November 8, 2007

More about that foot fetish I don't (allegedly) have

Here's a thing I just discovered: all three of the boys were barefoot in Hampton Beach. I love them all. To pieces! Brandi was wearing those damn cowboy boots, which I hate more than the vest. Why is she the only one who always wears shoes? Why does Tim wear shoes now? Why didn't I get closer to the damn stage? Hampton Beach is farther away than I realized. And I had to work. And wait for my mother to be ready to go once I'd gotten home from work. I should have taken Mike; I can drag his ass anywhere--but I didn't know that until I dragged his ass to Vermont. I am so glad I have 3 people I can take to these concerts, because next time they're in New England, I'm hitting every single show. They won't play anywhere that's farther than Burlington, VT, so it'll be totally doable. (Some places in Maine might be a little more than three hours away, but not enough for it to matter!) Have they ever played in Connecticut? I know they were in Rhode Island in 2005, because I wasn't there, despite the fact that they were, like, five hundred yards from where I lived (and, seriously, I don't have many regrets, and that's near the top of the list), and they've been to Maine, Massachusetts, Vermont, and New Hampshire. So that's everywhere but Connecticut (as far as I know). Hah, that's okay. Connecticut makes me break out in hives anyway. I'd love to see them at Lupo's--but the old Lupo's, not the new Lupo's, which is actually the Strand, a hot nightclub, so you have an Avalon situation going on where everyone has to clear out at ten so the place can become a happenin' dance club or whatever the fuck. I loved the old Lupo's; I saw Ben Folds and Maroon 5 there--Ben Folds was way better. So since I'll never see anyone at the old Lupo's again, I should drop that fantasy, but I think the new Lupo's is the only place for them in Rhode Island, especially since Providence College could no longer contain them. I wonder if any of the lesbians appeared at this show. God dammit, why wasn't I there?

Anyway, I've been having a crappy week. Both jobs have been crazy stressful, which is something that's never happened at the same time, but it's Christmas time in retail, y'all. Yesterday, I tried to call out of Bath & Body Works, but Liz begged and begged me to come in, so I couldn't say no, but all I really wanted was to watch South Park with Mike and then go home and cuddle with Chuck. (Tuesday night we got to take a nap together when I fell asleep watching Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, and it was so nice. Oh, that reminds me of two things I have to talk about now: my cat and this Tila Tequila bidness.) So I was in a heinous mood on my way to the mall, and not even Brandi was having any effect on my sourness--until, that is, my iPod shuffled onto "Downpour," and I just calmed right the fuck down, and I was like, "Liz is my friend, and she needs my help tonight, so tonight I will do my best to help her, even though I'd rather be watching vulgar cartoons with my best friend." What is it about that song? Sometimes I can't even handle how much I love it. I know it's about her parents, and I don't really have the kind of relationship with mine that she has with hers, because I still live with one of them--and see the other pretty regularly--but I just...think it's beautiful. She's amazing, truly.

So, speaking of Brandi and my oft-neglected kitten, Monday, which was the craziest of the crazy stressful days, my mom called me because I was still at work at six and left me this message that was like, "I was just wondering if you were coming home for dinner. And there's a kitten here who's so sad since you went away," which, like, made me upset, because I miss Charles Wallace when I'm working all the time, but it also made me laugh, because she'd put a Brandi Carlile lyric in her message. The only reason she did this is because "What Can I Say" is my ringback tone (natch), but it was still awesome.

Okay, now onto this Tila Tequila business. I haven't watched MTV in a trillion years, because there is no music on that channel anywhere, ever, any longer, but I was home at night for the first time in forever, and this heinous dating show had lesbians on it. Okay? I'm weak for the lesbians. I couldn't seem to turn it off, even though it had lesbians and straight dudes competing for this one tiny chick who doesn't seem that appealing to me. Really, I was just hoping for some hot girl on girl action (isn't that why anyone watches reality television?), but thus far, nothin' to speak of. Not much in the guy on girl department either, which seems weird. Maybe this Tila doesn't want to be considered a whore. Whatever. I've never even heard of this bitch, either. Who is she, and why are all these people on television to compete for her affections? Anyway, none of the lesbians are even particularly attractive, except for the only one who looks like a lesbian, Dani, who I believe is there because MTV wanted at least one stereotypical dyke on the show. The other bitches look like your typical MTV reality skanks. Dani is also the most articulate, the most normal-seeming, and the cutest (and I usually don't go for the girls with boyish hair). How did she get mixed up in this craziness in the first place? Also, she's a firefighter. I kind of love that. When Dani gets booted, she can come on home to me.

Anyway, other than the aforementioned depressing lack of hot girl-on-girl action, there is one more thing that bugs me, and that is what some of the guys have to say about the lesbians. One of the episodes featured a girls vs. dudes obstacle course race, and the girls won, which really irritated those macho buttheads, and one of them was like, "Well, we lost to lesbians. They're not technically girls--they're guys." And I almost turned the tv off for that--how stupid is that? And then someone bitched about losing to "a bunch of he-shes." Idiots. Lesbians are girls--no one on the show is transgender--and just because they like girls doesn't mean they're masculine in any way. I hate it when guys can't handle losing anything to girls. How insecure are you that you can't admit a girl might do something better than you?

Oh, and then! There was a girl on there who was a virgin, and some guy had to get up in a big ruckus about how could she know she's gay if she's never been with a guy--how does she even know what she wants? I hate that! And she came back with the appropriate response: how do you know you're straight? Have you ever been with a guy? Seriously, people, you don't have to have sex to realize who you're attracted to.

Well. I didn't really mean for that to turn into an angry gay PSA, but people in this country are still so backward about homosexuality that sometimes it makes me so angry I can't see straight.

2 comments:

sunnyday04 said...

God I have to admit that I watch "Shot at Love" on MTV as well. It is far beyond a guilty pleasure and goes into the realm of incredibly humiliating. But, what can I say? I've become addicted. I'm not even a lesbian and I think that Dani is adorable too! She is one of the only ones who acts semi-normal. The rest act as though they are all crazy, mentally-unstable freaks. Some people are just so bizarrely insane. But, I guess that MTV has kind of been known for having those trashy weirdos on their shows. Oh and for the record, I love Brandi's cowboy boots :P

Booknerd said...

Hah! Of course you love the boots.

But thank you for also admitting that you watch that trash, because it is rather humiliating, and I'm all about humiliation solidarity. Also, I'm irrationally upset that one of the trashy weirdos is named Brandi. Of course.