told Allison that the film adaptation of The Golden Compass hurt my soul, and she said, "I like that books are part of your soul. It gives you character." Snerf. She may have been making fun of me a little bit, and I may have exaggerated when I said that, but I think books are part of my soul. I certainly would not be who am I without all the books I've read. If I ever go blind, my life will be over. Um, until I learn Braille.

Well, The Golden Compass topped the box office this weekend, but it only did 26 million dollars. That's half of what it needed to do to be considered a success because of the enormous budget--allegedly: some bitch I saw on CNN the other morning said that it needed to do $50 million opening weekend. This is bad news, bears. And pretty pathetic compared to what The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and even The Chronicles of Narnia did on their various opening weekends. (I don't know why, but I was so surprised that I wasn't the only person in America dying to see The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.) His Dark Materials is a better series than all of those--except The Lord of the Rings, I guess. I mean, I love The Lord of the Rings, but Tolkein's writing is really not very accessible. Pullman's is. Rowling's is almost overly accessible. C.S. Lewis's is juuuust right. Also, the fact that I love both His Dark Materials and The Chronicles of Narnia is causing an epic struggle in my soul, because His Dark Materials is, like, a rebuttal of The Chronicles of Narnia, which Pullman called "religious propaganda." Sigh. You can't ignore the Christian themes in Narnia, but I don't know. I love it anyway. Hopefully, I can work out some way where I can love both of these series without having to fight with myself.

I'd really like to know, too, since The Golden Compass was barely hyped up (compared to these other fantasy franchises), how many people who haven't read the books actually went to see it. Mike and I both wanted to see it before even I'd read the books, but that's because we're kind of obsessed with movie trailers. And! Did the people who've read the books boycott it? God, I hope not. I know I was hard on it, but I think the movie has some merits. Maybe I am just saying this, because I want The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass, which is the best book, to be made into movies. They should have just filmed all three at once like The Lord of the Rings, but it would seem that that's the only trilogy that could have ever guaranteed that all three movies would be box office smash hits. Maybe they should have waited fifty years to make His Dark Materials, giving the nerds a real chance to get obsessed. (I don't really think that would have worked, but I just don't know what to do.)

Spoiler alert!

I wonder if the non-readers picked up on what might happen next, though, because Roger and Lyra won't stop saying, "We're in this together. Together. Togethertogethertogether" at the end of the film. I imagine most people would be like, "Hmm. Perhaps you're going to be separated," but I don't think anyone will be prepared for just how heartbreaking their separation is. I know I sure as fuck wasn't. When I was re-reading the book last week in preparation for seeing the movie, this line: "only Pantalaimon, shaking Salcilia [Roger's daemon] firmly, was able to keep Roger from shouting out and leaping up to greet his best friend, his comrade in arms, his Lyra" made me cry because now I knew what was coming. Roger would follow Lyra to hell without a second thought--and that's where she takes him, and it hurts my heart how that happens. But the best part is that she fucking follows him, eventually, in spite of the enormous pain it causes her and Pan, because Lyra is nothing if not loyal.

And, while I'm here, let me bitch about this: Mrs. Coulter telling Lyra that she's her mother irritated the piss out of me, because Mrs. Coulter never admits to being Lyra's mother (to Lyra) until The Amber Spyglass. I don't know if she even knows that Lyra knows. Clearly, I need to read the rest of the trilogy again. But anyway, I guess it's more dramatic the way it happens in the movie than just having John Faa tell Lyra, and it's nothing on my irritation scale compared to what happens next. While Mrs. Coulter is telling Lyra that she's her mother, Lyra has taken out the mother-fucking alethiometer to verify this information! What the hell? How on earth is Mrs. Coulter supposed to fall for the spyfly tin trick if you have the alethiometer in your hands right in front of her? When Mrs. Coulter tries to weasel the alethiometer away from her daughter, Lyra has it stashed away in the ceiling with her winter clothes. Because she is smart. And! Because the Master told her to keep the alethiometer secret--but most of all never to show it to Mrs. Coulter--and she does all she can to keep it away from that woman. She never, ever would have whipped it out in front of her. God, I can't believe I forgot to bitch about that until just now.
No more spoilers.

Who is doing the voiceover at the beginning of the film, by the way? Lyra as an adult? I effing hate the voiceover at the beginning of the film.

You know the thing that hooked me, though, on the book? The very beginning, when little British Lyra fucking hides in a wardrobe--and keeps the door open a crack because, of course, "it is very foolish to shut oneself up in any wardrobe." Or she wants to spy on the scholars some more, but whatever. Lyra is almost nothing like Lucy, though, but that doesn't matter. Both of their adventures begin because they've hidden in a wardrobe.

You know what I kind of want to know now? If Madeleine L'Engle had an opinion on His Dark Materials. She seems like the kind of religious person who could get behind Pullman's message, that dogmatism and oppression have got to go.

Um, more spoilers, all the way through the end of the trilogy:
Here's a thing: I've read some criticism that Pullman doesn't even broach the subject of Jesus in his retelling of Paradise Lost, and thus everything is simply too shallow (or some shit), but I would like to argue that Will and Lyra play the part of Jesus, descending into hell to free the souls trapped there. Seriously, when they're in the land of the dead, they even create a landslide, which is exactly what happened when Jesus went down there--according to Dante, anyway. Will and Lyra have conquered death, you see, just like Jesus did. SO SUCK ON THAT. They're even better than Jesus, because there's no need for a bloody fucking sacrifice--but they both make a huge sacrifice to be able to go to down to the land of the dead, just as hard, if not harder, than Jesus's giving himself up to the Roman soldiers. Then they have to make another sacrifice to keep the door out of the land of the dead open--but it's nothing compared to the first sacrifice they made. So Will and Lyra are not only Adam and Eve, but they are also the redeemers. Since there is no God in His Dark Materials, Pullman can't do a "son of God" thing, so I don't know how you can even list that as a criticism, but he does have characters who do what Jesus was sent to earth to do. Isn't that awesome, though? The characters who were viewed as the root of sin are actually the saviors of humanity. Come on! Philip Pullman, I could kiss you on the mouth. end of spoilers

Interestingly, it's not C.S. Lewis's Adam and Eve (King Frank and Queen Helen) who bring evil into brand new Narnia--it's Digory, who isn't an allegorical figure as far as I can tell. But I guess Digory still commits the original sin--then rectifies it (for a time--of course the Jesus lion has to rectify it for good a thousand years later) by picking (but not eating) an apple. Blarf. Original sin is ridiculous. However! Most of English literature has been influenced by the Bible, and if I just look at it as a bunch of stories and not the answer to life's questions, I can handle it. Most of the time. Like when Madeleine L'Engle retells the story of Noah and the flood in Many Waters--I love that. She's the greatest, Madeleine L'Engle is. Or was, I guess. Sigh.